2020…What a year…
As I reflect on this year as it comes to an end, I observe the losses and the blessings of 2020. It has felt like a drive by…
I lost my mother in March right on the heels of a global pandemic…isolated and having a memorial via Zoom…two traumatic experiences. I am still processing my mother’s death and the deeply sad circumstances of her death. I allow myself small increments of time to process, and to adjust through healthy practices that are necessary for me to heal.
I found closure in a relationship that I had prayed would work out, but did not, and as is the Universe’s style, it worked out exactly as it was supposed to offering me that final sense of closure that I needed. I have learned so much about myself from this experience, and have grown exponentially. I wouldn’t change a thing. Today would have been our 6 year anniversary. I wish him well always.
My son, Matthew and I, have grown even closer through this Pandemic experience initially spending quality time once a week outdoors, and most recently after his move, daily texts and FaceTime once a week for an hour. We share our love of books and music, food and writing, politics and COVID concerns, and everything in between. This is my greatest blessing of 2020.
My ex husband, Alan and I, have grown our friendship, and we will become grandparents in May, 2021 as our daughter, Olivia, is expecting a baby girl. We are excited and so grateful to be able to enjoy this experience together.
Alan and I have worked through some deep wounds, and we cherish this friendship. We have done the work as adults do when there is a common goal and where both people are willing to do the work. No excuses, and no hiding from the difficult or challenging conversations. We learned to listen non-judgementally and to offer empathy and compassion as we worked through each conversation. We are always family.
My health has been challenging this year, but with my deep faith, self care and so much support from my children and friends, and doctors, I am doing well. I am proud of myself for staying the course in my treatment plan as I choose to heal. And my son, Matthew and one of my closest friends, David, have been my biggest supporters, along with my closest friend of 30 years, Miriam, and Bill and Vicky, best friends of 41 years. David said to me yesterday, “I’m proud of you.” He knows the ordeal I have been through with my health, yet always remaining positive and connected to my faith. We speak on the phone once a week, and text all throughout the week staying connected.
It is the loving connections that keep me grounded, feeling loved, and gives me the encouragement and strength to never give up. It is the consistency of these relationships that remind me that I am loved and cared about and that which adds to my wellness. Yes…consistency.
I have also been blessed with a career that I love in mental health and wellness as a coach and educator. I work with school districts and organizations as a consultant, and work privately with clients in my practice. It’s a slow but steady process of growing my business.
My greatest lesson this year is the realization of my inner strength and resolve, and how independent and healthy I have become after a lifetime of dependency on stimulants to numb out the trauma, and in unhealthy, co- dependent relationships. I have been forced out of my comfort zone, compliments of the Universe, and then left to find healthy solutions on my own to situations that just eight years ago would have had me reaching for pills to self medicate and numb out. And at times, engaging in suicidal behavior.
Of course, I am never truly alone as Spirit is always present and guiding me.
As I continue to evolve, I am grateful to have a platform to share my experiences in recovery and in wellness in the hopes of offering someone else tools for achieving wellness through spiritual solutions and self care.
Life is always reminding me of challenging times, and of blessings, and that it is all about how we choose to respond to each situation that builds our resilience and humility.
I am grateful for it all. I would not change anything. I have learned so much. I am richer for each experience.
May 2021 bless us with wellness, peace, joy, abundance and lots and lots of love.
Happy New Year.
Love and blessings,