CHAPTER 13 – SURRENDER
When the ambulance came to get me to bring me to the hospital on the day that I asked for help to save my life, I was in grave health. I was in and out of consciousness and in severe withdrawal from codeine pills and Xanax, and many other controlled substances, severe dehydration, as well as lack of nutrition, nutrients, and vitamins, due to a severe eating disorder. But, when I came to, I remember feeling a sense of peace. I remember speaking aloud to Spirit and saying, “I surrender. I’m not afraid.” I knew that whatever was meant to be, whether I was to live or die, it would be. I remember saying that I was ready for whatever God had planned. I did not beg for my life, as I just had a knowing that I hadn’t been brought this far to be taken now. I “knew” that God had a plan for me because I heard Him say so when I prayed for him to show me the way out on the night before I asked for help. I surrendered. Surrender is the ultimate freedom.
This experience and vivid memory has had a profound impact on me. When we understand that we have absolutely no control over any situation, we understand surrender. Over the years in desperation of wanting a specific outcome, I had sometimes forgotten my greatest lesson in surrender where my life hung in the balance all held in the Universe/God/Spirit’s loving embrace. I would try to manipulate an outcome that I felt was best for me or that I wanted. After a short while of constant struggle, constant frustration, and constant physical illness caused by this mental stress, I was reminded that it is with radical acceptance, aligned with ease and grace given by my connection to Spirit, which would be the healthiest strategy. I surrendered to the Universe and trusted in whatever solutions were presented. I have never been disappointed in the gorgeous blessings that the Universe has bestowed upon me. Some, in fact, were blessings I could never have imagined for myself.
Most recently, I was struggling financially and thought about going back to teaching which is one of my passions and where I could earn a better living. I prayed for guidance, and through my friend, Karen’s words of encouragement, (I believe that the Universe speaks to us through others) I applied for a position. Honestly, I went into the interview very prepared, but with absolutely no expectations. I was 61 years old and thought they would go for someone younger and with more updated experience. However, the Universe is always in control of our destiny! I began seeing the city name where I was eventually to be hired everywhere! I knew that the Universe was reassuring me that I would soon have this new job and be able to crawl out of debt, not to mention have the opportunity to do the work I am passionate about within my community with youth who have similar circumstances as I had as a young girl. Who better than me to guide them?! Not only did I get this new job, but I was asked to teach at our Teacher’s Center at extra pay, and then the Universe provided me with an opportunity to offer, through my private practice, holistic health counseling working with clients in recovery, and offering my self created mental health and wellness professional developments and presentations where teacher’s who attended my trainings would received professional credits! Can you say blessing, blessing, blessing?!
Amen! Amen! Amen!
I just listened to the Spiritual guidance that I was receiving, opened my mindset to new perspectives, (the miracle shift!), and I was guided through spiritual solutions to choices that would enhance my career, not to mention allow me to serve, which is my passion, and my mission!
The moment that I surrendered, prayed, believed and trusted in the loving presence of the Universe/God/Spirit, I received abundance!
I do believe that the years of my “wellness recovery”, my extensive training in mental health and Substance Use Disorder, Social Emotional Learning and in all of my successes within my challenges, detours, and un-successes, (every experience is a learning tool!) prepared me for this new challenge working with inner city youth who do not easily adapt to change, and who are in need of much social emotional development and TLC. I consider myself so deeply blessed, and I am so grateful. And, to create a professional development in response to COVID19, mental health awareness, trauma informed care, and racial inequity that is being widely embraced! Talk about Divine timing! My knowledge and training were being requested by Spirit to be shared with my community at this devastating time of the COVID pandemic. It was a win-win.
Learning to adapt to and to appreciate what is, “knowing it is in our highest blessing” is acceptance. Radical acceptance. Attempting to force any circumstances actually diminishes one’s self-respect and compromises one’s self-love. It also blocks our faith. When a situation is supposed to come to fruition, and in time it does, then we know that the Universe has strategized and lovingly schemed to place on our path what was meant to be all along. Being grounded deeply in faith, and trusting Spirit although we cannot “see” the proof is the peace of surrender that sustains our faith.
I am now a much sought after mental health and wellness consultant and educator, and in addition to my practice, and my educational mental health and wellness trainings, I also sit on a coalition that serves to educate, empower and save the lives of our youth through our work and engagement in our community. We teach about substance use disorder and mental illness as we raise awareness and increase our public health approach through our language and of our understanding of the facts of these brain disorders.
Once I learned to surrender and “give over,” to Divine direction and timing, and learned to experience each experience to the fullest in order to enhance my wellness and to connect more deeply myself, to others, and spiritually, all of my highest blessings unfold organically. The way that all beautiful and healthy things emerge.
SUGGESTIONS IN PRACTICING SURRENDER
Even after a hard fall, you accept that there is no other way to travel but to get back on the bike and pedal forward. You pick yourself up, get back on the bike, and begin your journey again, with caution, slow and steady. You’re holding on, eyes wide open, ready for the new adventure, and ready to explore all of the beauty and possibilities that the Universe will place on your path. This is your ride. You choose the speed you’re comfortable with as you listen to your inner GPS (God’s Plan of Surrender), and navigate the terrain with ease, with wonder, and with purpose. You can peel out, burn rubber, make sparks fly, or just coast, but most importantly, you can enjoy the ride!
It’s a feeling, a deep and connected feeling we experience that tells us that the Universe’s plan for us, and all that we desire—a co-creation—is unfolding. We experience feelings of a source, or force, pulling us like a magnet to metal, and we cannot break free of the current. We begin to feel euphoric and grateful in knowing that all that we have prayed for as we have done all of the right things for ourselves and others, is coming to fruition in the form of blessings. If we nurture this co-creation, we will be amazed at our own power when aligned with the love and guidance of the Universe.
When we believe that all that we have is crumbling into pieces, and we believe we have been left with nothing, we may finally surrender, and then, in that space, in our clarity, we find everything that we need.
When we surrender to God/Universe/Spirit, we are trusting that we are being Divinely guided on a path that will serve our highest blessings. We cannot see, or know, all that the Universe can, so we place our trust in the direction in which we are guided.
When you begin to feel fear escalating, when you are stepping away from faith, ask the Universe, “What action would best serve me in this moment?” Then, get still and listen to your intuition as you connect to your loving and enlightened guides, and that of your own “knowing.”
Ask for a specific sign that will be specifically meaningful to you. Write down the sign you have asked for. Wait for it. Allow your intuition to be your guide. When you receive it, memorialize it below, or in your own journal.
When we stand in our faith and connection, Spirit uses that channel to vibrate meaning through a variety of modalities specific to your relationship. Tune in. You will learn quite quickly the “lines of communication” that are open between you. The more that you communicate, the more Spirit will communicate. Now you have an ongoing dialogue! This will assist you in remaining in the present moment, to deepen your faith, and to guide you to remain awake and aware of your connection.
Since beginning your spiritual practice, in what ways have you surrendered?
How has it freed you? Served you? What have you learned through the practice of surrender? Do you feel any challenges in the practice of Surrender?
List the ways in which your thinking and behavior have become aligned since your surrender. How has your life changed as you practice Spiritual Surrender? Do you notice any improved physical health changes along the way as you have surrendered?
What modalities does Spirit use to communicate with you personally? How do you communicate with Spirit?
My book is tentatively scheduled to be released in December, 2021! Please check back for updates and free giveaways coming!
Love and blessings,