Tag: healthandwellness

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Off Duty:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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You don’t have to stop loving someone in order to stop accommodating the behaviors that are destroying your peace…You don’t have to keep participating in the cycle that leads to a wild goose chase.

If you are a follower of my work, you have read the words I write and speak often…”Peace begins with me” My peace is non-negotiable. My peace is my power. And most recently I made the decision to NOT share my whereabouts, relationships or activities on social media because I have come to realize that, “Privacy protects my peace.”

You can step away from an unhealthy relationship or situation, protect your peace, and allow one to live with the consequences of one’s own lack of emotional work.

Let go of trying to save them.
This isn’t abandonment.
This is a boundary.

One of the most important lessons that I have learned in my 14 years of recovery is that the only person I can save, change or heal…is myself.

There is a difference between “I don’t love you anymore.”and “I love you, but I am no longer willing to lose myself trying to save you.” Trust me…there is NO situation where we can save another unless we are asked to step in to assist…and even then, it is not our burden or work to carry. We can simply guide according to one’s stated desires and needs.


And perhaps the deepest healing is realizing that your nervous system doesn’t have to remain on duty for someone else’s life…otherwise, it tends to “arrest” our own lived experiences.

Affirm: “I am not responsible for rescuing people from places they choose to remain.”

Stand in your power…

“Peace begins with me.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

“Shhhh” Culture:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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Move Quietly.

Although I am a writer and an author with a following of wonderful souls…I’ve learned that not every move needs to be announced, explained, witnessed, or understood.

There is a stunning freedom in stepping out of the need to let others know where you are, what you’re doing, who you are with…or what comes next.

Peace comes from reclaiming that privacy.

Those who are walking beside me in real time will share the view. I no longer desire anyone observing my life from the sidelines.

I can simply live it.

Soft. Confident. Intentional. And just a little mysterious. 🤫✨

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Come Wonder With Me:Spiritual Wellness-“Soul Notes” – Love, Wendy

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Some of my deepest writing doesn’t begin with me sitting down to write…it begins at 2 or 3 a.m., when I awaken with words and vivid pictures already formed in my mind…

A spiritual bolt?

Another” awakening”?

Or simply the Universe refusing to let me sleep until I pay attention?…

Come wonder with me…

I’ve been developing a theory of spiritual wellness centered on four interconnected pillars which I have coined and copyrighted…

Connection, Consciousness, Curiosity, and Consistency and how their synergy can lead us toward deeper meaning.

This emerging theory has become the foundation of my upcoming book, Soul Notes, and I’m excited to share the beginning of this lifelong exploration with you…

COME WONDER WITH ME

I have questions that have awakened something in me.

Come wonder with me.

Because the more you explore, the more there is to explore.

The more you learn, the more you realize there is still so much to learn.

The more you question, the more questions you’ll have.

And perhaps there is no final chapter because we have not yet arrived.

Perhaps this is the journey.

At the heart of my upcoming book, Soul Notes, is a theory I have been developing and contemplating for a long time about spiritual wellness.

Not spirituality as a set of prescribed beliefs.

Not certainty.

Not having all the answers.

But an ongoing state of connection, consciousness, curiosity, and consistent exploration of meaning.

I propose that these are the four pillars of spiritual wellness:

CONNECTION
Our relationship with ourselves, with nature, with the gorgeous and mysterious Universe, and with the spiritual dimensions of our own subjective experiences.

CONSCIOUSNESS
The awareness that we are not isolated beings, but part of something larger connected to one another and to something beyond ourselves, soul to soul.

CURIOSITY
The willingness to keep questioning, exploring, discovering, and remaining open to a variety of eventualities that we may not yet understand…and perhaps we never will.

CONSISTENCY
The practice of returning to that exploration again and again, allowing ourselves to continue to question and wonder, while integrating what we discover into our lived experience in real time as we understand it.

Together, these four pillars create what I think of as a Synergistic Loop of Spiritual Wellness:

Connection → Consciousness → Curiosity → Consistency → Deeper Connection

Our curiosity drives us deeper into consciousness and connection.

