Month: November 2021

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

I CHOOSE TO BE WELL – LOVE, WENDY

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In reflecting over the past few days where I experienced an opportunity to implement my spiritually aligned actions with one who has attempted to trigger me in my sobriety using the bullying strategies that triggered me to use drugs for decades, I realize that the Universe provided me with this experience to reinforce for myself, and for those whom I serve, my dedication to my wellness and sobriety.

When we stand in our power and in our truth, and we align with our spiritual practices, we are unshakable on our foundation.

I never take things like this personally. I used a positive response, wished him well, and went about my own day.

The behavior and words that were tossed at me are the owners responsibility.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

ACCEPTANCE PROMOTES PEACE – LOVE, WENDY

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When we are living with a brain disorder such as mental illness or substance use Disorder, our thoughts tell us to engage in behaviors that may be harmful to us, and may be extremely hurtful and frightening to our loved ones.

However, when we have worked in recovery for years to secure our wellness, as well as healing our trauma, and in addition to feeling deep remorse, and making amends to all those that we have hurt, albeit unintentionally, we must leave the past in the past. This is where healing takes place.

If there is a child, family member or friend who still harbors resentment and does not understand this brain disorder, we have the choice to walk away from that relationship. If one makes our disorder about themselves, we can either choose to allow continued emotional abuse, or to exit the relationship. If this person continuously reminds us of how our disorder affected them, always making it about them, and finds passive/aggressive ways to “give us the middle finger“ because they lack the empathy and verbal skills to communicate, we can choose to disengage.

I don’t care who it is or how much love I feel.

I have the right to feel loved, safe, and experience peace in every moment of my life.

And I will not allow anyone else’s behavior to infuse mine.

I am in my ninth year of recovery, proud of my healing, and thriving.

I practice acceptance of this situation.

Acceptance promotes freedom and peace.

I am free. I am peaceful. I stand in my power.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK

EXCERPT FROM WRITE PRAY RECOVER – CHAPTER 5:WHEN YOU BELIEVE – LOVE, WENDY

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“Yet, in my fleeting moments of clarity, through my connection to God, I knew that one way or the other, something major was about to shift for me. Through the signs, He had planted the seeds of my recovery. 

God saved my life that stormy October day.  He prevented me from becoming a casualty of the storm, though made it a very close call, in order to remind me that He was present, and that He is truly in charge, and that all I needed to do was ask for help to save my life. And, to surrender myself to Him. It was my awakening moment of clarity. 

And as the saying goes, “There before the Grace of God go I.”

Miracles can be achieved when you believe.

Amen.

Music, Numerology, And Divine Experiences

For years, while I was in an on-and-off-again relationship with Steve, I had a specific request that I would make for validation that Spirit was guiding our loving relationship, and each day it was revealed. I would ask to hear our song, “At Last” by Etta James. I would also ask for “our number,” 555, to be revealed to me. Some days it was so powerful that I would feel like the Universe was screaming, “Don’t worry! Everything is going to be alright!” That number, 555, is still my favorite for Spiritual connection as it means that big exciting change is on its way! Recently, my son, Matthew, was getting on a NYC train, and as he took his seat, he saw a phone number on an advertisement banner: 800-555-5555. He sent it to me immediately and said, “Mom, I think this is meant for you!” It never ceases to amaze me that, day after day, my signs are revealed, and so clearly. I am still in awe of it all. 

Say aloud, “Today, I set an intention to _____________________ . I ask my ever-loving, enlightened, guiding Spirits to wrap their loving arms around my intention as I release it to you.” Then let it go. As you let go, you will be amazed at how your intention begins to reveal itself! A miracle! When we have a shift in perception, and awaken to the realization that when we surrender to Spirit and “wait without anxiety,” we are saying, “I trust God/Spirit/Universe to bring to me what will serve me in my highest blessings.” This is a miracle!

Although the “on again/off again” relationship with Steve ended, the Spiritual signs throughout the years that we spent together were my compass. Some guided me to understanding on a spiritual level why this particular relationship was to be only for “a season and a reason,” and not for a lifetime. And, this union was one of the joys of my journey. 

I understand now, years later, after spending time reflecting upon the information that I had been given from Spirit, that the relationship “presented itself ” at a time when I needed to learn specific spiritual lessons early in my recovery that only this union with Steve could afford me. 

“Thy Will Be Done.”

Stay connected for an update next week on my publishing date for Write Pray Recover!

