Category: BOOK

“Lying is loud, defensive, and long winded.

Truth is calm, succinct and peaceful.”

Sat Nam…

Love and blessings,

Wendy

One year ago today, my mother passed away. As I am writing this in real time, the song, “I’m Your Angel” begins on Pandora…a sign, I believe, from my mother that she is here in spirit, in real time…

It still feels surreal. It’s been a year of revelations, of acknowledgements, and of pain. It’s been a year of self exploration and discovery after such a profound loss of a complicated and deeply unwell woman whom I have learned, through my own inner work, to feel deep empathy and great compassion for. Last night, at my mother’s Yahrzeit ceremony, I was asked to reflect on all that I have learned about myself and my mother this past year. And it was the deep empathy and great compassion that I talked about. My mother lived her own life in so much pain, and I completely empathize with her own personal hell that she lived in. I have learned forgiveness. I have learned that no matter our “title,” mom, dad, King, or Queen, we all endure pain, and trauma. And, we are all imperfect. We do our very best with the tools that we have acquired.

I feel my mother’s presence around me often. I see and hear signs as I have this morning through music. I miss hearing her voice saying, “Hello my dear child.” She tried so hard with me in her later years.

As in the ceremony prayer last night stated…Every life is a blessing. My mother gave me life, as my grandmother gave to her…and so on.

We are blessed.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

He is my ex-husband yet always family, and always my friend.

He called me yesterday to tell me that he lost his best friend of over 40 years to COVID. John had just received his first vaccine, and 2 days later was on a ventilator. They believe that he unknowingly had been infected just prior to his vaccine causing complications. Alan said he “doesn’t know how to react.” Many of us have this reaction when we lose a loved one, and it is compounded with disbelief when it is sudden and unexpected.

We all spent time together in the 24 years that we were married. It’s surreal. This man was strong, a man of God, hard working, kind, loving, a dad, a husband, and a wonderful and loyal friend.

Alan and I talked about how perspective changes as we age, as we become more aware of our own mortality, and the importance of letting those we love know how we feel. I believe that this profound loss in Alan’s life has deepened our own connection. HEREIN LIES THE SILVER LINING.

Tell those you love how you feel, and even more importantly, show them.

I’m deeply grateful that Alan felt close enough to me after all this time, and 7 years post our divorce, to call me for loving support. We’ve come a long way.

“That’s what friends are for…”

Rest in eternal peace, John.

My dearest readers and friends…Love often and openly. There is nothing to wait for. Speak to those with whom you love. Spend time with those whom you love. Our time to do so is fleeting.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

In doing some deep inner work connected to my own journey, I reflect and consider, “How do the men in ones life and the way they treat a woman reflect the way that ones father treated her mother? Who and what has one “looked up to?” What was the “normal temperature?”

We recreate over and over the pathology of our family. Until we have the awareness through speaking our truth, we continue to repeat the learned behaviors, and accept toxicity and unhealthy experiences as “normal.”

What are we denying in ourselves when we allow others to deny us, and to continue to allow another to tell us yes, and tell us no? To tell us if? To tell us when? Why do we give away our power? Why do we disrespect, dishonor, disown, and disgrace ourselves to this degree? Where have we learned to accept this type of abusive and neglectful treatment from another?

We know the answer.

Be courageous. Listen to your truth. Allow yourself to feel it all. Do the inner work. Take your time. Sit with it. Then…BREAK the cycle. Set healthy boundaries and set healthy practices in place for yourself and for the eyes “looking up to you.” Require more of, and for yourself. Lead by healthy example.

Take back your power.”

Love, Wendy

“If they’ll do it to anyone…they’ll do it to everyone… If they’ll do it anytime, they’ll do it every time. If they’ll do it anywhere, they’ll do it everywhere.“

“Where there is deep love and compassion, is the space where anger is extinguished.
LOVE OVER VOLATILE ENERGY. (LOVE)”

Love, Wendy

“In the absence of connection, we are devoured by the cacophony of sounds that become our solitary confinement.” Love, Wendy

“Inner strength may be non linear according to the severity of the circumstances and the mastery of one’s skills. It may also fluctuate depending upon how we are feeling physically, mentally, and spiritually. It lies on a continuum.

It is one’s resilience that drives one’s strength, and we only build resiliency when we are afforded the opportunity to practice through challenge and adversity. Therein lies our gift.” – Love, Wendy

“If you want to be in my life, speak to me directly. The window is open.” Love, Wendy

“Where there is discouragement, where hope has been exhausted, where one views the end as their only means…I ask…

How may I serve?”

Love, Wendy