Blog

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

KEEP ON GOING – LOVE, WENDY

“Staying in an unhealthy, familiar space feels safe. It is a false sense of stability and wellness tied to a mindset of fear of speaking ones truth. It keeps us connected to disease, dys-regulation, and disorder where we are dishonoring our truth.

When we realize that discomfort is necessary to heal and to grow, and that facing the uncertainty and challenges of a situation is a necessary and profound part of transformation, we cultivate healthy change, and oneness.

We achieve wellness body, mind and spirit.

We are free.

We are empowered.

Acknowledge your truthful thought that reminds you that change is needed, and then take one step towards making that change.

Keep on going.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

DISENGAGE OVER DISRESPECT OF SELF – LOVE, WENDY

“Please remind yourself that when one is disrespectful and unkind showing no empathy and compassion, but only sheer selfishness with no regard whatsoever for you as a precious soul and human being, you can choose to completely disengage. Most especially, when one attempts to deplete your energy with requests that go unappreciated and in fact, something one feels “entitled” to receive.

“No,” is your self care. No explanation needed.

Simply “No.”

Please advise yourself not to dishonor, disrespect, disown and disgrace yourself by accepting abusive and neglectful behavior from others whether acquaintances, friends, or a family member.

Boundaries are to be implemented as a major source of self care…

We all deserve to be loved, appreciated, to live with wellness, and to experience peace.

Protect your energy. This is YOUR fuel for wellness.

DISENGAGE OVER DISRESPECT.”

“Self care is the actions that we take to achieve wellness and wellness is where we stand in our power.”

Love,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

EXCERPT FROM MY UPCOMING BOOK WRITE PRAY RECOVER:A JOURNEY TO WELLNESS THROUGH SPIRITUAL SOLUTIONS AND SELF CARE – CHAPTER 1: LOOK UP CHILD-LOVE, WENDY

“I lived in a constant state of fight, flight, freeze equipped with zero coping skills. My parents coped with drugs, alcohol and destructive behaviors…hence my own learned behavior. We absolutely “live what we learn.” And, we know that mental illness and substance use disorder are genetic, and that environment is also a contributing factor.

At the age of fourteen, I suffered sexual abuse/molestation by an ex-boyfriend, Eddie G., (who was eighteen and had already been in jail once), and five of his friends on the side of the road in broad daylight as I was walking from my home to the local movie theatre to see my then boyfriend. They surrounded me on a busy highway, Route 9W, on a cold February day, and these young men, put their hands inside of my bra, and in my underwear as they laughed and shouted obscenities the entire time. I was screaming and trying to push them off of me, to no avail. When they were done, they walked away laughing, and left me on the ground. I can remember feeling dizzy and a heaviness in my head as I sat there on the cold ground, stunned, for what seemed like hours but was merely just a few minutes. Cars were whizzing by as I stood up, straightened out my clothes, brushed myself off, and continued walking to the movie theater where I was going to see my then boyfriend who was an usher at the theater. I arrived there, smiled, and never told anyone what had happened to me that day. I now know that the trauma I experienced that day, one which I never processed, profoundly affected my mental health. And, as I have learned many years later, our mental health is directly related to our physical health. I would spend the next 40 years struggling with my mental, physical, and spiritual health, and with an addiction to prescription drugs, all in an attempt, albeit an unhealthy attempt, to numb the memories, the noise in my head, the abuse, the neglect, the dysfunction, the rage, the screaming, the threats…all of it, until I could no longer run from myself, my thoughts, my memories, or my reality at age 54.

In early 2013, shortly before I asked for help to save my life, my body was frail and malnourished as I suffered with many health issues in addition to IBD/IBS, such as a Lupus diagnosis, and organs (kidneys and lungs) that were no longer functioning normally, related to my drug use, and my brain’s neurotransmitters were all but deadened by the toxicity of the pills, and the lack of nourishment and fluids. I would fall asleep mid-sentence, could not complete a thought, felt confused and disoriented, slept all day, and stayed awake at night as I was suffering from a drug-induced psychosis where I believed I was being watched through the heating vents in the house, through the television, and through my stereo speakers. Paranoid delusions caused by ingesting over 2,000 pills a month. I was even driving short distances where I would experience severe lightheadedness and fainting spells where I could just stay awake and pull over long enough to call 911. A couple of times with my youngest child in the car, I began to fall asleep at the wheel and she’d scream, “Mom!” This loud scream would save our lives on more than one occasion.  My children paid a dear price for my addiction, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.”

My book, Write Pray Recover:A Journey To Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care is my story of living with lifelong Substance Use Disorder and co-occurring mental health disorders, and my “Wellness Approach to Recovery,” now in my ninth year.

My inspirational/interactive book is tentatively scheduled for release this December! Please check back for updates, and upcoming giveaways!

Thank you for following my story. My only intention is to raise awareness, eliminate stigma, and to serve others living with these disorders, and of course, it is cathartic for me in my own recovery to share my story.

Love, gratitude and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

EXCERPT FROM MY UPCOMING BOOK WRITE PRAY RECOVER:A JOURNEY TO WELLNESS THROUGH SPIRITUAL SOLUTIONS AND SELF CARE

CHAPTER 13 – SURRENDER

When the ambulance came to get me to bring me to the hospital on the day that I asked for help to save my life, I was in grave health. I was in and out of consciousness and in severe withdrawal from codeine pills and Xanax, and many other controlled substances, severe dehydration, as well as lack of nutrition, nutrients, and vitamins, due to a severe eating disorder.  But, when I came to, I remember feeling a sense of peace. I remember speaking aloud to Spirit and saying, “I surrender. I’m not afraid.” I knew that whatever was meant to be, whether I was to live or die, it would be. I remember saying that I was ready for whatever God had planned. I did not beg for my life, as I just had a knowing that I hadn’t been brought this far to be taken now. I “knew” that God had a plan for me because I heard Him say so when I prayed for him to show me the way out on the night before I asked for help. I surrendered. Surrender is the ultimate freedom.

This experience and vivid memory has had a profound impact on me. When we understand that we have absolutely no control over any situation, we understand surrender. Over the years in desperation of wanting a specific outcome, I had sometimes forgotten my greatest lesson in surrender where my life hung in the balance all held in the Universe/God/Spirit’s loving embrace. I would try to manipulate an outcome that I felt was best for me or that I wanted. After a short while of constant struggle, constant frustration, and constant physical illness caused by this mental stress, I was reminded that it is with radical acceptance, aligned with ease and grace given by my connection to Spirit, which would be the healthiest strategy. I surrendered to the Universe and trusted in whatever solutions were presented. I have never been disappointed in the gorgeous blessings that the Universe has bestowed upon me. Some, in fact, were blessings I could never have imagined for myself.

Most recently, I was struggling financially and thought about going back to teaching which is one of my passions and where I could earn a better living. I prayed for guidance, and through my friend, Karen’s words of encouragement, (I believe that the Universe speaks to us through others) I applied for a position. Honestly, I went into the interview very prepared, but with absolutely no expectations. I was 61 years old and thought they would go for someone younger and with more updated experience. However, the Universe is always in control of our destiny! I began seeing the city name where I was eventually to be hired everywhere! I knew that the Universe was reassuring me that I would soon have this new job and be able to crawl out of debt, not to mention have the opportunity to do the work I am passionate about within my community with youth who have similar circumstances as I had as a young girl. Who better than me to guide them?! Not only did I get this new job, but I was asked to teach at our Teacher’s Center at extra pay, and then the Universe provided me with an opportunity to offer, through my private practice, holistic health counseling working with clients in recovery, and offering my self created mental health and wellness professional developments and presentations where teacher’s who attended my trainings would received professional credits! Can you say blessing, blessing, blessing?! 

Amen! Amen! Amen!

I just listened to the Spiritual guidance that I was receiving, opened my mindset to new perspectives, (the miracle shift!), and I was guided through spiritual solutions to choices that would enhance my career, not to mention allow me to serve, which is my passion, and my mission!

The moment that I surrendered, prayed, believed and trusted in the loving presence of the Universe/God/Spirit, I received abundance!

I do believe that the years of my “wellness recovery”, my extensive training in mental health and Substance Use Disorder, Social Emotional Learning and in all of my successes within my challenges, detours, and un-successes, (every experience is a learning tool!) prepared me for this new challenge working with inner city youth who do not easily adapt to change, and who are in need of much social emotional development and TLC. I consider myself so deeply blessed, and I am so grateful. And, to create a professional development in response to COVID19, mental health awareness, trauma informed care, and racial inequity that is being widely embraced! Talk about Divine timing! My knowledge and training were being requested by Spirit to be shared with my community at this devastating time of the COVID pandemic. It was a win-win. 

Learning to adapt to and to appreciate what is, “knowing it is in our highest blessing” is acceptance. Radical acceptance. Attempting to force any circumstances actually diminishes one’s self-respect and compromises one’s self-love. It also blocks our faith. When a situation is supposed to come to fruition, and in time it does, then we know that the Universe has strategized and lovingly schemed to place on our path what was meant to be all along. Being grounded deeply in faith, and trusting Spirit although we cannot “see” the proof is the peace of surrender that sustains our faith.

I am now a much sought after mental health and wellness consultant and educator, and in addition to my practice, and my educational mental health and wellness trainings, I also sit on a coalition that serves to educate, empower and save the lives of our youth through our work and engagement in our community. We teach about substance use disorder and mental illness as we raise awareness and increase our public health approach through our language and of our understanding of the facts of these brain disorders.

Once I learned to surrender and “give over,” to Divine direction and timing, and learned to experience each experience to the fullest in order to enhance my wellness and to connect more deeply myself, to others, and spiritually, all of my highest blessings unfold organically. The way that all beautiful and healthy things emerge.

SUGGESTIONS IN PRACTICING SURRENDER

Even after a hard fall, you accept that there is no other way to travel but to get back on the bike and pedal forward. You pick yourself up, get back on the bike, and begin your journey again, with caution, slow and steady. You’re holding on, eyes wide open, ready for the new adventure, and ready to explore all of the beauty and possibilities that the Universe will place on your path. This is your ride. You choose the speed you’re comfortable with as you listen to your inner GPS (God’s Plan of Surrender), and navigate the terrain with ease, with wonder, and with purpose. You can peel out, burn rubber, make sparks fly, or just coast, but most importantly, you can enjoy the ride!

It’s a feeling, a deep and connected feeling we experience that tells us that the Universe’s plan for us, and all that we desire—a co-creation—is unfolding. We experience feelings of a source, or force, pulling us like a magnet to metal, and we cannot break free of the current. We begin to feel euphoric and grateful in knowing that all that we have prayed for as we have done all of the right things for ourselves and others, is coming to fruition in the form of blessings. If we nurture this co-creation, we will be amazed at our own power when aligned with the love and guidance of the Universe. 

When we believe that all that we have is crumbling into pieces, and we believe we have been left with nothing, we may finally surrender, and then, in that space, in our clarity, we find everything that we need.

When we surrender to God/Universe/Spirit, we are trusting that we are being Divinely guided on a path that will serve our highest blessings. We cannot see, or know, all that the Universe can, so we place our trust in the direction in which we are guided. 

When you begin to feel fear escalating, when you are stepping away from faith, ask the Universe, “What action would best serve me in this moment?” Then, get still and listen to your intuition as you connect to your loving and enlightened guides, and that of your own “knowing.”

Ask for a specific sign that will be specifically meaningful to you. Write down the sign you have asked for. Wait for it. Allow your intuition to be your guide. When you receive it, memorialize it below, or in your own journal. 

