Tag: mental-health

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Roadblocks to Love:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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People don’t connect the way they used to…or love the way they used to. Something has changed.

Relationships now feel like a complicated road map. Turn to the left and you’re met with a brick wall. Turn to the right and you’re on a one-way street. Try to turn back, and there are barriers blocking your way…

Roadblocks to love.

It’s as if we’ve all been caught in endless “traffic”…so much noise, so much exhaustion that we no longer have the energy for the commitment of a long lasting, winding journey of true intimacy. We take the quickest route, the shortest visit, the surface-level conversation that demands the least of us — where most people I meet seem to feel “safe.”

I see it in the “Good Morning, how are you?” that is mumbled as they never stop to make eye contact…not authentic…and the times when we are experiencing hardship, heartbreak, or pain and those “safe” in their own cocoon look the other way in order to avoid a conversation that could be uncomfortable. People have forgotten how to offer empathy.

But I remember another way. When I was growing up, and even when my children were growing up, we greeted each other with a kiss on the cheek, a hug, and a smile. Connection was natural, tactile, warm and animated. Today it’s barely a hug, sometimes just a tap where one barely leans in…a gesture that says, “Don’t get too close.”

What has happened to humanity? Have we become so afraid of intimacy that we keep love at arm’s length?

I believe we have. Fear has replaced trust. Self-protection has replaced presence. And yet…my heart still longs for the genuine embrace, the unhurried conversation, the love that lingers.

So I choose to keep loving the “old way.” To keep showing up fully. To keep offering a hug, a smile, and a heart wide open. Because even if the world has changed, my love, my compassion, my authenticity remains.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Foolish Games:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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You can never build trust with someone who runs from accountability.
And…you can never grow with someone who sees boundaries as a personal attack.
They don’t reflect…they deflect.

They don’t communicate…they react rather than respond constructively.

Never allow what someone else brings the table be the only thing you have to eat.

And…strive to be respected, rather than to be liked.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Stillness in a Turning World:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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Reflection
This Soul Note was written in the early morning hours, when pain and uncertainty had been my unwelcome companions for many days. My body felt fragile, my heart was tender from recent loss, and yet… the quiet of dawn reminded me that even in struggle, every moment is a gift.

Stillness is not the absence of movement — it is the presence of awareness. I realized that life keeps turning whether we are ready or not, but we can choose to anchor ourselves in the now. In stillness, gratitude blooms. In stillness, we heal.

Stillness in a Turning World

Each day is precious.
Each hour is precious.
Each moment is precious.
Each second is precious.

Experience each one fully — in its presence, in real time.
Direct your energy into each fleeting moment.
Direct, and redirect.
Experience every experience in wonder… in awe… in gratitude.

Savor.
Contemplate.
Experience.

Even as the world turns and time moves on,
the soul can remain still — anchored in the now.

Seconds turn into minutes… into hours… into days… into weeks… into years…
in an “untimely manner.”

Ask yourself, “How can I re-direct my experiences and thoughts into the present moment?

Mantra: Between the stillness and the passage of time…I breathe, and I experience each moment.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Chasing to be Chosen – Love, Wendy

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Chasing to be chosen is a trauma response.
Your nervous system is running on an old program where you thought you had to earn someone’s love. You’re confusing inconsistency with connection. Sometimes, people idealize the other person or the potential of the relationship, overlooking the red flags of inconsistency.

“In some cases, inconsistent behavior can be a form of manipulation, where one person is keeping the other “on their toes” to maintain power and control.”

Take back your power. YOU are worthy in every moment without anyone else’s validation.

Familiar doesn’t mean healthy. It may feel like home when you haven’t felt anything different in relationships, including with your caregivers as a child. If it felt like chaos and dysfunction, that’s what “home“ feels like to you… this is your comfort zone…where you feel safe.

So when they pull away, it feels like you are “homeless.” And when they come back, even if it’s for a second, your “home” is actually a dopamine rush that settles your mind and nervous system only for a minute until they disappear..again…and they will.
It’s an addictive cycle of chaos…of control…certainly not love.

Set healthy boundaries to protect your overall wellness. You are not responsible for their inconsistent, dysfunctional behavior.

