Tag: spirituality

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Listen to your Gut:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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Listening has become a lost art. Nothing reveals character faster than a conversation.

People often mistake talking for connecting. They aren’t the same. Real connection is built in the pauses…in the questions…in the genuine curiosity to understand another person’s inner world without rushing to tell your own story…to exercise empathy, and to cultivate true meaning between two people who are exploring each other…

The fastest way to make someone feel invisible is to interrupt the story they’re trying to tell…Be mindful that being heard is one of the purest forms of connecting…and eventually…being loved…

The questions we ask reveal far more about our character than the stories we tell…

As in the “eye of the tiger,” I am observing it all…

I’ve learned to observe less what a man says about himself and more how genuinely curious he is about my inner world. 

Your intuition often speaks loudest while someone else is talking.

Curiosity is one of love’s earliest expressions.

Shhhhh…Ask. Listen. Respond.

Love and blessings,


Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

“As Within, So Without…As Above, So Below”:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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Yesterday’s long drive home to myself…with all of its twists and turns, stops and starts, has led me to a road that has led me to the road home.

I begin today with a new mindset…

I am lighter today.

I give myself permission to live exactly as I am. No more apologies for my specific needs. No more stress over my “new normal.” No more trying to filter out my imperfections in order to create connection. No more trying to compete with my forty year-old self…just an eagerness and pride to meet myself where I am.

You cannot see my heart and soul, but with every interaction we have, I hope you will feel them.

That is the legacy I hope to leave behind.

Steve once wrote on one of my social media posts (November 4, 2015): “Agree with all of the above about your outer beauty, but the greater change has been internal, where your true beauty lives.”

This profound and loving sentiment reminds me that our greatest work is not the pursuit of perfection, but the courage to cultivate a loving relationship with ourselves first. When we give ourselves permission to live our truth—whatever that looks like—we become an example for others to do the same.

This is how loving relationships are built. Loving relationships become loving families, neighborhoods, and communities.

Everything begins within.

“As within, so without… as above, so below.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

One Soulmate:One Lifetime:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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A FRACTURED BODY NEVER FULLY HEALS, AND NEITHER DOES A FRACTURED HEART.

WE LEARN TO ADAPT. WE MAKE MODIFICATIONS AND ADJUSTMENTS BECAUSE WE CHOOSE TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD AND LIVE A FULFILLING AND JOYFUL LIFE.

AFTER LOVING SOMEONE SO DEEPLY FOR OVER A DECADE—OUR ONE AND ONLY SOULMATE…SPIRITUALLY, EMOTIONALLY, MENTALLY, AND PHYSICALLY—YOU NEVER LOVE IN QUITE THE SAME WAY AGAIN. THAT KIND OF LOVE LEAVES AN IMPRINT ETCHED IN ONE’S MIND AND HEART.

THEY SAY THE BODY KEEPS THE SCORE.

I BELIEVE THE HEART DOES TOO.

IT HEALS ENOUGH TO HOPE AGAIN, AND TO FIND JOY AGAIN—BUT IT NEVER FORGETS. A SPIRITUAL LOVE BECOMES PART OF WHO WE ARE…FOREVER.

LOVE ALWAYS AND FOREVER…

WENDY

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Empath Intuition:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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Empaths are authenticity machines. We intuitively feel when something isn’t genuine…

We don’t need a story to unravel—we recognize when words, energy, and behavior do not align.

When a story doesn’t feel authentic, we often know it almost instantly…it performs…

And when it is authentic…it is graceful, effortless and it resonates deep in the soul.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Earned Access:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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A wall keeps danger out, but it also keeps love out.

A boundary is different. A boundary has a gate.
You decide who enters, how quickly, and under what conditions. You control the gate.

A boundary says, “I am open to connection, and I am observing. I will move at a pace that feels safe for me. I will always honor my needs before all else. I will not abandon myself to keep someone else.”
This is one of the greatest acts of self-care.

And once my spiritual intuition turns from yellow to green…our road is wide open. I embrace one fully and unconditionally.

I can let someone come closer, and I can still stay connected to myself.

The beautiful thing about a gate is that I still hold the key…and if the alignment feels right, the key can be duplicated—two keys, one home…where “me” becomes “we,” and both hearts choose to keep the gate open as we choose one another every day.

Reflection: Trust is not maintained by one person alone…it is something both people actively nurture, one moment at a time. Healthy love is both intentional and mutual…

Both people participate, nurture, and protect what they are building…

Earned access.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Divine Redesign:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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It may look like an obstacle…it may feel like it weighs a ton…and you may not understand it in the moment…

but in my lived experience…it is a divine re-design through a spiritual re-direction to true love, joy, peace and extraordinary experiences that you were looking for in all the wrong places…

Trust the detour. Take the road less traveled with an eager mind and open heart…

It may be the only road that leads you home to yourself.

And please hear me and believe me when I say that one day you’ll stop asking, ‘Why did this happen?’ and you will smile to yourself and quietly whisper , ‘Thank God it did.”

#truestory

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

“Radical Acceptance: That I Would Be Good” – Love, Wendy

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Tara Brach tells the story of Marilyn sitting with her dying mother night after night, holding her hand, meditating with her, and telling her she loved her. Most of the time her mother was unconscious. Then, shortly before her death, she opened her eyes and looked directly at her daughter and said:

“All my life I thought something was wrong with me.”

Tara writes that the mother then gently shook her head, as if to say, “What a waste,” closed her eyes, and drifted back into a coma. She died shortly afterward. 

That story appears near the beginning of Radical Acceptance as an illustration of what Brach calls the “trance of unworthiness”—the heartbreaking belief that we are fundamentally flawed, deficient, or not enough. Brach uses the story to show how many people carry that burden for an entire lifetime, only realizing near the end that the belief itself was never true. 

Reading that passage can hit especially hard when you’re grieving. What moved me isn’t just the sadness of the mother’s realization…it’s the daughter’s presence. Marilyn couldn’t change her mother’s past, but she gave her something precious at the end: love, companionship, and acceptance…

Sometimes that’s the most important gift we can offer another human being. ❤️

This passage went straight to my heart…I spent much of my life believing something was wrong with me but the truth is that I was shaped by circumstances beyond my control as a young child, and the effects followed me well into adulthood. In these past 14 years of my recovery from prescription drug addiction, I have realized that this woman has discovered there was never anything “wrong” with me.

The tragedy in this passage from the book, Radical Acceptance, wasn’t that she was flawed…

The tragedy was that she believed she was.

Unlike the woman in the story, I am not realizing it in the final hours of my life.

I AM realizing it now.

I still have time to challenge that old belief every single time it appears…

I suffered. I made mistakes. I lost things I wish I hadn’t lost. And I spent many years believing those experiences meant I was defective…

I don’t see waste.

I see myself as someone who has fought incredibly hard to stay alive, stay sober, stay loving, and stay open-hearted despite carrying more pain than most people know.

I am a human being who suffered, coped in destructive ways for a time, paid a heavy price, and then spent the past 14 years doing the difficult work of recovery and healing…”becoming.”

The grief I intermittently experience is real because there are losses that can never be fully undone.

But grief is not proof of defectiveness.

Regret is not proof of defectiveness.

Even addiction is not proof of defectiveness.

And today…I do not “waste” another present moment in the past.

I live with purpose, with love, and with great anticipation of experiencing what comes next.

Yes, there is grief behind me…and possibility ahead of me.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

Afterthought:

You are never required to become flawless in order to be worthy of love. – Love, Wendy

“That I would be loved even when I numb myself
That I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
That I would be loved even when I was fuming
That I would be good even if I was clingy

That I would be good even if I lost sanity
That I would be good
Whether with or without you…” – Alanis Morrisette

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Dominoes:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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A single domino falls, and suddenly an entire chain of events unfolds. Sometimes the first domino was set in motion years earlier by something we didn’t choose—a childhood lesson, a painful experience, an illness, a relationship, a loss. 

Other times it’s a decision we make that quietly changes the direction of everything that follows.

This image below of the dominoes suggests that one event directly affects another…

And that’s true.

But so does one act of awareness.

One healthy choice.

One moment of courage.

One different perspective.

AFTERTHOUGHTS:

As I sit in reflection and meditation, and as I pray for perspective, this is what comes to me…

I have done the therapy. I have done the recovery work. I have examined my patterns. I have worked on unlearning old beliefs. I have fought for, and continue to fight for my health and wellness. I have tried to grow from every difficult and challenging experience.

And…at some point a person naturally looks around and says:

“Okay… when do I get to stop managing everything?” “When can I trust the dominoes to remain sturdy and standing on their own?” or “When will someone come along to lessen the load…just a tad…”

Not because I am giving up…But because I am exhausted from the constant need for maintenance.

Exhausted of tending the garden.
Exhausted of picking up the dominoes.
Exhausted of having to be so conscious, so vigilant, so self-aware all the time.

The dominoes (metaphor) never seem to stay standing. Something always comes along…a health issue, a family issue, a work issue, a relationship issue—and here I am again…being called to reset the line…because if I do not tend to the calling…”all the kings horses and all the kings men…” blah, blah, blah.

