Tag: mental-health

Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

To My Fellow “Humans…”

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A letter to my fellow “humans…”

Your outrage is not only understandable…it’s justified. What you’re feeling is the deep pain and fear of watching a country you care about veer into dangerous, undemocratic territory, while those who swore an oath to protect its people and principles appear complicit, cowardly, or corrupt.

You are not alone in your devastation. Millions are witnessing what feels like the dismantling of democracy in real-time. A narcissistic leader consolidating power, stripping away rights, threatening essential programs like Medicaid, and stacking the system with loyalists is the exact playbook of authoritarian regimes.

And yes…the Senate, the branch of government meant to check executive overreach, has largely enabled it through silence, self-preservation, or ideological alignment. That betrayal feels like a punch to the gut. You’re watching a system built on supposed accountability abandon its most vulnerable citizens.

And…we are all deeply concerned about our children, grandchildren, and our aging population, our population who depend upon our government for peace, protection and prosperity.

The fear is real. The grief is real. And you’re allowed to feel all of it. Let yourself rage. Let yourself mourn. Let yourself scream.

And when you’re ready…remember this: we’ve been through dark times before. Civil rights leaders, Holocaust survivors, the LGBTQ+ movement, women’s suffrage—they all stared down evil and refused to be silent. 

People are not able to self soothe right now when their lives and liberty and all they depend on to live with dignity has been stripped. Saying, “Just breathe” is not a solution…and feels insulting. People, myself included, need to seek personal solutions that will ensure our loved ones and our own protection. We must have the right to personal agency. I am FUMING and feeling deep loss. I am grieving the loss of our democracy and the loss of personal agency…of freedom.

Your fury is sacred. It’s what keeps people from going numb. It’s what births movements. 

Here’s what is true…

  • This is a crisis of democracy.
  • The system is not broken…it is operating exactly as it was rigged to function when power becomes more important than people.
  • And people are not crazy for feeling terrified, betrayed, and enraged.

You are not overreacting. You are under-protected.

KNOW THIS…

What’s happening now…stripping away Medicaid, threatening bodily autonomy, attacking marginalized communities, deportation, attacking free speech, cozying up to authoritarianism…is strategic. When the chaos is constant, the goal is to wear you down. To make you believe it’s inevitable. To silence your scream by overwhelming it.

Your clarity…your refusal to be gaslit…is a radical act.

EXERCISE YOUR PERSONAL AGENCY!

Document. Your voice matters. Write, speak, post, protest. Authoritarians win when dissent is silenced. As I ALWAYS say, “Speak your truth…unapologetically and loudly.”

Local action. National politics feel unmovable, but local organizing changes lives. Find local candidates or grassroots groups protecting healthcare, women’s rights, or immigrant families. Show up!

Support mutual aid. If institutions fail, communities survive by taking care of each other. Look into ways to directly help families in need—through money, food, rides, or housing support. Even small acts are acts of rebellion.

Call your representatives—even if they don’t listen. Flood their inboxes. Let them know you’re watching. History records silence. Make yours heard.

Protect Your Nervous System (Not to Pacify—But to Persevere)

You’re not soothing for comfort. You’re stabilizing so you can keep showing up.

  • Rage-walk, run, go to the gym and find a punching bag to release aggression. Self soothe in any healthy way that grounds you and releases the anger.
  • Scream in your car, into a pillow, out in nature.
  • Write what you want to scream at the Senate and burn it. Do it often.
  • Talk to others who feel this too. Don’t isolate. Start a meetup group for others of like mindedness where you can constructively share, share a coffee, a walk, a smile of comfort.

Your nervous system isn’t weak for panicking…it’s wise. It knows something terrible is happening. The goal is to tend to it, not to silence it.

And as in so many events in my 67 years, I once again ask, “Where the hell was God when the world was/is burning?

And I know I am not alone in screaming this into the void. People have been asking this for centuries—from the ashes of Auschwitz, from the slave ships, from mass graves, from school shootings, from sickbeds and war zones and every place where evil has walked free while the innocent begged for mercy.

What we are confronting is not just grief or anger—it’s betrayal. A kind of soul-level betrayal that cuts deeper than anything else: “I believed there was something sacred, protective, maybe even loving…and it didn’t show up when it mattered most.”

