Tag: love

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Perspective, Reality and Truth:A Hammer to the Heart – Love, Wendy

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Reality whispered to Perspective,
“Use discernment… It is not what you think you see.”

Perspective did not take it to heart.

Reality tapped Perspective on the shoulder and said,
“Please, look again.”

Perspective did not heed the warning. He continued to view “it” through his own limited frame of reference…
“There is goodness in everyone…”
— but without boundaries.

Some time later, Reality took a hammer to the heart of Perspective with a truth that could no longer be denied.

Perspective learned that Truth is always within our sight if we are willing to see it —
and that Reality always stands behind Truth…
walking alongside Perspective, even if quietly, until we are ready.

Universal lesson:

Truth does not change to match Perspective.

Perspective must grow and be open minded to meet Truth…

and Reality will always reveal what we refuse to see.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

The End of the Innocence:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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It can never go back to “the way it used to be” after this “thing” happened.

You cannot unscramble an egg…
unsee the truth…
unring a bell…

Once trust is broken or friendship is betrayed,
there is an involuntary pivot.
A permanent shift in direction.

What was once a line in the sand
is now a fault line beneath the surface —
a fracture running deep within the soul.

That’s the thing about fault lines…
You don’t have to see them for them to re-shape the terrain…

You don’t have to see them to feel their shift.

“Knowing” shadows forgiveness.
It walks beside it.
It does not disappear simply because grace is extended.

It is not bitterness…
it is an awakening.

“The End of the Innocence.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Mind Breath:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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We get to be selective about what enters our nervous system.

Birdsong literally promotes parasympathetic activation.
Drama elevates cortisol, triggering sympathetic response…
Rest and digest vs. fight or flight.

Spiritual truth meets biology.

The Northern Cardinal is a symbol of vitality, presence, and reassurance.
Not noise.
Not chaos.
Presence.

I did not withdraw from people.
I refined my frequency.

Beyond symbolism…here is the science-meets-spirit piece:

When you are still enough to notice beauty, your nervous system is already softening.
When a bright red bird lands in your line of sight (as it did for me yesterday), your brain releases dopamine.
When you interpret it as meaningful, your body releases oxytocin.

This is embodied spirituality.

I was not chasing a sign.
I was resting…and it arrived.

After all my body has been carrying of late — lupus, flares, exhaustion — moments like this are soft, regulating medicine.

Grace simply landed.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Love Is Healing:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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I am a teacher… and many days, I am the student…


My precious second grade student said to me after reading a story about a pet that makes a little boy feel better after he is injured,
“Love is healing.”
Out of the mouths of babes…


Some days teach you humility.
Some days teach you to love deeper.
And some days… you learn painful truths.


The people you expect to show up — the ones you’ve walked beside for years, laughed with, cried with, and supported in their time of need — can break your heart with their silence….Not unkind words. Just absence. Looking away when you are clearly struggling. Saying nothing when kindness would cost so little…


And then, unexpectedly, others step forward — in the name of humanity, unity, and growing friendship. People you never would have predicted. They pause. They notice. They help. They ask what you need. They remind you that compassion still exists, even in spaces where it sometimes feels scarce.


One who stepped up to offer kindness said,
“Kindness doesn’t cost a thing.”

Amen…

Every single step and movement is strategic when living with Lupus.
It is hard on my body… and on my heart.

The heart recognizes what is sincere.
It also recognizes what is performative.

Yes, in times of a flare it is limiting… but the love and support from my children, friends, and some of my colleagues teach me that even in pain, love still heals.
Infinitely…

And I’m holding onto this: sometimes disappointment clarifies. Sometimes grace arrives from the most surprising directions.


The lesson has come full circle…


Words without action are empty.
Presence reveals what is real.
Running around saying the “right” things without action?
Performative…


Take a bow.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

“Sometimes…Love Just Ain’t Enough – Love, Wendy

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Two painful truths have become clear to me lately: you really can’t go home again… and sometimes love just isn’t enough.

After deciding—again, and this time with my whole body—to let him go and begin releasing him from my heart, something quietly jarring happened. All day I had been receiving signs—little whispers from Spirit—that I would “hear from him.” And in a way, I did…I strongly felt his presence in my space…and in my heart.

The love I feel for this man is deep, profound, and constant. It hasn’t faded with time, distance, or disappointment. I do believe his love for me is real too. That has never been the question. The truth I am finally accepting is harder and cleaner than that: love alone cannot heal fear, undo patterns, or make two people safe together when the ground beneath them is unstable.

As the song says, “sometimes love just ain’t enough.“

Letting go doesn’t mean my feelings change. They don’t. And maybe they never will.

What has changed is my willingness to sacrifice my health, my peace, and my wholeness in the name of love. I am learning that honoring love does not always mean staying. Sometimes it means releasing—with grief, with tenderness, and with fierce self-respect.

