Tag: harmonioushealth4life

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Off Duty:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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You don’t have to stop loving someone in order to stop accommodating the behaviors that are destroying your peace…You don’t have to keep participating in the cycle that leads to a wild goose chase.

If you are a follower of my work, you have read the words I write and speak often…”Peace begins with me” My peace is non-negotiable. My peace is my power. And most recently I made the decision to NOT share my whereabouts, relationships or activities on social media because I have come to realize that, “Privacy protects my peace.”

You can step away from an unhealthy relationship or situation, protect your peace, and allow one to live with the consequences of one’s own lack of emotional work.

Let go of trying to save them.
This isn’t abandonment.
This is a boundary.

One of the most important lessons that I have learned in my 14 years of recovery is that the only person I can save, change or heal…is myself.

There is a difference between “I don’t love you anymore.”and “I love you, but I am no longer willing to lose myself trying to save you.” Trust me…there is NO situation where we can save another unless we are asked to step in to assist…and even then, it is not our burden or work to carry. We can simply guide according to one’s stated desires and needs.


And perhaps the deepest healing is realizing that your nervous system doesn’t have to remain on duty for someone else’s life…otherwise, it tends to “arrest” our own lived experiences.

Affirm: “I am not responsible for rescuing people from places they choose to remain.”

Stand in your power…

“Peace begins with me.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Come Wonder With Me:Spiritual Wellness-“Soul Notes” – Love, Wendy

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Some of my deepest writing doesn’t begin with me sitting down to write…it begins at 2 or 3 a.m., when I awaken with words and vivid pictures already formed in my mind…

A spiritual bolt?

Another” awakening”?

Or simply the Universe refusing to let me sleep until I pay attention?…

Come wonder with me…

I’ve been developing a theory of spiritual wellness centered on four interconnected pillars which I have coined and copyrighted…

Connection, Consciousness, Curiosity, and Consistency and how their synergy can lead us toward deeper meaning.

This emerging theory has become the foundation of my upcoming book, Soul Notes, and I’m excited to share the beginning of this lifelong exploration with you…

COME WONDER WITH ME

I have questions that have awakened something in me.

Come wonder with me.

Because the more you explore, the more there is to explore.

The more you learn, the more you realize there is still so much to learn.

The more you question, the more questions you’ll have.

And perhaps there is no final chapter because we have not yet arrived.

Perhaps this is the journey.

At the heart of my upcoming book, Soul Notes, is a theory I have been developing and contemplating for a long time about spiritual wellness.

Not spirituality as a set of prescribed beliefs.

Not certainty.

Not having all the answers.

But an ongoing state of connection, consciousness, curiosity, and consistent exploration of meaning.

I propose that these are the four pillars of spiritual wellness:

CONNECTION
Our relationship with ourselves, with nature, with the gorgeous and mysterious Universe, and with the spiritual dimensions of our own subjective experiences.

CONSCIOUSNESS
The awareness that we are not isolated beings, but part of something larger connected to one another and to something beyond ourselves, soul to soul.

CURIOSITY
The willingness to keep questioning, exploring, discovering, and remaining open to a variety of eventualities that we may not yet understand…and perhaps we never will.

CONSISTENCY
The practice of returning to that exploration again and again, allowing ourselves to continue to question and wonder, while integrating what we discover into our lived experience in real time as we understand it.

Together, these four pillars create what I think of as a Synergistic Loop of Spiritual Wellness:

Connection → Consciousness → Curiosity → Consistency → Deeper Connection

Our curiosity drives us deeper into consciousness and connection.

Our consistency anchors those discoveries into our everyday lives.

And then we return to connection again…only a little deeper, a little more conscious, and with even more questions.

There most likely will never be a definitive answer.

And that is okay because…

The more I learn, the more I learn.
The more I question, the more questions I have.

And I find that exhilarating.

Because maybe spiritual wellness isn’t about finally arriving.

Maybe it is about remaining awake enough, curious enough, connected enough, and open enough to keep exploring…to continue to wonder.

There is no final chapter because I haven’t arrived.

And neither have you.

This is the journey.

This is Soul Notes.

Come wonder with me. 

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Politics and Emotional Regulation…Or Lack Thereof – Love, Wendy

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It is physically painful and emotionally jarring to observe so many in society devoid of empathy, lacking the emotional intelligence and grace to hear and respect others’ perspectives, and choosing instead to purposefully berate and judge others by becoming combative without provocation.

