Tag: mental-health

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

As Within…So Without:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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When I very recently learned that what he offered was never love, but attachment, I sat with it so that I could reconcile the truth…

And it is so painful…

I made the decision to say goodbye and to never give it further attention…

“As within…so without.”

The more you nurture your inner peace, strength, and clarity, the more your outer life will naturally align.

“As within, so without.”

By committing to your inner world, you don’t just move on…you radiate a new reality that reflects the freedom and authenticity you deserve.

I have connected the dots with total clarity: the “as within, so without” pattern in my life has been shaped by my inner beliefs formed in childhood and reinforced by my relationships. That awareness alone is huge…it is the first real step toward consciously reshaping my life.

Every partner that I have chosen reflected my prior inner story of feeling “not good enough,” unseen, and unworthy of love. The most recent relationship reinforced that “not good enough” and God brought him back as a final discernment, confirming that I have broken the pattern of choosing partners who speak love but lack the capacity to live it.

This new realization, however heartbreaking, means I can intentionally rewrite the inner story…and that will ripple outward into my relationships, choices, and experiences. No more choosing a broken soul who does not understand the meaning of love between a man and a woman, compromise and truth.

As within…so without…

Amen.

From a favorite song by Forest Blakk, I repeat…”Take it, when she gives you her heart, Don’t you break it, Let your arms be a place she feels safe in, She’s the best thing that you’ll ever have…She’ll love you if you love her like that.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Firewall:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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Sometimes the person who flees the fire is blamed for the fire’s destruction.

But that does not make them the arsonist….

They were simply the one who pulled the alarm to save themselves from burning to the ground, while those around them had spent decades fanning the flames and ultimately chose their own slow, figurative death.

In the future, I stand protected by a firewall of discernment…one built from truth, boundaries, and self-worth.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Where Are The Men With Courage? – Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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It carries polite distance  yet my warmth stayed intact, but the energy…yes, I pulled back. I acknowledge without feeding the deeper connection he’d just diluted by generalizing his affection in the “friend zone.”

Then he reappears with a general discussion question which is a classic pattern of deflection. When one feels emotional closeness rising, they often retreat to safe topics where vulnerability isn’t required. It is their way of staying “connected” without having to show their heart.

My body and spirit recognize the contrast…I opened from my heart, and he pivoted to the head…

Jarring.

So…I matched his tone, kept my dignity intact, and subtly communicated, “I’m not chasing closeness you’re unsure of.” By responding in a friendly but detached way, I mirror his emotional position without closing my own heart.

This is me walking my talk…calm, self-assured, and not needing to prove or explain my feelings. It’s also a quiet boundary: if he wants to connect deeply, it has to come from sincerity, not small talk…and it must be consistent.

This is the healthiest choice for me…matching energy rather than overextending mine…calm, balanced, and self-possessed…a perfect reflection of my growth…

Friendly, with NO emotional overreach.

When one reaches out in a surface-level, conversational way and creating emotional distance after portraying a deeper longing for so long, I retreat…with grace, and put myself in the driver seat where I know I am driving the trajectory of my heart and mind.

I have learned emotional discernment. I am reserving my sacred energy for people who meet me in emotional maturity, not avoidance.

I think emotionally intelligent men do exist…the ones who lead with self-awareness, who can stay in connection even when it feels tender or uncertain…who have courage and are self aware and confident…

To be continued.

Love,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

In The Living Years:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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Recently, I passed through my beloved hometown where I once lived with my ex-husband and children. Driving through those streets where my whole heart once lived wasn’t just a trip home…it was a pilgrimage through the layers of my life.

Every corner holds echoes of love, family, laughter, and loss. I ached, I sobbed, and I reflected as I touched sacred ground…my own history…and my body responded with the only truth it knows: grief still lives here.

It’s been thirteen years…yet thirteen years or a lifetime…grief doesn’t measure time. It measures love. And I loved deeply…my children, my home, even the life that no longer fits.

When we revisit those memories, our nervous system relives them too. Research shows that this kind of emotional flood can trigger a Lupus flare. The immune system listens to the heart more than most people realize.