Our consistency anchors those discoveries into our everyday lives.

And then we return to connection again…only a little deeper, a little more conscious, and with even more questions.

There most likely will never be a definitive answer.

And that is okay because…

The more I learn, the more I learn.
The more I question, the more questions I have.

And I find that exhilarating.

Because maybe spiritual wellness isn’t about finally arriving.

Maybe it is about remaining awake enough, curious enough, connected enough, and open enough to keep exploring…to continue to wonder.

There is no final chapter because I haven’t arrived.

And neither have you.

This is the journey.

This is Soul Notes.

Come wonder with me. 

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

STRUT…DON’T WALK:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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For years I walked around with gum stuck to the bottom of my shoe…slowing my pace and keeping me from moving forward.

Yesterday, I finally yanked off that stubborn, sticky piece of gum and threw it in the trash…

A twelve-year marathon that “trained” me to walk with discernment, and to never again dance with the devil.

No longer dragging my feet…

Strutting into my autonomy for the distance and finally standing in my power.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Restoration:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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Serenity and peace are an early Sunday morning walk, taken slowly and purposefully…listening to my favorite music and watching the pond water ripple as the wind gently blows across its surface.

Nowhere to rush to, but excited to get home to bake fresh gluten-free Chinese almond cookies…then enjoy a beautiful cup of coffee while looking around at the haven I’ve created and thinking about how far I’ve come in these past 14 years of recovery. My heart is filled with gratitude.

Serenity and peace are cultivated intentionally, in whatever ways we choose to create them.

Simple. Strategic. Single-handed.

Restoration isn’t complicated. It’s intentional.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

L-O-V-E:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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I observe three languages in today’s culture: love, hate, and indifference.

Indifference is often overlooked. Most people think the opposite of love is hate, but in many relationships, indifference can feel even more painful.

Hate still implies emotional investment…indifference communicates, “You no longer matter to me.”

Love often seems conditional. It is freely offered when there is agreement, admiration, or usefulness…yet quickly withdrawn when conflict, disappointment, or differing opinions arise.

Love seeks to understand.
Hate seeks to conquer.
Indifference simply walks away.

Our challenge is not merely to speak the language of love when it is easy, but to remain fluent in it when relationships become complicated, opinions differ, and disappointment enters the room. That is where the deepest measure of our humanity is found.

Increasingly, I notice how difficult it has become for many people to tolerate discomfort. A differing opinion often triggers a knee-jerk reaction rather than thoughtful reflection. One’s “version” of the “truth” can hold them hostage, leaving little room for integrity, transparency, or love. Instead, they “perform” indifference, living alone in fear with their “truth” rather than choosing honesty, vulnerability, and connection.

Love requires emotional maturity. It asks us to self-regulate, remain curious, and stay present even when we disagree.

Hate reacts.
Indifference withdraws.
Love chooses connection.

Too often, I see people unable—or perhaps unwilling—to pause long enough to choose love over reaction.

I invite you to develop the emotional capacity to disagree without dehumanizing one another. In a world increasingly divided by reaction, choosing love is one of the most courageous acts of our humanity.

We hold peace in our hands…

It is spelled L-O-V-E.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Coffee and Me:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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Every morning, my first sip of coffee tastes like the first time—stimulating, deeply relaxing, and completely fulfilling. I always look forward to the next morning, knowing I’ll experience that same simple pleasure again.

I wish relationships were as simple as this. I wish each new day began with that same eager anticipation as the first sip of coffee—and the quiet satisfaction that follows.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

“As Within, So Without…As Above, So Below”:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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Yesterday’s long drive home to myself…with all of its twists and turns, stops and starts, has led me to a road that has led me to the road home.

I begin today with a new mindset…

I am lighter today.

I give myself permission to live exactly as I am. No more apologies for my specific needs. No more stress over my “new normal.” No more trying to filter out my imperfections in order to create connection. No more trying to compete with my forty year-old self…just an eagerness and pride to meet myself where I am.

You cannot see my heart and soul, but with every interaction we have, I hope you will feel them.

That is the legacy I hope to leave behind.

Steve once wrote on one of my social media posts (November 4, 2015): “Agree with all of the above about your outer beauty, but the greater change has been internal, where your true beauty lives.”

This profound and loving sentiment reminds me that our greatest work is not the pursuit of perfection, but the courage to cultivate a loving relationship with ourselves first. When we give ourselves permission to live our truth—whatever that looks like—we become an example for others to do the same.

This is how loving relationships are built. Loving relationships become loving families, neighborhoods, and communities.

Everything begins within.

“As within, so without… as above, so below.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Driving Myself Home:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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There’s something about driving myself home after a meaningful weekend that creates space for truth to rise to the surface. The road is moving forward, and somehow our hearts begin moving forward too.

Acceptance isn’t giving up. It’s standing on solid ground instead of fighting reality. From there, every decision becomes clearer because I am no longer trying to be the woman I was ten years ago or the woman someone else expects me to be.

I’ve spent so much of my life taking care of others, pushing through pain, hoping relationships would become what my heart longed for, and expecting myself to keep doing everything as if my body hadn’t changed.

Acceptance doesn’t erase my dreams. It simply says, “This is where I am today, and I can build a beautiful life from here.”And I have.

This weekend showed me something important.

I experienced the joy of being surrounded by my family—the warmth, the connection, the feeling of belonging. At the same time, I experienced the physical realities of my body. After driving two hours to see my family, spending seven joyful hours with my grandchildren and loved ones, then rushing back to my hotel to get ready for a date, my lupus flared. My body swelled, I was in significant pain, and I became increasingly uncomfortable from pushing through hours of activity. Every moment with my family was worth it, but my body reminded me that it has limits I can no longer ignore.

Both things are true. Neither cancels out the other.

Sometimes the most meaningful insights don’t come when life is easy. They arrive on a quiet drive home—as they did for me this morning after leaving at 5:30 a.m.—with miles of road ahead and enough silence for both my heart and my logical mind to finally speak.

I realized that I’ve already built a life that fits who I am today.

I have people who meet me where I am, who understand my physical challenges and enjoy my company for all that I am. They offer a loving hand, a kind word, and genuine acceptance. I enjoy day trips, simple pleasures, nourishing meals, music that makes me smile—and even dance a little. I choose movement that strengthens my body instead of punishing it by expecting it to do what it could ten years ago. I have a career I truly love. And my family… they are my anchors.

I am blessed to have a full life.

If someone comes into my life who fits gently into it—someone who meets me where I am and loves me with all that I am—that would simply be the cherry on top.

And if not, I am still profoundly grateful.

Grateful to be alive.
Grateful to be mobile.
Grateful for my adorable little home.
Grateful for meaningful work.
Grateful to love and be loved.

It all begins with me accepting who I am and where I am in my life.

And from that place of acceptance, everything else becomes a gift.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Earned Access:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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A wall keeps danger out, but it also keeps love out.

A boundary is different. A boundary has a gate.
You decide who enters, how quickly, and under what conditions. You control the gate.

A boundary says, “I am open to connection, and I am observing. I will move at a pace that feels safe for me. I will always honor my needs before all else. I will not abandon myself to keep someone else.”
This is one of the greatest acts of self-care.

And once my spiritual intuition turns from yellow to green…our road is wide open. I embrace one fully and unconditionally.

I can let someone come closer, and I can still stay connected to myself.

The beautiful thing about a gate is that I still hold the key…and if the alignment feels right, the key can be duplicated—two keys, one home…where “me” becomes “we,” and both hearts choose to keep the gate open as we choose one another every day.

Reflection: Trust is not maintained by one person alone…it is something both people actively nurture, one moment at a time. Healthy love is both intentional and mutual…

Both people participate, nurture, and protect what they are building…

Earned access.

Love and blessings,

Wendy