Month: September 2021

“Honor your journey. Stay on your own side of the street. Clean it. Plant. Nurture. Harvest. Nourish your body. Nourish your mind. Nourish your soul.

Trust the rest of the process to unfold organically.

Honor your journey.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

“When we are able to release ourselves from an unhealthy relationship, it is time for reflection and introspection.

We must ask ourselves what void within us was being filled in that relationship, albeit in an unhealthy manner. Do I believe that I deserve love that is healthy and monogamous? Do I believe that I am worthy of this type of love? What kept me going back again and again to a toxic environment?

What is your truth? Say it aloud. Start here.

When we understand the catalyst of our underlying thought process of accepting abusive, neglectful behaviors where we disown and dishonor our own needs and desires, and where we allow another to disrespect and degrade our beautiful spirit, we will be ready to create change. Otherwise, we will continue in this unhealthy cycle of entering into subsequent relationships of the same unhealthy, toxic nature.

Same “relationship,” different person.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

“Empathy along with a listening ear and a soft touch can also be a “love language.” If our loving partner has experienced trauma, this type of love language may be exactly how to connect on a deeper level.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

A PRAYER FOR LOVING GUIDANCE

My recovery, as I’ve mentioned, is grounded in my spiritual practices of daily prayer and medita- tion. I began this practice while in active substance use disorder, and it was the one small, yet profound, daily practice that helped to keep me connected to Spirit. When I would begin to feel the urge to take a handful of pills, or to engage in self-harming behavior, I would pray for loving guidance and strength. Even if I was only able to take fewer pills after my prayer time, or wait an extra thirty minutes before I engaged in self-harming behavior, I felt I was being Divinely sup- ported. After I had taken a lethal number of pills and feel my heart begin to race, and feel faint, nauseous, and knew there was a chance I could have a heart attack and/or die, I would pray to God to save my life. I did not really want to die; I was just so ill and drug dependent, and I did not know how to stop, or where to go to ask for help. I would say The Serenity Prayer over and over, aloud, down on my knees. I would also repeat it sometimes as I sat on my bedroom floor, looking up at the sky, crying tears of sorrow for the life I was abusing (and quickly losing)— mine and those of my loved ones who were watching helplessly from the sidelines as I was slowly dying.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Once I began my recovery, I discovered Kundalini meditation, which is known as the “yoga of awareness” through which one may awaken to one’s higher self. The higher self is the enlight- ened part of ourselves that is connected to the Universe/God/Spirit. I continue this practice daily to remain connected throughout each moment of my day.

Please use any or all of these prayers/meditations as they resonate with you.

I would suggest implementing a prayer/meditation practice daily. This is the way I came to know God/Spirit/the Universe intimately, and ultimately, how I came to “know” my higher self. I believe that God/Spirit/the Universe hears us in prayer, and answers us in the quiet of our meditation.

I end my prayer/meditation every day with the mantra, “Sat Nam,” which is a Kundalini phrase that means “truth identified” or “truth is my name.”

In addition, in the midst of my active substance use disorder, I had a Pilates instructor come to my home at least twice a week, as I was bedridden and housebound most of the time. The num- ber of pills I was taking were causing a variety of serious health issues that disabled me physical- ly, as well as seriously contaminating my organs. Pilates is a practice that allowed me to move my body a little bit during the day, and it felt stimulating to my mind in a natural way. Eventual- ly, I became trained as a Pilates instructor. Pilates improves flexibility, muscle strength and tone, and is gentle in movement, which I needed at that time. It also guides one in connecting to the movement of your body. I highly suggest Pilates (with medical approval, of course) as a gentle tool that supports body, mind, and spirit.

The following is a prayer I created in my early recovery:

“Dearest enlightening and loving spirits and angels of the highest blessings,

I see beyond my physical sight when I am present. I hear beyond my physical hearing when I am open. When I allow myself to receive in a loving space, I am limitless. I listen for your words as I ask for guidance each day, and I follow your wisdom. I feel your presence inside of me and all around me that is all encompassing love. I am so grateful to have your loving guidance. Thank you for my divine gift of connection, and for all of my blessings. Please continue to keep me deeply grounded in faith, and show me where to go, who to see, and what to say and to whom, to help another soul.

Amen . . . Sat Nam”

It is so simple…

If you want to be in my company, show enthusiasm! Stay connected! Inspire me! Engage in stimulating and fun conversation! Be impeccable with your word, and be sure your words align with your actions.

Easy!!!!”

Love, Wendy

“When one has never experienced unconditional love in their lifetime, most especially from their caregivers, one has no compass. They are lost, wandering aimlessly in un-chartered territory searching for anything to fill the void. It is always a temporary, unfulfilling experience.

If one has grown up with abandonment of a parent, an absent, albeit physically present caregiver, and/or an abusive and neglectful caregiver, a caregiver with multiple partners that are introduced to the children, that trauma experience becomes ones “love” compass. Abandonment. Trauma. Drama. Uncertainty. Feeling unsafe and insignificant. Craving attention. Mistrust.

“Remain detached so I will never have to be abandoned again.” Sometimes the pain is irreversible.

They search aimlessly for a partner. And when God offers them a loving partner, they become confused as they cannot identify with love. They self sabotage, as well as sabotage the relationship. It is a mindset of “ I am going to abandon you before you abandon me to avoid the pain.“ They are unable to trust or to love from an authentic place of experience.

One does not need a compass when they are alone in a familiar place.

Only those who put God/Spirit/Universe at the center of their daily lives, and those who choose to be brave enough to unpack, and explore the past trauma will one day be able to engage in a loving, healthy relationship.

This work is a freeing experience. It offers one awareness and enlightenment. It takes hard work, patience, acceptance and commitment to ones growth. Here is the space where we find self-love, and eventually can engage in a loving relationship.

It is not for the faint of heart.”

Love,

Wendy

P.S…most of us have experienced some type of trauma. We are all finding our way. Our caregivers did the best that they could with the tools that they had at that time, as are we.

Take your time, stay away from self criticism and/or judgment, and be willing to explore and to heal.

Only you can create a healthy lifestyle change…Only you can choose love…

Pick up a compass and create your own path…

Or not.”

Blessings always,

Wendy