Uncategorized

Enlightenment – Love, Wendy

Saturday, April 29, 2023 8am

I awoke at around 1am with a feeling of euphoria and peace as I received what I can only label as a “download.” Pure spiritual energy and connection. I have been sitting in prayer and meditation for hours now and here is my understanding, and take away of my recent circumstances…

One day at a time, surrender, find the deeper meaning, implementing my spear and swim into wellness process, understanding the true meaning of community, the meaning of pure and unconditional love, and to stand even more deeply in my faith and trust in God, all in order to actually have the lived experiences that requires me to understand on a deeper level, on a spiritual level a “lived” experience of what it means to be a spiritual leader and teacher…to nurture myself and to allow events to unfold as I look up to God/Spirit/Universe for direction. And have faith. 

I am overwhelmed with gratitude and emotion at the outpouring of love from my community.
My earth angels…

I LOVED my work in the mental health field, (and look forward to returning to my work after my back surgery). Most of all, I loved Thursday’s when I facilitated a “living in balance“ wellness group on the Behavioral Health Unit at Nyack Hospital and on the Detox and Recovery Unit at Good Samaritan Hospital, as well as working with clients in recovery through my private practice. It was the most gratifying experience for me to connect with others living with a similar brain disorder. It helped me on a profound level and certainly gave me insight into a severe and persistent mental illness that takes one’s life and families, in many instances, away. A brain disorder that nearly took mine over a decade ago.

I sat and held the hands of many men and women in my work for those 3+ years and listened to their stories of their fall from grace, of abandonment of their families, of one man who was a teacher in the Nyack School District, and I wondered how that could ever happen to someone in his profession. Now I can actually relate to that man’s journey not just through listening to his story, but through living my experience that closely mirror’s his journey.

And although I could empathize with those who were homeless and unwell, I did not know what it meant to actually live these experiences. I spent many hours over the course of my work on the phone, and visiting the department of social services and other resources to attempt to give some relief to these patients, which is exactly where I find myself now. 

It was less than helpful for those patients, and nothing has changed in my experience this last week. Our government does not provide for those less fortunate who are out of work or homeless or unwell. When I asked a friend at DSS how do people live on the little bit that is provided to them ($485.00 a month!!!) his answer was, “they don’t. They stay in their home until the eviction process literally puts them out.” I cried. 

My closest friends told me last night that they will never let me lose my home or go without. I am deeply grateful. Surreal. I came from an amazing life, financially, as a wife and mother and teacher in an affluent community, to standing at the homeless shelter door, figuratively.

I think about the days working with patients and clients who were locked down in the hospital, or living at the shelter where I witnessed severe lack, severe mental illness and hopelessness. Some of whom were not even cognizant enough to understand their circumstances. Heartbreaking. My heart filled with joy when I sat with them and saw them look into my eyes and offer a faint smile. They were exhausted, and had given up hope.

I was able to leave at the end of my workday and go home to my beautiful condo, heat and hot water, organic food, peace and quiet along with my designer purse in hand, and to spend time with my loving friends and family.

Enlightenment.

I’m going to be just fine, and I believe as my mother used to say “This too shall pass.“ I used to hate that saying when she said it because it felt like what I was experiencing was insignificant to her. But it was how I was receiving her words and the meaning that I attached to it, and not at all what she meant.

I believe that experiencing these experiences is a Divinely guided intentional and temporary path so that I may serve our global community more effectively, and to actually live by my words that I have deep faith and trust in God as I serve. To lead by example and experience. To be a spiritual support and teacher.

This is not for the faint hearted. 

Thank you, once again, for your loving support.

Love and blessings, Wendy

Uncategorized

Surrender – Love, Wendy

One of my favorite spiritual teachers, Gabby Bernstein, said, “When you think you’ve surrendered, surrender more.”

Recently, I had sustained four compression fractures in my spine and could not go to work for a couple of weeks. I used up my sick days, and depleted my savings as I tried to keep up with my cost of living. Further, I am now facing a probable spine surgery, and I am unable to return to work at this time. Chronic, severe pain limits my ability to walk, sit or stand for too long.

My soul mother and another favorite spiritual teacher, Sheila Pearl, reminded me of Gabby’s quote. “Surrender.”

Sheila and some of my other closest friends suggested that I allow them to create a Go Fund Me campaign. Absolutely not! I am very uncomfortable accepting help from others.

I have always taken care of myself. I’m independent, I pay all of my bills, I do not lean on anyone for anything…until I became physically incapacitated, suddenly, abruptly losing my only source of income.