When we stand in our faith and connection, Spirit uses that channel to vibrate meaning through a variety of modalities specific to your relationship. Tune in. You will learn quite quickly the “lines of communication” that are open between you. The more that you communicate, the more Spirit will communicate. Now you have an ongoing dialogue! This will assist you in remaining in the present moment, to deepen your faith, and to guide you to remain awake and aware of your connection.  

Since beginning your spiritual practice, in what ways have you surrendered? 

How has it freed you? Served you? What have you learned through the practice of surrender? Do you feel any challenges in the practice of Surrender?

List the ways in which your thinking and behavior have become aligned since your surrender. How has your life changed as you practice Spiritual Surrender? Do you notice any improved physical health changes along the way as you have surrendered?

What modalities does Spirit use to communicate with you personally? How do you communicate with Spirit?

_______________________________________________________________________________

My book is tentatively scheduled to be released in December, 2021! Please check back for updates and free giveaways coming!

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

S.P.E.A.R. STOP PAUSE EMOTE ALLOW REST – LOVE, WENDY

“We all have feelings and emotions. Some days they may stop us in our steps and say, “Hello, I need to be acknowledged!” Sometimes this may be a delayed trauma response, or it may be a culmination of chronic stressors where we feel overwhelmed.

Give your feelings a voice. Honor your emotions.

“STOP. PAUSE. EMOTE. ALLOW. REST. –

S.P.E.A.R.”

Allow yourself to feel, and take whatever time you need. Practice extra self care.

For those who mean well by telling you to “Focus on your blessings! Be positive,” give yourself permission and power to realize when others do not know how to support us appropriately, and do not have the skill, or the experience and words that we may need at the time, know that they mean well. And, some may be uncomfortable observing as we experience emotions and feelings because it may force them to go within where they may be suppressing their own feelings and emotions that also need validation.

We ALL have mental health.

When we are feeling mentally unwell, we do not need to “focus on our blessings and all the positives in our lives.“ What we need is a safe space, and the time, however long that is for us, to experience the experience.

S.P.E.A.R. yourself into the experience. Ask for support if you feel you need support. This begins the healing process.

Whatever healthy practices you need to heal, do it…and take your time.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

EXCERPT FROM MY UPCOMING BOOK WRITE PRAY RECOVER:A JOURNEY TO WELLNESS THROUGH SPIRITUAL SOLUTIONS AND SELF CARE—“LOOK UP CHILD”

In order that we experience awareness of others to the extent of connection, and of serving, we must be fully connected to self, and to God/Spirit/Universe. We must authentically live with a heart and mind filled with empathy and logic, remaining steadfast in clear intention, and allow Spirit to guide us. Here are two stories of epic awareness…awareness of self, of another, and of Spirit.

ALWAYS, “LOOK UP CHILD”

As I sat working on Chapter 1 in early July, 2021, to re-edit some of my writing as suggested by my editor at Friesen Press, for more of an even flow of text for the reader to follow, I sat to ponder a title for the chapter that was about the abuse and challenges of my childhood, and subsequently turning to God/Spirit/Universe for support and loving guidance in early 2013 to save my life. I couldn’t think of a title in the moment, so I got up to make some tea and said to myself, “I don’t need a title just yet. I will think about it.” I started into the kitchen to make the tea. As I began to walk towards the kitchen, still in my bedroom where my work space is, and where my music was playing on Pandora, (God/Spirit/Universe always speaks to me through music), the song by Lauren Daigle, “Look Up Child” began to play. I stopped right in my steps, and turned around to look at the bluetooth speaker and saying to myself, and then aloud, “Thank you, Spirit!” I immediately realized that THIS was a spiritual suggestion for the Chapter 1 title! So awesome, and so “normal” in my spiritual connection! I am always given guidance and direction to my highest blessings! I called my son, Matthew, to share that the Universe had just communicated with me with a suggested title that was perfect! I never would have come up with that on my own!

Where are You now

When all I feel is doubt?

Oh, where are You now

When I can’t figure it out?

“You’re not threatened by the war

You’re not shaken by the storm

I know you’re in control

Even in our suffering

Even when it can’t be seen

I know You’re in control

Oh I, I-I-I, I hear You say

I hear You say

Look up child, Look up…” – Lauren Daigle

BRIAN BAILEY…”THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE.”

Recently, as I read my dear friend, Brian’s Instagram page about his own book being prepared for publishing, my heart filled with so much gratitude and love for my friendship with Brian. We met in 2013, shortly after I began my recovery, and Brian had been attending a 12 step meeting that I decided to give a try. It turned out that the 12 step approach was not for me, and instead, I opted to create, and to follow my own holistic “Wellness Approach to Recovery,” however, Brian was the Divine blessing and gift in my short time of attending these meetings. Spirit brings us all that we need…people, situations, and places in the most creative and healing ways. Brian was another “gift along the way” on my path of recovery.

Brian’s journey was one of severe childhood abuse and neglect, being imprisoned and sexually trafficked at the age of four years old, needing the protection of Child Protective Services, living in a foster home. Later on, Brian battled addictions, and other challenges which we know are a direct “trauma response.”

Brian and I became fast friends. One of the kindest and sweetest souls I’ve ever met. In the beginning of my own recovery, I was hosting a radio show on Intention Radio on the internet called, “The Rx Diaries,” and my dear friend Brian, in an attempt to help me to succeed in sharing my own story of lifelong prescription drug addiction and co-occurring disorders, as well as to share his own story to help others, agreed to allow me to interview him for my radio show.

His story was almost unbelievable, yet so true, and more common than we know. It was compelling, chilling, awe inspiring, and probably the most frightening account of abuse and neglect of a child that I had ever heard. As I listened to his account, my stomach tightened, my heart was racing, I felt a rush of tears thinking about what my friend had lived through at the hands of the people who were supposed to protect him, and I found myself completely engrossed in this sweet soul’s account of his “childhood.” My heart literally hurt inside of my chest as I listened, and tried to process Brian’s account of his trauma.

Brian and I enjoyed our friendship time together. I went to see him perform locally in “The King and I,” a brilliant performer, and we took my granddaughter, Rosie, out for lunch in our town, as well as spending lots of time texting and talking on the phone, engaging in many, many meaningful, heartfelt conversations. Eventually, after Brian moved to Rhode Island, (I live in New York) we lost touch, yet I always loved my friend, and my heart smiled when he crossed my mind. He had been such a great comfort to me, as well as a loving support, when I felt completely lost in early 2013 just starting out in my recovery. He was an anchor.

And then, God/Spirit/Universe, had a “reunion” planned for us one late night in 2018, even though we were living states apart, a reunion that would literally save Brian’s life.

Unable to sleep late one night in 2018, approximately 11:00 PM, restless and uneasy, I tapped my Facebook app to log on to divert my busy mind, and I immediately saw my friend Brian doing a Facebook LIVE. Brian was clearly intoxicated, and he seemed hopeless, helpless, and experiencing suicidal ideation. He was not making any sense, and was escalating in his agitation. He was also clearly delusional. I knew I had a limited window of opportunity to help my dear friend. Brian was spiraling, LIVE, in real time. 

He needed help fast. He lived hours away in Rhode Island. I was trying to join him on the LIVE, unsuccessfully, and typing in the LIVE comments as I tried to get his attention, to guide him, and to let him know I was there, to no avail.

Brian was completely oblivious in his mental state and acuity, and was not responding to me. My heart began racing, and all I could do in that moment was to remember my Mental Health First Aid and Suicide Safety training…I’ve taught these steps to thousands in my work throughout my community…”breathe, remain present in order to be clear in stating the facts in order to send for help, and speak confidently. CALL 911.” 

Unfortunately, implementing the ALGEE action plan (Mental Health First Aid-ASSESS for risk of suicide or harm, LISTEN NON-JUDGMENTALLY, GIVE REASSURANCE AND INFORMATION, ENCOURAGE APPROPRIATE PROFESSIONAL HELP, and ENCOURAGE SELF HELP AND OTHER SUPPORT STRATEGIES) associated with my training and education where we attempt to administer Mental Health First Aid until help arrives or until the situation is resolved, was not an option, as I could not reach my friend via phone, Facebook, or text.

I immediately called the police in Brian’s town to assist. I calmly explained what I had just observed on Facebook, and that I was a Recovery Specialist who works in the field of mental health, and asked that they go over to Brian’s home to do a “wellness check.” 

Unbeknownst to Brian, he was about to begin a brand new type of recovery…body, mind and spirit, as I reached out to a friend/colleague who works in the field at a top drug/alcohol/mental health facility in the country…if Brian made the decision to accept the help.

The very next morning, Brian called me while I was at work at the Mental Health Association. He was deeply grateful for my intervention, what we know was “Divine Intervention.” We talked for some time, and I suggested that he allow me to guide him in finding the perfect rehabilitation “fit,” for him so that he could begin a “holistic recovery” through an integrated approach, body, mind, and spirit, aligned with a traditional medical approach. He gratefully agreed.

I stayed close in support of Brian over the next couple of months as he reached out very often to vent, or to talk, or to tell me what he was afraid of as he prepared for treatment. I always took his calls, and checked up on him a few times a week while he awaited an empty bed in the facility. It was like this in every facility. A break down in “supply and demand.” This breakdown was life threatening, so I gratefully stood in as the “transition” until a bed became available. I knew once Brian entered the facility, he would not be allowed to have his phone to continue our communication. I let him know that I would be there in “spirit,” and cheering him on in the background, praying for his wellness, and that I would be here when he returned home, and was ready to speak. I told him that one day we would, together, serve others living with these dis-orders, and now, both of us have written books to serve others.

Brian is doing so well today, and writing his book so that he may share all that he has experienced in order to serve others. Brian has crawled out of the darkness through Spirit’s light and grace, and now shines his light, also led by Spirit, for others to find their own way.

As a young boy being abused, Brian would look up and sing out, “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine “to connect to Spirit.”

Here is what he wrote to me in May, 2021.

“EARTH ANGEL! Oh. Do I have your permission to tell our story, because you threw a buoy…my dear!”

What a blessing to have been chosen by Spirit to help my friend in God’s grace! My answer?, “Of course. Anything for you, my dear friend.”

Brian went on to thank me for all of the work that I do daily in being of service to those who are living with Substance Use Disorder, and Mental Illness.

“And bravo for the daily work you BE for guiding our future! Not work for the faint of heart! The work ahead requires complete transparency. Vulnerability. And how we lift each other cause sometimes we cant lift ourselves!”

God/Spirit/Universe guided and used me that night to save Brian’s life. This was the purpose which brought us to cross paths in 2013, as well as Brian being a gift to me along my own recovery journey. And, It was an answer to my daily prayer…

“Today please show me who to see, where to go, what to say, and to whom, to help another person.”

As a matter of routine, I am never up at that late hour, and certainly not on Facebook. I was guided there by our loving Universe. Spirit is always guiding us and using us to serve and support others. If we are open to Divine communication, we are able to see and hear beyond our physical limitations, and truly serve. Humility.

Brian is one of my truest inspirations. What an incredible and brave man and journey. I can’t wait for everyone to hear Brian’s courageous story. 

Love you my dear friend. I am honored to be your friend, and to call you mine, and I’m so grateful to be a part of your story. I cherish our friendship.

Brian’s light is shining once again, and in sharing his story, and in serving others, it becomes brighter and brighter.

My dear Brian, Spirit heard your voice singing, “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine,” and answered on that late night in 2018.

“Faith that perseveres is faith that is strengthened.” And, it is food for the soul.”