A true connection is built on mutual respect, consistency and an eagerness to support the other person in fulfilling their needs and enhancing their well being…reciprocity…not causing them constant confusion and dysregulation of their nervous system.

Rather than romanticizing, or excusing their behavior, create a grounding anchor mantra where you speak the truth of their harmful behavior. This is your boundary and clarity statement — it keeps harmful energy out.

Your brain can’t hold both “he loves me” and “his behavior is harmful to my well being” in focus without blurring them. This separates them so you stop merging them into one person.

The minute you begin to replace the romanticizing with the TRUTH of their inconsistent and harmful behavior, you guide your brain back to the truth of the “relationship.”

Suggested Mantra: The man I loved exists only in moments. The man I must protect myself from is the one who always returns.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Get Ready – Redesigning a Blank Space – Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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Aging means change. And change is inevitable at every stage of life. The earlier we learn to “go with the flow,” the easier the adjustments become. Aging is fortuitous AND by design — it is the life experience unfolding.

We may begin to notice changes that require us to be flexible in accepting ourselves and others. Movement that once felt effortless may now call for extra rest and mindful recovery. Our minds might need more deliberate stimulation to maintain brain health and cognitive performance. Our bones and teeth often require more attentive care due to natural wear and tear, decreased bone density, and increased vulnerability to disease. Enamel thins, gums recede, and bone loss can occur, making teeth more sensitive and susceptible to decay. Age-related health conditions and medications can further complicate oral and skeletal health, making proactive care essential.

As we age, we may find ourselves single more often, spending much of our time “solo.” Rather than seeing this alone time as emptiness, we are invited to view it as a sacred space for re-discovery and exploration of self.

And yet, just like running against the wind, aging can feel like pushing through invisible resistance — a force that slows us down but also strengthens us if we meet it with grace. It invites us to dig deeper into our resilience, find new rhythms, and align with what matters most. Rather than resist the resistance, we can learn to lean into it — with wisdom, softness, a sense of humor, inner direction, and outer destinations that re-awaken our senses to the life experience.

As we age, relationships naturally evolve — especially with our adult children. We may no longer be needed in the same way, and that shift can feel both liberating and tender. There may be a grieving of what was, even as we honor what still is and what is yet to come. Likewise, our relationship with Spirit may deepen or be redefined, shaped by lived experience, questions, and quiet longings. Aging asks us to stay open — to new ways of connecting, listening, and loving, even when the form changes.

Loss often becomes a deeper part of life’s fabric as we age. We may grieve the death of a partner, a once-vibrant love, or the imagined future we never got to live. These griefs don’t disappear with time — they become sacred landmarks on the map of our becoming. And yet, even in the ache, we may find ourselves surprised by the stirrings of new affection, new companionship, or a new kind of love. The heart, seasoned but still tender, may quietly ask: Is it possible to open again? Aging doesn’t mean closing the chapter on love — it means learning to love with more presence, patience, and depth than ever before.

To age is to live in motion — not just outwardly, but within. It is the art of becoming softer and stronger all at once. Of meeting the changing terrain of body, mind, and heart not with fear, but with curiosity. It asks us to lean into the wind, to make peace with solitude, to laugh often, and to love bravely — even after loss. It calls us to stay rooted in our inner direction, while still seeking outer destinations that awaken wonder.

Aging is not the closing of a story. It is a deeper chapter — one rich with nuance, memory, humility, and growth. We are not fading; we are refining. And in that sacred refinement, we may just find a version of ourselves we’ve waited a lifetime to meet.

Mantra:

I embrace the gifts of my journey, honoring the wisdom and grace that come with each passing day.

Journaling Prompt:

Take a quiet moment to reflect on your journey through aging. Write about a specific experience, insight, or relationship that has grown richer or clearer with time. How has this shaped your understanding of yourself and your life? What feelings of gratitude arise as you honor this wisdom?

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

What’s Your Story? – Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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Our minds are always speaking at us…to us…chattering words and stories that are on a loop of repeat, and that which we have internalized. 

The stories you tell yourself shape how you feel, how you see others, how you witness your environment…and how you behave.

