Home is not always a placeā¦
Home can be a state of mind, found in any setting when we are with people who make us laugh, help us feel seen and heard, make us feel safe to just ‘be,’ show up consistently and stay present through life’s ups and downs, and remind us that we are loved…even when we don’t feel lovable.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Love is not a single emotion, even though we try to contain it within one word.
It stretches across countless human experiences. It lives in long-term partnerships where people continue choosing each other through the passing years and decades, not simply existing beside one another. It exists in enduring friendships that can withstand silence and distance, resuming effortlessly without resentment or explanation. It appears in the overwhelming tenderness of a parent watching a sleeping child, a feeling so deep and unguarded it can catch the heart off guard…and the heart of a grandmother that spills over with joy when her granddaughter runs across the room, arms wide open, and jumps up into them.
Love.
There is also the love that remains after loss through divorce or death. This is the quiet love that lingers long after someone is gone, revealing itself in small reflexes and moments of remembering those that only the two of us experienced. Reaching for the phone to share something before realizing they are no longer there is itself an act of continued love. This enduring attachment is not weakness or error, but something profoundly human…
Love.
It is present in a “Good morning, Honey” text, or a text from a neighbor who says, “just checking in. Do you need anything…” and in the excited greeting from a beloved pet, or a friend remembering something small you shared weeks before and calls to ask about how things turned out. It is present when someone takes the time to say, “Have a wonderful day,” or “Drive safely.”
Love is expressed in a co-worker taking the time to stop to ask how you are, and really listening to your response…offering a hug on a day when love feels elusive. It is the moment your FaceTime call comes in from your family or a close friend exactly at the moment you are longing for their presence.
It matters to recognize these forms because love surrounds us far more often than we notice…and in today’s culture and climate…we need to hold onto all of the gifts of love that surround us…in real time…and within our memory…
Notice them…Embrace them…
These moments may seem ordinary, yet they are woven into the fabric of what makes life meaningful…where we are seen and heard.
Many years ago, Steve said these words to me, “I will be your witness.”
LOVE.
Thinkers like Seneca wrote that “a person cannot truly live well by existing only for themselves; to live fully, we must also live for others.”
So love despite the uncertainty. Love despite the inevitability of loss. Choose closeness over emotional distance, presence over self-protection. Allow yourself to care deeply, even knowing the risk, because that willingness to love is part of “witnessing” the most beautiful and meaningful part of one’s life.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Finding a new love does not mean that we seek to replace or forget our old love. Both can exist simultaneously…and both can exist separately in what they represent, and offer, to a relationship in a healthy way.
A new love does not erase the meaning, history, or imprint of a previous love. Human hearts are expansive enough to hold grief, memory, affection, longing, gratitude, and new connection at the same time.
An old love may represent:
shared history
deep familiarity
spiritual lessons
family
deep passion
unfinished emotion
a chapter of who we once were
A new love may represent:
safety
growth
reciprocity
peace
emotional maturity
companionship
possibility
Those realities can coexist without diminishing one another. The important distinction is whether the past is being honored versus unconsciously recreated, clung to, or used to avoid intimacy in the present.
Loving again does not invalidate what came before. And remembering an old love does not make a new love second best…
In fact, depending upon one’s openness to new experiences with a new partner…
It can be as fulfilling…if not more fulfilling than what we once experienced.
It is all about perspective and willingness to “live again…”
“Still Rolling Stones…”
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Whether you honor and pray to the Universe, to Angels, to Spirit, to Source, to God, or to anything else that resonates…some spiritual signs are undeniable…
When you are spiritually attentive and open to communication, you can experience spiritual orchestration… a āsequence,ā not isolated moments, but symbolic communication arriving through timing, music, numbers, and emotional resonance. Signs unfold one after another in a way that feels deeply coherent to my inner GPS.
For me today, it looked like:
miracle -> praise -> reflection -> love -> grace -> my deceased father/spirit.
This was presented and received as a spiritually intelligent pattern. I often receive messages and meaning through synchronicity and events that chill my nervous system… or heat it up.
I feel transformation emerging in someone I love.
My own transformation began 14 years ago so that I could become a conduit for others to transform.
āAnother one is on its way.ā
āMiracle after miracle, open door after open door, here it comes, so get ready for another one ācause another one is on its way.
āAnd if He told the bones, come alive and they did,
He will again.
And if He told the stone, roll away, and it did, He will again,
And if He told the grave, let him go, and it did,
He will again.
