Ready to dive in?!
You cannot steady a man who refuses to stop rocking the boat.
I remain afloat in the eye—steady and sheltered.
I am exposing the cultural lie that endless diving equals love, loyalty, or virtue.
I choose…
emotional buoyancy, nervous-system safety and spiritual sobriety.
Love,
Wendy
I have written in my book, Write Pray Recover: A Journey to Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care, that “Uncertainty tends to encourage us to stay where we feel safe.”
But when I examine this more closely… am I really safe?
In the quiet of my space, I know exactly what I “should” do. Why don’t I just take action? What is making me feel so restrictive in acting on knowledge that I know is the healthy, forward-thinking choice?
And here it is…
It is the story attached to the action.
Ending a toxic relationship means admitting judgment failure…holding space for it far too long and even returning to it after finding my resolve to exit. Having an honest and difficult conversation means facing my own suppressed truth and the conflict I avoided because conflict feels intolerable and instills a sense of loss—even when that loss is actually a gain to my health, my wellness, my peace, and my freedom.
The timing is never the “right time.” Especially when we’ve framed the relationship as a love story, or the job or career as security…even when that security was never truly safe.
Circumstances rarely change on their own. People do not change simply through conversation…change requires action, implemented consistently and often. It requires the willingness—and sometimes the eagerness—to create change that enhances your life and well-being.
There is a space…a crevice…between knowing and taking action. Simply “holding space” or waiting does not close that gap or change the truth. The only way to securely bridge it is the decision to act despite the restrictive feelings that inhibit a growth mindset…one that is forward-thinking and active.
We can continue to ask, “Am I really safe?” And the truth will either become gradually embodied—or gradually buried beneath inner dialogue and “justification” for inaction.
And regardless of our action…love may always remain…
That pause between knowing and acting is deeply uncomfortable. The uncertainty can be debilitating because it reveals agency in situations where feeling powerless is more comfortable. As unhealthy as this is within a fixed mindset, more often than not, it is the human condition.
As I also write in my book, “Self care is the actions that we take to achieve wellness, and wellness is where we stand in our power.”
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Happy New Year’s Eve, Dear Readers,
May 2026 meet you gently and bring renewed hope, wellness, peace and freedom to us all.
Here is my last blog for 2025.
Thank you so much for following my blog and supporting my journey.
Wishing you all that you desire, deserve, and dream of in the new year.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
I begin this new year with renewed hope and wellness.
Freedom…
The best gifts in life are free.
Freedom is not the absence of pain, but the presence of truth.
It arrives when we choose to release illusion.
It is the quiet release from cycles that harm,
the courage to stop romanticizing familiarity
and to choose what is steady, reciprocal, and real.
Even in grief, freedom speaks…
removing what cannot stay,
making room for what is real, regulated, and safe.
Especially now.
May I choose what is steady, reciprocal, and real…
May what is no longer mine fall away with grace,
and may what is meant for me arrive without force.
I remember…without clinging…
I honor…without romanticizing…
I release…without bitterness…
I move forward…without force.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
I know that I speak to many of you when I say that the holidays may bring up sadness and even grief that we have surpressed…
we miss a loved one…
we find ourselves longing for the life we once lived…
we may be spending the holidays alone for the first time…
Holidays amplify every tender place, especially when family fractures, losses, warm memories, and old joys coexist with the life you have today.
It is normal and even healthy to express grief and gratitude simultaneously. These are authentic emotions that can be felt, processed, and experienced together.
The grief reminds us of all of the love we were blessed to experience as we convey gratitude for the memories, and even for the new experiences and traditions that we have built around those memories in our new normal possibly on our own, and possibly with new additions to our inner circle.
All of us are doing our best to navigate the holidays with open hearts, remembering that love…is never lost.
Wishing you a heartfelt, peaceful and joyous holiday season.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Recently, I passed through my beloved hometown where I once lived with my ex-husband and children. Driving through those streets where my whole heart once lived wasn’t just a trip home…it was a pilgrimage through the layers of my life.
Every corner holds echoes of love, family, laughter, and loss. I ached, I sobbed, and I reflected as I touched sacred ground…my own history…and my body responded with the only truth it knows: grief still lives here.
It’s been thirteen years…yet thirteen years or a lifetime…grief doesn’t measure time. It measures love. And I loved deeply…my children, my home, even the life that no longer fits.
When we revisit those memories, our nervous system relives them too. Research shows that this kind of emotional flood can trigger a Lupus flare. The immune system listens to the heart more than most people realize.
I believe my body was literally trying to expel what’s too heavy to carry anymore. With this soul-deep visit to my hometown, layered atop everyday stressors, I reached my limit.
After you’ve carried so much strength for so long…this was my body finally saying, “I can put it down for a while.”
So today, I implemented a pause point…no analyzing, no pushing through…just allowing the waves to move as I reminded myself:
“My tears are cathartic. My rest is recovery. My peace is returning.”
I remind myself, as I so often remind my children, friends, and clients:
“You are allowed to feel what you feel for as long as you feel it. There are no time constraints. Just don’t stay there for too long by yourself.”