These inner narratives can either promote joy and wellness using dis-cernment…or they can promote dis-order, dis-ease, dis-appointment and dis-illusion…

These stories can also influence the choices that you make…it can make you question your worth…

Today, ask yourself…”Which of these narratives serve me? Are they fact or fiction?

Am I just used to telling this story so often that I have come to believe the narrative that was perhaps originally spoken by someone else? Which stories are keeping me stuck? Do I want to continue to tell this story? How does it make me feel as I share my story? What would a gentle rewrite sound like, look like, feel like?

When we understand that our inner dialogue is created by our instilled beliefs, judgments, memories, fears and even our hopes, and that they are not necessarily truth, we take back our power to be able to write a new narrative. 

When we recognize that these stories are subjective and interpreted by our experiences, our culture and even our emotions…we have the awareness of their origin, and have the opportunity to take the first step in our own transformation.

And…transformation does not suggest that we ignore the reality of our experiences. It suggests that we choose a wider lens where we observe ourselves in our experiences with self compassion and even curiosity as to the possibilities of the meaning of these experiences. 

When we use forward thinking and use discernment to internalize meaning…we provide ourselves with a narrative of a “growth mindset” versus a “fixed mindset” or, where “A fixed mindset can physically prevent you from learning from mistakes, while a growth mindset can empower you to perceive mistakes as learning”…where change is a choice.

Ask yourself, 

“What narrative do I want to tell myself moving forward? How does this new narrative support a growth mindset and my well-being?”

Mantra:
I am learning to use discernment for a more forward thinking, wider lens of my experiences that promotes self nurturing, self compassion and self empowerment.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

To My Fellow “Humans…”

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A letter to my fellow “humans…”

Your outrage is not only understandable…it’s justified. What you’re feeling is the deep pain and fear of watching a country you care about veer into dangerous, undemocratic territory, while those who swore an oath to protect its people and principles appear complicit, cowardly, or corrupt.

You are not alone in your devastation. Millions are witnessing what feels like the dismantling of democracy in real-time. A narcissistic leader consolidating power, stripping away rights, threatening essential programs like Medicaid, and stacking the system with loyalists is the exact playbook of authoritarian regimes.

And yes…the Senate, the branch of government meant to check executive overreach, has largely enabled it through silence, self-preservation, or ideological alignment. That betrayal feels like a punch to the gut. You’re watching a system built on supposed accountability abandon its most vulnerable citizens.

And…we are all deeply concerned about our children, grandchildren, and our aging population, our population who depend upon our government for peace, protection and prosperity.

The fear is real. The grief is real. And you’re allowed to feel all of it. Let yourself rage. Let yourself mourn. Let yourself scream.

And when you’re ready…remember this: we’ve been through dark times before. Civil rights leaders, Holocaust survivors, the LGBTQ+ movement, women’s suffrage—they all stared down evil and refused to be silent. 

People are not able to self soothe right now when their lives and liberty and all they depend on to live with dignity has been stripped. Saying, “Just breathe” is not a solution…and feels insulting. People, myself included, need to seek personal solutions that will ensure our loved ones and our own protection. We must have the right to personal agency. I am FUMING and feeling deep loss. I am grieving the loss of our democracy and the loss of personal agency…of freedom.

Your fury is sacred. It’s what keeps people from going numb. It’s what births movements. 

Here’s what is true…

  • This is a crisis of democracy.
  • The system is not broken…it is operating exactly as it was rigged to function when power becomes more important than people.
  • And people are not crazy for feeling terrified, betrayed, and enraged.

You are not overreacting. You are under-protected.

KNOW THIS…

What’s happening now…stripping away Medicaid, threatening bodily autonomy, attacking marginalized communities, deportation, attacking free speech, cozying up to authoritarianism…is strategic. When the chaos is constant, the goal is to wear you down. To make you believe it’s inevitable. To silence your scream by overwhelming it.

Your clarity…your refusal to be gaslit…is a radical act.

EXERCISE YOUR PERSONAL AGENCY!

Document. Your voice matters. Write, speak, post, protest. Authoritarians win when dissent is silenced. As I ALWAYS say, “Speak your truth…unapologetically and loudly.”

Local action. National politics feel unmovable, but local organizing changes lives. Find local candidates or grassroots groups protecting healthcare, women’s rights, or immigrant families. Show up!

