BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

SUD/AUD/MENTAL ILLNESS: THE HUMPTY DUMPTY SYNDROME – LOVE, WENDY

Families become broken, and many times destroyed…an irreperable family unit, when one or more family members lives with untreated Substance Use Disorder/Alcohol Use Disorder, and/or mental illness.

When the family member(s) living with these disorders gets well and makes amends, as well as sustainable lifestyle changes, and implements new healthy daily practices, the family can heal. Baby steps.

And, sometimes the deep wounds will never heal. Other family members are not willing to do the work. They are unwilling to forgive, unwilling to empathize, have been deeply traumatized, and/or they may be living with these disorders themselves and choose not to make changes that align with wellness.

The work that is necessary to achieve wellness requires that one take a very close look at their own actions, thoughts, and behaviors. They must want to create healthy change as their loved one(s) has done. They must work to unlearn unhealthy practices that contribute to the unhealthy family dynamic. If they decide that this work is too challenging and it is not work they are willing to put forth, this family is living in what I call the “Humpty Dumpty Syndrome.”

Either each family member does their own healing individually, and together with the family…ongoing and willingly, and if not, “All the  Kings horses and all the kings men cannot put Humpty together again.”

Substance Use Disorder/Alcohol Use Disorder, and mental illness are family diseases.

Love,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

AN EXPERIENCE OF SUDDEN TRAUMA ON MARCH 16, 2022: S.P.E.A.R. AND S.W.I.M. INTO WELLNESS IN REAL TIME WITH ME:A TRUE STORY – LOVE, WENDY

I am coming from a place of wellness today, although I am on a never ending journey of wellness. And, you can choose to follow my self created wellness program, S.P.E.A.R. AND S.W.I.M INTO WELLNESS, if it resonates. This is my “Integrative Approach to Recovery.” Recovery from anything.

Yesterday, the Universe said to me, “I need you to walk the talk today.” I do not believe that this was a test of my trust, or my devotion to God or to myself, as this is part of my daily wellness regimen, but as a reminder of my own inner strength, and that of my unbreakable bond with God, and my implicit trust in my own knowledge and choices. And to remind myself of the wide variety of holistic tools that I have in my possession, at a moment’s notice, even as I found myself in a sudden traumatic experience.

In two weeks, I will begin my 10th year of “wellness recovery” from substance use disorder and mental illness. I could not be more proud of how I took over the trajectory of a sudden traumatic experience and turned it into a spiritual lesson.

What a day yesterday turned out to be, March 16, 2022…

It had become increasingly more difficult and painful to walk, to move my wrists, and extremities in these past few months, and most especially the past couple of weeks. I decided to hire a new group of specialists as I was guided by Spirit. The signs kept showing me, specifically, where to seek help, and it was shown to be of imminent importance. I always say that when we are open, and have a spiritual relationship with the Universe, we see and hear beyond our physical limitations.

I saw the first orthopedic specialist early in the morning. She took the time to actually show me and to explain my MRI results. Heartbreaking. I am diagnosed, in addition to Lupus and Osteoporosis, severe degenerative disc disease. And stenosis. At the base of my spine, there is a disc bulging backwards onto the spine and compressing the nerve. This is the reason for the complete numbness, pain, and weakness, widespread. My face, neck, arms, back, legs, feet. Debilitating.

She injected me in my backside, (yup), with a very high dose of steroids as she explained that the “nerve was very angry” and this would “calm it down.” She sent me home to rest until I would see the second specialist, a pain management specialist, late in the afternoon. The burning from the injection was unbearable, on top of the excruciating pain, and I rested until I had to leave for pain management.

This is where I stand in my power. As debilitating as the pain was, barely able to drive, sit, stand, or walk, the first thing that I shared with these new doctor’s was my history with substance use disorder. “I do not take any narcotics” I explained. And gave some important information to help them to understand my decision. Believe me, I don’t think anyone would have worried about me yesterday if I had asked for pain meds. That was the level of “off the chart” pain I was experiencing, and had been for weeks affecting my entire quality of life. However, the doctor’s were so supportive, and assured me that there were many options, one being an epidural. And, of course continuing my walking and PT as I can, with an emphasis on my mindful breathing and visualization for calming, healthy eating, hydration, and my regular daily wellness routine.

