Music, including melody and lyrics, is the universal language of expression. Music is the accompaniment to one’s experiences, and where one feels safe to “feel” and to emote.
Music reignites our soul and encourages us to reflect, to express our emotions, to be vulnerable, and deepens the process of processing our experiences.
Music invites us to remember, to connect to our joys and sorrows, to celebrate, and to heal in the safe space of our own memories.
Love, Wendy
Recently, the famous saying, “There are none so blind who will not see,” has pierced my heart. It has become very personal.
And so as I typically do, I asked a question of the angels as to how I will move forward with this information, and they answered me through music. A song entitled, “Carry Quietly” began to play on my Pandora station immediately upon posing my question.
I take it to mean to hold that relationship with love, not to challenge what I observe, to simply practice acceptance without judgement, and to “carry it quietly,” as “there are none so blind who will not see.”
Love can still shine through the cracks of our differences, illuminating the genuineness of the human condition.
By embracing acceptance, we cradle the beauty of imperfection, allowing compassion to blossom even in the face of ignorance.
And perhaps at another time, we plant another seed.
It’s in this quiet carrying that we find strength—not in force, but in gentle resilience, nurturing connections that remind us we are all part of a larger tapestry, woven together by shared experiences and emotions.
Perhaps we can even find a lesson of a deeper understanding of the human condition creating a deeper connection to Spirit, to ourselves, and to others as we “carry it quietly.”
Love, Wendy
Let us normalize making mistakes.
We all make our wisest decisions with the knowledge that we have based on life experiences at any given time.
As we evolve, we have the opportunity to embrace new wisdom and perspectives.
Embracing this process allows us to be more compassionate toward ourselves and others.
Forgive yourself and use your experiences to fuel your growth, transforming challenges into lessons that guide you toward a more enlightened path.
Being gracious is a spiritual practice.
Being morally complicit in unbound corruption, purposeful deceit and a complete lack of connection to the human condition is the epitome of evil.
“The devil is in the details.”
Love,
Wendy
We can never “un-know” what we now know to be the truth.
We can never “un-know” what we know happened.
We can only unlearn unhealthy behaviors that keep us stuck in a situation that is toxic, or with a person that is mentally unhealthy and causing us grief, and infusing their toxicity into our personal space.
We can learn new healthy practices to promote our own mental health and wellness.
And we can remind ourselves that their poor and toxic choices is not about us, but rather about their own lack of self love, their inability to feel empathy and compassion, and of the inability to self regulate.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
We are all experiencing such adversity and challenge and we worry constantly about how this is affecting our children no matter how old they are. There has been so much loss this year on so many different levels. Loss of life, loss of job, loss of home, the ability to buy food to eat, loss of security and feelings of safety, loss of contact in the way that the human condition thrives, and many of us wake up each day wondering “how does this end?“ And this year due to COVID, no Thanksgiving, no Hanukkah or Christmas in person. It’s a “ZOOMOLIDAY.”
I worry about my adult children in the different challenging situations that they are facing. I worry about my 12 year old granddaughter, Rosie, and wonder what emotional and physical challenges may manifest in the future related to the pandemic. I worry about my pregnant daughter, Olivia, who is a school counselor and COVID cases that are in her school, and her baby, my future granddaughter’s health, my daughter, Sarah, who is feeling deeply saddened by a broken relationship and the social distancing from our family and friends where hugs and connection are healing and that which she craves and longs for, especially now, and my beloved son, Matthew, who moved last week and placed us further away in proximity, and that is heartbreaking for both of us. I visited him and spent quality time with him every week. I am already crying as even more distance now prevails.
I worry. I cry. I pray. I meditate. I practice self care. And each day I get up, show up, stay connected to my loving family, friends, colleagues, and clients, and go to work. I live my life believing that God is in control and that these experiences are planned for us for reasons known only to Him. I trust Him. I have great faith that one day, in the coming years that we will all be reunited and truly appreciate all of what we have been blessed with…family.
Happy Thanksgiving however you are celebrating.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
AWARENESS OF SELF, OTHERS, AND SPIRIT
As we practice awareness of ourselves and others through spiritually aligned actions, especially when we are met with conflict, it is helpful to remember these four suggestions in arriving at a mutually beneficial and constructive resolution:
1. Do not react.
2. Listen without judgement of others, and practice non-judgement of ourselves.
3. BREATHE…Observe your feelings and emotions, allow them to pass through you and, if warranted, take a timeout.
4. Respond with respect, sincerely validate all feelings, and state a clear intention of a positive outcome that will be beneficial to both parties.
Recently, I created these four steps as a way to remind myself of how to practice implementing spiritually aligned actions, at a glance. My friend and colleague, and the author of the foreword to this book, David Rahman and I disagreed on his initial draft to be used.
In an email David sent me the draft, and as a teacher, I could see a few places that, in my opinion, needed to be edited for clarity of meaning. I edited the foreword, and sent it back for David’s approval. David sent it back immediately and said that he was not okay with some of the edits as he felt that it changed the meaning of what he was trying to convey.
Immediately, I felt old triggers sneak in. As a child and young adult, I was never heard and my feelings had to be kept quiet. Whenever I wanted to discuss or share my feelings, I was told to “get out of my sight or I’ll break your neck!” So, I was allowing my past traumatic experiences to bleed into this present situation, and David had not said or done anything remotely similar to my childhood experience that warranted the rush of feelings that surfaced! My heart began to race, my head got a tight feeling, and I felt hot all over. Without thinking or breathing, or allowing myself the space to understand David’s words, or to offer validation of what he was feeling, I sent the email right back to him and said, “Then maybe we shouldn’t use your foreword.” I was literally in a fight/flight mindset. I had hundreds of irrational thoughts swirling around in my mind that, looking back, had absolutely nothing to do with the present situation. So, having an old behavior mindset (we all falter, but it’s how quickly we recover that counts!) was my way of “being heard.” What happens with trauma is it leaves an emotional, behavioral and mental imprint. So, when something feels the same as that traumatic painful experience, it activates your thought patterns linked to the initial trauma. This makes you think, act, react and feel in the same way you did when it first happened even though it is a different experience. David emailed back and said, “Okay, we won’t use it.”
The moment that I read his words, it was as if Spirit embraced all of me and suggested I reach out to David coming from a humble, loving, and spiritually aligned action. I felt an immediate calm. I texted David and asked if we could have a conversation, and he said, “Of course!” David and I are close friends in addition to being colleagues, and I admire him in his own right as a man and as a business man who helps thousands around the world who are living with mental health challenges to “reset their mindset,” and I value his friendship. So, we were going to FaceTime in an hour (David lives in the U.K. and we FaceTime a few times a week). Before then, I wanted to write down, as a reminder, my spiritually aligned action(s) that would offer an outcome we could both be excited about, and that would act as a reminder to myself to remain present throughout our dialogue.
The four steps listed above came pouring onto the paper immediately. I knew Spirit was speaking through me as I wrote it down and placed it in front of me on my bed next to my laptop where I would soon FaceTime with David.
As I allowed David to explain why he was feeling that some of the edits were not edits he could live with, I could feel my anger/anxiety escalating and I could hear intrusive thoughts yelling at him, “You’re not right! I’m a teacher!” Trauma is hard to tame, but not impossible, and because I wrote down the steps I wanted to follow and had it within view, I kept saying to myself, “David has the right to feel how he is feeling, and I must validate his feelings as I would like my feelings to be validated. I listened to his words with an intermittent reminder to myself to come back to the present, and that this situation is the present and in no way linked to, or reflective of my past trauma.
We spoke and negotiated for about an hour, and the result is the eloquent and heartfelt foreword that we agreed upon.
When we are aware of our trauma and how it can pop up without warning, and we are willing to heal it, and we are connected to the Universe/God/Spirit, we can create magnificent and permanent change.
TRANSFORMATION THROUGH SELF-CARE, BOUNDARIES AND SPIRITUAL SOLUTIONS
It takes a lot of work to unlearn old thought patterns and behaviors that were ingrained in our minds as precious children by adults who didn’t have the tools to care for us properly. We internalized the lack of love and attention, and the deprivation of emotional and physical safety and blamed ourselves. As adults, we find it hard to love and forgive ourselves, setting no boundaries, people pleasing, allowing ourselves to continue in unhealthy relationships, and desperate to feel loved.
WE CAN UNLEARN AND RELEARN. It is absolutely possible.
Find a professional that best serves your specific needs and that you feel safe with. Do the work, be dedicated to unlearning, and make room for gorgeous new lessons. Open your mind to a whole new understanding of yourself and all you are capable of. Unlimited beliefs open the path of an eventful journey filled with transformation and bountiful opportunities. Love yourself before all else.
