A PRAYER FOR LOVING GUIDANCE
My recovery, as I’ve mentioned, is grounded in my spiritual practices of daily prayer and medita- tion. I began this practice while in active substance use disorder, and it was the one small, yet profound, daily practice that helped to keep me connected to Spirit. When I would begin to feel the urge to take a handful of pills, or to engage in self-harming behavior, I would pray for loving guidance and strength. Even if I was only able to take fewer pills after my prayer time, or wait an extra thirty minutes before I engaged in self-harming behavior, I felt I was being Divinely sup- ported. After I had taken a lethal number of pills and feel my heart begin to race, and feel faint, nauseous, and knew there was a chance I could have a heart attack and/or die, I would pray to God to save my life. I did not really want to die; I was just so ill and drug dependent, and I did not know how to stop, or where to go to ask for help. I would say The Serenity Prayer over and over, aloud, down on my knees. I would also repeat it sometimes as I sat on my bedroom floor, looking up at the sky, crying tears of sorrow for the life I was abusing (and quickly losing)— mine and those of my loved ones who were watching helplessly from the sidelines as I was slowly dying.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Once I began my recovery, I discovered Kundalini meditation, which is known as the “yoga of awareness” through which one may awaken to one’s higher self. The higher self is the enlight- ened part of ourselves that is connected to the Universe/God/Spirit. I continue this practice daily to remain connected throughout each moment of my day.
Please use any or all of these prayers/meditations as they resonate with you.
I would suggest implementing a prayer/meditation practice daily. This is the way I came to know God/Spirit/the Universe intimately, and ultimately, how I came to “know” my higher self. I believe that God/Spirit/the Universe hears us in prayer, and answers us in the quiet of our meditation.
I end my prayer/meditation every day with the mantra, “Sat Nam,” which is a Kundalini phrase that means “truth identified” or “truth is my name.”
In addition, in the midst of my active substance use disorder, I had a Pilates instructor come to my home at least twice a week, as I was bedridden and housebound most of the time. The num- ber of pills I was taking were causing a variety of serious health issues that disabled me physical- ly, as well as seriously contaminating my organs. Pilates is a practice that allowed me to move my body a little bit during the day, and it felt stimulating to my mind in a natural way. Eventual- ly, I became trained as a Pilates instructor. Pilates improves flexibility, muscle strength and tone, and is gentle in movement, which I needed at that time. It also guides one in connecting to the movement of your body. I highly suggest Pilates (with medical approval, of course) as a gentle tool that supports body, mind, and spirit.
The following is a prayer I created in my early recovery:
“Dearest enlightening and loving spirits and angels of the highest blessings,
I see beyond my physical sight when I am present. I hear beyond my physical hearing when I am open. When I allow myself to receive in a loving space, I am limitless. I listen for your words as I ask for guidance each day, and I follow your wisdom. I feel your presence inside of me and all around me that is all encompassing love. I am so grateful to have your loving guidance. Thank you for my divine gift of connection, and for all of my blessings. Please continue to keep me deeply grounded in faith, and show me where to go, who to see, and what to say and to whom, to help another soul.
Amen . . . Sat Nam”