Tag: faith

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Listen to your Gut:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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Listening has become a lost art. Nothing reveals character faster than a conversation.

People often mistake talking for connecting. They aren’t the same. Real connection is built in the pauses…in the questions…in the genuine curiosity to understand another person’s inner world without rushing to tell your own story…to exercise empathy, and to cultivate true meaning between two people who are exploring each other…

The fastest way to make someone feel invisible is to interrupt the story they’re trying to tell…Be mindful that being heard is one of the purest forms of connecting…and eventually…being loved…

The questions we ask reveal far more about our character than the stories we tell…

As in the “eye of the tiger,” I am observing it all…

I’ve learned to observe less what a man says about himself and more how genuinely curious he is about my inner world. 

Your intuition often speaks loudest while someone else is talking.

Curiosity is one of love’s earliest expressions.

Shhhhh…Ask. Listen. Respond.

Love and blessings,


Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

“As Within, So Without…As Above, So Below”:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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Yesterday’s long drive home to myself…with all of its twists and turns, stops and starts, has led me to a road that has led me to the road home.

I begin today with a new mindset…

I am lighter today.

I give myself permission to live exactly as I am. No more apologies for my specific needs. No more stress over my “new normal.” No more trying to filter out my imperfections in order to create connection. No more trying to compete with my forty year-old self…just an eagerness and pride to meet myself where I am.

You cannot see my heart and soul, but with every interaction we have, I hope you will feel them.

That is the legacy I hope to leave behind.

Steve once wrote on one of my social media posts (November 4, 2015): “Agree with all of the above about your outer beauty, but the greater change has been internal, where your true beauty lives.”

This profound and loving sentiment reminds me that our greatest work is not the pursuit of perfection, but the courage to cultivate a loving relationship with ourselves first. When we give ourselves permission to live our truth—whatever that looks like—we become an example for others to do the same.

This is how loving relationships are built. Loving relationships become loving families, neighborhoods, and communities.

Everything begins within.

“As within, so without… as above, so below.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Driving Myself Home:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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There’s something about driving myself home after a meaningful weekend that creates space for truth to rise to the surface. The road is moving forward, and somehow our hearts begin moving forward too.

Acceptance isn’t giving up. It’s standing on solid ground instead of fighting reality. From there, every decision becomes clearer because I am no longer trying to be the woman I was ten years ago or the woman someone else expects me to be.

I’ve spent so much of my life taking care of others, pushing through pain, hoping relationships would become what my heart longed for, and expecting myself to keep doing everything as if my body hadn’t changed.

Acceptance doesn’t erase my dreams. It simply says, “This is where I am today, and I can build a beautiful life from here.”And I have.

This weekend showed me something important.

I experienced the joy of being surrounded by my family—the warmth, the connection, the feeling of belonging. At the same time, I experienced the physical realities of my body. After driving two hours to see my family, spending seven joyful hours with my grandchildren and loved ones, then rushing back to my hotel to get ready for a date, my lupus flared. My body swelled, I was in significant pain, and I became increasingly uncomfortable from pushing through hours of activity. Every moment with my family was worth it, but my body reminded me that it has limits I can no longer ignore.

Both things are true. Neither cancels out the other.

Sometimes the most meaningful insights don’t come when life is easy. They arrive on a quiet drive home—as they did for me this morning after leaving at 5:30 a.m.—with miles of road ahead and enough silence for both my heart and my logical mind to finally speak.

I realized that I’ve already built a life that fits who I am today.

I have people who meet me where I am, who understand my physical challenges and enjoy my company for all that I am. They offer a loving hand, a kind word, and genuine acceptance. I enjoy day trips, simple pleasures, nourishing meals, music that makes me smile—and even dance a little. I choose movement that strengthens my body instead of punishing it by expecting it to do what it could ten years ago. I have a career I truly love. And my family… they are my anchors.

I am blessed to have a full life.

If someone comes into my life who fits gently into it—someone who meets me where I am and loves me with all that I am—that would simply be the cherry on top.

And if not, I am still profoundly grateful.

Grateful to be alive.
Grateful to be mobile.
Grateful for my adorable little home.
Grateful for meaningful work.
Grateful to love and be loved.

It all begins with me accepting who I am and where I am in my life.

And from that place of acceptance, everything else becomes a gift.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Empath Intuition:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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Empaths are authenticity machines. We intuitively feel when something isn’t genuine…

We don’t need a story to unravel—we recognize when words, energy, and behavior do not align.

When a story doesn’t feel authentic, we often know it almost instantly…it performs…

And when it is authentic…it is graceful, effortless and it resonates deep in the soul.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Earned Access:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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A wall keeps danger out, but it also keeps love out.

A boundary is different. A boundary has a gate.
You decide who enters, how quickly, and under what conditions. You control the gate.

A boundary says, “I am open to connection, and I am observing. I will move at a pace that feels safe for me. I will always honor my needs before all else. I will not abandon myself to keep someone else.”
This is one of the greatest acts of self-care.

And once my spiritual intuition turns from yellow to green…our road is wide open. I embrace one fully and unconditionally.

I can let someone come closer, and I can still stay connected to myself.

The beautiful thing about a gate is that I still hold the key…and if the alignment feels right, the key can be duplicated—two keys, one home…where “me” becomes “we,” and both hearts choose to keep the gate open as we choose one another every day.