Part of my self-care is setting boundaries. It benefits my personal space and gives others information about my expectations and what I will, and will not accept. One who lives in an ego-based mindset takes my boundaries personally and is not in alignment with my journey, nor are they in alignment with Spirit. For me to practice self-care, I must remain in alignment only with those who respect my personal space, my boundaries, and my desires.
Boundaries are set up to act as barriers to unwelcome attitudes, unsolicited advice, unhealthy behaviors and unwanted advances. When we step on top of the line, blurring the lines of friendship or way over the line into another’s personal space, we are displaying lack of self-control, profound disrespect, and blatant disregard for another’s values, morals, and heartfelt beliefs. Once is a test; twice is a life lesson. Healthy living begins with healthy boundaries. State them directly and clearly.
I have come from the mindset of a young girl who sought attention and validation for all of my choices and successes, and sought to be cradled in my pain, to a grown ass woman whose healthy choices, self-healing, and successes promote wellness. I have had the presence of mind to make it all happen through the pain my way. I stand deeply in humility and with the deepest sense of gratitude. Seven years of recovery, lessons and experience deeply rooted in a spiritual transformation and self-love have prepared me to stand alone, yet always connected to Spirit. I am, also, however, surrounded by the love of so many faithful souls, as I navigate the present moment, and everyday challenges.”
“Throughout my active prescription drug addiction, I was blessed with a strong and loving connection to the Universe/God/Spirit. So, although my mindset was altered by the pills that I was taking, I still experienced a deep awareness to Spirit. I knew, intuitively, that I was gravely ill and that I needed to tell someone that I needed help to save my life, or that my death would be imminent. It was so clear to me that the more I prayed, the more I heard and felt Spirit present offering me many opportunities to ask for help. I would experience serendipity. I would receive messages and what I refer to as “signs” that would offer me solutions and reassurance that I was surrounded by loving Spirit. It is even a stronger presence today than ever before. My senses are highly aligned with Spirit’s connection and daily communication.
I can recall on the morning before I asked for help Spirit speaking to me through a moderator on the morning NBC newscast. I remember it so vividly and knew that the Universe/God/Spirit was speaking directly to me. I was completely awake, and aware of an intense spiritual awakening happening for me. The newscaster at that time, Matt L., began talking about prescription drug addiction and the seriousness of the way it had been on the rise, and the loss of life related to addiction. He went on further to say that there was help available, and offered resources. I remember this newscaster looking directly into the camera and saying, “There is help available.” I got a visceral feeling in the pit of my stomach. I knew he was speaking to me on behalf of the Universe/God/Spirit. I immediately began sobbing and saying, “Thank you,” to God for this reassurance. Being so self aware of my truth, and of my deeply rooted spiritual connection allowed me to finally speak my truth to my primary care physician, Dr. Bruce Levitt. Dr. Levitt sent me to the emergency room at our local hospital, and after 24 hours post medical stabilization, I was transferred to the detox and recovery unit. After five days, I left for California to visit my 100 year old grandmother who was my loving lifeline throughout my life, where I thought I would rest and recover on my own terms. However, after just 48 hours, I became aware of just how physically and mentally ill I was by the Grace of God’s profound presence. I was going through a severe withdrawal from having no pills for about a week. I was experiencing flu like symptoms that were crippling. I was experiencing severe cardiac symptoms, gastrointestinal symptoms, and severe irritability that I could not calm. I was experiencing serious delusions where I began seeing things and hearing things that nobody else heard or saw. I was painfully aware that I needed intensive treatment, inpatient, and medical supervision.
As alone as I felt in my mental and physical pain, I was so cognizant of my Spiritual connection and felt Divinely loved and supported. I never felt judged. I had a distinct “knowing” that the moment I would be ready to ask for this next stage of care, the Universe would guide me to safety through Spirit. Once I spoke my truth, out loud, and asked God to “show me the way out of this hopelessness, helplessness, and disease,” I was led directly and immediately to the people who could provide me with the care that I needed, and the tools to begin my recovery. I picked up the phone and called a facility in Costa Mesa, California. One of the substance abuse counselors that I met at the hospital during my five day detox in New York, provided me with this contact information when I left the hospital in case I decided to ask for further intensive care in the future. This was Divine intervention lovingly guiding me, and I was so aware of God’s plan. All I had to do was ask, and I would be guided. I asked, and I received.”
Write Pray Recover 