One year ago today, my mother passed away. As I am writing this in real time, the song, “I’m Your Angel” begins on Pandora…a sign, I believe, from my mother that she is here in spirit, in real time…
It still feels surreal. It’s been a year of revelations, of acknowledgements, and of pain. It’s been a year of self exploration and discovery after such a profound loss of a complicated and deeply unwell woman whom I have learned, through my own inner work, to feel deep empathy and great compassion for. Last night, at my mother’s Yahrzeit ceremony, I was asked to reflect on all that I have learned about myself and my mother this past year. And it was the deep empathy and great compassion that I talked about. My mother lived her own life in so much pain, and I completely empathize with her own personal hell that she lived in. I have learned forgiveness. I have learned that no matter our “title,” mom, dad, King, or Queen, we all endure pain, and trauma. And, we are all imperfect. We do our very best with the tools that we have acquired.
I feel my mother’s presence around me often. I see and hear signs as I have this morning through music. I miss hearing her voice saying, “Hello my dear child.” She tried so hard with me in her later years.
As in the ceremony prayer last night stated…Every life is a blessing. My mother gave me life, as my grandmother gave to her…and so on.
We are blessed.”
Love and blessings,