Reflection: Trust is not maintained by one person alone…it is something both people actively nurture, one moment at a time. Healthy love is both intentional and mutual…

Both people participate, nurture, and protect what they are building…

Earned access.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Divine Redesign:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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It may look like an obstacle…it may feel like it weighs a ton…and you may not understand it in the moment…

but in my lived experience…it is a divine re-design through a spiritual re-direction to true love, joy, peace and extraordinary experiences that you were looking for in all the wrong places…

Trust the detour. Take the road less traveled with an eager mind and open heart…

It may be the only road that leads you home to yourself.

And please hear me and believe me when I say that one day you’ll stop asking, ‘Why did this happen?’ and you will smile to yourself and quietly whisper , ‘Thank God it did.”

#truestory

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

“Radical Acceptance: That I Would Be Good” – Love, Wendy

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Tara Brach tells the story of Marilyn sitting with her dying mother night after night, holding her hand, meditating with her, and telling her she loved her. Most of the time her mother was unconscious. Then, shortly before her death, she opened her eyes and looked directly at her daughter and said:

“All my life I thought something was wrong with me.”

Tara writes that the mother then gently shook her head, as if to say, “What a waste,” closed her eyes, and drifted back into a coma. She died shortly afterward. 

That story appears near the beginning of Radical Acceptance as an illustration of what Brach calls the “trance of unworthiness”—the heartbreaking belief that we are fundamentally flawed, deficient, or not enough. Brach uses the story to show how many people carry that burden for an entire lifetime, only realizing near the end that the belief itself was never true. 

Reading that passage can hit especially hard when you’re grieving. What moved me isn’t just the sadness of the mother’s realization…it’s the daughter’s presence. Marilyn couldn’t change her mother’s past, but she gave her something precious at the end: love, companionship, and acceptance…

Sometimes that’s the most important gift we can offer another human being. ❤️

This passage went straight to my heart…I spent much of my life believing something was wrong with me but the truth is that I was shaped by circumstances beyond my control as a young child, and the effects followed me well into adulthood. In these past 14 years of my recovery from prescription drug addiction, I have realized that this woman has discovered there was never anything “wrong” with me.

The tragedy in this passage from the book, Radical Acceptance, wasn’t that she was flawed…

The tragedy was that she believed she was.

Unlike the woman in the story, I am not realizing it in the final hours of my life.

I AM realizing it now.

I still have time to challenge that old belief every single time it appears…

I suffered. I made mistakes. I lost things I wish I hadn’t lost. And I spent many years believing those experiences meant I was defective…

I don’t see waste.

I see myself as someone who has fought incredibly hard to stay alive, stay sober, stay loving, and stay open-hearted despite carrying more pain than most people know.

I am a human being who suffered, coped in destructive ways for a time, paid a heavy price, and then spent the past 14 years doing the difficult work of recovery and healing…”becoming.”

The grief I intermittently experience is real because there are losses that can never be fully undone.

But grief is not proof of defectiveness.

Regret is not proof of defectiveness.

Even addiction is not proof of defectiveness.

And today…I do not “waste” another present moment in the past.

I live with purpose, with love, and with great anticipation of experiencing what comes next.

Yes, there is grief behind me…and possibility ahead of me.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

Afterthought:

You are never required to become flawless in order to be worthy of love. – Love, Wendy

“That I would be loved even when I numb myself
That I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
That I would be loved even when I was fuming
That I would be good even if I was clingy

That I would be good even if I lost sanity
That I would be good
Whether with or without you…” – Alanis Morrisette

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Dominoes:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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A single domino falls, and suddenly an entire chain of events unfolds. Sometimes the first domino was set in motion years earlier by something we didn’t choose—a childhood lesson, a painful experience, an illness, a relationship, a loss. 

Other times it’s a decision we make that quietly changes the direction of everything that follows.

This image below of the dominoes suggests that one event directly affects another…

And that’s true.

But so does one act of awareness.

One healthy choice.

One moment of courage.

One different perspective.

AFTERTHOUGHTS:

As I sit in reflection and meditation, and as I pray for perspective, this is what comes to me…

I have done the therapy. I have done the recovery work. I have examined my patterns. I have worked on unlearning old beliefs. I have fought for, and continue to fight for my health and wellness. I have tried to grow from every difficult and challenging experience.

And…at some point a person naturally looks around and says:

“Okay… when do I get to stop managing everything?” “When can I trust the dominoes to remain sturdy and standing on their own?” or “When will someone come along to lessen the load…just a tad…”

Not because I am giving up…But because I am exhausted from the constant need for maintenance.

Exhausted of tending the garden.
Exhausted of picking up the dominoes.
Exhausted of having to be so conscious, so vigilant, so self-aware all the time.

The dominoes (metaphor) never seem to stay standing. Something always comes along…a health issue, a family issue, a work issue, a relationship issue—and here I am again…being called to reset the line…because if I do not tend to the calling…”all the kings horses and all the kings men…” blah, blah, blah.

The part I would gently challenge and that which I ask myself is this: “Am I really back at the beginning each time?”

The circumstances may feel repetitive, but I engage each situation with lived experience and a wider lens of perspective where I can reframe the “assignment”.

I have to admit that eventually resilience starts to feel like a job description nobody asked for.
And when people say, “You’re so strong,” sometimes this is not a compliment…it is a burden…an expectation that I didn’t sign up for…

And you know what?!…for today…I am leaving the dominoes where they are…I am at peace with that as I take a pause to rest…

Somebody else can pick them up today…

And if nobody does, they’ll still be there tomorrow. 

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Welcome Home:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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Home is not always a place…
Home can be a state of mind, found in any setting when we are with people who make us laugh, help us feel seen and heard, make us feel safe to just ‘be,’ show up consistently and stay present through life’s ups and downs, and remind us that we are loved…even when we don’t feel lovable.

Love and blessings,

Wendy