Enlightenment – Love, Wendy

Saturday, April 29, 2023 8am

I awoke at around 1am with a feeling of euphoria and peace as I received what I can only label as a “download.” Pure spiritual energy and connection. I have been sitting in prayer and meditation for hours now and here is my understanding, and take away of my recent circumstances…

One day at a time, surrender, find the deeper meaning, implementing my spear and swim into wellness process, understanding the true meaning of community, the meaning of pure and unconditional love, and to stand even more deeply in my faith and trust in God, all in order to actually have the lived experiences that requires me to understand on a deeper level, on a spiritual level a “lived” experience of what it means to be a spiritual leader and teacher…to nurture myself and to allow events to unfold as I look up to God/Spirit/Universe for direction. And have faith. 

I am overwhelmed with gratitude and emotion at the outpouring of love from my community.
My earth angels…

I LOVED my work in the mental health field, (and look forward to returning to my work after my back surgery). Most of all, I loved Thursday’s when I facilitated a “living in balance“ wellness group on the Behavioral Health Unit at Nyack Hospital and on the Detox and Recovery Unit at Good Samaritan Hospital, as well as working with clients in recovery through my private practice. It was the most gratifying experience for me to connect with others living with a similar brain disorder. It helped me on a profound level and certainly gave me insight into a severe and persistent mental illness that takes one’s life and families, in many instances, away. A brain disorder that nearly took mine over a decade ago.

I sat and held the hands of many men and women in my work for those 3+ years and listened to their stories of their fall from grace, of abandonment of their families, of one man who was a teacher in the Nyack School District, and I wondered how that could ever happen to someone in his profession. Now I can actually relate to that man’s journey not just through listening to his story, but through living my experience that closely mirror’s his journey.

And although I could empathize with those who were homeless and unwell, I did not know what it meant to actually live these experiences. I spent many hours over the course of my work on the phone, and visiting the department of social services and other resources to attempt to give some relief to these patients, which is exactly where I find myself now. 

It was less than helpful for those patients, and nothing has changed in my experience this last week. Our government does not provide for those less fortunate who are out of work or homeless or unwell. When I asked a friend at DSS how do people live on the little bit that is provided to them ($485.00 a month!!!) his answer was, “they don’t. They stay in their home until the eviction process literally puts them out.” I cried. 

My closest friends told me last night that they will never let me lose my home or go without. I am deeply grateful. Surreal. I came from an amazing life, financially, as a wife and mother and teacher in an affluent community, to standing at the homeless shelter door, figuratively.

I think about the days working with patients and clients who were locked down in the hospital, or living at the shelter where I witnessed severe lack, severe mental illness and hopelessness. Some of whom were not even cognizant enough to understand their circumstances. Heartbreaking. My heart filled with joy when I sat with them and saw them look into my eyes and offer a faint smile. They were exhausted, and had given up hope.

I was able to leave at the end of my workday and go home to my beautiful condo, heat and hot water, organic food, peace and quiet along with my designer purse in hand, and to spend time with my loving friends and family.

Enlightenment.

I’m going to be just fine, and I believe as my mother used to say “This too shall pass.“ I used to hate that saying when she said it because it felt like what I was experiencing was insignificant to her. But it was how I was receiving her words and the meaning that I attached to it, and not at all what she meant.

I believe that experiencing these experiences is a Divinely guided intentional and temporary path so that I may serve our global community more effectively, and to actually live by my words that I have deep faith and trust in God as I serve. To lead by example and experience. To be a spiritual support and teacher.

This is not for the faint hearted. 

Thank you, once again, for your loving support.

Love and blessings, Wendy