”I am guided by Spirit. Every action that I take is spiritually aligned which means it always comes from a place of love of others, and in my own best interest.
I speak my truth, I set boundaries, I help in any way that I can, and I offer love, empathy and respect, and I expect the same in return.
I stand in my power.”
Wendy Blanchard, MS, CHHC
The emotional intelligence and emotional awareness of a man, or lack thereof…and the integrity of a man, or lack thereof…speaks volumes about his character, or lack thereof.
When one just ceases to communicate and cuts another from his life, she who is most loving and kind, but he has for years been proclaiming to be “a communicator and man of God,” he defines himself.
And when it’s been years of repeated patterns, and another chooses to continually forgive and believe that it will be different, and offers unconditional love, and friendship, why wouldn’t one without emotional intelligence, integrity or character continue to repeat behaviors that have been rewarded with nothing but love and forgiveness?
Reminder…We teach people how to treat us.”
Wendy Blanchard, MS, CHHC
“A spiritual life isn’t “fitting in time” to practice…It is building our practice so that it becomes who we are, what we think, what we say, and what we do.”
Wendy Blanchard, MS, CHHC
“Recently I was asked how I want to be remembered. My response is simple…
Remember that I loved deeply, that I offered empathy and compassion to others, that my faith was my power, and that my children were my greatest inspiration to live…and, that I achieved the sense and love of self that allowed me to experience it all, and to give it all away.”
Wendy Blanchard, MS, CHHC
“As I am faced with a medical challenge which requires surgery, I lean into my faith yet again to offer me peace and reassurance.
My life was saved for a Divine purpose seven years ago, and I am certain that God will carry me through again.
I am being offered another opportunity to be a source of strength and inspiration for others who need a gentle reminder that where we allow Spirit to be our strength, we never walk alone.
Wendy Blanchard, MS, CHHC
AWARENESS OF SELF, OTHERS, AND SPIRIT
As we practice awareness of ourselves and others through spiritually aligned actions, especially when we are met with conflict, it is helpful to remember these four suggestions in arriving at a mutually beneficial and constructive resolution:
1. Do not react.
2. Listen without judgement of others, and practice non-judgement of ourselves.
3. BREATHE…Observe your feelings and emotions, allow them to pass through you and, if warranted, take a timeout.
4. Respond with respect, sincerely validate all feelings, and state a clear intention of a positive outcome that will be beneficial to both parties.
Recently, I created these four steps as a way to remind myself of how to practice implementing spiritually aligned actions, at a glance. My friend and colleague, and the author of the foreword to this book, David Rahman and I disagreed on his initial draft to be used.
In an email David sent me the draft, and as a teacher, I could see a few places that, in my opinion, needed to be edited for clarity of meaning. I edited the foreword, and sent it back for David’s approval. David sent it back immediately and said that he was not okay with some of the edits as he felt that it changed the meaning of what he was trying to convey.
Immediately, I felt old triggers sneak in. As a child and young adult, I was never heard and my feelings had to be kept quiet. Whenever I wanted to discuss or share my feelings, I was told to “get out of my sight or I’ll break your neck!” So, I was allowing my past traumatic experiences to bleed into this present situation, and David had not said or done anything remotely similar to my childhood experience that warranted the rush of feelings that surfaced! My heart began to race, my head got a tight feeling, and I felt hot all over. Without thinking or breathing, or allowing myself the space to understand David’s words, or to offer validation of what he was feeling, I sent the email right back to him and said, “Then maybe we shouldn’t use your foreword.” I was literally in a fight/flight mindset. I had hundreds of irrational thoughts swirling around in my mind that, looking back, had absolutely nothing to do with the present situation. So, having an old behavior mindset (we all falter, but it’s how quickly we recover that counts!) was my way of “being heard.” What happens with trauma is it leaves an emotional, behavioral and mental imprint. So, when something feels the same as that traumatic painful experience, it activates your thought patterns linked to the initial trauma. This makes you think, act, react and feel in the same way you did when it first happened even though it is a different experience. David emailed back and said, “Okay, we won’t use it.”
The moment that I read his words, it was as if Spirit embraced all of me and suggested I reach out to David coming from a humble, loving, and spiritually aligned action. I felt an immediate calm. I texted David and asked if we could have a conversation, and he said, “Of course!” David and I are close friends in addition to being colleagues, and I admire him in his own right as a man and as a business man who helps thousands around the world who are living with mental health challenges to “reset their mindset,” and I value his friendship. So, we were going to FaceTime in an hour (David lives in the U.K. and we FaceTime a few times a week). Before then, I wanted to write down, as a reminder, my spiritually aligned action(s) that would offer an outcome we could both be excited about, and that would act as a reminder to myself to remain present throughout our dialogue.
The four steps listed above came pouring onto the paper immediately. I knew Spirit was speaking through me as I wrote it down and placed it in front of me on my bed next to my laptop where I would soon FaceTime with David.
As I allowed David to explain why he was feeling that some of the edits were not edits he could live with, I could feel my anger/anxiety escalating and I could hear intrusive thoughts yelling at him, “You’re not right! I’m a teacher!” Trauma is hard to tame, but not impossible, and because I wrote down the steps I wanted to follow and had it within view, I kept saying to myself, “David has the right to feel how he is feeling, and I must validate his feelings as I would like my feelings to be validated. I listened to his words with an intermittent reminder to myself to come back to the present, and that this situation is the present and in no way linked to, or reflective of my past trauma.
We spoke and negotiated for about an hour, and the result is the eloquent and heartfelt foreword that we agreed upon.
When we are aware of our trauma and how it can pop up without warning, and we are willing to heal it, and we are connected to the Universe/God/Spirit, we can create magnificent and permanent change.
The truth is always calm. Untruths are a cacophony of noises trying to mask the calm for fear of the truth. Untruths hide, and run away to avoid admittance and acceptance of their actions. Here is when we must face ourselves, if we are brave. And…herein lies our freedom.
Our integrity is showcased in our decision to meet that truth and to not compromise our love and respect of ourselves, or of others. It is shown when we continue to hold ourselves to our highest standards, standing in our purest truth, naked and vulnerable, and following our divine path.
“Deep personal truth is something you live even when you keep it to yourself. It is seen in each word you speak, and every action that you take: Integrity.”
Wendy Blanchard, M.S., CHHC
TRANSFORMATION THROUGH SELF-CARE, BOUNDARIES AND SPIRITUAL SOLUTIONS
It takes a lot of work to unlearn old thought patterns and behaviors that were ingrained in our minds as precious children by adults who didn’t have the tools to care for us properly. We internalized the lack of love and attention, and the deprivation of emotional and physical safety and blamed ourselves. As adults, we find it hard to love and forgive ourselves, setting no boundaries, people pleasing, allowing ourselves to continue in unhealthy relationships, and desperate to feel loved.
WE CAN UNLEARN AND RELEARN. It is absolutely possible.
Find a professional that best serves your specific needs and that you feel safe with. Do the work, be dedicated to unlearning, and make room for gorgeous new lessons. Open your mind to a whole new understanding of yourself and all you are capable of. Unlimited beliefs open the path of an eventful journey filled with transformation and bountiful opportunities. Love yourself before all else.
Part of my self-care is setting boundaries. It benefits my personal space and gives others information about my expectations and what I will, and will not accept. One who lives in an ego-based mindset takes my boundaries personally and is not in alignment with my journey, nor are they in alignment with Spirit. For me to practice self-care, I must remain in alignment only with those who respect my personal space, my boundaries, and my desires.
Boundaries are set up to act as barriers to unwelcome attitudes, unsolicited advice, unhealthy behaviors and unwanted advances. When we step on top of the line, blurring the lines of friendship or way over the line into another’s personal space, we are displaying lack of self-control, profound disrespect, and blatant disregard for another’s values, morals, and heartfelt beliefs. Once is a test; twice is a life lesson. Healthy living begins with healthy boundaries. State them directly and clearly.
I have come from the mindset of a young girl who sought attention and validation for all of my choices and successes, and sought to be cradled in my pain, to a grown ass woman whose healthy choices, self-healing, and successes promote wellness. I have had the presence of mind to make it all happen through the pain my way. I stand deeply in humility and with the deepest sense of gratitude. Seven years of recovery, lessons and experience deeply rooted in a spiritual transformation and self-love have prepared me to stand alone, yet always connected to Spirit. I am, also, however, surrounded by the love of so many faithful souls, as I navigate the present moment, and everyday challenges.”
“Wellness is my choice with every decision that I make throughout each moment of the day, from what I choose to eat to the relationships that I choose to have to practicing daily self-care. Wellness is not just about healthy nutrition and exercise. Wellness is about our self-talk. Our cells hear everything that we say to ourselves. Positive mindset and happy healthy thoughts promote wellness on a cellular level as self-care is the way we stand in our power. Self-care leads to wellness, and wellness is our ultimate power. When we allow our intuition to speak to us, and we listen to our own truth regardless of what anyone else thinks, we reconnect with our own inspiration, and that inspiration becomes our guide.
My willingness to be open and to follow my own inspiration through my intuition, was the catalyst for my greatest change where I was willing to listen to, accept, and work through my truth. This is the reason I am blessed to share my journey.
All that it takes to begin is the willingness to follow our intuition, to explore options, to reset our mindset, and to make changes in which we practice ongoing commitment to a new and healthy lifestyle!
I have learned that we must let go of expectations. A moment of trying your best is your only expectation in recovery and/or creating a new healthy lifestyle. Hold yourself accountable for that. Forgiveness lets you off the hook. Put down the brick. Realign yourself with love and forgiveness. This is the catalyst for your greatest change. Stand deeply in your faith, and expect that your recovery/new lifestyle changes will have ups and downs, but that you are strong enough to withstand the changes when you are armed with tools, when you work hard and crave recovery, when you surround yourself with a support system filled with love and guidance, and when you accept change, and are willing to change your mindset to transform your life.
This is my miracle, and I expect nothing less as I continue to stand deeply in my faith, practice self-care and self-love, and be of service to others.
Please remember this: Spiritual solutions and self-care have been at the foundation of my recovery where I am thriving. When we practice self-care and are feeling well, we stand in our power. When we practice connection to a Higher Source—whatever that means for each of us individually—we are always lovingly protected, guided, and supported, and we stand even stronger in our power.
We all have mental health, and our mental and physical health are directly correlated. We sometimes feel well on the continuum, and sometimes we feel unwell depending upon what is going on within us and around us. It is up to us to be aware of our own signs and symptoms as we begin to feel unwell, and of what we need to move back to wellness. Inherently, we all know what we need to heal, and it will be different for everyone and will change over one’s lifetime. We must practice prevention in removing ourselves from anything toxic including foods, thoughts, and relationships. Most importantly, we must know that when we have done all that we can to move ourselves back to wellness, and we aren’t successful, we must understand that it is a healthy decision and the highest form of self-care to ask for professional help. When we are unwell physically and remain unwell for an extended period of time, we go to the doctor. We must practice the same type of self-care when it applies to our mental health. Healthy practices body, mind, and spirit promote wellness. Wellness is our power in recovery!
Wishing you harmonious health for life!”
Write Pray Recover 