I never would have believed that this could happen to someone like me. But illness/injury can happen at anytime. And so, it was time for me to “surrender more.” As I try to process all of this that happened almost overnight, I am still uncomfortable with allowing myself to accept help from others. I applied for disability and the amount that the government “gives” to a person in my position is unconscionable. I can now understand how people become homeless, and go hungry.

My friends and family have encouraged me to allow myself to accept the generosity of others as they remind me of the many people that I have served over the years in the field of mental health and substance use disorder. “You’ve helped so many over the years. Now it’s time for you to allow others to help you in this time of need.”

Surrender.

A concept that I am still getting to know, and one that is creating an uncomfortable, uneasy feeling. I allow myself to feel it all. It is a process.

No income, and limited time left on my health insurance has given me a whole new perspective on just how fleeting life can be, and is. However, I am a rich woman in terms of friends, love, and unconditional support. I am reminded of the movie “It’s A Wonderful Life” where Harry toasts his brother George referring to the community gathering to support George in his time of financial need, “To my brother George, the richest man in town.”

I know that there is a spiritual lesson to be learned through my circumstances. Each day I strive to find the deeper meaning through a wider lens and open perspective so that I may use this lesson to serve others in the future.

Amen.

I have surrendered.

Love,

Wendy

BOOK

All I Can Do is Pray- Love, Wendy

I am constantly asked, “When can we expect your second book to be published?” I could not answer this question. The truth is that I didn’t know what I would write about.

I published my first book last year Write Pray Recover:A Journey To Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care, and didn’t want to piggy back off of my first book. I felt that my message was clear enough in this book, and I wanted to write about my spiritual life, and the intimate relationship I have with God/Spirit/Universe, using the concrete examples that I experience daily. I will never force my beliefs down anybody’s throat, but perhaps when you hear my stories, and how close I come to the “edge” that is “mimicking doom,” and then at the 11th hour, a miracle presents itself, I am hoping this will be a “Call to Action” for more people to explore a spiritual relationship. Each day, my spiritual relationship is deepened through faith, meditation, and prayer.

As I said, “The truth is that I didn’t know what I would write about…”until now.

All I Can Do is Pray will be the title of my second book. I have 10 years of spiritual communication that represents my intimate relationship with God/Spirit/Universe. I sometimes share my daily spiritual encounters with family and friends, and they too are in awe of my beautiful spiritual practice.

I have found myself posing the questions below to myself, and looking for answers that will provide me with a deeper meaning to life, most especially, with a deeper meaning for my life’s purpose. My intimate connection with God/Spirit/Universe is my most cherished relationship, as this is where I find the unconditional love that I have sought my whole life, as well as receiving the information that I need to serve and support others. Each day I say, “Please show me where to go, who to see, what to say, and to whom, to help another person.” My prayers are always answered.

I am sharing the questions that I have asked of late as I find myself in a serious financial hardship while at the same time my physical health is compromised.

I am living with compression of my spinal cord, (severe enough to impact walking, sitting, standing, not to mention that there is a fracture to one of the vertebrae connected to the bowel and bladder, causing chronic constipation. (“The heavier the degree of vertebral compression, the higher the risk of constipation”), Degenerative Disc Disease, Osteoporosis, and four compression fractures in my spine. The doctors have instructed me to “mostly rest” for four weeks.

“What do I do now?” I look up and ask God. I have run out of sick days, used up any paid sick bank time, and have just been told that I need spine surgery, not to mention that if I don’t go back to work, I will lose my medical insurance in about 3 weeks, and have to pay for the insurance. But wait…how can I pay for insurance without income?

I have very little savings. “What do I do now?” I cry again. And as I begin to sob in disbelief of my circumstances, after surviving 40 years of substance use disorder that nearly took my life, ten full years of beautiful and meaningful recovery, and serving our global population in mental health and wellness, Spirit answers through song in the style I have become accustomed to in our intimate relationship, “Look up Child.” This is the Chapter 1 title of my book, Write Pray Recover, and is one of Lauren Daigle’s hit songs. I laugh through the tears, and I realize that God/Spirit/Universe is telling me to trust Him. I have no idea how this will all fall into place, but I am definitely being guided to trust Him with blind faith. And of course, I do. Right after Look Up Child, the track, Calm, begins to play on Pandora which is a 30 minute gorgeous meditation track that creates calm and focus as I use my breath to “calm” myself, and again, I believe God is telling me that all is well, and to remain calm. And so I will. Yes, through the cacophony of all of the noise, I choose to believe in the power of prayer and of God/Spirit/Universe. This is the only strategy that makes sense to me. Not to become hysterical, but instead to turn my energy inwards to connect with myself where I see, hear and feel beyond my physical limitations, and to connect to the truth I have come to know is authentic, loving, and ever present.

In my 10 years of recovery, I have built a loving, supportive community of like minded people. As always, I share everything that I am doing in recovery where my foundation is my daily spiritual practice. I teach, educate others, share my book, write an inspirational blog a few times a week. In addition, I have facilitated a global workshop series that was online and free for others, globally, run by myself and other practitioners and peers from around the world, to empower themselves with tools for wellness. I coach others in recovery in my private practice, and I share all of my challenges so that others will recognize that they are not alone, and can consider using my Integrative Approach to Wellness in their own recovery, or to combine my program in any way that resonates with them. I believe that the Universe is grooming me to become the spiritual teacher I have wanted to be for so long.

As I share these most recent challenges, so many from my gorgeous community have reached out to share possible solutions. I feel supported and loved. And, I know that God/Spirit/Universe has brought us all together for a combined purpose…to share our stories so that others can begin to understand that substance use disorder and mental health disorders, (anxiety, depression, etc), is a brain disease, and that we are not alone. We all have mental health. And in my opinion, with the right tools and support, together with one’s determination to live in wellness, and allowing Spirit to guide our journey, recovery begins to ripple out into the world for everyone to experience. A “global call to wellness.”

I remind myself during this incredibly scary, uncertain, and challenging time that “God saved me over a decade ago from this brain disease, and He will not allow me to become homeless and hungry now.” I know that He is using me to serve others. And experiencing these circumstances can bring me greater empathy for those who are experiencing the same. So, I welcome the lesson. And I am honored to learn the deeper meaning of my life’s purpose, and of life collectively.

In the meantime, I have surrendered to my circumstances, and I am certain that solutions will all be revealed in His time.

All I Can Do is Pray.

This is one of my most important lessons, and messages…ever.

Love,

Wendy

PLEASE NOTE: You will notice that I refer to a higher source interchangeably as Universe/God/Spirit. Substitute your own name for the God of your own understanding.

BOOK

On Friendship and Relationships – Love, Wendy

A spiritual lesson: A loving and devoted friend climbs into the muck with you whether to just hold you, keep you company, or to help you to sort through the muck to see the bottom in order to have clarity. They stay with you on many levels mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually that tells you that you are never alone. Words and behaviors align.

Those other “friends” who clearly see you drowning in the muck, who convey a message of “I’ll wait out here on solid ground, and when you climb out of it, I’ll smile at you yet, I will never offer you an opportunity to talk about the details. I will avoid the “muck” conversation at all costs. I will talk about myself and how well I am doing and/or how much my own “muck” has me stuck, detouring far away from what you are experiencing. (I probably lack the tools to be your spiritual friend or counterpart). I will dodge any conversation about the “muck” until I am certain that you have made peace with it.”

This is what we call a “fair weather” friend. Only after the muck has cleared up, do they call you or show up on your path as if they did not see or hear a thing, and yet they will continue to call you “friend.”

Sound familiar?

I have learned this lesson over and over, and although it is so disappointing, I never take this personally. I remind myself that this “friendship” is one sided, that this person does not have the tools to be in a committed friendship/relationship, and I begin to detach from that relationship.

This is a spiritual lesson where I remind myself to set boundaries, and to engage only in reciprocal relationships that are healthy and loving.

Love,

Wendy

BOOK

DEVOTION TO THE MIND/BODY CONNECTION – LOVE, WENDY

Today I devote myself to moving my body slowly and steadily without rushing my body. I use my breath to navigate the pain and resistance. I remind myself that my physical movement connected to my mental agility offers me a body/mind connection. In this space, I can create change.

There is a greater purpose in this connection.

Then, I connect to the God of my understanding, ask for spiritual guidance on how to heal my body. The answer is always about using my mind to guide my body in an integrative approach. The mind is a muscle that must be stretched every day, as do the muscles in my body that are resisting me. My body is responding to the physical and emotional stress I am enduring.

I trust that the power of my faith and the mindful movement that I engage in creates a shift to healing, and ultimately to wellness.

My feelings of pain and resistance are not my truth. I choose to shift the stressful stimulus causing my pain to my awareness of my body/mind connection. I strategically change my response to, “I am conscious of my thoughts. Thoughts are not facts. I can shift my negative thought pattern through mindful breathing and awareness of my sensations. I move purposefully and joyfully back into wellness.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK

I AM A SURVIVOR:My thoughts and memories of the past 10 years of my recovery from addiction – Love, Wendy

Ten years ago to the day, today, I took my last dose of “self medication” consisting of 2 Tylenol with Codeine #60 and 8mg of Xanax.

I began my intense treatment for Substance Use Disorder (SUD) on April 3, 2013. What a decade long journey it has been.

I think of the list of challenges and adversity that presented itself over the past decade, and I am in awe of my strength, my discipline, and my devotion to wellness in my recovery through “An Integrative Approach To Wellness in Recovery” which I coined and created.

This decade brought with it highs and lows, and everything in between including bankruptcy in 2014, beginning a new career as a Recovery Specialist and Client/Family Advocate for those living with SUD and mental illness, as well as becoming certified and trained as a practitioner in Integrative Nutrition, Mental Health First Aid, Suicide Safety, becoming a Board Certified Peer Specialist, Spiritual Wellness, MAT treatment, Narcan, CPR, Trauma Informed Approach, to name a few.

I have written a book, Write Pray Recover :A Journey to Wellness through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care. https://writeprayrecover.com

This interactive book/journal is based on my lived experience, as well as my field experience in the mental health/substance use disorder field, and my work in the field as an Integrative Nutrition Holistic Health Coach. This book gives the reader an opportunity to self reflect, to write about it, and to use this book as a tool for self discovery and exploration, and healing.

I am hoping to realize my greatest dream of going out on a book signing and speaking tour worldwide!

I was the Keynote speaker recently at the Chris Ashman Wellness & Recovery Conference, and I speak at various recovery events across NY state, and globally including LIVE radio broadcasts, and podcasts! In addition, I have a private practice where I serve others who are beginning recovery. I work as a part of their “treatment team” and bring my program, An Integrative Approach To Wellness in Recovery, to the solution. This is a program that is tailored to one’s specific needs and desires. It is a non linear program, and as we ebb and flow, the program continues to be modified. The client leads the team. Inherently, we all know what we need to heal. We ask for support and guidance as we explore and discover our authentic self, ongoing.

Sadly during my recovery, I lost my mother in 2020, who gave up on life, I suffered severe physical health challenges, broke up with the man I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with, and had to make a conscious choice to sever relationships that were contributing to my anxiety and overall well being in a negative way. I navigated it all without any mind altering substances, and instead, summoned every holistic healing tool and practitioner that I could find to guide me.

The relationships with my children and friends have become unbreakable and meaningful as my family and friends observed my metamorphosis one day at a time, and stood on the sidelines cheering me on.

My “integrative approach in recovery” has been testament to the fact that each of us can choose the pathway to our own recovery, and be successful when we remain diligent and disciplined to the components of said program. There are many pathways to recovery that co-exist in alignment with necessary medical supervision in the first year, at least, of one’s recovery.

On Tuesday, April 4, 2023, I will begin my 11th year of Wellness in Recovery from prescription drug addiction and co-occurring mental health disorders.

My son said to me today, “I can’t tell you enough how inspiring it is! If it wasn’t for you leading the way, I wouldn’t have made it! So proud!!
You must be super proud of yourself too! Look where you are now. Even with the pain you sometimes experience in life, you stood strong and never fell backwards. That’s amazing. Very inspiring.” And my daughter Liv said this morning, “That’s really good! I’m really proud of you!”

It is for my children and grandchildren that I continue along this exciting, albeit sometimes challenging journey. I want to lead the way in showing them by actions, not just by words, that when we actively engage our mind over the challenge, anything and everything is a possibility.

As for the saying, “When we know better, we do better,” Amen. And it is up to us to continue to learn and to evolve in order to make healthy choices and to do better for ourselves lifelong. This practice ripples out into our immediate environment as a positive mindset and approach, and offers new perspective to consider, and eventually, it ripples out into the world where we begin to see change.

I will end with this quote that I wrote in my recovery early on, and which appears in my book on page 3 and 4:

“I am a survivor. I am not my past defined by a disease that

temporarily altered my being. I am a warrior who now holds

the space for others to experience their authentic selves in the

present moment. This is a blessing and a gift. I am here as a vessel

to usher the boat away from the shore. The waves do not hold

me back as I have learned to navigate, and swim right into the

waves. I’ve learned to go with the flow, and to feel the sun lighting

my way on my journey. I live with great pride, and in peace, as

I continue to experience the ripples and waves in un-chartered

territory. I continue to evolve, poised for the next rush of waves,

with certainty of my strength, always grateful for new opportunities

to grow. I am a survivor.”

– Wendy Blanchard, M.S., INHC, NYCPS