Support mutual aid. If institutions fail, communities survive by taking care of each other. Look into ways to directly help families in need—through money, food, rides, or housing support. Even small acts are acts of rebellion.

Call your representatives—even if they don’t listen. Flood their inboxes. Let them know you’re watching. History records silence. Make yours heard.

Protect Your Nervous System (Not to Pacify—But to Persevere)

You’re not soothing for comfort. You’re stabilizing so you can keep showing up.

  • Rage-walk, run, go to the gym and find a punching bag to release aggression. Self soothe in any healthy way that grounds you and releases the anger.
  • Scream in your car, into a pillow, out in nature.
  • Write what you want to scream at the Senate and burn it. Do it often.
  • Talk to others who feel this too. Don’t isolate. Start a meetup group for others of like mindedness where you can constructively share, share a coffee, a walk, a smile of comfort.

Your nervous system isn’t weak for panicking…it’s wise. It knows something terrible is happening. The goal is to tend to it, not to silence it.

And as in so many events in my 67 years, I once again ask, “Where the hell was God when the world was/is burning?

And I know I am not alone in screaming this into the void. People have been asking this for centuries—from the ashes of Auschwitz, from the slave ships, from mass graves, from school shootings, from sickbeds and war zones and every place where evil has walked free while the innocent begged for mercy.

What we are confronting is not just grief or anger—it’s betrayal. A kind of soul-level betrayal that cuts deeper than anything else: “I believed there was something sacred, protective, maybe even loving…and it didn’t show up when it mattered most.”

This is a shattering thing to face.

So if your conclusion right now is: “There is no God. We are on our own.” — I hear you. That may be your truth in this moment, and it’s earned through heartbreak, not cynicism.

I say this:

If there is a God…maybe it’s not some all-controlling sky-father who intervenes like a puppet master. Maybe it’s not the version that we were taught in churches or books or prayers.

Maybe God is the spark that refuses to die inside you, even when you’re sobbing and hopeless and ready to give up.
Maybe God is the grit in your voice when you say, “This isn’t right, and how can I help?”
Maybe God is in you, not above you…A “collective consciousness…”

I know that right now…in all my fury and grief…I am more honest, more righteous, more awake than all the false prophets and smiling politicians put together. 

And if a God exists, I imagine they’re weeping and screaming right alongside me/us, not floating above the pain like it’s someone else’s problem.

I haven’t any answers. I will not offer a spiritual spin because I am at a loss. But I am here as a witness to all of our pain. 

We must stand together in our pain and not allow the chaos to confuse us…

We must be…

A companion and solution seeker in the devastation.

Love,

Wendy

Soul Notes

After the Storm – Love, Wendy

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I’ve lived through storms that could have swallowed me.
I’ve known love that vanished without warning,
and words that were louder than actions.

I carry a story shaped by fire,
and still—I choose to speak gently, to hope bravely,
to open my heart with discernment, not fear.

If someone is drawn to my light
but disappears when it flickers with truth—
that’s not my failure.
That’s their unfamiliarity with real strength…
and a reflection of their lack of readiness.

One’s silence is not a reflection of my worth, my story, or my strength. My past is not a liability—it’s a testament to my power. Anyone who doesn’t see the resilience, courage, and transformation in my story is simply not ready for a woman who’s done the hard work to rise.

Sometimes people are moved by intensity in the moment, but when it comes time to actually step into something real—with complexity, depth, and vulnerability—they retreat. Not because you were too open, but because they weren’t ready for the kind of truth and intimacy that requires.

I will continue to live out loud…not just to live in my truth…
but to hold the space for others who need an example of “to thine own self be true.”

This isn’t just about me.
It’s about the sacred ripple of authenticity…
how one voice saying “this is who I am”
gives permission for another to whisper, “me too.”

Ask yourself,
“Where are you holding back in speaking your truth for fear of being ghosted? What would you tell a dear friend in this same situation if they wanted to hide their scars that revealed their own fight to live? Whose silence might your truth help to break?”

To be an advocate for others…we must always share our own story to stand in our truth.
This is the space where we stand in our power.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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S.P.E.A.R. STOP PAUSE EMOTE ALLOW REST – LOVE, WENDY

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We all have feelings and emotions. Some days they may stop us in our steps and say, “Hello, I need to be acknowledged!” Sometimes this may be a delayed trauma response, or it may be a culmination of chronic stressors where we feel overwhelmed.

