We’ve got to do better.
We’ve got to take notice of those we engage with, but really stop to ask, “How are you doing?” And it is NOT okay to allow someone else to walk into the conversation and begin a new conversation in the middle of a “check in.” And when we ask another how they are doing, we must be ready and willing to hear an authentic response. If you are just giving a nod of “I see you standing there, how are you?” and you don’t want to actually hear a response, just say “good morning,” and keep moving. Seriously.
We’ve got to do better.
I encounter this daily. Jarring. And if one allows this interruption of a “check in,” especially when they are aware of another’s circumstances, cross them off of your list as a “caring friend/acquaintance/colleague.” If they never ask, “How are you?” in the midst of a challenging time, it speaks volumes about them and their capacity to comfort and to support others. Yet, I witness these same people “vomiting” out all of their woes and expecting one’s undivided attention.
We’ve got to do better.
When I observe others who claim friendship, I assess if that definition aligns with what I believe friendship to be, and what I need in a friend. Reciprocity. Consistency. Empathy. Kindness. “Time sensitive.” Joy. Love. Willing to share.
Giving of one’s time with eye contact, and a touch on the hand or hug can make one’s day. It costs us nothing, but if we feel the price is too high and we are too “busy” in our own head and circumstances, and there is no follow up, you are not a friend.
Friendship is linear. It doesn’t come in waves and only on the upswing.
We’ve got to do better.
And even when we see a stranger pass us by on our daily walk looking down at the ground very obviously in pain, we need to offer a smile. Oh, the smile is so contagious. It has helped me on a number of occasions. And I always reciprocate all that I am given. And give to one in pain when they cannot offer us anything. It is a basic need of the human condition. If you’ve got it, give it away.
One who professes to love us does not allow months to go by without checking in. You cannot “offer a good deed…one and done,” and then fly off of the radar for no apparent reason. We see you living your best life, and yet, not one minute to send a text or an hour to visit to do a friends “check-in.” It negates the “one and done “Good deed.”
Good deed? Not so much. Not from a place of love. This is from a place of “let me boast all over social media what I am doing (one and done) to further fuel my ego. But those of us on the “receiving end” of that “deed” sit awestruck and dumbfounded at one’s need to “be loved and recognized” as a hero.
Not so much. Ego. Ego. Ego.
We’ve got to do better.
So starting today, let us do better. Either engage with meaning, purpose, and friendship, or simply walk on by. It can be an insult to one’s intelligence and feelings to enter into a “drive-by” friendship. Stay in your own lane, or join me on the journey.
We have GOT to do better.
Love,
Wendy
Write Pray Recover 