I also read the most evil and hateful comments on social media,…And for this person in particular, I am reminded of what a small-minded, angry little man I was once tied to, and I thank God every day for removing such evil from my heart and space.

People can have radically different political beliefs, values, and perspectives and still treat one another with basic human dignity.

Some people seem to take pleasure from their high horse, in dehumanizing, humiliating, or attacking someone simply because they disagree with them…whether in person or the cowardly and manipulative setting of social media abuse.

Whatever someone’s political opinion… I am NOT witnessing substantive political discourse…Pure dysregulated contempt.

You don’t have to become numb to cruelty in order to protect your peace. You can see it, feel the sadness of it, recognize it for what it is…and then choose, “I don’t want this in my heart, my relationships, my home, or my space anymore.”

And perhaps that’s the most powerful contrast of all…we don’t have to become less discerning. We can become less willing to let anger and contempt become our way of being.

Remember…we are all sharing a common space while we are here…and when we put such evil out into the world, we have to be very careful because it can boomerang right back at us…

And when we try to run…there’s nowhere to hide.

Remember that.

For goodness sake…learn to emotionally regulate.

Hold your tongue. Close your laptop. Scroll on by. And don’t let everything that lives in your head find its way out of your mouth. Because that is where the “truth” about who we are is revealed.

Love and blessings,


Wendy

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BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Spiritual Wellness:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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Spiritual well-being is not necessarily about religion, in fact…it is not the only pathway to spiritual wellness…

It is about exploring what it is in our bodies that connects to nature where we honor our own human understanding of connection, consciousness and curiosity with intention, passion and commitment.

I hold a certification in Spiritual Wellness…AND… I experience daily a profound sense of connection to what I am certain is a loving, guiding “force” that is “supernatural” in nature.

There is a difference between believing something because you have been taught, and experiencing something and making meaning from that experience where you strengthen your spiritual roots.

My certification gives me a professional framework for understanding spiritual wellness, while my personal spiritual experiences give that framework a very intimate dimension.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

STRUT…DON’T WALK:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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For years I walked around with gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe…slowing my pace and keeping me from moving forward.

Yesterday, I finally yanked off that stubborn, sticky piece of gum and threw it in the trash…

A twelve-year marathon that “trained” me to walk with discernment, and to never again dance with the devil.

No longer dragging my feet…

Strutting into my autonomy for the distance and finally standing in my power.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Restoration:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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Serenity and peace are an early Sunday morning walk, taken slowly and purposefully…listening to my favorite music and watching the pond water ripple as the wind gently blows across its surface.

Nowhere to rush to, but excited to get home to bake fresh gluten-free Chinese almond cookies…then enjoy a beautiful cup of coffee while looking around at the haven I’ve created and thinking about how far I’ve come in these past 14 years of recovery. My heart is filled with gratitude.

Serenity and peace are cultivated intentionally, in whatever ways we choose to create them.

Simple. Strategic. Single-handed.

Restoration isn’t complicated. It’s intentional.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

L-O-V-E:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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I observe three languages in today’s culture: love, hate, and indifference.

Indifference is often overlooked. Most people think the opposite of love is hate, but in many relationships, indifference can feel even more painful.

Hate still implies emotional investment…indifference communicates, “You no longer matter to me.”

Love often seems conditional. It is freely offered when there is agreement, admiration, or usefulness…yet quickly withdrawn when conflict, disappointment, or differing opinions arise.

Love seeks to understand.
Hate seeks to conquer.
Indifference simply walks away.

Our challenge is not merely to speak the language of love when it is easy, but to remain fluent in it when relationships become complicated, opinions differ, and disappointment enters the room. That is where the deepest measure of our humanity is found.

Increasingly, I notice how difficult it has become for many people to tolerate discomfort. A differing opinion often triggers a knee-jerk reaction rather than thoughtful reflection. One’s “version” of the “truth” can hold them hostage, leaving little room for integrity, transparency, or love. Instead, they “perform” indifference, living alone in fear with their “truth” rather than choosing honesty, vulnerability, and connection.

Love requires emotional maturity. It asks us to self-regulate, remain curious, and stay present even when we disagree.

Hate reacts.
Indifference withdraws.
Love chooses connection.

Too often, I see people unable—or perhaps unwilling—to pause long enough to choose love over reaction.

I invite you to develop the emotional capacity to disagree without dehumanizing one another. In a world increasingly divided by reaction, choosing love is one of the most courageous acts of our humanity.

We hold peace in our hands…

It is spelled L-O-V-E.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Write Pray Recover

Call To Action – Love, Wendy

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Today, I sat with a dear friend whose wife died by suicide. The details are so disturbing, and my heart is broken for this beautiful woman who felt she had no way out other than to take her own life, leaving my dear friend on a long and winding road of grief, unanswered questions, and profound sorrow.

My heart is heavy and broken for my friend in his “new normal” of daily survival, quiet resilience, and painful healing.

We need to humanize mental health, not only normalize it.

Normalization can sometimes sound clinical. Humanizing means seeing the person before the diagnosis, the family before the statistics, and the survivor before the stigma.

It means understanding that someone can do everything “right”—as is the case with Ian and his beloved wife—seek treatment, have people who love them, and still struggle profoundly.

AND…we have to take a closer look at the “system” that is supposed to protect those living with a severe and persistent mental illness. Who are they? What is their training? Is there follow-through? Are there outside supports in place once a patient leaves a facility?

And…it also means recognizing that those left behind need community, not avoidance.

When I worked as a Mental Health/Substance Abuse Recovery Specialist and advocate with patients and their families, I heard too many times of loved ones being purposely ignored by friends, family, and neighbors who once sought them out for connection after a diagnosis or mental health/suicide event.

I myself have experienced this avoidance when I was in active addiction and living with a co-occuring mental health disorders, and when a loved one, living with a severe and persistent mental illness and substance use disorder, was near death.

The answer is not retreating from those we love, but pulling them closer. Advocacy is about building a strong community and making sure one less person feels alone.

You cannot “catch” these chronic and complex conditions. You can, however, offer compassion, understanding, and support to someone experiencing profound sorrow and enduring heartbreak whether their loved one is living with a severe and persistent mental illness, or if they have passed.

Mental illness does not define a person, and suicide should never define a life.

Stigma can lead misinformed/uneducated people to label, stereotype and alienate one with a mental health disorder or addiction. 

This can contribute to feelings of shame and embarrassment for individuals and prevent them from treatment seeking behavior.

We change the conversation and understanding about mental health one person at a time.

Show up.

Reach out.

Stay present.

Sometimes the most powerful thing we can offer someone living with profound loss is the reminder that they are not alone.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Footprints:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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The rarest kind of closeness is feeling safe in someone’s presence… a touch, a look, or a quiet moment speaks louder than words…

The kind of connection where silence itself becomes unspoken communication that is soul-deep and intuitive.

It is someone walking beside you, or perhaps the memory of someone whose presence you still recognize. It is the quiet rhythm of two lives moving in harmony… trust built over time, one step at a time, and the footprints people leave on our hearts long after they’re gone…

For me, a once in a lifetime experience.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

A Rich Inheritance:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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There’s something so heartwarming about watching your adult children in their own homes, re-creating the ordinary moments they once observed growing up—hosting a gathering, preparing a meal, or parenting with so much love and affection.

I notice the way they interact with others. Their words and actions reflect respect, empathy, and a genuine sense of human connection…

I notice the way they care for me, and about me on their visits home where they are genuinely excited to spend quality time together…demonstrating a deep love that is unconditional.

And…I learn new things from them as I quietly observe their actions and interactions.

I smile. I reflect. I see myself in my children…I see the future…and in the blink of an eye, their children will see themselves in theirs.

And yes, of course I made mistakes—many of them. That’s part of being human.

But I believe that when we make mistakes with young eyes watching, and then do the work to repair them…aligning our words with our behavior—we are also modeling problem-solving, humility, accountability, and character.

I am proud of the woman I became—one who chose self-love, curiosity, compassion, resilience, and forgiveness.

Perhaps that’s the greatest legacy we leave behind…not perfection, but the courage to rise each day within the vortex and choose to keep becoming.

Our children inherit all of it. Then they choose what to carry forward and what to leave behind.

Growth became part of my family’s inheritance.

And that may be the richest legacy of all.

You can take that to the bank.

Love and blessings,

Wendy