This is a shattering thing to face.

So if your conclusion right now is: “There is no God. We are on our own.” — I hear you. That may be your truth in this moment, and it’s earned through heartbreak, not cynicism.

I say this:

If there is a God…maybe it’s not some all-controlling sky-father who intervenes like a puppet master. Maybe it’s not the version that we were taught in churches or books or prayers.

Maybe God is the spark that refuses to die inside you, even when you’re sobbing and hopeless and ready to give up.
Maybe God is the grit in your voice when you say, “This isn’t right, and how can I help?”
Maybe God is in you, not above you…A “collective consciousness…”

I know that right now…in all my fury and grief…I am more honest, more righteous, more awake than all the false prophets and smiling politicians put together. 

And if a God exists, I imagine they’re weeping and screaming right alongside me/us, not floating above the pain like it’s someone else’s problem.

I haven’t any answers. I will not offer a spiritual spin because I am at a loss. But I am here as a witness to all of our pain. 

We must stand together in our pain and not allow the chaos to confuse us…

We must be…

A companion and solution seeker in the devastation.

Love,

Wendy

Soul Notes

After the Storm – Love, Wendy

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I’ve lived through storms that could have swallowed me.
I’ve known love that vanished without warning,
and words that were louder than actions.

I carry a story shaped by fire,
and still—I choose to speak gently, to hope bravely,
to open my heart with discernment, not fear.

If someone is drawn to my light
but disappears when it flickers with truth—
that’s not my failure.
That’s their unfamiliarity with real strength…
and a reflection of their lack of readiness.

One’s silence is not a reflection of my worth, my story, or my strength. My past is not a liability—it’s a testament to my power. Anyone who doesn’t see the resilience, courage, and transformation in my story is simply not ready for a woman who’s done the hard work to rise.

Sometimes people are moved by intensity in the moment, but when it comes time to actually step into something real—with complexity, depth, and vulnerability—they retreat. Not because you were too open, but because they weren’t ready for the kind of truth and intimacy that requires.

I will continue to live out loud…not just to live in my truth…
but to hold the space for others who need an example of “to thine own self be true.”

This isn’t just about me.
It’s about the sacred ripple of authenticity…
how one voice saying “this is who I am”
gives permission for another to whisper, “me too.”

Ask yourself,
“Where are you holding back in speaking your truth for fear of being ghosted? What would you tell a dear friend in this same situation if they wanted to hide their scars that revealed their own fight to live? Whose silence might your truth help to break?”

To be an advocate for others…we must always share our own story to stand in our truth.
This is the space where we stand in our power.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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S.P.E.A.R. STOP PAUSE EMOTE ALLOW REST – LOVE, WENDY

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We all have feelings and emotions. Some days they may stop us in our steps and say, “Hello, I need to be acknowledged!” Sometimes this may be a delayed trauma response, or it may be a culmination of chronic stressors where we feel overwhelmed.

Give your feelings a voice. Honor your emotions.

“STOP. PAUSE. EMOTE. ALLOW. REST. – S.P.E.A.R.“

S.P.E.A.R. and S.W.I.M. Into Wellness! (You can read about this in my book, Write Pray Recover:A Journey To Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care https://a.co/d/a8lzF4O

When you feel triggered, or you feel your symptoms escalating…S.P.E.A.R.

This is a non-linear recovery plan that is specific to your health and wellness goals.

STOP where you are.

PAUSE TO BE PRESENT. PATIENTLY PROCESS. Take one slow deep breath through your nose, and exhale slowly through your mouth.

Repeat three times. Your breath is your most accessible tool to intervene with your physiology in real time. Focus on your breath to align with the present moment.

EMOTE safely anything that you are feeling. You are allowed to feel whatever you feel!

Try the Alternate Nostril Breathing below to self soothe as you release your feelings/emotions.

Allow yourself to feel, and take whatever time you need. Practice extra self care.

ACCEPT your emotions and feelings. Take as long as you need to practice acceptance and validate what you are feeling in a safe space without self judgement. Acceptance promotes peace.