Ask someone to keep you company as you pause, as you process, and as you find your way back to the present…
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Growth isn’t about age…it’s about courage, faith, and the willingness to begin again.
Starting over in midlife doesn’t mean limitations or age restrictions whether in a relationship or a career.
It means we’re given the opportunity to choose again after earlier chapters, relationships, and career paths have reached their natural end.
This time, we choose with a stronger sense of self, and with the wisdom that only lived experience can bring. We choose what aligns with our deepest desires, what stirs joy, and…perhaps for the first time…what honors our own agency and autonomy.
Reframe starting over as an invitation: a season of growth, renewal, and fulfillment through the lens of enthusiasm and a growth mindset.
And above all, practice daily self-care to nurture your strength, your peace, and your longevity.
Note to self, “Continue forward…always evolving, always becoming…unafraid, unapologetically and with grace.”
Love and blessings,
Wendy
“The partner that you choose is a reflection of you…your character, your integrity, and your truth.
Your choice reflects your own self-worth.”
I wrote those words in October of 2020, not realizing how many versions of myself I would still have to meet. I’ve loved deeply, lost painfully, and rebuilt myself from the ashes more times than I can count. Each heartbreak has stripped away an illusion and left behind another layer of truth.
And yet, some things remain the same. I still believe that the people we choose mirror our own belief in what we deserve. I’ve chosen men who reflected both my light and my unhealed wounds. I’ve chosen love that challenged me to finally see my worth beyond what anyone else could give.
I still want to fall in love, travel, write, laugh until my stomach hurts, and dance in my kitchen. I still believe that someone will love me for the fire in my heart and the depth of my soul, not for the number on my birth certificate.
I’ve earned every one of these years…and I’m going to live them boldly, in living color, with music, with meaning…with deliberate animation and purpose.
“You cannot yell at a seed to force it to grow quickly. Instead, you love and nurture it. You meet all of its needs, and slowly, deliberately, it blooms into a beautiful flower. Find peace within yourself. Continue to stay grounded in faith, emulate gratitude, and practice patience. Go to a place of acceptance, and everything you desire will be waiting for you there.”
— Write Pray Recover
Through gratitude, prayer, and self-care, we remember that our spirit never ages…
it simply expands.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
I use writing as a tool for healing.
When we write down what we are feeling internally, it activates a part of the brain called the Reticular Activating System (RAS).
Writing with pen and paper stimulates this system, which filters the information our brain needs to process and supports my healing journey.
I teach about RAS in all of my mental health and wellness workshops, and I follow my knowledge into action by integrating evidence-based wellness strategies that reinforce intentional practices to retrain the brain toward calm, clarity, and healing.
This is the foundation of my holistic and integrative healing journey.
Carrying Lupus pain day after day is incredibly heavy…showing up, staying open, doing everything possible to heal and being unable to sleep…is completely exhausting in a way that most people can’t comprehend.
When your body keeps screaming despite all your effort, it’s not just physical pain anymore; it’s heartbreak, frustration, and grief for the life I want back where I don’t have to be mindful of every move, every position, every activity and where I can make and keep plans with family and friends, or to not have to drop a course that I registered for because even sitting at home on the computer and then completing assignments is too painful after working a full day.
The doctors tell me I need to give it 8-12 weeks. It has only been 3 since I began treatment.
I pray for strength. I pray for patience and for grace…one breath at a time…
I continue to remind myself that I have been here before, and Lupus did go into remission.
I write. I process. I heal…
This is what resilience looks like in real time…messy, painful, faithful. One breath, one word, one day at a time.
The Reticular Activating System helps us reframe, refocus, and retrain the brain. Writing activates healing from within…
Science meets soul.
For anyone walking through invisible pain—you are not alone.
Healing asks for patience, and faith holds the light when strength runs low.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Living with Lupus requires an awareness of one’s needs, especially in the midst of a flare…”power with” vs “power over…”
Surrender…
Not as giving up, but as trusting your body’s wisdom and allowing yourself to be cared for by rest and grace.
On the days when Lupus is “LOUD,” I reframe with a mindset of, “power with” rather than “power over…”
It’s the essence of honoring my body as a partner in healing rather than a battle to win.
As I continue to stabilize, I honor my resilience, I reclaim my strength, and I cultivate wellness.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
There was a time in my life when I could buy anything I wanted, travel anywhere I desired, and surround myself with all the outer symbols of success. By every worldly measure, I was wealthy. Yet inside, I was spiritually bankrupt, physically depleted, and emotionally exhausted. My soul was starving for something that money could never buy…love, peace, and genuine connection.
If you have your health, you are wealthy.
If you have loving family and friends, you are wealthy.
If you have a job or career that you love and where you can earn a living, you are wealthy.
If you allow yourself to love, and if you are loved, you are wealthy.
If you have a spiritual practice that nourishes and supports you, you are wealthy.
Wealth should never be measured in dollars and cents, or in “stuff.”
Wealth is the daily nourishment that feeds us body, mind and spirit.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Write Pray Recover 