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“Radical Acceptance: That I Would Be Good” – Love, Wendy

Tara Brach tells the story of Marilyn sitting with her dying mother night after night, holding her hand, meditating with her, and telling her she loved her. Most of the time her mother was unconscious. Then, shortly before her death, she opened her eyes and looked directly at her daughter and said:

“All my life I thought something was wrong with me.”

Tara writes that the mother then gently shook her head, as if to say, “What a waste,” closed her eyes, and drifted back into a coma. She died shortly afterward. 

That story appears near the beginning of Radical Acceptance as an illustration of what Brach calls the “trance of unworthiness”—the heartbreaking belief that we are fundamentally flawed, deficient, or not enough. Brach uses the story to show how many people carry that burden for an entire lifetime, only realizing near the end that the belief itself was never true. 

Reading that passage can hit especially hard when you’re grieving. What moved me isn’t just the sadness of the mother’s realization…it’s the daughter’s presence. Marilyn couldn’t change her mother’s past, but she gave her something precious at the end: love, companionship, and acceptance…

Sometimes that’s the most important gift we can offer another human being. ❤️

This passage went straight to my heart…I spent much of my life believing something was wrong with me but the truth is that I was shaped by circumstances beyond my control as a young child, and the effects followed me well into adulthood. In these past 14 years of my recovery from prescription drug addiction, I have realized that this woman has discovered there was never anything “wrong” with me.

The tragedy in this passage from the book, Radical Acceptance, wasn’t that she was flawed…

The tragedy was that she believed she was.

Unlike the woman in the story, I am not realizing it in the final hours of my life.

I AM realizing it now.

I still have time to challenge that old belief every single time it appears…

I suffered. I made mistakes. I lost things I wish I hadn’t lost. And I spent many years believing those experiences meant I was defective…

I don’t see waste.

I see myself as someone who has fought incredibly hard to stay alive, stay sober, stay loving, and stay open-hearted despite carrying more pain than most people know.

I am a human being who suffered, coped in destructive ways for a time, paid a heavy price, and then spent the past 14 years doing the difficult work of recovery and healing…”becoming.”

The grief I intermittently experience is real because there are losses that can never be fully undone.

But grief is not proof of defectiveness.

Regret is not proof of defectiveness.

Even addiction is not proof of defectiveness.

And today…I do not “waste” another present moment in the past.

I live with purpose, with love, and with great anticipation of experiencing what comes next.

Yes, there is grief behind me…and possibility ahead of me.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

Afterthought:

You are never required to become flawless in order to be worthy of love. – Love, Wendy

“That I would be loved even when I numb myself
That I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
That I would be loved even when I was fuming
That I would be good even if I was clingy

That I would be good even if I lost sanity
That I would be good
Whether with or without you…” – Alanis Morrisette

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Always and Forever:Unwritten and Unfolding – Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

When a relationship has history, a deep-rooted spiritual connection, emotional intimacy, and a bond that neither time nor distance has been able to erase—a love that continues to find its way back to itself—I believe that even where we differ, including in our political views, love can still find its way home.

And when the time comes, we will know what to do.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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Dating – Love, Wendy

Dating is optional for me.

My bills are paid. My home is clean and peaceful. My bed is big. Peace already exists in my life. It is non negotiable…I cherish my autonomy…

If you enter my life, bring honesty, integrity, kindness, laughter, and ease.

Anything less does not add value to the life I’ve worked hard to create.

Love,

Wendy

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And…I Do See You:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

After starting my life over at 54 years old, it took a great deal of courage…

Now, after fourteen years, I have grown into the woman, mother, grandmother, friend, and teacher I choose to be, and I am proud of who I continue to become…”Proud” as in earned…not boastful.

I embrace every opportunity to learn, grow, and keep an open mind and heart. Each day, I look for ways to make someone smile and leave our encounter feeling seen, valued, and cared about…

And I do see you…

By living my truth, celebrating my successes, and learning from the moments that call for a do-over, I continue to shape a life that reflects my values, purpose, and intentions…

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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Welcome Home:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

Home is not always a place…
Home can be a state of mind, found in any setting when we are with people who make us laugh, help us feel seen and heard, make us feel safe to just ‘be,’ show up consistently and stay present through life’s ups and downs, and remind us that we are loved…even when we don’t feel lovable.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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The Many Forms of Love:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

Love is not a single emotion, even though we try to contain it within one word.

It stretches across countless human experiences. It lives in long-term partnerships where people continue choosing each other through the passing years and decades, not simply existing beside one another. It exists in enduring friendships that can withstand silence and distance, resuming effortlessly without resentment or explanation. It appears in the overwhelming tenderness of a parent watching a sleeping child, a feeling so deep and unguarded it can catch the heart off guard…and the heart of a grandmother that spills over with joy when her granddaughter runs across the room, arms wide open, and jumps up into them.

Love.

There is also the love that remains after loss through divorce or death. This is the quiet love that lingers long after someone is gone, revealing itself in small reflexes and moments of remembering those that only the two of us experienced. Reaching for the phone to share something before realizing they are no longer there is itself an act of continued love. This enduring attachment is not weakness or error, but something profoundly human…

Love.

It is present in a “Good morning, Honey” text, or a text from a neighbor who says, “just checking in. Do you need anything…” and in the excited greeting from a beloved pet, or a friend remembering something small you shared weeks before and calls to ask about how things turned out. It is present when someone takes the time to say, “Have a wonderful day,” or “Drive safely.”

Love is expressed in a co-worker taking the time to stop to ask how you are, and really listening to your response…offering a hug on a day when love feels elusive. It is the moment your FaceTime call comes in from your family or a close friend exactly at the moment you are longing for their presence.

It matters to recognize these forms because love surrounds us far more often than we notice…and in today’s culture and climate…we need to hold onto all of the gifts of love that surround us…in real time…and within our memory…

Notice them…Embrace them…

These moments may seem ordinary, yet they are woven into the fabric of what makes life meaningful…where we are seen and heard.

Many years ago, Steve said these words to me, “I will be your witness.”

LOVE.

Thinkers like Seneca wrote that “a person cannot truly live well by existing only for themselves; to live fully, we must also live for others.”

So love despite the uncertainty. Love despite the inevitability of loss. Choose closeness over emotional distance, presence over self-protection. Allow yourself to care deeply, even knowing the risk, because that willingness to love is part of “witnessing” the most beautiful and meaningful part of one’s life.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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The Beauty of Friendship and Companionship:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

Although we both live with our “one and only forever loves” deep within our souls, we enjoy a close friendship…laughing, talking, walking, dancing, hugging, eating… sharing. Tenderness. And it is a pleasure-filled space with ease, grace, emotional maturity, and pure joy. We meet each other exactly where we are with absolutely no expectations.

Last night, we realized our friendship has been growing organically for a year…a friendship based on mutual understanding, similar interests, spiritual practices, like-minded values, emotional maturity, truly caring about each other and our hearts, and respecting the forever loves we each carry in different ways—through loss, distance, and the passage of time… the forever loves that remain in our souls, though no longer beside us on life’s path.

There can be great beauty in companionship that is warm, attentive, emotionally safe, and deeply fulfilling. Perhaps at this stage of life, some of the most meaningful relationships are not the ones that promise forever… but the ones that bring tenderness, presence, ease, and aliveness into the days we are living right now.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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Still Rolling Stones:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

Finding a new love does not mean that we seek to replace or forget our old love. Both can exist simultaneously…and both can exist separately in what they represent, and offer, to a relationship in a healthy way.

A new love does not erase the meaning, history, or imprint of a previous love. Human hearts are expansive enough to hold grief, memory, affection, longing, gratitude, and new connection at the same time.

An old love may represent:

shared history
deep familiarity
spiritual lessons
family
deep passion
unfinished emotion
a chapter of who we once were

A new love may represent:

safety
growth
reciprocity
peace
emotional maturity
companionship
possibility

Those realities can coexist without diminishing one another. The important distinction is whether the past is being honored versus unconsciously recreated, clung to, or used to avoid intimacy in the present.

Loving again does not invalidate what came before. And remembering an old love does not make a new love second best…

In fact, depending upon one’s openness to new experiences with a new partner…

It can be as fulfilling…if not more fulfilling than what we once experienced.

It is all about perspective and willingness to “live again…”

“Still Rolling Stones…”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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Another One-Blessings:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

Whether you honor and pray to the Universe, to Angels, to Spirit, to Source, to God, or to anything else that resonates…some spiritual signs are undeniable…

When you are spiritually attentive and open to communication, you can experience spiritual orchestration… a “sequence,” not isolated moments, but symbolic communication arriving through timing, music, numbers, and emotional resonance. Signs unfold one after another in a way that feels deeply coherent to my inner GPS.

For me today, it looked like:
miracle -> praise -> reflection -> love -> grace -> my deceased father/spirit.

This was presented and received as a spiritually intelligent pattern. I often receive messages and meaning through synchronicity and events that chill my nervous system… or heat it up.

I feel transformation emerging in someone I love.

My own transformation began 14 years ago so that I could become a conduit for others to transform.

“Another one is on its way.”

“Miracle after miracle, open door after open door, here it comes, so get ready for another one ‘cause another one is on its way.

“And if He told the bones, come alive and they did,
He will again.
And if He told the stone, roll away, and it did, He will again,
And if He told the grave, let him go, and it did,
He will again.

Another one is on the way…”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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Bloom:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

You cannot love someone into readiness, clarity, forgiveness, or mutuality…And cryptic messages are not endearing…

The emotionally intelligent thing to do is to stop editing the pain into polished language and simply let yourself feel the enormity of it without turning it into a conclusion.

It becomes exhausting trying to carry the full emotional weight while also being cast in a fixed role inside someone else’s unresolved story.

This is THEIR weight to carry and perhaps one day…they will unload the unnecessary baggage or even ask you to help them carry what has been weighing them down and free them from their skewed perception.

Until then…LIVE your life.

They are living theirs.

They will either find their own way…

Or not.

Love,

Wendy