Privacy protects my peace.
No sharing.
No fanfare.
No request for validation…
Just…
Peace.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Tag: mentalhealthawareness
Politics and Emotional Regulation…Or Lack Thereof – Love, Wendy
It is physically painful and emotionally jarring to observe so many in society devoid of empathy, lacking the emotional intelligence and grace to hear and respect others’ perspectives, and choosing instead to purposefully berate and judge others by becoming combative without provocation.
I also read the most evil and hateful comments on social media,…And for this person in particular, I am reminded of what a small-minded, angry little man I was once tied to, and I thank God every day for removing such evil from my heart and space.
People can have radically different political beliefs, values, and perspectives and still treat one another with basic human dignity.
Some people seem to take pleasure from their high horse, in dehumanizing, humiliating, or attacking someone simply because they disagree with them…whether in person or the cowardly and manipulative setting of social media abuse.
Whatever someone’s political opinion… I am NOT witnessing substantive political discourse…Pure dysregulated contempt.
You don’t have to become numb to cruelty in order to protect your peace. You can see it, feel the sadness of it, recognize it for what it is…and then choose, “I don’t want this in my heart, my relationships, my home, or my space anymore.”
And perhaps that’s the most powerful contrast of all…we don’t have to become less discerning. We can become less willing to let anger and contempt become our way of being.
Remember…we are all sharing a common space while we are here…and when we put such evil out into the world, we have to be very careful because it can boomerang right back at us…
And when we try to run…there’s nowhere to hide.
Remember that.
For goodness sake…learn to emotionally regulate.
Hold your tongue. Close your laptop. Scroll on by. And don’t let everything that lives in your head find its way out of your mouth. Because that is where the “truth” about who we are is revealed.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
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Restoration:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy
Serenity and peace are an early Sunday morning walk, taken slowly and purposefully…listening to my favorite music and watching the pond water ripple as the wind gently blows across its surface.
Nowhere to rush to, but excited to get home to bake fresh gluten-free Chinese almond cookies…then enjoy a beautiful cup of coffee while looking around at the haven I’ve created and thinking about how far I’ve come in these past 14 years of recovery. My heart is filled with gratitude.
Serenity and peace are cultivated intentionally, in whatever ways we choose to create them.
Simple. Strategic. Single-handed.
Restoration isn’t complicated. It’s intentional.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Listen to your Gut:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy
Listening has become a lost art. Nothing reveals character faster than a conversation.
People often mistake talking for connecting. They aren’t the same. Real connection is built in the pauses…in the questions…in the genuine curiosity to understand another person’s inner world without rushing to tell your own story…to exercise empathy, and to cultivate true meaning between two people who are exploring each other…
The fastest way to make someone feel invisible is to interrupt the story they’re trying to tell…Be mindful that being heard is one of the purest forms of connecting…and eventually…being loved…
The questions we ask reveal far more about our character than the stories we tell…
As in the “eye of the tiger,” I am observing it all…
I’ve learned to observe less what a man says about himself and more how genuinely curious he is about my inner world.
Your intuition often speaks loudest while someone else is talking.
Curiosity is one of love’s earliest expressions.
Shhhhh…Ask. Listen. Respond.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
The Story of Ordinary Moments:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy
People reveal themselves in dozens of ordinary moments through patterns of micro-behaviors. Character isn’t usually exposed in dramatic events…it is revealed in the quiet, ordinary and purposeful choices people make every day.
Being consistent in showing up in a relationship. Following through without excuses. Remembering what matters to you. Making you feel emotionally safe instead of emotionally uncertain. Taking accountability rather than deflecting. Accountability is a form of intimacy. Offering kindness without it needing to be earned. A text just because…just to say, “I’m thinking about you.”
Just as importantly, people reveal themselves through what they consistently don’t do.
The lack of effort. The lack of curiosity about your life, while focusing most conversations on themselves. The lack of empathy when you’re hurting. The lack of reciprocity. The lack of honesty and integrity. The lack of consistency. The lack of emotional presence. The pattern of making excuses to shield their truth.
Over time, those absences become just as revealing as any action.
Patterns quietly tell the story that words often try to hide.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
A Constructive Response:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy
When an insect continues to circle your head incessantly, buzzing in your ear, you try to swat it away repeatedly, but unsuccessfully. Eventually, instinct kicks in, and you swat it to the floor.
Remember… when you repeatedly poke me, jab at me, and purposely inflict pain, get ready to be slammed—metaphorically…
Because I don’t get even…
I just write about it.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Like A Rock:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy
There comes a time when protecting your peace means walking away from relationships…no matter who the relationship is with…that repeatedly disrespect your boundaries, dismiss your experiences, and refuse to speak with kindness.
Relationships don’t require us to agree on every issue, nor do they require perfection. They should, however, offer a soft place to fall when life hurts…a place where you don’t have to brace yourself after a difficult day, where ridicule isn’t used as a weapon, your past isn’t questioned, and your heart isn’t put on trial.
Boundaries are empowerment.
They speak of self-respect. They promote peace and well-being.
Peace begins with me, and my peace is non-negotiable.
“My hands were steady
My eyes were clear and bright
My walk had purpose
My steps were quick and light
And I held firmly
To what I felt was right.
Like a rock, I see myself again…
Like a rock.” – Bob Seger
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Divine Redesign:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy
It may look like an obstacle…it may feel like it weighs a ton…and you may not understand it in the moment…
but in my lived experience…it is a divine re-design through a spiritual re-direction to true love, joy, peace and extraordinary experiences that you were looking for in all the wrong places…
Trust the detour. Take the road less traveled with an eager mind and open heart…
It may be the only road that leads you home to yourself.
And please hear me and believe me when I say that one day you’ll stop asking, ‘Why did this happen?’ and you will smile to yourself and quietly whisper , ‘Thank God it did.”
#truestory
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Time:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy
Time has changed everything…
and nothing at all.
Love,
Wendy
“Too Nice” is a Trauma Response: Soul Notes – Love, Wendy
Being ‘too nice’—something I have learned to curb as I began honoring my own needs and desires first—is often praised, but sometimes it develops as a survival strategy rather than a genuine expression of kindness…a “trauma response.”
Those of us who grew up in environments where love, approval, safety, or acceptance felt conditional may learn to keep the peace by putting everyone else’s needs ahead of their own. We may choose to avoid conflict, over-explain, have difficulty saying no, feel responsible for other people’s emotions, or consistently tolerate behavior that violates one’s boundaries.
The difference is that true kindness comes from choice, while people-pleasing often comes from fear—fear of rejection, abandonment, criticism, disappointment, or disapproval.
Kindness says: “I want to help.”
People-pleasing says: “I have to help, or something bad will happen.”
Many people spend years believing they are simply nice when, in reality, they are working tirelessly to earn love, safety, acceptance, and even what they think is peace. But there is nothing peaceful about repeatedly abandoning your own needs, desires, and truth in order to make others comfortable.
The healing often comes when a person realizes they can be compassionate and loving without abandoning themselves in the process…something that took me decades to learn…and finally…master…where self preservation is our greatest self care…
Boundaries and kindness can exist together.
Self care is the actions that we take to achieve wellness…and wellness is where we stand in our power.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