The epidural will be at a later date, as yesterday I was given a total of 11 more injections at the pain management doctor’s office, right into my back, and yes, again, into my backside. These injections were filled with a very strong additional anti-inflammatory, and other drugs to numb the nerve that was “so angry.” It was so traumatic. The painful injections, one after another, were relentless. Immediately, I reminded myself of my visualization and breathing strategy that is my first “go-to” for calming and focus. I did not want to tense up knowing this would only exacerbate the pain. I went within, into my mind to visualize a color that I assign to hope, and then “breathed in hope.” And then breathed out a color that I had assigned to pain. “Breathe out the pain.” Slowly, and purposefully, breathe, focus on my vision, listen to my breath, and guide my thoughts to healing.

Although this is not something I will “heal” from, they tell me they can absolutely manage the pain, numbness, and mobility. I cried afterwards. Sobbed. Hysterically. Partially from the fear that I had felt, and mostly for the gratitude of pain relief and almost immediate movement of my wrists. My greatest worry was that I would lose the ability to walk, or be in a wheelchair. I said to the doctor, “Just tell me the truth. As long as I have my brain, I can make peace with anything. I just want to continue to serve and to do the work that I love.” As he smiled at me with great empathy, His answer was, Aww, not a chance that this will happen.”

He did prescribe a medication, long term, for skeletal, muscle and joint pain (non narcotic) that has proved effective, and when I wasn’t sure, he said, “You have no quality of life, its all hands on deck now.” Yes, I had just said that to a close friend the other day. “I have no quality of life.”

I will be honest and say that my greatest inspiration for the healthy choices that I made yesterday, including how I “reframed” the sudden traumatic experience was to be a shining example for my children in the face of acute adversity. Throughout the entire day yesterday, my children were texting and calling, along with my closest friends. I wanted to lead by example so that my children, would witness my strength and my decision to stay in control of my mind, and in the face of great adversity, to choose wellness through healthy practices and self care. I made an immediate decision to practice all that I teach in my book and in my trainings. S.PE.A.R. first. Then S.W.I.M. (Chapter 6 of Write Pray Recover) I listened to God’s request to “walk the talk.” I had prayed in the morning, and countless mornings prior, to be led to the doctors who could provide empathy, relief and healing, and God ALWAYS has the last word.

Thy will be done.

And so it is.

My son was extremely worried and was being challenged to remain calm by what he was observing. I knew that this experience was a spiritual opportunity to be the “spiritual first responder” that I am in showing him (and my daughters) that I took the time to self regulate, and to S.P.E.A.R. AND S.W.IM. To stop, pause, allow myself to emote as I needed to release, and that my reframe was all about allowing myself to feel how I felt in those hours, then practicing acceptance during the time of the injections and in accepting my new “normal” for my health, and choosing to stay in control, and then re-aligning with myself and God, and reframing this experience as an opportunity to enhance my wellness, and my spiritual connection, and most importantly, to provide for my children a perspective of responding to adversity and challenge through a wider lens. A lens of mindful wellness, self regulation, and self care. And, being proactive in my health and wellness decisions and goals.

It is a choice.

Although I did not sleep much last night, the numbness is 90% gone, and my mobility has increased about 50%. I am moving slowly, and the doctor tells me that by Sunday, I should be feeling much better.

As my son said to me early in my recovery, and that I talk about in my new book, Write Pray Recover:A Journey To Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care, “slow and steady wins the race.” Great advice in every situation.

This is my newest testimony of prayer, a spiritual relationship, and taking control of my mind in every situation using my S.P.E.A.R. AND S.W.I.M. INTO WELLNESS program where I use an integrative approach to wellness.

It ALL begins with the awareness of what I want for myself, how I want to feel, how I want to serve others through my experiences, and enhancing that of my own wellness.

I hope you will find the time to read my book, and adapt the practices that resonate with you.

We really do make the choice in what part of our mind that we “feed.” Illness, or wellness.