Check back for book release updates. WRITE PRAY RECOVER:A JOURNEY TO WELLNESS THROUGH SPIRITUAL SOLUTIONS AND SELF CARE is tentatively scheduled for publication in December, 2021!

I will also be offering free giveaways, so please check back!

Love, blessings, and gratitude,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

A BLOCKBUSTER – LOVE, WENDY

When impatience begins to escalate your anxiety, remind yourself to breathe into it, yet do not give into it.

Ask for spiritual strength, and repeat to yourself my favorite quote from “A Course In Miracles, “Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait and wait without anxiety.“ This is my mantra for “realignment.”

Then, go deeper as you use this experience to expand your patience and deepen your faith.

It’s about “when,” not “if.”

When the Universe/God/Spirit shows you a preview of what is to come, have faith, and wait with patience and eagerness for “the main event.”

Spirit always shows up with our highest blessings “when” the plot twists unexpectedly.

A blockbuster.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

FULLY EDITED AND READY FOR PUBLICATION EXCERPT FROM MY UPCOMING BOOK:WRITE PRAY RECOVER:A JOURNEY TO WELLNESS THROUGH SPIRITUAL SOLUTIONS AND SELF CARE-VISION:I SEE, HEAR, AND FEEL BEYOND MY PHYSICAL LIMITATIONS LOVE, WENDY

VISION: I SEE, HEAR, AND FEEL BEYOND MY PHYSICAL LIMITATIONS

AT LAST:

“At last, my love has come along.

I found a dream that I could speak to

A dream that I can call my own

I found a thrill to press my cheek to

A thrill that I have never known.”

HOPELESSLY DEVOTED TO YOU:

“My head is sayin’, “Fool, forget him”

My heart is sayin’, “Don’t let go

Hold on to the end”, that’s what I intend to do

I’m hopelessly devoted to you.”

I’ll NEVER LOVE AGAIN:

“When we first met

I never thought that I would fall

I never thought that I’d find myself

Lying in your arms,

And I wanna pretend that it’s not true

Oh, baby, that you’re gone

‘Cause my world keeps turnin’, and turnin’, and turnin’

And I’m not movin’ on

Don’t wanna feel another touch

Don’t wanna start another fire

Don’t wanna know another kiss

No other name fallin’ off my lips

Don’t wanna give my heart away

To another stranger

Or let another day begin

Won’t even let the sunlight in

No, I’ll never love again.”

Recently, I was told by a very wise healer/intuitive man not to doubt my intuition. I​ knew exactly what he meant.

I have known for most of my life that I am blessed with a gift of spiritual “knowing” and intuition. It’s divine direction and guidance, as the Universe interacts with me through many paths of Higher Communication. In the years of recovery from my prescription drug addiction, and co-occurring mental health disorders, my spiritual connection is stronger than ever. My senses are in a heightened state of awareness and receiving. I am blessed to be fully awake to experience all of the beautiful and meaningful moments of life, as well as those I am made aware of beyond my physical limitations. 

A recent spiritual encounter happened in January, 2020, where I was shown very specific information. I had been missing an ex who had been my love for a very long time—and at this time, although we kept in touch intermittently, we had been apart for two years to be exact due to our breakup in January, 2018, after being together for three years. Steve and I had been madly in love, living together most of the time and about to move in permanently, and we were engaged (what we considered the equivalent of marriage) but we both brought unhealed trauma into our current relationship that made it painful and difficult to navigate. Many times we would inadvertently be triggered by each other, and each time it became more difficult to recover. We sought short term therapy to no avail. We separated on January 13, 2018. We were both seriously heartbroken. Neither of us had the tools at that time that are truly needed to navigate our differences selflessly where we must practice self care, as well as care for our beloved at the same time. Neither of us had healed enough yet from previous stress and trauma, and each time we differed, it drained us both of our energy. Spirit had been reassuring me all along that Steve, and I, would for certain find our way back to each other. Steve would intermittently keep in touch, and we would profess our love for each other. I would send him love energetically multiple times a day, and I could feel him intuitively receiving my love. However, we must always live by Divine timing. I could feel the deep loving, spiritual energy between my love and I every day. Not once did I doubt that at the perfect time as the Universe coordinated this reunion, Steve and I would find each other again, and that led by Spirit, we would know at that time if we were meant to be together for a season, or a lifetime. I knew we would forever be connected energetically steeped in love, guided by the Divinity within us, and always blessed by Spirit to have shared love, time and space, even if it were to be temporary.  Just two days ago as of this writing, in January 2020, the synchronicities and messages from Spirit became so clear that Steve and I would be brought together on January 17, 2020. These clear signs were exactly what I had envisioned and believed with certainty. 

I share this often in my book because it has deep meaning to me… A Course in Miracles says, “Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety.” This became my mantra over the years. Although I missed Steve terribly, I was certain of the outcome of at least seeing him once again. I was also prepared to let him go if Spirit communicated that would be in our highest blessings. I would trust the process. I would trust that God/Spirit/Universe knows what would serve us at this time in our lives, both of us being in our 60s, and perhaps in different places in our lives that were not in alignment. I would wait for that information. I lived my life every moment to the fullest, in joy, in the present moment, with family, friends, and work, waiting with a full expectation of a miracle for us to meet again, whether for a short time, or if it would be our “always and forever.” 

Steve had come into my life in December, 2014, not quite two years into my recovery. He was there to guide me, and to cheer me on during so many life lessons and Divine learning experiences. I always said he was the smartest man I know, and I know that he loved me deeply, and I him. I valued his insight and life wisdom. He used to call me a “butterfly.” I broke out of the darkness of my cocoon , and wings in tow, I was free…as a butterfly. 

When we would awaken in the morning, he would smile that beautiful smile with that gorgeous dimple and say, “Good morning, sunshine!” And, as he kissed me goodbye at the door as I left for work as a Recovery Specialist at the Mental Health Association, he would always say, “Go save lives.” He was so proud of me, and the work that I was doing. When I returned home, he’d say, “How was your day, and don’t leave out any details!” Steve was my best friend, and the love of my life. He could make me laugh like no other. We had a special prayer that we prayed every morning, and even when we were in different physical locations, we would pray together over the phone. I have never loved so deeply before, and certainly, not since. I am at peace knowing that I had a true love experience, and I enjoy my life, solo, with my family and friends, and my career, no longer seeking another love. My experience of this love, especially one that Steve and I know was Divinely orchestrated, is irreplaceable. I do not seek to even try to replace it. And, I am so deeply grateful for the experience. Through this Divinely orchestrated love, I learned so much about my true capacity to love another, only in the name of love. Steve was my soulmate, my “blood flame,” my Twinflame, my family, my best friend, my confidant, my love.

As the day went on January 17, 2020, the signs, through the Universe/God/Spirit, became deafening in a beautiful and reassuring way. Through music, through other’s words, and through my intuition. I had been invited by my friends Jason and Ann to attend a music event. I “knew” that Steve would be there. I could feel it in my gut. Our song, “At Last” had been playing throughout the last week more than usual followed by a “theme” of “reunion” music offering information through this music, and a week prior, a car had passed me on my way home from work with the license plate “Atlast2.” Steve’s name, first and last, continued to reveal itself to me, and our number 555 as well. Daily signs, messages, synchronicity from Spirit showed up. I was beyond excited. I longed to see my love again.

As I pulled into the venue to meet Jason and Ann, I heard our song play on Pandora. I also asked the Universe on my drive there to show me our number (Steve’s birth month and birth year) for further validation, and as I pulled up to the light before the venue, a truck pulled alongside of me with a license plate with the last three numbers 555! Then, as I said thank you to Spirit and started to get very emotional, loud sirens began to blow right where I was driving. In the past, Spirit has made loud declarations in this way! It has been my sign of validation of Spirit’s communication. I was getting so excited! I could not wait to see Steve. I was experiencing that “certainty and knowing!” It was thrilling! We hadn’t seen each other in so long! As I was about to get out of my car at the venue, through my rear view mirror, I could see a car began to back up into the space next to me. It was dark, but I could see the license plate and make of the car, and my heart began to race with excitement. I got out of my car, and there was Steve behind the wheel! He saw me, looked shocked, and motioned for me to approach. I actually felt lightheaded and began to feel faint as I approached my beloved. In fact, I think I lost my balance for a moment! I was nervous and excited at the same time. Everything that I “knew” to be true and that I was certain of through spiritual communication had come to fruition. I had dreamed about, and prayed for this day. 

That night was a reminder and validation that everything that I feel and believe energetically and spiritually is a manifestation of my positivity, my beliefs, and my gorgeous spiritual practice that keeps me connected to the truth through the loving guidance of the Universe/God/Spirit. Steve and I danced, we flirted, and we hugged. With us, our deep soul love, we don’t need words to feel the love. We are love, and in love with each other, and it is palpable to us and to anyone in our company. Steve and I both have said that we have never truly been in love before we met. A first for both of us. 

Although Spirit eventually revealed to me in May, 2020, that my love and I were only fated for a season, I trust that there is a Divine blessing in this separation. I may never know what that is, but my faith is so strong, that I “know” it is in both Steve and my highest blessings. We have been so blessed to have found each other and to share the time and experiences that we had enjoyed as a couple, and with our beautiful children, and grandchildren. Even when people leave our lives physically, love always keeps them close in memory, and in matters of the heart. Steve Roman, you will have a piece of my heart, always and forever. May God always bless you and your beautiful family. God always has the last word, so I take comfort in that. 

I love you, always and forever.

“This is all I know, so far.”

QUOTES AND THOUGHTS ON ENVISIONING AND SPIRITUAL SIGNS

We co-create our masterpieces. Envision it daily, stand firm in a spiritual practice that resonates with you, believe with certainty all that you know, and wait patiently in excitement and certainty. Communication with Spirit is my most treasured time of each and every day, even if the message doesn’t align with my desires because I am certain that Spirit is demonstrating unconditional love that which I have never before experienced. Unwavering faith. This is my grounding principle to the foundation of my wellness. 

Every artist excitedly memorializes their art and yearns to share its beauty and message. Each morning I sit and reflect and I meditate and pray for divine guidance for the day. As each detail is revealed to me and my “knowing” and intuition are validated, I add another tile to my mosaic as I continue to see my vision come to life. I record each and every beautiful stroke as the tiles continue to tell a story. My story. The story that began with a troubled soul like a caterpillar in the darkness of a cocoon, that has now evolved into a magnificent butterfly flying freely and experiencing abundance through the Divine. I’m living in blissful harmony, always in the present moment, and stopping to smell all of the flowers along the way. I am connected to the Universe, always with my loved ones in my heart. We’re connected soul to soul, no matter where we are in the physical realm. My intuition guides me. Spirit is always my guide. This book, is my recorded masterpiece.

Through Kything, a communion skill, a spirit-to-spirit loving presence which can bring about a deep sense of peace, I connect to my loved ones. I offer them an expression of my love and support, and let them know I am always with them through the flowing energy of the Universe. 

My artwork, my writing, is a reflection of my soul. It has expression that reveals inner beauty and rich and vibrant color with a stillness that offers energy and healing from the cracks that once broke my foundation. Those cracks are now barely visible to others, yet are always a part of my tapestry. They are a reminder that Isurvived, even with all of the cracks in my foundation. I am always renovating, and yes, sometimes, even rebuilding.

My walk has purpose. I’m not always certain of the path, yet I know where I am headed, one slow and purposeful step at a time. I am never afraid as I walk along my spiritual path, and I am always certain that I am never alone.