REST and RE-ALIGN, and allow yourself time to process. Hydrate!

Write about it! Take your time with this step. Then, RE-FRAME using a healthy mindset and being open to new perspectives to re-frame the experience as you move forward. Ask yourself, “In moving forward, how can I use my self awareness of this trigger/ stressor in conjunction with my self regulation skills in order to navigate constructively? (Daily self care to stay ahead of the stressor? Take a “time out?” Etc.)

For those who mean well by telling you to “Focus on your blessings! Be positive,” give yourself permission and power to realize when others do not know how to support us appropriately, and do not have the skill, or the experience and words that we may need at the time, and know that they mean well. And, some may be uncomfortable observing as we experience emotions and feelings because it may force them to go within where they may be suppressing their own feelings and emotions that also need validation.

We ALL have mental health.

When we are feeling mentally unwell, we do not need to “focus on our blessings and all the positives in our lives.“ What we need is a safe space, and the time, however long that is for us, to experience the experience.

S.P.E.A.R. yourself into the experience. Ask for support if you feel you need support. This begins the healing process.

Whatever healthy practices you need to heal, do it…and take your time.”

To read more about my S.P.E.A.R. and S.W.I.M. Into Wellness component of my “Integrative Approach to Wellness” program, read my book, Write Pray Recover:A Journey To Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care. https://a.co/d/a8lzF4O

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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Reset with your breath – Love, Wendy

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Regulate your nervous system.

Stay in control of your personal agency, naturally. Keep your mind sharply on your breath which is the most challenging part of using deliberate breathing.

Deliberate breathing brings the body and mind into a state of calm and focus.

Reset…

Take in two sharp inhales. Exhale long and slowly.

When you find yourself triggered, or your emotions are causing you physical symptoms of anxiety, use your breath.

It is your most accessible tool to intervene with your physiology in real time.

When you make mindful breathing/deliberate breathing a regular practice which becomes part of your lifestyle, it is easier to implement, and to be successful during times of high stress and anxiety.

Go to a quiet place and keep your mind on your breath. 
Using substances are only a temporary fix. We always have our breath and it is our most accessible tool to intervene with our nervous system in real time.

I have 13 years of sobriety now and breathing is one of my go to’s when I feel panic or anxiety. 

I had to use this on Friday night and even though I’ve practiced mindful breathing for over a decade, it took me almost an hour to re-center and recover. And afterwards, your body can feel exhausted. This is normal as you guide your brain to center.

It takes a lot of mental strength to stay focused on your breath and not the symptoms of the anxiety episode that you are experiencing. This is why it is so vital to make this a daily practice. 

Your brain then recognizes immediately the pattern of focus and calm. It strengthens the neural pathways over time that support relaxation and focus. It creates an automatic response to stress that promotes emotional regulation and resilience!


To work with me one on one in my coaching program, call 845–263–4094.

Love, Wendy

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Caring for your mental and physical health during these unprecedented times – Love, Wendy

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The brain has its limits when it comes to processing information, especially when it’s complex or emotionally charged.

Psychologically, we tend to get overwhelmed when we are bombarded with too much uncertainty, bad news, or major shifts in their environment. This type of overload (allostatic load–a physiological stress response when repeatedly exposed to stress which is affecting our wellness. DAILY self care is needed for balance and wellness) is where stress hormones like cortisol ramp up, and it becomes harder to focus or make decisions.

When we are observing our fundamental rights and our democracy under attack constantly throughout the day and in a very short amount of time, we feel our safety net blowing in the wind and our once solid foundation crack.

We are watching the erosion of our rights and freedoms.

Practicing extra self care, especially during times of external chaos is the one thing we have control over. We must preserve our personal power. It’s like putting on your own oxygen mask first before you can help others. Our family, friends, our adult children, our grandchildren, our students may be looking to us for comfort and guidance.

By preserving our personal power, we are more inclined to stay grounded and resilient when everything feels overwhelming, and in this space we are able to support others.

I literally felt breathless last night as I tried to fall asleep. I had to do mindful breathing for awhile before I was able to feel more at peace. Deliberately implementing a relaxed breathing pattern calms a dysregulated nervous system.

Our breath is our most accessible tool to intervene with our physiology in real time.