Give your feelings a voice. Honor your emotions.

“STOP. PAUSE. EMOTE. ALLOW. REST. – S.P.E.A.R.“

S.P.E.A.R. and S.W.I.M. Into Wellness! (You can read about this in my book, Write Pray Recover:A Journey To Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care https://a.co/d/a8lzF4O

When you feel triggered, or you feel your symptoms escalating…S.P.E.A.R.

This is a non-linear recovery plan that is specific to your health and wellness goals.

STOP where you are.

PAUSE TO BE PRESENT. PATIENTLY PROCESS. Take one slow deep breath through your nose, and exhale slowly through your mouth.

Repeat three times. Your breath is your most accessible tool to intervene with your physiology in real time. Focus on your breath to align with the present moment.

EMOTE safely anything that you are feeling. You are allowed to feel whatever you feel!

Try the Alternate Nostril Breathing below to self soothe as you release your feelings/emotions.

Allow yourself to feel, and take whatever time you need. Practice extra self care.

ACCEPT your emotions and feelings. Take as long as you need to practice acceptance and validate what you are feeling in a safe space without self judgement. Acceptance promotes peace.

REST and RE-ALIGN, and allow yourself time to process. Hydrate!

Write about it! Take your time with this step. Then, RE-FRAME using a healthy mindset and being open to new perspectives to re-frame the experience as you move forward. Ask yourself, “In moving forward, how can I use my self awareness of this trigger/ stressor in conjunction with my self regulation skills in order to navigate constructively? (Daily self care to stay ahead of the stressor? Take a “time out?” Etc.)

For those who mean well by telling you to “Focus on your blessings! Be positive,” give yourself permission and power to realize when others do not know how to support us appropriately, and do not have the skill, or the experience and words that we may need at the time, and know that they mean well. And, some may be uncomfortable observing as we experience emotions and feelings because it may force them to go within where they may be suppressing their own feelings and emotions that also need validation.

We ALL have mental health.

When we are feeling mentally unwell, we do not need to “focus on our blessings and all the positives in our lives.“ What we need is a safe space, and the time, however long that is for us, to experience the experience.

S.P.E.A.R. yourself into the experience. Ask for support if you feel you need support. This begins the healing process.

Whatever healthy practices you need to heal, do it…and take your time.”

To read more about my S.P.E.A.R. and S.W.I.M. Into Wellness component of my “Integrative Approach to Wellness” program, read my book, Write Pray Recover:A Journey To Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care. https://a.co/d/a8lzF4O

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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Reset with your breath – Love, Wendy

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Regulate your nervous system.

Stay in control of your personal agency, naturally. Keep your mind sharply on your breath which is the most challenging part of using deliberate breathing.

Deliberate breathing brings the body and mind into a state of calm and focus.

Reset…

Take in two sharp inhales. Exhale long and slowly.

When you find yourself triggered, or your emotions are causing you physical symptoms of anxiety, use your breath.

It is your most accessible tool to intervene with your physiology in real time.

When you make mindful breathing/deliberate breathing a regular practice which becomes part of your lifestyle, it is easier to implement, and to be successful during times of high stress and anxiety.

Go to a quiet place and keep your mind on your breath. 
Using substances are only a temporary fix. We always have our breath and it is our most accessible tool to intervene with our nervous system in real time.

I have 13 years of sobriety now and breathing is one of my go to’s when I feel panic or anxiety. 

I had to use this on Friday night and even though I’ve practiced mindful breathing for over a decade, it took me almost an hour to re-center and recover. And afterwards, your body can feel exhausted. This is normal as you guide your brain to center.

It takes a lot of mental strength to stay focused on your breath and not the symptoms of the anxiety episode that you are experiencing. This is why it is so vital to make this a daily practice. 

Your brain then recognizes immediately the pattern of focus and calm. It strengthens the neural pathways over time that support relaxation and focus. It creates an automatic response to stress that promotes emotional regulation and resilience!


To work with me one on one in my coaching program, call 845–263–4094.

Love, Wendy