You really can’t go home again.
And sometimes, heartbreakingly, “love just ain’t enough.”

Love,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Showing Up and Growing Up – Love, Wendy

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I have a son. I am not available to raise another adult who has not finished growing up.

Many men are deeply uncomfortable when they are not desired or made the center of a woman’s universe.

Instead of curiosity or self-reflection, they resort to self righteousness…dismissal, minimization, or narrative control. I have witnessed this pattern repeatedly, across dozens of interactions.

Emotional immaturity.

I would rather live alone, never lonely or offering “child care” to a “grown man” than participate in a dynamic where emotional underdevelopment is normalized and accountability is optional.

This is not an isolated experience—it is cultural.

Research and lived experience consistently show that many men are not socialized to develop emotional intelligence. Vulnerability is discouraged. Emotional fluency is replaced with defensiveness. Discomfort is avoided rather than examined. When a woman names a boundary or expresses a lack of connection, the response is too often dismissal designed to protect fragile self-worth rather than mutual respect.

Emotionally mature women are increasingly choosing solitude not because we fear intimacy, but because we understand it. We have done the inner work. We know what emotional presence feels like. We recognize when connection requires us to shrink, explain, or absorb someone else’s unexamined ego.

HELL NO…

When companionship comes at the cost of self-abandonment, solitude becomes the healthier, more desired choice.

Being alone through discernment is the ultimate self care.
It is self-respect.
It is a refusal to mother a man who is unwilling to become an adult.

Many of us lived through literal brokenness, abuse, neglect, financial shortfall, emotional bankruptcy and physical depletion due to a connection to one who drained our energy…body, mind and spirit…

And today, we live in presence, self-preservation, and the joy we cultivate as emotionally savvy souls, with a full plate of delights to share…

if and when aligned.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Be A Champion – Love, Wendy

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I observe others who are living in their riches and skewed perception where they have never faced adversity or serious challenges that have affected their peace and wellbeing.

If you’re not in the “ring” getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your “don’t worry about a thing, everything‘s going to be all right” ignorant response…

Many times things do not turn out all right…

TKO…

People suffer.

People grieve.

People spend their entire lives striving for peace and wellness and praying for relief that never comes.

And when you’ve never faced the kind of challenges that alter your nervous system, your body, or your sense of safety, your optimism can become a form of “dismissal.” Pretending it isn’t there and slapping platitudes over wounds that are still open is your own inability to process the reality of the depth of human suffering.

So…do not minimize the experiences of those of us in the “ring” fighting for justice and peace while you’re sitting in the cheap seats and passing judgment.

As Brené Brown said “If you’re not in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback.“

Be a champion.

Stand in the corner as one recovers their resilience.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

A Non-Fiction Narrative:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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In order to create new healthy patterns, you have to unlearn unhealthy patterns and behaviors…

Those patterns that you observed and that which caused the dismantling of the relationship are all still there…they are still toxic…they are masking them behind the apologies and tears…

completely fictitious…

but trust me…

nothing changes if nothing changes…

Patterns are strong predictors of true presence…or lack thereof…

I may not say a word…but believe me…

I see everything…

on the cover, and inside between the lines.

It is the same old story.

I have read it before…

the plot twists, the illusion of change…

I know how this ends.

I have closed the book on this familiar fairy tale, and have chosen a beautiful piece of a non fiction narrative…realistic, riveting, ready to meet us where we are, and rooted in truth…

where love is the happily ever after I have prayed about.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

From Where I Stand – Love, Wendy

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Childhood reflections:

“Little girls and little boys 

who grow up in a world of noise 

rather than experiencing the joys 

of a loving family

may find their heart and soul destroyed…

They have a heart that begins to roam

For a place that they may call their home

But find that they are all alone

And live an empty life unknown

to the experience of love.”

Wendy Blanchard, MS, INHC

EMPATHY

Instead of judging one who is exhibiting poor behavior and practicing unhealthy habits, ask yourself, “I wonder what it was/is like for them?”

This is known as a trauma informed approach.

There is always a reason why one displays anger, anxiety, depression, addiction, etc.

Showing empathy may disarm one who is experiencing symptoms of repressed emotions, and may encourage them to share and release as a first step to healing.

Empathy is putting yourself in the mindset and circumstances of another that you may not have experienced in your own life.

In my lived and field experience, I have observed others, and have experienced myself that when another loving human offers an opportunity for me to “unpack” or just sits with me as an active listener with EMPATHY as their gift, we DO begin to de-escalate and to consider taking the following steps to healing.

We should never stand in judgement of that which we have NOT experienced ourselves. Be kind. Be compassionate. Offer a hand, a shoulder and an ear. YOU can be the conduit to one connecting to their most inner emotions that catapults them into healing and recovery.

Happy Saturday. Stay warm, safe and KIND. Love and empathy is the antidote…

Love and blessings, Wendy