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK

WHICH WOLF WILL YOU FEED? – LOVE, WENDY

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“When we have apologized for our mistakes in earnest and with deep remorse, we move forward with the lesson and we make better choices.

As I observe one with deep rooted anger who chooses to hold a grudge, I also observe one’s fear of losing control of an ex-partner’s choices and decisions.

In a toxic relationship where both parties are being influenced by unhealthy substances, thoughts and behaviors that have been lifelong, and one of the parties chooses to change the trajectory of their life to that of spirituality and wellness, the one who remains isolated in one’s toxic choices becomes resentful.

They resent that there is no longer a codependency. They may even long to find a spiritual practice to support them and wellness that is born of healthy practices.

However, one may not have the discipline or the inner strength to face themselves, or to speak their truth…even to themselves. And one who is white knuckling the fear of the loss of control over another, and/or being left alone to live in their toxic environment may even suck in the family, even the children they share in an attempt to deflect the attention off of themselves. They remain stuck in the past. They choose to continue living in a self created toxic environment.

This is the space where one makes a choice. This is the space where one chooses which wolf to feed.

Which wolf will you feed?

I consistently choose not to feed the wolf who will intentionally chew slowly at my soul, in an attempt to devour its rebirth.

I feed only those who come to the table with an empty plate with the intention of being grateful for all of our blessings. I feed only those who join me in choosing healthy practices, empathy, and love. I choose the one who chooses “light and hope.”

Talk: Which Wolf are you Feeding? | The School of Positive Psychology

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK

NOT ALL SNAKES SHED THEIR SKIN – WENDY BLANCHARD, M.S., INHC, NYCPS

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“In the past, I have given willingly and selflessly of my kind and loving nature to anyone who needed a smile, a hug, a shoulder, an ear, and/or one who may have felt alone, or lonely. One who did not have anyone to offer these basic necessities. Friendship. Empathy. Compassion. Love. Even a cheerleader. I always felt that it is an honor to be “called” to offer love.

In the past, I have always stood in the belief that when we give away to others what we feel we need, the Universe will bring it back to us in our own blessings. The ripple effect that offers love, peace, and wellness. I have always believed that when I felt I needed love, I gave more love. When I felt I needed empathy, I offered deeper empathy…and so on.

It turns out that not everyone is of the same mindset. Yesterday, on Thanksgiving Day, I was given a brutal reminder that there are others who are unable, and/or unwilling to feel empathy, compassion and unconditional love, or to offer a genuine word of encouragement, let alone friendship. And, even more unconscionable, watching this man purposefully try to attempt to jeopardize my recovery right in front of our family.

I am proud to be in my 9th year of recovery from substance use disorder, specifically prescription drugs, where I am thriving and living my life on my own terms where God/Spirit/Universe is at the foundation of it all.

You cannot outsmart the Universe.

The behavior that which was intentinally directed at me, could not penetrate my discipline to my wellness. And, I actually felt empathy for him because this particular pattern of behavior that has existed decades long, is something that he is struggling with internally.

It was not about me.

For decades, I allowed one with a disingenuous soul use my kindness, love, and beautiful heart to their own selfish advantage. The daily conversations and the majority of situations was always centered around him. I was completely invisible. So much so that at the breakfast table, after cooking a beautiful meal for him, day after day, month after month, he held up a newspaper in front of his face so that he would not have to speak to me, or wore headphones to listen to the radio in order to purposefully “turn me off.” I cried myself to sleep every night, or just numbed out with prescription pills for decades due to living with one who could not feel, or offer any emotional connection. And, I was too unwell to leave.

My hell and my haven.

I developed an addiction to shopping in addition to the prescription drugs in order to attempt to fill the void that I felt. It was the only way I knew how to cope with such despair, neglect, deep lonliness, as well as the emotional abuse.

My upcoming book, Write Pray Recover:A Journey To Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care will outline some of the details of that toxic relationship, and the lengths that I went to in order to try to “force” him to love me, and how I learned to love myself instead using “spiritual solutions and self care.”

I had to ask myself yesterday, and this morning, “Why do I continue to allow myself to be aligned with this man, and to be in the same space with him in order to please our family, albeit infrequently?

The answer? I still have more inner work to do. The triggers that he generates in me are all about me. I am the only one who can reconcile any feelings of unworthiness or feelings of being “unlovable.”