I made the following changes and I am suggesting these to you, my dear readers, as a possible source of alleviating the chronic stress and taking back your personal power.

  1. Turn off all news notifications on your cell phone. I only left on the “emergency notification.”
  2. I only watch the weather on the television, never the news broadcast as they tend to bombard us with the same information over and over.
  3. Engage in self care practices that bring you peace and wellness. There is a wonderful mantra that I practice from “A Course In Miracles” that says, “I can choose peace rather than this.” Whenever I begin to feel my body tightening and my heart racing, I remind myself of this simple yet powerful mantra.
  4. I am a writer, so writing is so cathartic for me as I release my thoughts and emotions onto the paper. Perhaps journaling your thoughts and emotions would be helpful. Writing stimulates the RAS Reticular Activation System in the brain and this part of the brain filters and processes information. SO EFFECTIVE.
  5. Getting outdoors to breathe the fresh air and to release the overwhelming negative energy through a walk in nature is so comforting. I always come home feeling calmer, more peaceful and hopeful.
  6. I listen to “Calm Radio” on Pandora.
  7. I practice mediation and mindful breathing and stretching.
  8. Give yourself whatever you need…i.e., your favorite cup of tea, coffee, light candles, essential oils, etc. A healthy practice supports a healthy mind and body.
  9. Talk to a trusted friend or loved one. DON’T get stuck on the negative. Going around and around about the negative creates a downward spiral of our mental health.
  10. IN ANY MOMENT WHERE WE FEEL STRESSED OR TRIGGERED, WE CAN CHOOSE TO USE OUR “RATIONAL AND WISE MIND” VS OUR “EMOTIONAL MIND,” IF WE ARE PRACTICING ONGOING SELF CARE. IN THIS MOMENT, WE CAN STOP AND ASK OURSELVES, “WHAT ACTION/PRACTICE WILL SERVE ME BEST IN THIS MOMENT? WHAT WILL PROMOTE MY WELLNESS?”

Allow your brain space and time to receive information, and use the information as it pertains to your individual situation.

Most of what we are experiencing is out of our control. Focus on yourself and your loved ones.

Do whatever you can to preserve your physical and mental health by practicing daily self care, and do it often throughout the day.

Release any thoughts of worry. Be prepared for unexpected events in whatever way brings you peace. And remind yourself often…

“I can choose peace rather than this…”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

From Stress to Serenity- Love, Wendy

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Our emotional health is such an overlooked factor in influencing the length and quality of an individual’s life.

Shaping lifespan refers to the ways in which both genetic and environmental factors influence the length and quality of an individual’s life. The concept encompasses a range of biological, social, and lifestyle determinants that interact to affect longevity. 

Poorly managed, or unmanaged chronic stress, an allostatic load, fuels unhealthy coping habits like overeating and substance use that promotes dis-ease, eroding health and wellness, and shortening one’s lifespan, especially when we are not taking time to practice self care to balance our emotional and physical states. When we are experiencing chronic stress, the body remains in a constant state of ‘fight or flight,’ which leads to persistent inflammation, hormonal imbalances, and a weakened immune system.

This ongoing wear and tear, known as allostatic load, accelerates the aging process, increases susceptibility to chronic illnesses like heart disease, diabetes, and autoimmune disorders, and can severely impact mental health.

Moreover, in severe cases, poor emotional health impacts one’s longevity when individuals who are feeling unwell, emotionally, or living with a mental health disorder that goes untreated, tragically end their own lives prematurely…which is occurring at unprecedented rates.

At this time of year between holiday stress, financial stress, living with a chronic illness, grieving those we’ve lost, or reflecting on a year filled with challenges, it’s imperative to remember the importance of self-compassion and balance. 

When we actively practice self-care—whether through mindfulness, exercise, healthy eating, or seeking professional support—we can counteract the effects of stress, restore balance to our bodies and minds, and cultivate a more sustainable, healthier lifestyle.

When we invest in our well-being, we promote long-term health, vitality, and even longevity. The choices we make for ourselves on a daily basis either creates inflammation, or wellness.

Please remember to take a break when you need to during this season, and throughout the year as a lifestyle practice.

