Author: wendyblanchard044

And it was under the light of the rising sun that the truth blinded me…

Freedom.

Please read my new article by clicking here! https://findaddictionrehabs.com/write-pray-recover/

Love and blessings,

Wendy

After we are born and begin our lives, as we are growing and learning, our healthy development is directly dependent upon having a secure and consistent attachment to our caregivers. It is consistency that sits at the core of our healthy mental and physical health.

“This sense of safety and feeling loved allows our nervous system to develop as it’s meant to, and creates the inner template we follow in all of our future relationships.

But when that attachment process is disrupted, it interrupts the healthy development of the nervous system, creating imbalances that have long-lasting psychological and biological effects inside us.”

During a recent therapy session with a trauma specialist, one who uses a trauma informed approach (the six principles of trauma-informed care: safety; trustworthiness and transparency; peer support; collaboration and mutuality; empowerment, voice and choice; and cultural issues) I was led to a heightened state of awareness where I had an epiphany as she encouraged me to “use your own words.” Right between the eyes. I kept repeating the words, “Oh my God, Wow,” over and over and over.

I am still being triggered by trauma. By specific people who aren’t even in my life anymore, and/or who have passed on. And I was feeling mentally drained, and physically unwell.

And although I practice daily self care, a person or situation does trigger emotions that I have not yet fully processed, and healed. And during that therapy session, it felt like the greatest re-awakening of my emotions as I talked about people, places and things that still trigger my deep sadness, anger, and my nervous system…severe and sometimes debilitating anxiety.

And she connected the dots with me…I recognized that I was choosing the same “people” that mirrored the adults tasked with my caregiving from the day I was born. Unhealthy, unstable, irresponsible, inconsistent adults.

All of my past adult relationships, even as recent as 2018, where I left a relationship because I was observing these “inconsistent, and unhealthy behaviors,” consistently, were mirroring the unstable and unhealthy adults in their own relationships that I observed throughout my entire life…consistently. This was the ONLY consistency that I had as a compass…dysfunction and trauma. On that I could always depend. It was my normal.

We live what we learn. And, we can unlearn unhealthy patterns of thoughts and behaviors, and create whatever trajectory we desire through mindful thoughts, behaviors, adapting and learning spiritual solutions and self care, and doing the intense trauma work necessary to heal.

Baby steps.

I chose to begin my wellness journey nearly ten years ago, and today, I am still unlearning, and learning for the first time, new healthy practices to support my wellness. These practices provide me with a feeling of deep connection to myself, and to others. I have done so much of the work over this past decade, and I continue to work, and to heal through self awareness, and self exploration and discovery.

I have the awareness as I begin to escalate in my symptoms, and have the tools to be able to self regulate using healthy practices. And I am connected to God/Spirit/Universe at all times which is where I “receive” the information that I need in order to move forward in a healthy and fruitful manner. One that enhances my life, and enhances my relationships. One where I am Divinely guided to make the healthiest choices in every situation as I listen and look beyond my physical limitations.

I have been empowered.

This is a lifelong unlearning and learning journey.

I am now able to discern what it is that will be a healthy choice for me, especially in the relationships that I choose to engage in short term, and in the long term.

Even after nearly a decade, I continue to learn, and more importantly, I continue to have the willingness to learn, in order to promote peace, love and wellness in my life. This includes removing anyone who exhibits even the slightest display of toxic behavior. Whether or not I love the person, is no longer a factor of connection if that person is toxifying my life. I have endured more than my share of toxicity throughout my entire life.

I choose to de-toxify every aspect of my life “in the living years”, and for the living years that are ahead of me. I am excited to live my life…my way, with God/Spirit/Universe at the center of my life.

I am no longer a hostage to all who came before me who lived in a mind prison of fear and accepting abusive, dysfunction, unhealthy and neglectful behaviors from one who “loved” them.

I have unlearned that type of “love.” I now understand the Divine, healthy meaning of LOVE.

My life was saved in order that I find my path upon a lifelong learning journey. Love, compassion, wellness, peace, joy, and service, by the grace of God.

“Say it loud, say it clear, You can listen as well as you hear.

It’s too late, when we die

To admit we don’t see eye to eye.

It may have a new perspective on a different day

And if you don’t give up, and don’t give in you may just be OK” – The Living Years, Mike and the Mechanics

Speak your truth. Listen to your gut. Follow your heart. Embrace a spiritual practice. Do the work.

Live your life “in the living years.”

It’s too late when we die.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

“I loved him not for what he had, or did not have, you know, the “stuff,” the money, the bling.” 
I loved how he loved me which is all I asked for…his heart, and to connect to his soul.
I loved him for love.

Time passes but true love, Divine Love always remains.”

Love always,

Wendy

In my 10th year of recovery, I am still reminded of other’s lingering trauma from when I was in active disease. And they have the right to feel what they feel. Let’s face it…
Although addiction/substance use disorder is a brain disease, it caused me to behave in unhealthy ways that deeply affected my own life, and that of my family and friends.
I will say that I still feel hurt and somewhat isolated from some of my family and friends. It is a “different” relationship. It is always respectful, and fun, and loving, yet, with a defiinite sense of an implied “keep your distance.”

At the same time, I have worked so hard and succeeded to reinvent myself, and to lead by example, and to love unconditionally.
I cannot force anyone to feel something that may be gone due to whatever they have experienced, and/or perhaps their unwillingness to truly forgive. And perhaps they are fearful of a deeper connection because they fear I will go back to unhealthy choices/behaviors.

If we are unwilling to have an honest dialogue, nothing ever gets resolved.
Certainly, when one says, “I’m fine. I’m not angry anymore,” with their arms folded across their chest with deep sadness in their eyes, I recognize the underlying sadness and pain.
And, “although the reality is deeply painful, I take comfort in knowing that I am never alone.”

I focus on the relationships that have healed, and the ones that I am engaged in where we are still working together to get to a more connected place.

It stings.
It sucks.
Both the disease and the destruction of the lives in its path, including my own.
But…I know that I have done, and continue to do my best…as a mother, a grandmother, a friend, a teacher/coach.

As painful as this is and heartbreaking for me, and for so many others who have survived this disease, all we can do is accept what is happening in the moment, and continue to pray.
We have no control over how someone else feels, or responds to us, or if that will ever change.

I continue to search for a deeper meaning. I believe I understand what that is… that we have no control…over anything…

I continue to practice my S.P.E.A.R. and S.W.I.M. into Wellness program to guide me, daily, through this process.

You can read about my program in my book Write Pray Recover:A Journey To Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care is available on Amazon, and other stores online worldwide.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

P.S. LIVE YOUR LIFE…FOR YOU. WHOEVER IS MEANT TO BE ON YOUR JOURNEY WITH YOU, WILL BE.

Being “titanium “ is nothing to brag about. If you are impenetrable you are therefore devoid of feelings, and do not possess a spiritual compass. Here is where one lives through ego which is completely transparent.

However, when the heat is turned up, even titanium begins to lose its strength…and, it doesn’t stand a chance against “bullets” fired from high-powered “truth” where Spirit steps in with a light that illuminates and melts the life of lies. Lies become the magnet to an eventual bending of the metal and where “truth” finally bursts out for all to see. One is left naked and vulnerable. Their greatest fear becomes their reality. And they have a choice to ask for spiritual support with a humble heart, or not.

As I always say, “Truth is where your freedom begins, and where restored peace becomes our daily experience.”

One way or another, the “truth” IS ALWAYS revealed.

Love,

Wendy

Hold the space for one to go within, to be courageous, to find humility, to speak their truth, to experience peace and freedom, to seek forgiveness, and to be open to a dialogue that will be the catalyst for healing.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

Serendipity story…

I have not thought about The Wizard of Oz since my kids were little other than maybe now and again through the years.

My dear friend, Steve, who I had not seen in a year and a half visited me and used this movie title in an analogy for something that he was explaining to me.

Then my friend Tara, who I gifted this beautiful piece of artwork to about 4 years ago, made by my late stepfather, Harold, of The Wizard of Oz, returned this to me today as she said she was downsizing and thought to herself that this piece of my stepfather‘s legacy should stay in my family. It was my late mom, Judy’s favorite piece that he made. He was so talented and made dozens of beautiful pieces.

And today, watching “Serendipity,” there is a specific reference to The Wizard of Oz that jumped out at me as another “sign.”

I believe these signs reveal to me what I have been shown is about to show up “behind the curtain…”

Spirit communicates in the most curious ways, and this is a “normal” part of my every day life. “Our” communication is constant and clear, and I always understand the guidance I am being given, and shown the specific answers to my questions and prayers.

When we are open to Divine communication, we see, hear and feel beyond our physical limitations.

To be continued!…

Love,

Wendy

When we engage with a trauma survivor, we want to use trauma informed words and behaviors steering clear of phrases like, “Put on your big girl/boy pants,” or “You’re all grown up now, and that was a lifetime ago,” or “Get over it.”

Trauma, when left untreated and unprocessed becomes embedded on a cellular level. We must be empathetic and realize that insensitive phrases and words such as these, and the like, are unkind, and one cannot just “skip over” details of the experienced trauma to “get over it.” This is how it remains stuck, and one remains unwell on a cellular level. Body, mind and spirit.

We must encourage one to slowly unpack, at their own pace, their own experiences, and provide a safe, non-judgemental space for one to do so.

My objective is always to nourish ones soul.

A trauma informed approach uses empathy, patience and compassion, and holds the space for one who has experienced trauma to heal in their own time, and in their own way. We ask them what they need to unpack the details of the trauma.

And, we meet them there.

Love,

Wendy