Email me at wendyblanchard044@gmail.com if you would like to learn more, and work with me in reaching your own health and wellness goals through an integrative approach.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

SUGGESTIONS FOR CENTEREDNESS DURING THESE CHALLENGING DAYS- LOVE, WENDY

  1. Ask yourself what “self soothing”/resiliency tool you need in this moment to feel at peace, and for wellness.
  2. Limit intake of news sources. Turn off phone notifications. 
  3. Honor your feelings through a healthy practice including talking/writing about your feelings/emotions. Share with a trusted loved one or professional.
  4. Use a mindfulness strategy that feels centering for you to realign with yourself and with God/Spirit/Universe. (Body scan, Pranayama, Kundalini, etc.) I love to use my breath and visualization for joy/peace to re-align. Our breath is our most accessible tool that we have in real time to intervene with our physiology. We can also use movement and visualization to assist us in de-escalation.
  5. Check in with your body often throughout the day. It will always tell you what you need. (Rest, deep breaths, food, water, connection, etc.) Allow yourself to take frequent “brain/body/Spirit breaks”.
  6. And remember, connection is key to our mental wellness which is directly related to our physical wellness.

Lastly, stay connected to God/Universe/Spirit, or whatever “ Enlightening/Guiding Source” resonates with you. 

For information on how I can support you during these challenging times, body, mind and spirit, email me at wendyblanchard044

Love and blessings always,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

“Look Up Child” – Love, Wendy

“When I am in doubt, and when I am feeling uncertainty about my next steps for myself, and those that I am connected to, I ask, in prayer, for God‘s voice to speak above mine, above all the noise.

After all, it is His Voice that is the most evolved, He who knows all, and He who always guides me to my most loving and highest blessings.

As I listen beyond my physical limitations in prayer and meditation, I hear the answers clearly.

And, I remind myself that I am free to make a choice.

I always choose to be aligned with God/Spirit/Universe.

“I hear you say, Look Up Child.”

Love, Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

CHAPTER 8 – FEARLESS, FAITH AND FREEDOM:NEVER LET YOUR FEAR DECIDE YOUR FUTURE – LOVE, WENDY

“When we are living with family circumstances beyond our control, and we have attempted, unsuccessfully, to help to resolve what we know is about to become an irreparable and irreversible situation, we must ”give it over.”

Thy will be done.

As I write about in my book, Write Pray Recover, in Chapter 8, “In the past, I would have been too afraid to walk away with the “what ifs” plaguing me…I refuse to place myself in any situation that is so toxic and unhealthy. I will never allow another human being, no matter who they are, to jeopardize my wellness or my recovery. I have done my work, and continue to do so, fearlessly. If someone else continues to infuse me with their toxicity, I have the tools to say, “No.” No matter what. No matter who it is. “No.”

My wellness is my responsibility and my priority. In the future, if she is able and willing to seriously seek the help that she needs, I will guide her. But nothing more. We must choose to be pro-active in our wellness, and in our evolution.

That’s it.

I pray for her and for her family. And I am at peace with it all.

Most of the time.

I pray for His strength daily. I pray for His loving arms to be wrapped around her, protecting her at all times.

I pray. I pray. I pray.

There before the grace of God go I.”

One of the questions that I pose at the end of this chapter is one you may want to contemplate:

“What are you afraid of? What are your top two greatest fears? What, or whom, are you afraid of losing if you simply say, “No?” Write about it.”

You can purchase my book on Amazon and Barnes and Noble online, as well as Kindle and Nook. Or click here: https://writeprayrecover.com

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

LIVING A DOUBLE LIFE – LOVE, WENDY

“When one lives a “double life,” it has nothing to do with their loved ones. It truly is all about experiencing lack inside of themselves that they need to reconcile. They have not yet found the courage to do so. But, they know their truth.

I do not even believe it is about greed, or lack of love for their significant other and family.

There is a deficit within and they are searching high and low, left and right, up and down, in any relationship and/or situation for that missing piece of themselves. Wanting to be showered with outside validation due to their lack of self esteem and confidence of who they truly are.

When we are not loved and cared for properly as a child by the people who are tasked with our protection and care, we grow up believing that we are not worthy. We seek validation of ourselves from outside sources because we do not have the innate love of self.

I believe we all have the awareness of our truth. I believe that if one is willing to do the intense inner work to recognize the beautiful soul that they are, to unlearn the unhealthy thoughts and behaviors that have become lifelong habits, and to put in the work to actually discover who they are, they do eventually fall in love with themselves! And they begin to understand the effects of their old behaviors. A spiritual awakening.

Here is the space where they learn how to love and respect others.