This can look like unplugging from social media, daily intentional self care, or reaching out to a trusted friend or mental health professional when you need support.

TAKE A BREAK.

For more self care and spiritual solution ideas to manage your chronic stress, read my book, Write Pray Recover:A Journey To Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care.

This is an interactive journal that guides one from stress to serenity.

https://a.co/d/3ZSZsHv

Wishing you and yours a healthy, joyous and blessed holiday season.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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Mental Health and Wellness – Love, Wendy

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Our mental health is on a continuum and on any given day, for any given reason, at any given time we move along that continuum and we must be armed with a variety of tools at our disposal as we move along the continuum.

Movement along the continuum could relate to biological factors, environmental factors and even how we practice daily self-care.

Self care is one of the most effective ways in managing our symptoms and to stay ahead of our symptoms. This is especially true when we are aware of our body/mind connection and recognize the symptoms in the early stage of escalation. With this information, we can intervene immediately, and/or ask for support.

We all have mental health.

Our relationship to self driven by self care, self respect and self preservation above all else is the foundation of wellness.

Wellness becomes not just an outcome, but a living practice grounded in our ability to honor and protect the integrity of who we are, and how we experience life.

Love,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

A Gentle Reminder of Self Care – Love, Wendy

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The holiday season is here, and I like to remind our community how important practicing self care is every day, and especially during the holiday season where we may feel triggers more easily when engaging with people and specific situations that we may not engage in during the rest of the year.

Prioritize your well being. No job or relationship is worth jeopardizing your wellness.

Purposefully create a safe, quiet space for healing. You will NEVER be able to heal in the midst of chaos or in the company of those who are infusing unhealthy behaviors into your space and causing you anxiety.

The thought that family bonds are “forever and unbreakable” sadly is a fallacy. ANY person who consistently infuses toxicity, drama and triggers anxiety into your space is NOT enriching your life and wellness.

Healthy relationships should enrich, not complicate your life into a spiral of confusion and despair.

Make peace (this takes time and should not be “set” to a timeframe) with the people and situations that are not serving you and discharge them from your life. If we don’t accept these realities and eliminate the emotional and toxic stressors from our lives, it WILL significantly hamper our recovery from the situation and keep us stuck in a dysfunctional mindset and relationship/job/situation.

Your only job in practicing self care is to re-visit your own expectations of self, create realistic, achievable goals, and to create a small action step to achieve that goal. Move forward slowly and strategically. Offer yourself as much time as needed to heal.

YOU ARE ALLOWED TO FEEL WHATEVER YOU FEEL FOR AS LONG AS YOU FEEL IT.

YOU are the one who is in charge of your thoughts, behaviors, relationships, happiness, and on the flip side, the unhealthy connections that exacerbate and fuel anxiety, sadness and can even manifest in physical symptoms of dis-ease.

There is NO quick fix.

Being in a hurry to “fix” it only fuels anxiety.

It is a daily process of reminding ourselves of how we want to feel, daily, and how we want to be received by others. What kind of environment do we want to create for ourselves and those we CHOOSE to allow into our space.? We need to ask ourselves, “What will bring me joy today? What do I need in this moment to feel peace? How do I need to love myself today?”

Inherently, we all know the answers to these questions.

The way in which we respond to these self reflection questions directly influences the reality that we create including the relationships and situations that we choose and allow into our space.

1. Speak your truth to yourself first. “To thine own self be true.”

2. Be selfish with your energy. CONSERVE your energy by not expending it in any negative connections through worry, anxiety, anger, etc.

3. Set healthy boundaries. Say “I love myself and my body. My boundaries will speak to others what I will and will NOT accept into my space and energy.”

4. Make a mindful decision to create a safe space for yourself whether at home, at work, or out enjoying fun times with others. Make a mindful decision to never engage in an energy that will drain your own energy.

5. Empower yourself through self care, self compassion and self preservation. This is the way that we empower and teach others.

For more on self care, read my book, Write Pray Recover: A Journey To Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care available on Amazon and online bookstores worldwide. Or click here: http://www.writeprayrecover.com

Wishing you a blessed and peaceful holiday season.

Love and blessings,

Wendy