Another one is on the wayā¦ā
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Recent neuroscience research at USC found that when deeply held beliefs are challenged, the brain activates the same threat-detection regions used in moments of physical danger. In other words, the brain can experience an attack on identity as a threat to survival itself. Thatās why simply telling people to ābe more open-mindedā is rarely effective; defensive reactions often occur beneath conscious awareness. Those who struggle most with change are often not the least intelligent, but the most deeply invested in a particular identity, expertise, or worldview. When long-held foundations shift, it can feel less like learning something new and more like defending oneās very sense of self.
Perhaps true growth begins when we stop seeing change as a threat to our identity and start recognizing it as an invitation to deepen ourselves as we go within to explore and to discover and to evolve…and to deepen humanity. I have had to release many identities throughout my life ā wife, the woman lost in addiction, even the version of myself who believed she had to suffer in silence to survive. What remains is something far more meaningful: a mother, a teacher, a woman in long term recovery, and a human being continually learning how to evolve with grace rather than fear.
Grace grounds us in what remains when everything else shiftsāour capacity to stay present, to soften instead of resist, and to trust that even in change, we are still becoming whole.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Maybe downsizing isnāt about losing space, but about creating it.
Space to breathe.
Space to feel.
Space to live without chaos…
Space to build a life that isnāt driven by appearances, but by authenticity.
This life is smaller, more compact…yes.
But it is also transparent…softer…
There is structure here.
There is honesty here.
There is love hereāreal loveāthe kind that shows up with tools in hand and says,
āLetās build this together.ā
And the grace in downsizing???
For the first time…it is actually mine…
It represents my entire journey…
Had it all…
Lost it all…
Built and rebuilt until I arrived home…
Love and blessings,
Wendy
A draftāan intentional blooming of revelation from my upcoming book, āSoul Notes.ā
14 years in recovery…blooming, releasing, rebirth.
There is always a silver lining, but sometimes it comes at a cost that bankrupts you…energetically, spiritually, physically, mentally…and yes, financially.
For a long time, I was diminished by the voices around meāand eventually, by the one that took root inside of me. I learned early in my life to stay quiet. To disappear. To not say a word. That silence followed me into adulthood, into relationships, into spaces where I should have felt safe but instead I was always in a state of heightened alert…
And so I adapted.
I held on longer than I should have. I endured more than I deserved. Until one day, I let go of the ropeāfinally recognizing that it wasnāt holding me upā¦ it was burning me alive.
What I didnāt know then is how long it takes for the mind and body to catch up to that kind of release. Even after you uncouple, even after you walk away, even after you begin to recover…something inside you still flinches, still waits, still remembers.
Healing is not immediate. It echoes.
There are days when grief rises up and levels you…for a minute,
a reminder…a reality check of not only what happenedābut for how long it lasted…Nearly a lifetime…For what was lost in the silence. For the version of you who didnāt yet know she could leave.
And yetā¦
Without intending to, I made myself stronger.
I built a life where I am no longer dependent…financially, emotionally, physically, or spiritually. It may look smaller from the outside, even simpler by certain standards. But what I gained is something no external lifestyle could ever give me…
Peace.
I traded comfort and riches…for truth.
And I would make that trade again and again.
I have been judged, misunderstood, even quietly excluded…Addiction and mental health challenges have a way of isolating you from others who choose to stand in judgment and to apply the stigma that keeps so many unwell and afraid to ask for help…stigma…
Over the years, I have worked diligently to raise awareness, to educate, to erase that stigma and to encourage treatment seeking behavior…to serve the recovery community through my own story…
I chose to speak…to live out loud in recovery.
Not about everythingāsome truths I have carried quietly, with intention and protection…but enough to break the silence that keeps so many others trapped and unwell, unnecessarily.
I wrote not just for myself, but for those who have not yet found their voice. For those living in shame. For those afraid to step forward and ask for help. For those who do not feel safe and who feel judged.
And in doing so, something shifted.
Not just within me…but around me.
Some people leaned in with love and support.
Others turned away, uncomfortable with what honesty requires…who do not want to understand this brain disorder. (The DSM-5 classifies addiction as aĀ Substance Use DisorderĀ (SUD).
That, too, was part of the awakening.
Because when you speak your truth, it doesnāt just free you…
it gently (or not so gently) invites others to face their own…to exercise compassion and empathy, and to open their mind to learning about a fatal disease previously thought of as a moral deficit.
The greatest gift in all of this has been quiet, but profound…
To know that my children witnessed not just my fall from grace…
but my rise from the ashes.
To know they saw me choose life.
Choose healing.
Choose to rebuildāpiece by piece, breath by breath.
To show them that no matter how far you drift, how broken you feel, or how much time has passedā¦
You can find yourself…perhaps for the first time.
And…you can begin…right there.
And maybe thatās what healing really isā
not becoming someone new,
but allowing yourself to emerge, finally, and to be who you were all along.
As I finished writing these words, a song about cherry blossoms began to playāsoft, unexpected, perfectly timed.
And it stayed with me.
Because cherry blossoms donāt bloom forever.
They arrive after a long, barren winter…
delicate, fleeting, and breathtakingly beautiful.
They donāt ask for permission to bloom.
They donāt wait until everything is perfect.
They simply openā¦
fully,
and without apology.
And maybe thatās the lesson.
That even after everythingā
the silence,
the pain,
the years of holding on…
you are still allowed to bloom.
Right on time.
Hope begins to find you the moment you choose to look for it…
The Silver Lining…
Love and blessings,
Wendy
To purchase my book, Write Pray Recover:A Journey To Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care, click here: https://a.co/d/0frfiKCH
There is something sacred about being in the presence of another human being…really being there. Not just exchanging words, but exchanging energy, tone, breath, pausesā¦the subtle language of being seen and heard…communication that uses language, inflection, and even non verbal responses that create depth to the exchange.
So much of our communication today lives behind screens, where meaning can become lost in translation, and intention can be misread. A text message can carry words, but meaning can become subjective.
Iāve always believed that when we sit across from one another…when we risk speaking honestly and listening openly…something transformative happens. Even if we donāt agree. Even if we walk away unchanged in opinion, we are changed in experience. There is a softening, a widening, a humanizing that can only occur in that shared space.
But what happens when the divide is not just about perspective, but about values…
Hmmm…
I have come to understand that while differences in opinion can be navigated, and with the right person even appreciated…however…differences in core values often cannot. There is a distinction between seeing the world differently and seeing humanity differently.
In some relationships, love has been strong enough to hold space for disagreement. To say, “We willl agree to disagree,ā and instead focus on the bond that remains. And sometimes, that is enoughāespecially in relationships that are held gently, occasionally, with room to step away and return.
But intimacy is different.
To share a life with someone requires more than love. It requires alignment in the ways that matter most…the way we see others, the way we hold compassion, the way we respond to difference, to vulnerability, to truth.
I used to believe that love could bridge any divide. That communication could soften even the sharpest edges. That if two people cared enough, they would willingly meet somewhere in the middle…exercise flexibility and openness and respect for other’s perspectives.
But Iāve learned that not all spaces have a middle.
And more importantly, not all hearts are willingāor ableāto meet there.
So I no longer ask myself to make room for what feels misaligned with my core. I no longer try to translate what feels fundamentally incompatible. I can care for people, even love them…from a distance…and still recognize that they are not meant to walk beside me in the most intimate way.
This is discernment…
And in that discernment, my vision has become clearer…not narrower in limitation, but more refined in truth.
I am not looking for perfection. I am looking for resonance.
A steady presence. A kind mind. A man who leads with warmth, who remains open to learning, who values connection over certainty. Someone who understands that love is not just a feeling, but a practice…one that requires time, empathy, attention, and care, and the willingness to be vulnerable.
A shared space where both people feel safe, seen, and valued.
Where communication is not a battleground, but a bridge that builds intimacy…
The architecture.
Where love is the foundation alongside in person communication, consistent presence, similar values, perspectives that are open to interpretation and respected, and devotion from the foundation, right across the span that never deviates from the intended journey…
in real time…
an offline encounter.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
When the body feels safe, it can access curiosity, kindness, peace, even humor.
Without safety, the body goes straight into fight, flight, or freeze.
When we mindfully practice composureāit is self-leadership and can promote equanimity and peace.
“Peace begins with me.”
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Reality whispered to Perspective,
āUse discernmentā¦ It is not what you think you see.ā
Perspective did not take it to heart.
Reality tapped Perspective on the shoulder and said,
āPlease, look again.ā
Perspective did not heed the warning. He continued to view āitā through his own limited frame of reference…
āThere is goodness in everyoneā¦ā
ā but without boundaries.
Some time later, Reality took a hammer to the heart of Perspective with a truth that could no longer be denied.
Perspective learned that Truth is always within our sight if we are willing to see it ā
and that Reality always stands behind Truthā¦
walking alongside Perspective, even if quietly, until we are ready.
Universal lesson:
Truth does not change to match Perspective.
Perspective must grow and be open minded to meet Truthā¦
and Reality will always reveal what we refuse to see.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