Our perspective is what we choose to see. Our willingness to see beyond our limiting beliefs allows us to create the opportunity to reorganize and reassign our energy to awaken to new ideas and new solutions. 

Simply state what you desire. Envision it in color. You draw the sketch and allow the Universe to fill in the details. Then wait patiently with faith. A masterpiece cannot be rushed. And when it has been completed and you have reached your destination, perhaps only then, do we understand the journey.

What do you envision? Are you open to Divine communication?

What do you see and hear when you look beyond your physical limitations? 

What does your masterpiece look like? Using descriptive words, write your blueprint, and include the details of how your spiritual practice helped you to “see” and to be certain of the outcome. Signs? Intuition? Events? Synchronicity? Music? Technology? Write them down.

Is there a spiritually orchestrated relationship or situation that you have recently experienced? What did you learn through this experience? What is your takeaway?

You may want to start your own “Spiritual Log” to document your experiences to be shared to inspire others to Write Pray Recover!

_______________________________________________________________________________

Today, I completed the final edits on my book and have submitted for publishing.

My excitedly anticipated book, WRITE PRAY RECOVER:A JOURNEY TO WELLNESS THROUGH SPIRITUAL SOLUTIONS AND SELF CARE is tentatively set for publication by Christmas, 2021!

Please check back for updates, and upcoming free giveaways!

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

A SPIRITUAL WARRIOR – LOVE, WENDY

We must “update” our thinking through truthful self-reflection, and deep soul work, which is how we continue to evolve. We look for connection and meaningful conversation as a constructive tool in resolving conflict and healing, rather than infecting ourselves with anger and frustration. This may be an opportunity to learn, to grow, and to share. This is what I think of as a true spiritual awareness, and awakening…that of a spiritual warrior.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

EXCERPT FROM MY UPCOMING BOOK:WRITE PRAY RECOVER:A JOURNEY TO WELLNESS THROUGH SPIRITUAL SOLUTIONS AND SELF CARE-“WHEN YOU BELIEVE:SPIRITUAL STRENGTH THROUGH THE LENS OF PURE SPIRIT”

“I do feel called to my loving angels and guides, and I believe that when we ask for this relationship, the Universe offers us more love, connection, peace, and joy than we ever dreamed possible. When you remain aligned with the Universe and stay grounded deeply in faith, dreams do come true, and prayers are answered, all in the appropriate timing that the Universe deems “on time.”

When we stay in faith,​ if this is something that resonates, then just ask for your angels to provide you with information that helps you to navigate in your best interest and highest blessings, and that which will protect you. These will be signs that you will completely understand without any doubt, and they will reveal themselves through information, conversations, music, numbers, readings, and a variety of other modalities. This includes simultaneous synchronicities through text messages, emails, through a conversation between others that we may overhear, and any other way that these beautiful Spirits can get your attention. Ask them for a clear sign that only you would understand as a validation of this Divine relationship and presence, and pay close attention. God/Spirit/Universe speaks to us in the most curious yet direct ways, especially when He has been trying to reach us, to no avail, to save our life.

In 2012, I was using prescription drugs heavily, and had been for quite some time. I was barely able to stay awake, or function in a normal capacity, daily. I had been getting strong intuitive messages that I would die if I kept going at the rate of ingesting 2,000 plus pills a month. I just could not stop. I loved being high. There it is…my truth. I did not have to deal with any of the chaos, the noise in my head, the fear, the shame, the memories, the dysfunction that my then husband and I were going through, or face all of the decades of trauma that I had suppressed that often flashed in front of me, triggering my anxiety, fear, and deeper depression. I had absolutely zero coping skills other than my pills, and self harming behaviors.

I always worried obsessively about how many pills I had left…in my purse, and in the house. I would count them over and over and over again, separating them into piles and then figuring out how many days of pills I would have. My mind was deeply unwell, with my brain now hijacked by the toxic substances that I was ingesting. I was living in a completely altered state of mind which stood as my only reality through my drug induced perception. I would ask myself numerous times an hour, “Should I take a few less today? Should I try to skip a dose and hoard away some of them “just in case?” 

“Let me count them again, and while I count, I’ll just pop a couple more pills so that I will feel really calm, and high. Count, and swallow. Count and swallow. Hide them underneath all of my clothes in the back of my drawer. OK, now I need to think up another excuse to tell the “doctor,” (the addiction psychiatrist enabling me for over a decade with more than 2,000 pills a month, now no longer a licensed physician) and the pharmacy as to why I need a refill on the 500-600 Codeine pills they had just filled a week ago, and I need to sound very weak, which in fact, I was from popping way too many pills. My body was “dying,” which was my intention. I did not know how to live, and so in my mind, dying would be my only solution. I had even visited my attorney at the time, and listed every person in my life leaving them my cherished possessions. I was so ready. It became my norm. 

The “doctor” and pharmacy always, always, always, gave me whatever I said I needed. I was calm now for the moment until I got down to about half a bottle of pills. Sometimes, even though I didn’t like alcohol, just to enhance the effects of the pills so that I wouldn’t need to take them again too soon to feel high and numb, I would take a shot of Amaretto. Not often, but in truth, I did.

So, one day in the fall of 2012, I drove down to the pharmacy after speaking with the pharmacist on the phone who told me to “come down” and it would be ready. Hurricane Sandy was slated to come through our area, and so I wanted to make sure that I had plenty of pills in case we lost power, or streets were blocked and I couldn’t get to the pharmacy. It was October 29, 2012. 

It is said that when God wants to get your attention He taps you on the shoulder. If you do not respond, He then gets close and whispers in your ear. Still no response? He hits you right over the head. 

Amen…

The wind driven rain was blowing across the highway as I drove home from only a mile down the road from my home, the wind was howling, and as I turned off of Route 304 and into my driveway, I pushed the button resting in my driver’s side visor to open my garage door from the inside of the car so that I could just pull in and stay dry. The garage opened, I pulled in, closed the garage door using the button that had opened it, walked through the door that goes from the garage into my downstairs family room, and within 3 seconds…1, 2, 3, I heard this loud crash right outside that shook the entire ground and the house. The lights went out. My precious ShiTzu, Max, ran into my arms, and my heart was beating so loudly and fiercely, that I could hear it beating in my ears and felt my chest filling with fright.

Three trees had crashed down to the ground at the top of our driveway taking the telephone poll and wires down with it where I had just come down less than 20 seconds before.

God had indirectly “hit me over the head.” I believe that day, that event was Divinely orchestrated because God had desperately been trying to get my attention for years, to no avail. Those trees and telephone poll and wires were the closest thing He could use to actually “hit me on the head” in order to get my attention. Had I turned into that driveway just a few seconds later, I would have been killed. God/Spirit/Universe took that opportunity to let me know that He meant serious business. Either I get help, or my death would be imminent. I had to ask for help. God/Spirit/Universe only helps those who willingly ask for help. Help is not forced upon us. 

I was trapped in the house, with my precious pup, Max. I couldn’t get my car out of the garage. There was no power and I was too weak to open that heavy door on my own. I passed out, as usual, from all of the pills, and slept through until morning. I picked up Max in my arms and stood out on the deck of my backyard and screamed as loud as I could chanting, “Please help me! I am trapped!” There were no neighbors on either side of me, and the closest houses were quite a distance from where I was standing on the deck. 

My husband and I were going through a divorce, although it was Alan who I ultimately called with about 5% left on my battery of my phone, and he came to help me, and Max.

I was so unwell and did not have the presence of mind that I needed to ask for help until about 5 months later. But I finally did on April 3, 2013.

God saved my life that stormy October day in more than one way. He prevented me from becoming a near casualty of the storm in order to remind me that He was present and all I needed to do was to ask for help to save my life. It was my awakening moment of clarity. 

God/Spirit/Universe spoke to me so clearly that day and I completely understood after that incident what He was saying to me. I just needed time to find the courage to speak my truth, to tell someone that I needed help because I was so unwell and very close to dying, and to tell my family and my children this awful secret that I had been keeping for forty years. Dying to be reborn and to start again. 

And as the saying goes, “There before the Grace of God go I.” It is always God’s love and guidance that gives me strength. I know that I am never alone, and that everything that happens, is designed by Him for my highest blessings. My life was saved. Yes, this is my highest blessing where I now have the opportunity, through God/Spirit/Universe’s loving guidance to serve others living with this disease, and not to mention being given the priceless opportunity to create a new and healthy life for myself, to truly live my life joyously, healthy, and productively with a renewed and deeper relationship to Spirit, to create a new legacy for myself, for my precious adult children, and for my granddaughters, and to experience a profound love of self. As the song says, “There can be miracles when you believe.”

So blessed.

Being aware of Divine experiences that are provided for us, placed right on our path to learn a life lesson that is pure Spirit, affords us the opportunity to connect more deeply, to be guided by our loving Universe for our highest blessings, to learn, to grow, to evolve, and to mindfully change the trajectory of our dis-ease and dis-order to wellness. Wellness is where we stand in our power.

Wellness is always offered to us, and it is always our choice to experience wellness, if we are willing to hear and to see beyond our physical limitations as we are led by Spirit.

Just ask. You will always receive.

“Who knows what miracles you can achieve when you believe.

You will when you believe…Just believe.”

Forever…

Amen.

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

MIDLIFE – LOVE, WENDY

“When we reach an age of midlife, many are set in the ways that they have become accustomed to, and sometimes these routines/habits and/or expectations have even become ingrained into their lives as a default.

So, when we are a single “midlifer” it can be challenging to meet the perfect match life partner.

Integrity, vulnerability, truthfulness and transparency out of the gate, fearlessness in loving fully and taking risks, and the willingness to be flexible offers a connection that has the potential to thrive and to stay the course.

Someone once told me that if I were willing to bend, I wouldn’t break…

Amen…

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

ONE AND ONLY – LOVE, WENDY

If we are blessed to experience love at least once in our lives, that love becomes a permanent part of our heart. It can never be replaced by another. Yet, we go forward when our season has ended, carrying it with us…planted firmly in our heart…in our soul…in our mind. It remains palpable within us.

We must continue on our journey forward and look ahead to remain aware of what, and who lies ahead so that we create new experiences…so that we do not remain stuck in the past. And, we can always glance back to connect with our soul, where we close our eyes for a moment to recall that one and only.

Love is permanently woven into the fabric of our tapestry.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

AS I GROW FORWARD – LOVE, WENDY

I no longer stand stuck. I take baby steps as I grow forward. I take a spiritually aligned action with an open heart and mind on a clear path.

And, I remind myself that God/Spirit/Universe does not need my help, and so I listen as I walk upon my path for Divine direction.

I have no expectations of this experience, and my mind is set in an equanimity mindset.

“Whatever is meant to be will never pass me by.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

The “I Am Grateful For” Mindset – Love, Wendy

Once we make peace with our reality, our perspective shifts from a mindset of “I wish I had,” to a mindset of “I am so grateful for.”

I always remind myself that where I am, what I am doing, and who is in my life is God’s intention.

I have learned never to question God/Spirit/Universe’s direction because I am certain that whatever experiences I am experiencing, are for my highest blessings.

At the end of each chapter, one way or the other, there is always a beautiful resolution. I sometimes don’t understand the resolution until much later when I finally have an “AHA!” moment, and it is then that I realize, once again, that the Universe scooped me up and re-directed me back onto my spiritually aligned path. A Divine crossroads moment.

When the 11th hour comes to pass, I’ve learned never to waiver in my faith. God/Spirit/Universe is simply giving me a few extra minutes to observe where I am in that moment, before I am lifted to a higher blessing. The “I am grateful for” mindset experience.