The part I would gently challenge and that which I ask myself is this: “Am I really back at the beginning each time?”

The circumstances may feel repetitive, but I engage each situation with lived experience and a wider lens of perspective where I can reframe the “assignment”.

I have to admit that eventually resilience starts to feel like a job description nobody asked for.
And when people say, “You’re so strong,” sometimes this is not a compliment…it is a burden…an expectation that I didn’t sign up for…

And you know what?!…for today…I am leaving the dominoes where they are…I am at peace with that as I take a pause to rest…

Somebody else can pick them up today…

And if nobody does, they’ll still be there tomorrow. 

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

The Many Forms of Love:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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Love is not a single emotion, even though we try to contain it within one word.

It stretches across countless human experiences. It lives in long-term partnerships where people continue choosing each other through the passing years and decades, not simply existing beside one another. It exists in enduring friendships that can withstand silence and distance, resuming effortlessly without resentment or explanation. It appears in the overwhelming tenderness of a parent watching a sleeping child, a feeling so deep and unguarded it can catch the heart off guard…and the heart of a grandmother that spills over with joy when her granddaughter runs across the room, arms wide open, and jumps up into them.

Love.

There is also the love that remains after loss through divorce or death. This is the quiet love that lingers long after someone is gone, revealing itself in small reflexes and moments of remembering those that only the two of us experienced. Reaching for the phone to share something before realizing they are no longer there is itself an act of continued love. This enduring attachment is not weakness or error, but something profoundly human…

Love.

It is present in a “Good morning, Honey” text, or a text from a neighbor who says, “just checking in. Do you need anything…” and in the excited greeting from a beloved pet, or a friend remembering something small you shared weeks before and calls to ask about how things turned out. It is present when someone takes the time to say, “Have a wonderful day,” or “Drive safely.”

Love is expressed in a co-worker taking the time to stop to ask how you are, and really listening to your response…offering a hug on a day when love feels elusive. It is the moment your FaceTime call comes in from your family or a close friend exactly at the moment you are longing for their presence.

It matters to recognize these forms because love surrounds us far more often than we notice…and in today’s culture and climate…we need to hold onto all of the gifts of love that surround us…in real time…and within our memory…

Notice them…Embrace them…

These moments may seem ordinary, yet they are woven into the fabric of what makes life meaningful…where we are seen and heard.

Many years ago, Steve said these words to me, “I will be your witness.”

LOVE.

Thinkers like Seneca wrote that “a person cannot truly live well by existing only for themselves; to live fully, we must also live for others.”

So love despite the uncertainty. Love despite the inevitability of loss. Choose closeness over emotional distance, presence over self-protection. Allow yourself to care deeply, even knowing the risk, because that willingness to love is part of “witnessing” the most beautiful and meaningful part of one’s life.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Holding Space for the “Ands” – Dancing Slowly Through Life:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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Music is one of my greatest lifelines, and moving my body to the songs I love is a kind of euphoria I never want to lose.

Last night, knowing my spinal challenges and Lupus required care, I still got lost in the music—“Hurts So Good” (pun intended). I stood up beside Dan at the restaurant table and began to move with joy and exhilaration…and belting out the lyrics. 🙂

He gently put his arm around my waist and said, “Please be careful… you don’t really want to ‘hurt so good.”

And…he was right.

Afterwards when I got home, I lay awake convinced I might have re-fractured my spine. I even considered going to the ER. Thankfully, this morning I can breathe again—literally—and my body is okay.

And…lesson taken to heart.

It is frustrating at times, learning to honor a body that has changed. I can’t dance the way I once did. And…I am deeply grateful that I can walk with ease, work, and share life with the people I love.

I am holding space for the “ands” in my life.

I have limitations, and I still live a full, meaningful life in a body that has carried me through illness, addiction, heartbreak, loss, and even seasons when my spirit felt broken.

Life looks different now—but the “ands” remind me it is never black and white. There is so much life in the shades of gray.

I can still dance—more gently. I can still sing at the top of my lungs. I can still feel the music “move me”, experience nature, and words deeply, in ways that honor who I am today. I can still feel the euphoria when my grandchildren shriek with joy simply by being in my presence—just as I am.

I embrace the challenges and the experiences that bring me deeper self-awareness in my aging body, uncovering new strengths and resilience as I live into this evolving version of my life.

And that, too, is exhilarating.

It really is about how we choose to embrace change…and, choosing new perspectives.

We create the trajectory of our new normal.

Love and blessings,

Wendy