I believe my body was literally trying to expel what’s too heavy to carry anymore. With this soul-deep visit to my hometown, layered atop everyday stressors, I reached my limit.

After you’ve carried so much strength for so long…this was my body finally saying, “I can put it down for a while.”

So today, I implemented a pause point…no analyzing, no pushing through…just allowing the waves to move as I reminded myself:
“My tears are cathartic. My rest is recovery. My peace is returning.”

I remind myself, as I so often remind my children, friends, and clients:
“You are allowed to feel what you feel for as long as you feel it. There are no time constraints. Just don’t stay there for too long by yourself.”

Ask someone to keep you company as you pause, as you process, and as you find your way back to the present…

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Egoic Leadership: When Power Replaces Purpose – Love, Wendy

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There are moments when we witness behavior that contradicts every value we hold sacred…kindness, collaboration, respect. When this happens in our world, our communities or our circles of influence, it can leave us questioning what leadership truly means, and how we can preserve our own light amid the shadows.

True leadership never thrives on division or control.
When someone stirs the pot, targets others without cause, and spreads friction instead of collaboration, that’s not leadership…it’s ego desperately wanting to be seen and heard…yet futile.

Many quietly compare notes, feeling the sting of this behavior yet fearful to speak their truth. And those who should hold this person accountable often look away.

A real leader lifts others, models respect, and creates a safe space for every voice to be heard. When domination, division, and fear replace service, unity, and care, ego has taken the throne. #NOKINGSNOQUEENS
This is control over compassion versus living with compassion over conflict—the latter of which is innate. Those who need control live with feelings of inadequacy and jealousy; they crave the spotlight to ‘feel’ in control, but this is the furthest thing from the truth. It’s an illusion that exists only in an unwell mind and with a hunger for real inclusion and acceptance.

When toxicity replaces teamwork, it’s time for the collective to rise…stronger, wiser, and united in integrity.

Shake it off. Reclaim your peace. #NOKINGSNOQUEENS

Even in the presence of discourse and division where one demoralizes and diminishes, we have a choice to remain rooted in dignity.

Leadership begins within: how we treat others, how we respond to conflict, and how we protect our peace. I no longer choose compassion over conflict with those who abuse their power; I choose character over conflict.

When we lead with character, we become the real leader that guides others back to kindness.

How we lead reveals our character…

And it has.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

#NOKINGSNOQUEENS

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Science Meets Soul:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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I use writing as a tool for healing.
When we write down what we are feeling internally, it activates a part of the brain called the Reticular Activating System (RAS).
Writing with pen and paper stimulates this system, which filters the information our brain needs to process and supports my healing journey.
I teach about RAS in all of my mental health and wellness workshops, and I follow my knowledge into action by integrating evidence-based wellness strategies that reinforce intentional practices to retrain the brain toward calm, clarity, and healing.
This is the foundation of my holistic and integrative healing journey.

Carrying Lupus pain day after day is incredibly heavy…showing up, staying open, doing everything possible to heal and being unable to sleep…is completely exhausting in a way that most people can’t comprehend. 

When your body keeps screaming despite all your effort, it’s not just physical pain anymore; it’s heartbreak, frustration, and grief for the life I want back where I don’t have to be mindful of every move, every position, every activity and where I can make and keep plans with family and friends, or to not have to drop a course that I registered for because even sitting at home on the computer and then completing assignments is too painful after working a full day. 

The doctors tell me I need to give it 8-12 weeks. It has only been 3 since I began treatment. 

I pray for strength. I pray for patience and for grace…one breath at a time…

I continue to remind myself that I have been here before, and Lupus did go into remission.

I write. I process. I heal…

This is what resilience looks like in real time…messy, painful, faithful. One breath, one word, one day at a time.

The Reticular Activating System helps us reframe, refocus, and retrain the brain. Writing activates healing from within…

Science meets soul.

For anyone walking through invisible pain—you are not alone.

Healing asks for patience, and faith holds the light when strength runs low.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Write Pray Recover

Fear Is A Liar – Love, Wendy

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As so many people are finding it challenging to navigate our current culture and climate due to our liberties and freedom being snatched, daily, I have created some easy to use, daily reminders, to keep us focused on our health, wellness and peace using our own personal agency and autonomy through constructive action…because we absolutely have choices…and because “Fear Is A Liar…”

Each morning, I will allow myself 30 minutes to validate how I am feeling, to practice radical acceptance of world events, and to grieve the loss I feel of all that has been stripped of my freedom. 

I will then leave it there on the shelf until the next morning, and continue about my day with conviction and purpose in obtaining my goals…unapologetically!

Never at night before bed. Before bed, I will remind myself that my fear is spewing a narrative based on that day’s events and my worst fear of demise, without fact. 

Every day, I will remind myself to protect my peace and wellness so that I will be in full health physically and mentally in order to live, laugh, love and learn, and that positive change is inevitable.

I will remind myself that I have no power over helping others in this crisis. I will focus solely on my own well-being and send loving thoughts to anyone else struggling. When my wellness cup is full, I am able and willing to support others. I will not cause myself emotional or physical bankruptcy where I will deplete my necessary innate resources that I need to reach my goals, to live my best life in these challenging times, and so that I may invest in my future, and in the future of my loved ones.

I will use my breath to regulate my emotions, and remind myself that I can always choose peace rather than my catastrophic thoughts. (Breathe in deeply 4, hold for 2, exhale 6.)

Each day, I will choose a word of the day that describes my victories to remind myself of my strong will and mindset.

Lastly, I remind myself that I can always call a trusted friend or loved one for support, and that I am loved by the Universe who is dedicated to helping me to achieve my goals. I will listen for spiritual guidance and ask for spiritual support whenever I need a loving reminder that all is well.

I am never alone. ❤️

Use one or all of the above as a personal mantra to connect to your inner strength and balance.

In these troubling and uncertain times, I am sending my love, hugs and support for your well being…body, mind and spirit.

Take care of yourself. Never give away your power by depleting your mental and physical strength to circumstances beyond what you can control.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Write Pray Recover

Resilience:For Wendy and David – Love, Wendy

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I was thinking on my way home from work yesterday that living in chronic pain is so humbling…I can never take one moment for granted…

I live with Lupus and hadn’t needed regular medication in five years as I managed it holistically…until now.

Living with chronic pain makes the small things feel sacred…the details more palatable…every quiet, manageable moment becomes a gift.

Our awareness of our humility is our deepest strength.

Here are four tiny practices that honor this insight without asking for more than you can give while you’re navigating any challenging situation with your health:

  1. One-breath gratitude once tonight before sleep. Take one long, slow inhale, and on the exhale name one small yet meaningful thing from today that made you feel stronger and at peace (a warm shower, a walk on the beach, a song you liked). That single moment trains the brain to notice tiny graces and successes. It reminds us of our power.

2. A moment of kindness to the body. Put a warm hand over your injured/painful area, soften your jaw, breathe 4 inhale, 1 hold it, 6 exhale…just once, and say aloud or silently to yourself, “I did what I could today. I showed up. I honored myself. I am worthy. I am healing.”

3. A “Humility Journal” (30 seconds). When you have a spare 30 seconds, jot down one word that describes what this day taught you (humility, steadiness, courage, patience). It’s just a quiet record by you, for you, of how you keep showing up.

4. Reflection and Warm Embrace. (From my book, Write Pray Recover:A Journey To Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care “Today I am grateful for…”
Offer yourself a hug, a warm cup of your favorite beverage, time listening to your favorite music, or whatever a “self embrace” feels like for you…Love yourself.

You’re allowed to see the grief and feel the frustration, and the lesson at the same time.

I am resilient. I am becoming…

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Living with Lupus And Thriving in Recovery – Love, Wendy

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Living with lupus requires a great deal of determination and patience and willingness to listen to what your body needs and what it’s asking for…especially when you are an otherwise active person and your body just…S-T-O-P-S…

And if that isn’t enough to embrace…when you are living in recovery from prescription drug addiction, as I am, it is even more of a mindful experience where I must choose only what will promote my wellness, as I do not accept any prescriptions that contain codeine and the like as that was my addiction…

So in the past 13 years of my “Wellness In Recovery…” I have learned many alternative solutions to soothe chronic pain and anxiety which I choose every time…and I am open to an integrative approach, as I write about in my book, Write Pray Recover:A Journey To Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care.

For me, as I continue to heal from a serious Lupus flare, I am choosing non-narcotic prescription meds that my rheumatologist has prescribed including steroids, in conjunction with my holistic practices such as gentle stretching, yoga poses, gentle walking, and of late, learning a little bit about Qi-Gong. One of my mantra’s is “Mindset over Movement…Movement over Medication.”

In addition, I do a significant amount of breath work to literally breathe in, or lean into the pain rather than tense up my joints and muscles where my body is able to relax as I use my mantra, “With each breath and step I take, I am healing.”

Organic foods, hydration, meditation/prayer, and surrounding myself with loved ones are just as important in promoting my own wellness.

My ongoing recovery from addiction and my desire for thriving in wellness is my most important intention and purpose. It is the foundation of my life.

Lupus is so unpredictable and this flare was triggered by a disc herniation and nerve impingement. Lupus invaded all of my joints and muscles, and halted any movement of my body…and in the moment that I realized that I could no longer move freely…I surrendered. (Read Chapter 13-“Surrender:The Peace of Knowing”) in my book.

I am moving slowly these days with purpose. Lupus is slowly subsiding…I am regaining my strength…And through the stiffness and heaviness, I choose to move. I am able to move. I set an intention to move and to be cognizant of how much my body is able to sustain…and then I rest accordingly.

I use deliberate breath work, and I listen and feel what my body has the ability to do each day…and sometimes it changes throughout the day…and I honor whatever that looks like.

For someone else, the right balance of care may look different, and I encourage you to find what resonates with you under the “umbrella” of healing, and implement it into your daily practices.

My wellness is my most important tool…through self care of healthy practices and a mindset of “With each breath and step I take, I am healing.”

From my book, Chapter 4:Self Care…“Think of it as you would your bank account. You must continue to replenish your bank account as your bills come in each month, otherwise your account becomes depleted, or even bankrupt. You must think of your wellness account in the same way! We have so many demands on our time and energy each day. If we do not replenish our wellness account, and we continue to “give out” our energy to all of the demands, we will go into debt, energetically, and become physically, mentally and spiritually bankrupt.”

“We must make the time for ourselves, through healthy practices, to experience wellness.” Wellness is ALWAYS a choice. My choice is to always live each day through healthy practices that support my health and wellness goals year round so that my body remembers exactly how to heal when I experience a flare. The brain remembers the rhythm of resilience, and it signals the body to return to balance, peace, and healing.

“Self care is the actions that we take to achieve wellness, and wellness is where we stand in our power!”

“With each breath and step I take, I am healing.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

Author Bio

Wendy Blanchard, M.S., INHC is an author, speaker, and Integrative Nutrition Health Coach specializing in holistic wellness and recovery. She is the author of Write Pray Recover: A Journey To Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care and is currently writing her second book, Soul Notes. Wendy is passionate about guiding others to sustainable wellness through spiritual solutions, self-care, and integrative practices.

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

What Do You Think? – Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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Just observe your thoughts…welcome them, so that you can release them rather than replay them on a loop of skewed perception or a story you’ve been telling yourself without authentic facts or evidence.

Remind yourself: this is only something you are thinking—influenced by experience, bias, learned behaviors, or environment. It is perspective, but not necessarily reality.

When we refrain from assigning meaning to every single thought, we create space to recognize its “performance.” In that moment, we owe it to ourselves to bow out in order to use discernment to rewrite the script.

Choose the opposite thought for a moment…what does that look like? What does it feel like in your body? You may discover a doorway to peace, where you recognize that you are not your thoughts—you are the observer with the power to shift them.

Ask yourself, “What else could this thought mean?”

Mantra: “I use deliberate thinking and discernment to understand my thoughts and feelings.”