We must always take a quick glance around in gratitude of being right where we are standing in that moment before we move into the next chapter.

A real “page turner.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

Excerpt And “Reviews” From My Upcoming Book: Write Pray Recover : A Journey To Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions And Self Care – Love, Wendy

Excerpt From Introduction:

“During my active addiction, I was able to manipulate a handful of doctors, and one pharmacy, to pre- scribe in excess of 2,000 pills a month that nearly took my life quite a few times, the last time being in early 2013. I have learned that I am responsible for my choices in life. However, when I was beyond incoherent and knocking at death’s door, where were the doctors and this pharmacy? They were not there trying to save my life. They continued to prescribe a lethal amount of pills. Whatever I wanted, in any amount that I wanted. No questions. No fuss. No regard for my life. How did they get away with this type of reckless behavior? Back when I was in active disease, medication dispensing was not monitored the way it is today. However, even today, there are still so many reckless prescribers that are getting away with murder, sometimes in the literal sense.

I have learned that Substance Use Disorder is a chronic and progressive brain disease, and is re- lated to our DNA, our genetic “family tree,” and is also impacted by our environment. It is diag- nosable, treatable, and manageable. Recovery and wellness is spectacular when you work it, but you have to want it and crave it more than you crave anything else. I knew I would have to be willing to begin new healthy practices, and most of all, to address the PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) that I had been diagnosed with in relation to the trauma I had endured, ongoing, in my youth, and in my 20s, and 30s. I wanted to live. I wanted wellness. I crave wellness. I crave new and innovative ways of a natural and organic solution to any health challenge that I have. I have learned to live and to thrive holistically, and that is what I am doing—thriving!

We are depending upon our medical community to take care of us according to the oath they have taken as doctors, pharmacists, and healthcare providers. Yet, not one doctor whose care I was under questioned me about any suspicions they may have had. When I finally asked for help on April 3, 2013, my primary care physician said he had “suspected” that I was addicted to my medications. Yet, he had never confronted me in all of the years I was his patient. I do not blame him. In fact, today, and for all of the years in my recovery, he has been one of my greatest cheer- leaders. Much of the medical community lacks the knowledge, awareness, and education on this disease. Many that I speak to in the medical community are willing to be educated and empow- ered so that they may be a part of the solution in fighting this disease.

The Hippocratic Oath that healthcare professionals swear to says they will “practice medicine honestly.” Furthermore they will “maintain the highest principles of moral, ethical and legal con- duct.” Wouldn’t Hippocrates be shocked at the way so many of our healthcare professionals, and the way our healthcare system, have become not only dishonest, but full of reckless behavior that is endangering the members of our society, even killing them? WHERE IS THEIR ACCOUNT- ABILITY? Well, in my story, the doctor writing the prescriptions with absolutely no regard for my well-being will never be able to harm, or nearly kill, another precious soul. He was a drug addiction “specialist,” and psychiatrist. He is no longer practicing medicine as I filed a complaint in 2014, and his license was permanently revoked in September 2018. These prescriptions were all filled at the same pharmacy, who in my opinion, was as equally reckless in dispensing the medications as the physician writing the prescriptions.

Below is a snapshot of the pharmacy records from March 4, 2009 through April 22, 2009. I re- ceived the following prescriptions and I filled all twenty prescriptions at the same pharmacy. I
had been using this pharmacy for twenty-plus years. We were like “family,” and they never in- tervened to try to save my life.

*03/04/09 IBUPROFEN 800MG QTY: 50 *03/04/09 DONNATOL 16.2MG QTY: 100

*03/06/09 HYDROMORPHON QTY: 4MG *3/6/09 CODEINE SULF 60MG QTY: 350 *03/06/09 TRIMETHOBENZ 300MG QTY: 50

*3/10/09 CYCLOBENZAPR 10MG QTY: 90 3/12/09 CHLORD/CLIDI 5-2.5MG QTY: 90

*3/19/09 CODEINE SULFATE 60MG QTY: 400 *3/19/09 ALPRAZOLAM 2MG QTY: 150 3/19/09 PROCRIT 20,000/ML QTY: 6

*3/20/09 IBUPROFEN 800MG QTY: 50 *3/23/09 HYDROMORPHON 4MG QTY: 90

*4/1/09 IBUPROFEN 800MG QTY: 50

*04/02/09 HYDROMORPHON 4MG QTY: 90 *04/02/09 ALPRAZOLAM 2MG QTY: 100

*04/06/09 DONNATOL 16.2MG QTY: 100 *04/06/09 TRIMETHOBENZ 300MG QTY: 50

04/11/09 FLUTICASONE 50MCG QTY: 16 04/11/09 CHLORPROMAZ 25MG QTY: 30

*04/12/09 CODEINE SULF 60MG QTY: 400

*04/18/09 IBUPROFEN 800MG QTY: 50

*04/22/09 HYDROMORPHONE 4MG QTY: 90

*04/22/09 ALPRAZOLAM 2MG QTY: 150 *04/22/09 IBUPROFEN 800MG QTY: 50

* Signifies the same doctor writing prescriptions. I came very close to death a number of times, and finally took what would have been a fatal overdose in early 2013. My life was saved on April 3, 2013, by the grace of God.

I am a mother, grandmother, counselor, friend, teacher, human being and precious soul. My accountability of the amount of pills that I was ingesting and the behaviors caused by the substance abuse ceased when I was incoherent and no longer in charge of my faculties, when I was living with paranoid delusions in a drug-induced psychosis. I believed my husband was trying to kill me, that he was involved in heinous murders, that people were spying on me through my computer and stereo speakers, and that T.V. shows that I was watching were using my name to talk to me directly, and where I answered them. I shared all of this with the “addiction psychiatrist” to no avail. He wrote it down, but never questioned me further, and in fact, many times toward the end of my active addiction before my overdose in early 2013, I never went to his office because I was so ill. He just called the pharmacy with refill after refill any time I made a request. The pharmacy filled each one as I paid cash which reduced the risk of being “caught” by authorities. The pharmacist used to say, “Pay me cash so I don’t have to put it through the system.” And I did.

I could not think about anything but making sure I had enough drugs in my purse and in my home every day. I ate, slept and breathed drugs, continuing to self-medicate to escape the memories and pain of the trauma suffered earlier in my life where I had experienced domestic abuse and sexual abuse as an adolescent. Some of that abuse continued into my adulthood. It was all that I knew and saw in my own immediate family. We live what we learn. It felt familiar to me. It was “home” to me. I was using so many opiates and benzodiazepine medications over the years that I needed more and more to get that calm and high feeling. My tolerance level was so high, dangerously high.

In 2006, an immediate family member at that time said to me after years of living with me in my chronic and progressive disease (not fully realizing it was the addiction), “Don’t you see what a burden you are to myself and to your children?” (This was while I was immobile, unable to eat, heavily into my pills, sleeping and crying excessively, and the doctors were giving up on me.) Again, not one doctor had any idea that I was living with Substance Use Disorder and a mental illness being induced by the pills. I also lived with a serious eating disorder, where I lay on the bathroom floor locked in their for hours every day and/or falling asleep overnight, and took six enemas a day, abused diuretics, and barely ate any substantial food as I was afraid of gaining weight. I lived with suicidal thoughts/behaviors and self-harming behaviors. Due to the severity of my self-harm, I wound up in the hospital for emergency surgery for a partial hysterectomy at age 42. I caused myself, purposefully, to bleed by abusing birth control pills. I wanted to bleed because I felt I deserved to feel the pain of the severe cramps and wanted to see blood. It was self-punishment for decades of abuse through no fault of my own. I wanted attention, to be “loved,” and believed that the only way to get that attention was to be sick. This was a lesson I learned as a child. I blamed myself for so much, I worried about my mother, my father, my sister, and in addition, I had no one that I could tell about the sexual abuse, which I now know was nev- er my fault. I was ultimately diagnosed with adenomyosis, where I had ongoing, heavy vaginal bleeding, and I was sent to the hospital for emergency surgery, and of course, discharged from the hospital with more painkillers. I could not get off this merry-go-round. No matter how many pills I swallowed, I could not rid myself of the emotional or physical pain I was experiencing, and the truth is, this pain followed me from the time I was a young child until I went into treatment in early 2013. I wanted to remain in a completely numbed state, until I did not.

As for the domestic abuse that I lived through as a young girl, and again as a young woman and young mom, I received some counseling short- term and was prescribed antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds, but never truly unearthed all of the dirt piled up in my cellular structure that was planted there due to the severe trauma. We know that when we suffer trauma, it seeps into our cellular structure. The energy of the trauma is stored in our bodies’ tissues (primarily muscles and fascia) until it can be released. This stored trauma typically leads to pain and progressively erodes a body’s health. Any area of our bodies that our brains are disconnected from won’t be able stay healthy or heal itself. I was never given the opportunity to release the severe ongoing trauma that plagued my body, mind and spirit. My brain disconnected from the reality of the trauma for self-protection, and I self-medicated for four decades to stay in a constant state of euphoria and inebriation so that I wouldn’t have to face the memories, or the work needed to relive the trauma, to work through it, to accept it, and to release it. I was always terrified to talk about the traumatic events with anyone because I feared having a complete mental breakdown that I would never recover from. At the very thought of verbalizing all that I had seen and experienced, my heart rate would increase, and I would shake throughout my body. I would immediately have to run into the bathroom because I would have diarrhea as an instantaneous reaction to my thoughts and memories. I’d become short of breath and feel numbness and tingling in my face, arms and legs. I never felt safe, so I continued to repress all of my feelings, emotions, and memories.

Even when writing this book, my editor, after the first edit, told me that I was “holding back details,” and in order to connect with the reader, would need to go back and rewrite with specifics. This very task caused me, once again, triggers that escalated my anxiety, however, because I have done so much work on healing, I surrounded myself with my self- care tools each time I would sit down to rewrite. At my desk, I keep my essential oil diffuser, my Himalayan salt lamp, my Buddha’s Blend tea, my music, and I take frequent breaks to walk outdoors. Self-care is the actions that we take to achieve wellness, and wellness is where we stand in our power!

The family member who referred to me as a “burden” in 2006 did not know how to help me, and talked me into taking my life with a bottle of 500 codeine sulfate pills that I had in my possession after I had just received my refill. I was incoherent and not in a lucid mindset, in a helpless and hopeless, vulnerable mindset, and I felt guilty about what my family was going through. I did not know who to ask for help for my SUD at that time, and saw no other way out, and so I agreed.

I wrote goodbye letters to my children, and gave the letters to this person. We said our goodbyes, and he went into the living room to await my passing. As I lay there with a bottle of pills in my hand, unable to walk without assistance, unable to eat due to my serious digestive issues, unable to think clearly due to my addiction to these pills, and a co- occurring mental illness, I was about to end my life. I wanted to die only because I couldn’t see a way out to live, and I had no support. I didn’t really want to die. I just didn’t know how to live, and I feared facing the untreated, very painful, existing trauma without being high.

It was the thought and visualization of my children standing over my coffin that stopped me from taking those pills, and years later, in early 2013, after awakening from a lethal overdose, my children and the thought of them once again standing over my coffin, heartbroken and possibly unable to recover, is what gave me the strength to ask for help to save my life. I wanted to change the trajectory of my legacy. I was able to have that awareness in a moment of Divine Intervention in between swallowing handfuls of pills.

I prayed to God to help me out of my pain and my Substance Use Disorder, to show me the way out. In early 2013, after awakening from my overdose, I promised God that “I will follow any path that You put before me to help others living with this disease.” My prayer was answered. I kept my promise.