I am grateful for this experience. It has offered me the opportunity to recognize any lingering feelings of unworthiness or feelings of being unlovable, and to go more deeply to heal those emotions. I did not waiver in my response to this man. My response exuded self confidence, self esteem and the behavior of a grown ass woman.

I kept my eyes right on his, my words were deliberate, and calm, and when “I” was done speaking my truth, I smiled, and I moved right along into starting a new conversation with others.

I have grown. I have evolved. And yes, I will continue to learn and to do the inner work to heal further.

Most importantly, I will never again allow anyone else, no matter who they are, family, friend, child, peer, acquaintence, to steer the trajectory of my thoughts and behaviors.

This grown ass woman has definitely “changed her spots.” Not all snakes shed their skin.

Speak you truth. It is where your freedom begins.

Please watch for my upcoming publishing date for Write Pray Recover!

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

EXCERPT FROM MY UPCOMING BOOK:WRITE PRAY RECOVER:A JOURNEY TO WELLNESS THROUGH SPIRITUAL SOLUTIONS AND SELF CARE-CHAPTER 7:STRENGTH FROM WITHIN AND LOVE ALL AROUND “LOVE IS ALWAYS THE ANTIDOTE”

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I began by journaling about this twice a week, only allowing myself thirty minute 

increments to do so. This type of writing can bring up deeply suppressed emotions, and it did, leaving me feeling raw and naked. It was emotionally and physically draining, and it left me somewhat weak after the severe and deep sobbing it evoked. 

Please do not try this type of writing without a professional on standby to guide you.

Afterwards, I would practice some type of self-care that was healing for me: I would meditate, go for a walk, do some breath work, etc. Later,  I would come back to my writing to “reframe” how I would acknowledge and accept what I had discovered through my journaling. Also, I would plan how would I navigate it all in the future now that I had purged it. I was all cleaned out…for now. When it comes up again in the future, I now have an awareness of how I want to think, and how I want to respond to my emotions and feelings in a healthier way. 

In this space, I found deep empathy, compassion, and love for my mother, and I have been able to find the peace that I deserve, and to energetically offer my mother the compassion that she deserves. I could not understand any of this as a child or  as an unwell adolescent and adult myself. But, I totally get it now. Mental illness is in our DNA, and is exacerbated by our environment and lack of self-care, all of which were present in my life, in my parents’ lives, and in their parents’ lives. It is familial and generational. I believe that I have been able to break the chain using my own awareness, self regulation, trauma work, ongoing support, and most definitely my spiritual solutions and self-care practices. Whenever I begin to feel the anxiety creep in, I go back to read my “reframing” of the experiences written in my journal, I implement more extensive self care practices and spiritual solutions to support any dys-regulation that I may be experiencing. I have discovered forgiveness of my parents who just did not have the tools or awareness that I have been blessed to be given and to experience, as well as my deep faith. 

I do the same when I do my expressive writing to Steve. I surrender it all. It is a part of my past. I mindfully choose not to bring it into my present or project it into my future. As A Course In Miracles states, “I can choose peace rather than this.” And I do. In that peace, I am able to connect with my feelings of love and acceptance toward my parents , Steve, and for myself.

I have realized that my mom did the best that she could with what she

knew at the time, and the tools she had (basically none), and that she

lived with paralyzing fear and anxiety throughout her life.

I love my mother, and I miss her every day.

It was the same with my father. He did the best that he could with what

he knew, and with the tools that he had at the time. Also none. And he

lived with alcohol use disorder and a severe and persistent mental illness.

He numbed his pain with alcohol and other addictions.

I love my father. I think of him every day.

And it is the same for Steve. He did the best that he could with what he

knew in navigating our relationship with the tools that he had at the time.

I love Steve and think of him every day.

And it is the same for me. I did the best that I could in navigating all

of these challenges and relationships with what I knew and with the tools

that I had at the time.

I love the woman that I have become, and I take care of me every day.”

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

How we think determines our outcome – Love, Wendy

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“Living in chronic pain and experiencing physical challenges caused by an autoimmune disease can deplete your energy, enthusiasm and change the trajectory of one’s wellness.

However, I maintain that in spite of these challenges, I still have a remarkable brain, filled with knowledge and thirst to continue to saturate it with even more. For that I am grateful. I can still think, create, and serve others.

I have a gorgeous heart filled with love to give, and a deep capacity to receive.

Even if this disease should completely disable me, I will never allow it to define me.

It is always a choice to continue on even in the most challenging of circumstances.

It is about perspective, and the thoughts that we choose to lead us.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy