“When we have apologized for our mistakes in earnest and with deep remorse, we move forward with the lesson and we make better choices.

As I observe one with deep rooted anger who chooses to hold a grudge, I also observe one’s fear of losing control of an ex-partner’s choices and decisions.

In a toxic relationship where both parties are being influenced by unhealthy substances, thoughts and behaviors that have been lifelong, and one of the parties chooses to change the trajectory of their life to that of spirituality and wellness, the one who remains isolated in one’s toxic choices becomes resentful.

They resent that there is no longer a codependency. They may even long to find a spiritual practice to support them and wellness that is born of healthy practices.

However, one may not have the discipline or the inner strength to face themselves, or to speak their truth…even to themselves. And one who is white knuckling the fear of the loss of control over another, and/or being left alone to live in their toxic environment may even suck in the family, even the children they share in an attempt to deflect the attention off of themselves. They remain stuck in the past. They choose to continue living in a self created toxic environment.

This is the space where one makes a choice. This is the space where one chooses which wolf to feed.

Which wolf will you feed?

I consistently choose not to feed the wolf who will intentionally chew slowly at my soul, in an attempt to devour its rebirth.

I feed only those who come to the table with an empty plate with the intention of being grateful for all of our blessings. I feed only those who join me in choosing healthy practices, empathy, and love. I choose the one who chooses “light and hope.”

Talk: Which Wolf are you Feeding? | The School of Positive Psychology

Love and blessings,


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