I was in a long term relationship where I actually knew that this was going on right under my nose. As recently as 2021, I was still observing his pathological behaviors, although I had left that relationship 4 years ago.

I thought my love would save him.

We can only save ourselves when we have had enough of our own crap, and when we are fully ready.

I know because I saved myself when I had finally had enough of my own crap nine years ago.

I begin my 10th year of recovery on April 3, 2022. I love and respect the woman, mom, grandmother, friend, and colleague that I have transformed into from the shallow, lost, unhealthy, deceitful and scared “little girl” that I once was.

My spiritual journey has led me home.

Set small goals one step at a time, one hour at a time, one day at a time. At the end of the week, reflect upon your successes, and what you would still like to improve upon. We are always learning and growing. Take your time. There is no rush. Immerse yourself in every beautiful lesson that you experience as you get to know your authentic self.

Ask for spiritual support and guidance.

When we ask for Spirit to guide us into a healthy, honest and fulfilling life, we learn how to release the trauma, reframe the trauma in order to move forward, and to create healthy lifestyle change, body, mind and spirit.

Listen to your awareness. It is the way to freedom.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

A Call to Action for Empathy, Patience, and Grace: We are all on the same team – Love, Wendy

We are all experiencing challenges, loss, illness, and other situations that we may not be aware of in others lives.

I observed a man screaming at the deli counter employee the other day. Both men were so angry and using words that were so offensive and demeaning to the other. Neither “paused” to remind themselves that “not cutting the turkey thin enough” was not the real issue. I observed so much anger. The consumer went to the manager to complain.

As I listened to him tell his story, I wondered to myself what this man has experienced that has made him so angry. 

Here is where I pause. Here is where I empathize with another precious soul. Here is where I recognize that we are all one in this global experience of a pandemic, of loss, of disease. 

And I choose to take a spiritually aligned action. Empathy, patience, and grace.

We are always one. We all have the same experiences, emotions, and thoughts that connect us. It is the human condition. 

It is how we choose to respond rather than react that changes the trajectory of the outcome.

In another incident, I entered the market where I live, and a man came out of nowhere with an “angry, deliberate, and aggressive walk.” I stopped as I noticed him barreling towards me. He stopped. He gave me a chilling look and shouted, “Well, go ahead!!!” I smiled and said, “Thank you.” He answered, “You’re welcome.” In truth, for a few minutes my heart was racing and my own anxiety was escalating because I too felt angry that a stranger would have such an inflammatory attitude with me.

But, I paused. And chose a spiritually aligned mindset and action…It changed my own attitude. And I believe that of this man who clearly was experiencing something that put him into a “fight or flight” frame of mind. And I reminded myself that whatever he was experiencing had absolutely NOTHING to do with me.

PLEASE USE EMPATHY, PATIENCE, AND GRACE…

We are all living with frustration, anger, sadness, and anxiety. And maybe even worse.

I believe that we are all doing the best that we can.

I have seen first hand how one’s whole attitude and outlook changes when we offer grace, empathy and patience.

And, let us be an example for our youth.

When we are the person of influence in a room, or in someone’s space, or life, they will sync their emotions to ours.

HERE IS WHERE WE HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO CREATE POSITIVE CHANGE.

And in the most challenging of circumstances.

What a beautiful gift we can offer to others in a space of empathy, patience and grace.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

TRAUMA BONDING AND RESPONSE:WHEN WE KNOW BETTER, WE DO BETTER – LOVE, WENDY

Romanticizing the few fleeting moments of seemingly loving attention given by a toxic partner is trauma bonding.

Living with the hopes of rekindling that toxic relationship is a trauma response.

When we finally do the work to release and reframe trauma, we know better and we do MUCH better.

Remember that we live what we learn. When we know better, we do better. And finally, we teach people how to treat us.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

SIMPLY, LOVE – LOVE, WENDY

“The way in which we identify, i. e., straight, gay, LGBTQ, a belief and practice of an organized religion, a personal spiritual practice that is alternative, our heritage, the color of our skin, our financial status, our career path, how we manage the day to day mental health challenges we may experience including substance use disorder, etc., in my humble opinion, does not define who we are.

I believe that which defines each of us is the Universal practice of unconditional love, unconditional empathy and compassion, unconditional kindness and acceptance, wholehearted integrity and that of total and complete loving support of each beautiful soul that we connect with.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy