Dating is optional for me.
My bills are paid. My home is clean and peaceful. My bed is big. Peace already exists in my life. It is non negotiable…I cherish my autonomy…
If you enter my life, bring honesty, integrity, kindness, laughter, and ease.
Anything less does not add value to the life I’ve worked hard to create.
Love,
Wendy
After starting my life over at 54 years old, it took a great deal of courage…
Now, after fourteen years, I have grown into the woman, mother, grandmother, friend, and teacher I choose to be, and I am proud of who I continue to become…”Proud” as in earned…not boastful.
I embrace every opportunity to learn, grow, and keep an open mind and heart. Each day, I look for ways to make someone smile and leave our encounter feeling seen, valued, and cared about…
And I do see you…
By living my truth, celebrating my successes, and learning from the moments that call for a do-over, I continue to shape a life that reflects my values, purpose, and intentions…
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Home is not always a place…
Home can be a state of mind, found in any setting when we are with people who make us laugh, help us feel seen and heard, make us feel safe to just ‘be,’ show up consistently and stay present through life’s ups and downs, and remind us that we are loved…even when we don’t feel lovable.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Love is not a single emotion, even though we try to contain it within one word.
It stretches across countless human experiences. It lives in long-term partnerships where people continue choosing each other through the passing years and decades, not simply existing beside one another. It exists in enduring friendships that can withstand silence and distance, resuming effortlessly without resentment or explanation. It appears in the overwhelming tenderness of a parent watching a sleeping child, a feeling so deep and unguarded it can catch the heart off guard…and the heart of a grandmother that spills over with joy when her granddaughter runs across the room, arms wide open, and jumps up into them.
Love.
There is also the love that remains after loss through divorce or death. This is the quiet love that lingers long after someone is gone, revealing itself in small reflexes and moments of remembering those that only the two of us experienced. Reaching for the phone to share something before realizing they are no longer there is itself an act of continued love. This enduring attachment is not weakness or error, but something profoundly human…
Love.
It is present in a “Good morning, Honey” text, or a text from a neighbor who says, “just checking in. Do you need anything…” and in the excited greeting from a beloved pet, or a friend remembering something small you shared weeks before and calls to ask about how things turned out. It is present when someone takes the time to say, “Have a wonderful day,” or “Drive safely.”
Love is expressed in a co-worker taking the time to stop to ask how you are, and really listening to your response…offering a hug on a day when love feels elusive. It is the moment your FaceTime call comes in from your family or a close friend exactly at the moment you are longing for their presence.
It matters to recognize these forms because love surrounds us far more often than we notice…and in today’s culture and climate…we need to hold onto all of the gifts of love that surround us…in real time…and within our memory…
Notice them…Embrace them…
These moments may seem ordinary, yet they are woven into the fabric of what makes life meaningful…where we are seen and heard.
Many years ago, Steve said these words to me, “I will be your witness.”
LOVE.
Thinkers like Seneca wrote that “a person cannot truly live well by existing only for themselves; to live fully, we must also live for others.”
So love despite the uncertainty. Love despite the inevitability of loss. Choose closeness over emotional distance, presence over self-protection. Allow yourself to care deeply, even knowing the risk, because that willingness to love is part of “witnessing” the most beautiful and meaningful part of one’s life.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Music is one of my greatest lifelines, and moving my body to the songs I love is a kind of euphoria I never want to lose.
Last night, knowing my spinal challenges and Lupus required care, I still got lost in the music—“Hurts So Good” (pun intended). I stood up beside Dan at the restaurant table and began to move with joy and exhilaration…and belting out the lyrics. 🙂
He gently put his arm around my waist and said, “Please be careful… you don’t really want to ‘hurt so good.”
And…he was right.
Afterwards when I got home, I lay awake convinced I might have re-fractured my spine. I even considered going to the ER. Thankfully, this morning I can breathe again—literally—and my body is okay.
And…lesson taken to heart.
It is frustrating at times, learning to honor a body that has changed. I can’t dance the way I once did. And…I am deeply grateful that I can walk with ease, work, and share life with the people I love.
I am holding space for the “ands” in my life.
I have limitations, and I still live a full, meaningful life in a body that has carried me through illness, addiction, heartbreak, loss, and even seasons when my spirit felt broken.
Life looks different now—but the “ands” remind me it is never black and white. There is so much life in the shades of gray.
I can still dance—more gently. I can still sing at the top of my lungs. I can still feel the music “move me”, experience nature, and words deeply, in ways that honor who I am today. I can still feel the euphoria when my grandchildren shriek with joy simply by being in my presence—just as I am.
I embrace the challenges and the experiences that bring me deeper self-awareness in my aging body, uncovering new strengths and resilience as I live into this evolving version of my life.
And that, too, is exhilarating.
It really is about how we choose to embrace change…and, choosing new perspectives.
We create the trajectory of our new normal.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Although we both live with our “one and only forever loves” deep within our souls, we enjoy a close friendship…laughing, talking, walking, dancing, hugging, eating… sharing. Tenderness. And it is a pleasure-filled space with ease, grace, emotional maturity, and pure joy. We meet each other exactly where we are with absolutely no expectations.
Last night, we realized our friendship has been growing organically for a year…a friendship based on mutual understanding, similar interests, spiritual practices, like-minded values, emotional maturity, truly caring about each other and our hearts, and respecting the forever loves we each carry in different ways—through loss, distance, and the passage of time… the forever loves that remain in our souls, though no longer beside us on life’s path.
There can be great beauty in companionship that is warm, attentive, emotionally safe, and deeply fulfilling. Perhaps at this stage of life, some of the most meaningful relationships are not the ones that promise forever… but the ones that bring tenderness, presence, ease, and aliveness into the days we are living right now.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
May is Mental Health Awareness Month.
Please be mindful of your words and language…
Things not to say to someone who is depressed:
“It will pass.”
“Just forget about it.”
“Other people have it worse.”
“Just think positive.”
“You have so much to be grateful for.”
Depression is not weakness, negativity, or lack of gratitude.
It is emotional pain that deserves compassion, patience, support, and empathy.
It IS a mental health disorder.
It IS diagnosable and treatable.
Sometimes the most healing words are simply…
“I’m here.”
“You matter.”
“You don’t have to carry this alone.”
“I can see how difficult this is for you. How can I help?”
AND…
“I can help you find the proper resources if you are open to it.”
All a person needs who is living with depression is to know that one other person cares.
I am a trained mental health specialist, educator and consultant in Mental Health First Aid, Suicide Safety for Schools, Trauma Informed Care, De-Escalation, Conflict Resolution, Motivational Interviewing, Spiritual Wellness, Mental Health and Wellness, to name a few…
Even I, a well trained mental health professional, live with bouts of depression and need support.
It is the greatest form of love and friendship.
To learn more about depression, go to https://www.nami.org
You can also contact your local Mental Health Association for free support.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Even the most loving and compassionate people have their limits…
It’s called boundaries.
One of the greatest acts of self care is to quietly remove yourself from situations and people that repeatedly and purposefully disrespect your soul, negatively impact your mental health, and hurt your heart.
Self care is the actions that we take to achieve wellness…and wellness is where we stand in our power.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Three important things life has taught me…
Silence…is discipline.
True wealth is needing less.
An idle mind ages progressively.
So…think before you speak. Ask yourself if your words will be productive.
Then, take inventory of your blessings and practice gratitude. “Less IS more.”
Finally, stay active. Read. Engage your mind with culture, good people, and curiosity.
Keep learning.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Finding a new love does not mean that we seek to replace or forget our old love. Both can exist simultaneously…and both can exist separately in what they represent, and offer, to a relationship in a healthy way.
A new love does not erase the meaning, history, or imprint of a previous love. Human hearts are expansive enough to hold grief, memory, affection, longing, gratitude, and new connection at the same time.
An old love may represent:
shared history
deep familiarity
spiritual lessons
family
deep passion
unfinished emotion
a chapter of who we once were
A new love may represent:
safety
growth
reciprocity
peace
emotional maturity
companionship
possibility
Those realities can coexist without diminishing one another. The important distinction is whether the past is being honored versus unconsciously recreated, clung to, or used to avoid intimacy in the present.
Loving again does not invalidate what came before. And remembering an old love does not make a new love second best…
In fact, depending upon one’s openness to new experiences with a new partner…
It can be as fulfilling…if not more fulfilling than what we once experienced.
It is all about perspective and willingness to “live again…”
“Still Rolling Stones…”
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Write Pray Recover 