I am now in my 9th year of recovery. Today is June 4, 2021.

About a year into my recovery, I said to the family member who encouraged me to die by sui- cide, “You wanted me to kill myself, and look at me now.”

His only response was, “I know.” I never got an apology. I’m fine with that as he was unable to connect emotionally, and I am aware that he saw no other way out for any of us. He himself lacked the coping skills. I hold no ill will. He did all that he knew how to do at that time with the tools that he had available to him. He was probably terrified, watching me slowly dying over the years. Beyond all doubt, I know, in his own way, he loved me. We all deal with pain, suffering, loss, and disease with the tools that we have at hand, and we do the best that we can.

By the grace of God, I survived.”


“Book Reviews” to Be Printed on the Back Cover of the Book!

“With grace, love, and authentic voice, Wendy Blanchard not only brings you through her (on-going) process of Recovery, but offers accessible solutions and practical tools for ours.  She moves beyond traditional “talk therapy” and mutual aid to an emphasis on self-care, somatic, holistic methods and deepening a connection to spirit.  WRITE PRAY RECOVER is a must read for people in recovery, family members in recovery, and health care practitioners, as a guide to helping ourselves as we help others. ”

Theresa M. Knorr, CARC
BALANCE Recovery Consultation | Tai Chi for Recovery
Director of Education and Training, Friends of Recovery – New York

“I have witnessed in amazement at the courage, stamina and determination that Wendy Blanchard has demonstrated in her journey to recovery.  She is an outstanding role model for anyone struggling with addiction and has utilized everything that she has learned about addiction to aid in her recovery.  It has been a heartwarming journey that will inspire those who read her book”.

Mignyetta C. Ramnani, LCSWR
Within Reach Counseling Services

“Thank you so much for last night’s program. It was raw and downright emotional. Sharing your story lets others hear how painful it is to have a loved one with mental health issues and promotes an open dialogue on mental health. Through your professional intuition and guidance, I believe this program was one of the most important workshops our library has ever had.”

Lynne Warshavsky
Events Coordinator
Orangeburg Library

Vulnerability and strength. Steel wrapped in Cotton. Thoughts of the person who I know as Wendy Blanchard. Wendy looks beyond the traditional 12-step recovery program by recognizing that abstinence and relationship with a Higher Power would provide a part of her recovery journey. This courageous and self-aware survivor reaches to the core of her being with a willingness to change everything about herself. Most importantly, she shares her journey openly with grace and respect for the tremendous effort required to adjust one’s narrative. Her message illustrates opportunity in each “Now Moment” as opportunity for growth. I know she is a miracle worker.

Brian Bailey, Lieutenant Colonel, United States Army, Retired
BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

ENGAGEMENT VS COMPLIANCE – LOVE, WENDY

Encouraging one to actively engage rather than insisting on compliance makes one feel proactive about the situation. It allows both parties to be proactive in creating a solution.

When we invite one into this safe space of “we” versus “me,” we can freely process, speak, feel, and create our shared vision through a lens of love, empathy and kindness.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

VICTIM OR VICTOR? – LOVE, WENDY

Recognize your “victim story” and ask yourself how it is serving you. We respond to our present circumstances based upon our level of present consciousness.

When we allow ourselves the space and time to connect with our truth guided by Spirit, we are given the opportunity to completely change the trajectory of our “victim story” to the “VICTOR STORY,” one where we bring ourselves into the present moment and mindfully change our steps and our outcomes that which are spiritually aligned to receive our highest blessings.

Herein lies our power to begin to create change…slowly and strategically, as we raise our vibration where we attract a higher level of consciousness that will serve us in a most positive way.

Victim or Victor? Whichever one you feed becomes your present day consciousness.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

ACCEPTING GRACE – LOVE, WENDY

In recovery, accepting Grace was the catalyst that began my healing. This awakening and awareness that I needed Spirit to save me, to protect me, and to guide me to my highest blessings and healing, daily, is what continues to help me to thrive, and to serve others in Grace.

In each decision that I make, in every direction that I choose, and in all that I share to offer inspiration, encouragement and hope in achieving wellness, is in the power of ACCEPTING GRACE.”

Love, Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

“THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE” AN EXCERPT FROM MY UPCOMING BOOK WRITE PRAY RECOVER: A JOURNEY TO WELLNESS THROUGH SPIRITUAL SOLUTIONS AND SELF CARE – LOVE, WENDY

BRIAN BAILEY…”THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE.”

In order that we experience awareness of others to the extent of connection, and of serving, we must be fully connected to self, and to God/Spirit/Universe. We must authentically live with a heart and mind filled with empathy and logic, remaining steadfast in clear intention, and allow Spirit to guide us. Here is a story of epic awareness…awareness of self, of another, and of Spirit.

Recently, as I read my dear friend, Brian’s Instagram page about his own book being prepared for publishing, my heart filled with so much gratitude and love for my friendship with Brian. We met in 2013, shortly after I began my recovery, and Brian had been attending a 12 step meeting that I decided to give a try. It turned out that the 12 step approach was not for me, and instead, I opted to create, and to follow my own holistic “Wellness Approach to Recovery,” however, Brian was the Divine blessing and gift in my short time of attending these meetings. Spirit brings us all that we need…people, situations, and places in the most creative and healing ways.

Brian’s journey was one of severe childhood abuse and neglect, being imprisoned and sexually trafficked at the age of four years old, needing the protection of Child Protective Services, living in a foster home. Later on, Brian battled addictions, and other challenges which we know are a direct “trauma response.”

Brian and I became fast friends. One of the kindest and sweetest souls I’ve ever met. In the beginning of my own recovery, I was hosting a radio show on Intention Radio on the internet called, “The Rx Diaries,” and my dear friend Brian, in an attempt to help me to succeed in sharing my own story of lifelong prescription drug addiction and co-occurring disorders, as well as to share his own story to help others, agreed to allow me to interview him for my radio show.

His story was almost unbelievable, yet so true, and more common than we know. It was compelling, chilling, awe inspiring, and probably the most frightening account of abuse and neglect of a child that I had ever heard. As I listened to his account, my stomach tightened, my heart was racing, I felt a rush of tears thinking about what my friend had lived through at the hands of the people who were supposed to protect him, and I found myself completely engrossed in this sweet soul’s account of his “childhood.”

Brian and I enjoyed our friendship time together. I went to see him perform locally in “The King and I,” a brilliant performer, and we took my granddaughter, Rosie, out for lunch in our town, as well as spending lots of time texting and talking on the phone, engaging in many, many meaningful, heartfelt conversations. Eventually, after Brian moved to Rhode Island, (I live in New York) we lost touch, yet I always loved my friend, and my heart smiled when he crossed my mind. He had been such a great comfort to me, as well as a loving support, when I felt completely lost in early 2013 just starting out in my recovery.

And then, God/Spirit/Universe, had a “reunion” planned for us one late night in 2018, even though we were living states apart, a reunion that would literally save Brian’s life.

Unable to sleep late one night in 2018, approximately 11:00 PM, restless and uneasy, I tapped my Facebook app to log on to divert my busy mind, and I immediately saw my friend Brian doing a Facebook LIVE. Brian was clearly intoxicated, and he seemed hopeless, helpless, and experiencing suicidal ideation. He was not making any sense, and was escalating in his agitation. He was also clearly delusional. I knew I had a limited window of opportunity to help my dear friend. Brian was spiraling, LIVE in real time. 

He needed help fast. He lived hours away in Rhode Island. I was trying to join him on the LIVE, unsuccessfully, and typing in the LIVE comments as I tried to guide him, and to let him know I was there, to no avail.

Brian was completely oblivious in his mental state and acuity, and was not responding to me. My heart began racing, and all I could do in that moment was to remember my Mental Health First Aid and Suicide Safety training…I’ve taught these steps to hundreds in my work throughout my community…breathe, remain present in order to be clear in stating the facts in order to send for help, and speak confidently. CALL 911. Unfortunately, implementing the ALGEE action plan (Mental Health First Aid-ASSESS for risk of suicide or harm, LISTEN NON-JUDGMENTALLY, GIVE REASSURANCE AND INFORMATION, ENCOURAGE APPROPRIATE PROFESSIONAL HELP, and ENCOURAGE SELF HELP AND OTHER SUPPORT STRATEGIES) associated with my training and education where we attempt to administer Mental Health First Aid until help arrives or until the situation is resolved, was not an option, as I could not reach my friend via phone, Facebook, or text.

I immediately called the police in Brian’s town to assist. I calmly explained what I had just observed on Facebook, and that I was a Recovery Specialist who works in the field of mental health, and asked that they go over to Brian’s home to do a “wellness check.” 

Unbeknownst to Brian, he was about to begin a brand new type of recovery…body, mind and spirit, as I reached out to a friend/colleague who works in the field at a top drug/alcohol/mental health facility in the country…if Brian made the decision to accept the help.

The very next morning, Brian called me while I was at work at the Mental Health Association. He was deeply grateful for my intervention, what we know was “Divine Intervention.” We talked for some time, and I suggested that he allow me to guide him in finding the perfect rehabilitation “fit,” for him so that he could begin a “holistic recovery” through an integrated approach, body, mind, and spirit, aligned with a traditional medical approach. He agreed gratefully.

I stayed close in support of Brian over the next couple of months as he reached out very often to vent, or to talk, or to tell me what he was afraid of as he prepared for treatment. I always took his calls, and checked up on him a few times a week while he awaited an empty bed in the facility. It was like this in every facility. A break down in “supply and demand.” This breakdown was life threatening, so I gratefully stood in as the “transition” until a bed became available. I knew once Brian entered the facility, he would not be allowed to have his phone to continue our communication. I let him know that I would be there in “spirit,” and cheering him on in the background, and praying for his wellness.

Brian is doing so well today, and writing his book so that he may share all that he has experienced in order to serve others. Brian has crawled out of the darkness through Spirit’s light and grace, and now shines his light, also led by Spirit, for others to find their own way.

Here is what he wrote to me in May, 2021.

“EARTH ANGEL! oh. Do I have your permission to tell our story, cause you threw a bouy…my dear!”

What a blessing to have been chosen by Spirit to help my friend in God’s grace. My answer?, “Of course. Anything for you my dear friend.”

Brian went on to thank me for all of the work that I do daily in being of service to those who are living with Substance Use Disorder, and Mental Illness.

“And bravo for the daily work you BE for guiding our future! Not work for the faint of heart! The work ahead requires complete transparency. Vulnerability. And how we lift each other cause sometimes we can’t lift ourselves!”

God/Spirit/Universe guided and used me that night to save Brian’s life. This was the purpose which brought us to cross paths in 2013. And, It was an answer to my daily prayer…

“Today please show me who to see, where to go, what to say, and to whom, to help another person.”

As a matter of routine, I am never up at that late hour, and certainly not on Facebook. I was guided there by our loving Universe. Spirit is always guiding us and using us to serve and support others. If we are open to Divine communication, we are able to see and hear beyond our physical limitations, and truly serve. Humility.

Brian is one of my truest inspirations. What an incredible and brave man and journey. I can’t wait for everyone to hear Brian’s courageous story. 

Love you my dear friend. I am honored to be your friend, and to call you mine, and I’m so grateful to be a part of your story. I cherish our friendship.

Brian’s light is shining once again, and in sharing his story, and in serving others, it becomes brighter and brighter.

My dear Brian, Spirit heard your voice singing, “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine,” and answered on that late night in 2018.

“Faith that perseveres is faith that is strengthened.” And, it is food for the soul.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

A KEEPSAKE – LOVE, WENDY

“It’s not about letting it go, it’s about learning discernment.

Having the capacity to put “it” on a shelf, and to appreciate it for its place and value in the process. Being grateful for it’s purpose on your spiritual journey, and emotional healing, and looking at it every now and then as a reminder of your gorgeous transformation.

A keepsake never to be thrown away.”

Love, Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

EXCERPT FROM MY UPCOMING BOOK:WRITE PRAY RECOVER:A JOURNEY TO WELLNESS THROUGH SPIRITUAL SOLUTIONS AND SELF CARE – LOVE, WENDY

VISION

Recently, I was told by a very wise healer/intuitive man not to doubt my intuition. I​ knew exactly what he meant.

I have known for most of my life that I am blessed with a gift of spiritual “knowing” and intuition. It’s divine guidance, as the Universe interacts with me through many paths of Higher Communication. In the years of recovery from my prescription drug addiction, and co-occurring mental health disorders, my spiritual connection is stronger than ever. My senses are in a heightened state of awareness and receiving. I am blessed to be fully awake to experience all of the beautiful and meaningful moments of life, as well as those I am made aware of beyond my physical limitations. 

A recent spiritual encounter happened in January, 2020, where I was shown very specific information. I had been missing an ex who had been my love for a very long time—and at this time, although we kept in touch intermittently, we had been apart for two years to be exact due to our breakup in January, 2018, after being together for three years. Steve and I had been madly in love, living together most of the time and about to move in permanently, and we were engaged (what we considered the equivalent of marriage) but we both brought unhealed trauma into our current relationship that made it painful and difficult to navigate. Many times we would inadvertently be triggered by each other, and each time it became more difficult to recover. We sought short term therapy to no avail. We separated on January 13, 2018. We were both seriously heartbroken. Spirit had been reassuring me all along that Steve, and I, would for certain find our way back to each other. Steve would intermittently keep in touch, and we would profess our love for each other. I would send him love energetically multiple times a day, and I could feel him intuitively receiving my love. However, we must always live by Divine timing. I could feel the deep loving, spiritual energy between my love and I every day. Not once did I doubt that at the perfect time as the Universe coordinated this reunion Steve and I would find each other again, and that led by Spirit, we would know at that time if we were meant to be together for a season, or a lifetime. I knew we would forever be connected energetically steeped in love, guided by the Divinity within us, and always blessed by Spirit to have shared love, time and space, even if it were to be temporary.  On January 15, 2020, the synchronicities and messages from Spirit became so clear that Steve and I would be brought together on January 17, 2020. These clear signs were exactly what I had envisioned and believed with certainty. 

I share this often in my book because it has deep meaning to me… A Course in Miracles says, “Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety.” This became my mantra over the years. Although I missed Steve terribly, I was certain of the outcome of at least seeing him once again. I was also prepared to let him go if Spirit communicated that would be in our highest blessings. I would trust the process. I would trust that God/Spirit/Universe knows what would serve us at this time in our lives, both of us being in our 60s, and perhaps in different places in our lives that were not in alignment. I would wait for that information. I lived my life every moment to the fullest, in joy, in the present moment, with family, friends, and work, waiting with a full expectation of a miracle for us to meet again, whether for a short time, or if it would be our “always and forever.” 

As the day went on January 17, 2020, the signs, through the Universe/God/Spirit, became deafening in a beautiful and reassuring way. Through music, through others words, and through my intuition. I had been invited by my friends Jason and Ann to attend a music event. I “knew” that Steve would be there. I could feel it in my gut. Our song, “At Last” had been playing throughout the last week more than usual followed by a “theme” offering information through music, and a week prior, a car had passed me on my way home from work with the license plate “Atlast2.” Steve’s name, first and last, continued to reveal itself to me, and our number 555 as well. Daily signs, messages, synchronicity from Spirit showed up.

As I pulled into the venue to meet Jason and Ann, I heard our song play on Pandora. I also asked the Universe on my drive there to show me our number (Steve’s birth month and birth year) and as I pulled up to the light before the venue, a truck pulled alongside of me with a license plate with the last three numbers 555! Then, as I said thank you to Spirit and started to get very emotional, loud sirens began to blow right where I was driving. In the past, Spirit has made loud declarations in this way! It has been my sign of validation of Spirit’s communication. I was getting so excited! I could not wait to see Steve. I was experiencing that “certainty and knowing!” It was thrilling! We hadn’t seen each other in so long! As I was about to get out of my car at the venue, through my rear view mirror, I could see a car began to back up into the space next to me. It was dark, but I could see the license plate and make of the car, and my heart began to race with excitement. I got out of my car, and there was Steve behind the wheel! He saw me, looked shocked, and motioned for me to approach. I actually felt lightheaded and began to feel faint as I approached my beloved. In fact, I think I lost my balance for a moment! I was nervous and excited at the same time. Everything that I “knew” to be true and that I was certain of through spiritual communication had come to fruition. I had dreamed about, and prayed for this day. 

That night was a reminder and validation that everything that I feel and believe energetically and spiritually is a manifestation of my positivity, my beliefs, and my gorgeous spiritual practice that keeps me connected to the truth through the loving guidance of the Universe/God/Spirit. Steve and I danced, we flirted, and we hugged. With us, our deep soul love, we don’t need words to feel the love. We are love and it is palpable to us and to anyone in our company. Steve and I both have said that we have never truly been in love before we met. A first for both of us. 

Although Spirit eventually revealed to me in May, 2020 that my love and I were only fated for a season, I trust that there is a Divine blessing in this separation. I may never know what that is, but my faith is so strong, that I “know” it is in both Steve and my highest blessings. We have been so blessed to have found each other and to share the time and experiences that we had enjoyed as a couple, and with our beautiful children, and grandchildren. Even when people leave our lives physically, love always keeps them close in memory, and in matters of the heart. Steve Roman, you will have a piece of my heart, always and forever. May God always bless you and your beautiful family. God always has the last word, so I take comfort in that. 

We co-create our masterpieces. Envision it daily, stand firm in a spiritual practice that resonates with you, believe with certainty all that you know, and wait patiently in excitement and certainty. Communication with Spirit is my most treasured time of each and every day, even if the message doesn’t align with my desires because I am certain that Spirit is demonstrating unconditional love that which I have never before experienced. Unwavering faith. This is my grounding principle to the foundation of my wellness. 

Every artist excitedly memorializes their art and yearns to share its beauty and message. Each morning I sit and reflect and I meditate and pray for divine guidance for the day. As each detail is revealed to me and my “knowing” and intuition are validated, I add another tile to my mosaic as I continue to see my vision come to life. I record each and every beautiful stroke as the tiles continue to tell a story. My story. The story that began with a troubled soul like a caterpillar in the darkness of a cocoon, that has now evolved into a magnificent butterfly flying freely and experiencing abundance through the Divine. I’m living in blissful harmony, always in the present moment, and stopping to smell all of the flowers along the way. I am connected to the Universe, always with my loved ones in my heart. We’re connected soul to soul, no matter where we are in the physical realm. My intuition guides me. Spirit is always my guide.

Through Kything, a communion skill, a spirit-to-spirit loving presence which can bring about a deep sense of peace, I connect to my loved ones. I offer them an expression of my love and support, and let them know I am always with them through the flowing energy of the Universe. 

My artwork is a reflection of my soul. It has expression that reveals inner beauty and rich and vibrant color with a stillness that offers energy and healing from the cracks that once broke my foundation. Those cracks are now barely visible to others, yet are always a part of my tapestry. They are a reminder that Isurvived, even with all of the cracks in my foundation. I am always renovating, and yes, sometimes, even rebuilding.

My walk has purpose. I’m not always certain of the path, yet I know where I am headed, one slow and purposeful step at a time. I am never afraid as I walk along my spiritual path, and I am always certain that I am never alone.

Our perspective is what we choose to see. Our willingness to see beyond our limiting beliefs allows us to create the opportunity to reorganize and reassign our energy to awaken to new ideas and new solutions. 

Simply state what you desire. Envision it in color. You draw the sketch and allow the Universe to fill in the details. Then you wait patiently with faith. A masterpiece cannot be rushed. And when it has been completed and you have reached your destination, perhaps only then, do we understand the journey.

What do you envision? What do you see when you look beyond your physical limitations? What does your masterpiece look like? Using descriptive words, write your blueprint, and include the details of how your spiritual practice helped you to “see” and to be certain of the outcome. Signs? Intuition? Events? Synchronicity? Music? Technology? Write them down.

You may want to start your own Spiritual Log and document your experiences to be shared to inspire others to Write Pray Recover!

Write Pray Recover:A Journey To Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care is tentatively scheduled to be released in December, 2021!

Please check back often for updates and giveaways!

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

COACHING TRAUMA RESPONSE ACTIVITIES FOR WELLNESS – LOVE, WENDY

Today I choose the following as my trauma response recovery activity to promote healing:

  • A peaceful environment
  • Connection to Spirit through prayer and meditation
  • Trauma Informed journaling for 20 minutes
  • Talk therapy response to wellness goals
  • Walk in nature with calming music
  • Lots of water
  • Gratitude journaling for my abundant blessings
  • Serving others

Through my training, education and lived experience in trauma informed care, I continue strengthening my wellness muscle through spiritual solutions and self care as I continue on my healing journey. Here I choose healthy practices of natural and organic solutions.

Resilience expands as we practice being resilient.

Love, Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

THE PACE AND THE SPACE TO HEAL – LOVE, WENDY

“Healing can only take place when we are willing to look into a mirror, naked, vulnerable and with deep compassion as we connect to our truth.

In this safe space, I remind myself that my healing is a reflection of my self worth.
I am worthy of feeling well. I am worthy of experiencing wellness. I provide for myself the pace, and the space to heal, and to experience my birthright of wellness…

Body, Mind and Spirit.”

Love,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

DIVINE DELAYS ARE A BLESSING – LOVE, WENDY

“Divine delays are directions to pause and allow.

While we wait in a mindset filled with faith, we experience each tiny miracle along the way and this is the whole point of trusting Spirit’s timing.

Experience each tiny experience of the Experience.

Herein lies an energy of gratitude and trust in our loving enlightened Universe which through God’s Divine direction and timing, brings us to our highest level of blessings.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

“A NEW BEGINNING” AN EXCERPT FROM MY UPCOMING BOOK WRITE PRAY RECOVER:A JOURNEY TO WELLNESS THROUGH SPIRITUAL SOLUTIONS AND SELF CARE

A NEW BEGINNING

In early 2013, shortly after I began my recovery from lifelong prescription drug addiction and co-occurring mental health disorders, my son Matthew, and I began a blog and website (no longer online) called The Rx Diaries, where my son designed a platform for me to write about my recovery from Substance Use Disorder and mental illness. He came up with the words: “recovery, rebirth, release,”​ and used a butterfly as the focal point of my logo. No truer words resonated with me. The butterfly is an accurate depiction of my journey. I have broken free from the darkness, abandoned the cocoon, and I am free to live in my truth. 

We have many “rebirths” throughout our lives, and each time, we release what we learn no longer serves us. As we shed that skin, we continue to learn, grow, and evolve, and to remain in a state of ease within our truest and highest self, where we are also able to offer ourselves fully to helping others on their journeys. 

Recovery from anything is ongoing. It is ​a journey, and it is all about what road we choose to travel. There are times when we travel in the darkness and there are times when we hit a roadblock. We must remember that as we remain focused, as we remain in faith, as we remain determined, the sun will ​shine the light on us once again so we may continue on our way home. In those “in between” moments, we learn resourcefulness and resiliency in waiting out the darkness, knowing that the sun will always come out tomorrow. For me, I ​chose​ the road less travelled, yet have never lost my way. I would hear the song, “The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow,” in my head, and continued along the lighted path.

It is said that everyone loves a comeback story. This is especially true for the woman who came back swinging from a life of Substance Use Disorder and co-occurring mental health disorders. The woman with an inspirational story to share that offers hope to others struggling with this disease. A woman that nearly died of this disease in early 2013, but made a comeback through a Divine Intervention moment, a moment of clarity, a moment where I made a decision to look up, pray like my life depended up on it, and it did, and then, in that moment, surrendered. Me, Wendy Blanchard, I wrote, I prayed, I recovered through discipline, determination, and persistence in practicing spiritual solutions and self care…and through these practices, 

WRITE PRAY RECOVER:A JOURNEY TO WELLNESS THROUGH SPIRITUAL SOLUTIONS AND SELF CARE, THIS LABOR OF LOVE THAT I AM SHARING, WAS BORN.

Before we begin, I want to say an extra special, “Thank you,” to my devoted, loving and supportive son, Matthew, who has been my greatest cheerleader, my greatest supporter, encouraging me through every step of my recovery, and for being my best friend. My son is deeply empathetic and compassionate, he says “just like you, mom,” and has forgiven the years of hardship that he endured due to my addiction, mental illness, and the poor choices associated with an unwell body, mind, and spirit. 

All of my children have rallied around me in my recovery with deep love and encouragement, and it is in great part due to their devotion and forgiveness that I have made such extraordinary progress in my wellness. I am finally the mom they deserve to have, and I feel so blessed each time I hear one of my precious children call my by my heartwarming name, “Mom.” I am living up to what this endearing term means to us all…unconditional love, a safe, non judgmental space, providing joyous and meaningful experiences, loving guidance when asked, intermittent unsolicited, well meaning insight, standing beside her children through every storm, and offering choices and solutions, yet allowing her children to make the ultimate decision in their own time as to what is best for them individually, and most importantly, steadfastly standing in the space of love, compassion, peace, and eagerness to live each and every moment with passion and authenticity. It was the thought of my children, Matthew, Nicole, Olivia, and Sarah, and my deep love of my children, in that Divinely led moment, that gave me an indescribable strength to speak my truth in asking for help to save my life. 

Here is my story…

On April 2, 2013, I got ready for bed and in a moment where I had some clarity, I dropped to my knees and asked the Universe/God/Spirit to please help me to save my life. I said, “God/Universe/Spirit, if you show me the way out of this, I will devote my life to any path you put before me.” 

I have always felt a deep spiritual connection to the Universe through music and said to the Universe at the end of my prayer, “In the next song on the radio, please give me a sign that you are with me.” I sat down on the edge of my bed, turned on the radio, and the first song to play was “Jesus, Take the Wheel.” The words touched my heart, and I became so emotional: “Jesus, take the wheel, take it from my hands. I can’t do this on my own. I’m letting go… So give me one more chance. Save me from this road I’m on. Jesus, take the wheel.”

I went to bed knowing that I would soon be given specific guidance from the Universe that would ultimately save my life. I woke up the next morning and I heard a strong intuitive voice say to me, “Call for help. It is time.” I heard this voice tell me that “everything is going to be alright.” I have been listening to that voice ever since. April 3, 2013 was the day that my life was saved by the grace of God.”

The following is the prayer I created in my early recovery. I use this every day to connect to Spirit. Feel free to adapt into your meditation and prayer practice:

Dearest Enlightening and Loving Spirit and Angels of the Highest Blessings,

I see beyond my physical sight when I am present. I hear beyond my physical hearing when I am open. When I allow myself to receive in a loving space, I am limitless. I listen for your words as I ask for guidance each day, and I follow your wisdom. I feel your presence inside of me and all around me that is all encompassing love. I am so grateful to have your loving guidance. Thank you for my divine gift of connection, and for all of my blessings. Please continue to keep me deeply grounded in faith, and show me where to go, who to see, what to say and to whom, to help another soul.

Amen…Sat Nam…And So It Is…

Love and blessings,

Wendy

Please visit my website often for more excerpts and for release date of my book coming in December, 2021!

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

EXCERPT FROM MY UPCOMING BOOK WRITE PRAY RECOVER:A JOURNEY TO WELLNESS THROUGH SPIRITUAL SOLUTIONS AND SELF CARE and RECOVERY SUPPORT INFORMATION – LOVE, WENDY

“Recovery from anything is ongoing. It is ​a journey, and it is all about what road we choose to travel. There are times when we travel in the darkness and there are times when we hit a roadblock. We must remember that as we remain focused, as we remain in faith, as we remain determined, the sun will ​shine the light on us once again so we may continue on our way home. For me, I ​chose​ the road less travelled, yet have never lost my way.

It is said that everyone loves a comeback story. This is especially true for the woman who came back from a life of Substance Use Disorder and co-occurring disorders. The woman with an inspirational story to share that offers hope to others struggling with this disease. A woman that nearly died of this disease in early 2013, but made a comeback.


On April 2, 2013, I got ready for bed and in a moment where I had some clarity, I dropped to my knees and asked the Universe/God/Spirit to please help me save my life. I said, “God/Universe/Spirit, if you show me the way out of this, I will devote my life to any path you put before me.”

I have always felt a deep spiritual connection to the Universe through music and said to the Universe at the end of my prayer, “In the next song on the radio, please give me a sign that you are with me.” I sat down on the edge of my bed, turned on the radio, and the first song to play was “Jesus, Take the Wheel.” The words touched my heart, and I became so emotional: “Jesus, take the wheel, take it from my hands. I can’t do this on my own. I’m letting go… So give me one more chance. Save me from this road I’m on. Jesus, take the wheel.”

I went to bed knowing that I would soon be given specific guidance from the Universe that would ultimately save my life. I woke up the next morning and I heard a strong intuitive voice say to me, “Call for help. It is time.” I heard this voice tell me that “everything is going to be alright.” I have been listening to that voice ever since.

April 3, 2013 was the day that my life was saved by the grace of God.”

NOTE PLEASE!!!!! I am delighted to announce that…

Coming in December, 2021…my book,

WRITE PRAY RECOVER:A JOURNEY TO WELLNESS THROUGH SPIRITUAL SOLUTIONS AND SELF CARE! will be published!

I am so excited to share this labor of love with you based upon my journey of lifelong prescription drug addiction, and my self created WELLNESS APPROACH TO RECOVERY PROGRAM! I’m in my 9th year of recovery, and through my program, my training and education in Mental Health and Substance Use Disorder along with my lived experience, my private practice as a holistic health practitioner, mental health consultant/counselor and recovery specialist, my speaking engagements, my blogs, and my holistic lifestyle using natural and organic solutions, I serve others who ask for my guidance in recovery. I also work as part of the RECOVERY TEAM, chosen by the patient/clients from the traditional medical community.

Inherently, each of us knows what we need to heal from the inside out. I am just the “peer professional guide.” We explore together, we learn together, we grow together and we stand in our power through spiritual solutions and self care practices, and if the patient/client requests a traditional medical professional as a part of the team, we work alongside each other harmoniously to support the patient/client.

For information on my holistic health practice, please email me at wendyblanchard044@gmail.com and write “Recovery Support” in the subject line.

I am offering through June 30, 2021, a free holistic health consultation!

You may also want to visit my health coaching website at www.harmonioushealth4life.com.

“Self care is the actions that we take to achieve wellness and wellness is where we stand in our power!”

Love and blessings

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

I AM AWAKENED EACH DAY BEFORE DAWN – LOVE, WENDY

It is in the early morning hours in deep silence and peace that I spend with God where I can clearly hear all of the answers, and the validation. I can feel the love and I can feel the magnetic connection. It is a time that I express my deepest gratitude for a life filled with blessings. I emerge with a smile in my heart and a full feeling of peace, and what I can only describe as a “knowing and certainly” that Spirit is ever present. My faith is my superpower. It is unwavering.
This is how I prepare my harvest as I clear a space for my abundant blessings each day.

I was recently told to “declutter my surroundings so that my blessings will have the clear space” to softly fall onto my path.

Even in my pain, physically debilitating pain of an untimely Lupus flare, I understand the value of the experience, a blessing as it speaks to me to turn my attention “to my inner space.” Here I am encouraged to practice deeper self care, and it is a reminder to me that Spirit is showing me that my health, my loved ones, and my spiritual connection are my greatest blessings.

The more readily I clear and release the unhealthy people and situations from my path, the more the center of my life becomes filled with more room for wellness to expand, for loved ones to rejoice and thrive with me, and for Spirit to have more room to create.

I did not understand the message originally, and I was told not to be too analytical and logical. My initial response was that all bills are paid, and that my space is spic and span! That is the “over-thinker” in me, as was also pointed out. Somehow, the Spiritual translation was lost upon me.

And this morning, before dawn, as a tsunami of peace and euphoria, and the “re-awakening”washed over me, I completely understood the message.

JUST…

LIKE…

THAT.

When the student is ready, Spirit appears.”

This blog post is dedicated to my beautiful friend, Brett, with deep gratitude for your never ending kindness, patience, and loving support. And, for your very on point Spiritual guidance.

I have cleared the space.

And, so it is.

Thank you.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

BE KIND TO YOUR MIND – LOVE, WENDY

Be kind to your mind. Use affirming, loving declarations and see them as you look into a mirror. See them often. Really look into your eyes, the window to one’s soul. See beyond the physical. Recognize your inner worth, and inner beauty, and the inner strength that you have. Doing this work is courageous. With ease and grace, day by day, you will see your soul more deeply, and fall in love…with YOU.

It’s a journey. There is no rush to reach your destination. Take your time and inhale every blessed experience. Steer the trajectory through your spiritual practice, self-love and self care. Ask Spirit for insight, inspiration and strength. We all have experienced something which has caused us to feel “less than.” It wasn’t about you. It was about them.

We could not see who we could become. The darkness narrowed our view. See now into the light.

You are safe.

Take back your power.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

Please go to my website, www.harmonioushealth4life.com for information on mindfulness strategies to help with relaxation.

#iamsafe #iseemyworth #iambeautiful #onemomentatatime #iloveme #istandinmygorgeouspower #spiritualsolutions #selfcare

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

HUMILITY BEGINS THE HEALING – LOVE, WENDY

“If you are in need of loving support, please do not despair…

It is never too late for finding your humility, to offer a sincere long overdue apology, and to ask for what you know you need in this moment to begin to heal…

Once we recognize that our words and actions have been ill intended, chosen in response to a trigger…to fear and anger…and we feel remorseful, we can choose, in any moment, to redeem ourselves.

Ask yourself if what and whom will offer you healing is worth practicing humility.

Your freedom, your choice.

Love always,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

TAKE A PAUSE – LOVE, WENDY

Take a pause…

The space between your stressors which activates emotions and feelings, and the action that you choose, is in the power of…

The Pause.

Take a Pause…

Ask yourself, “What is the best choice for my highest honor, and that which will bring me peace in this moment?”

And, “What action will promote a healthy resolution?”

Stand in your power.

Opt for a healthy mindset. What we think and feel becomes our actions which becomes the environment which we create.

Ask yourself, “How do I want to feel today? How do I want to be received today? How do I want others around me to feel today?“

Lead by example.

Take a pause.”

Love, Wendy