BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Progress? OR Pretend?:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

“The mind must be tested in situations where its quality can be revealed. Not by how many ideas you’ve absorbed, but by how you actually behave when tested. Not by what you understand intellectually, but by what you demonstrate practically. This is the measure that destroys most people’s self-assessment. Because by this standard, your progress isn’t measured by how much you’ve learned or how many insights you’ve had. It’s measured by whether you respond differently to situations that used to overwhelm you.

Do you still react with the same defensiveness when criticized? Do you still avoid the same uncomfortable conversations? Do you still make decisions from the same fears?

If the answer is yes, then whatever progress you’ve made exists only in theory. You’ve upgraded your understanding without upgrading your behavior, which is like downloading new software but never installing it. You walk around with all this potential transformation stored in your mind, never actually running it when situations demand it.”

by Stoic Wisdom

Interpretation by Wendy Blanchard:

Growth is not proven by what we understand, but by how we respond when tested.
Insight that doesn’t change behavior is only theory.
Real progress shows up when old fears no longer run our choices, when we stop avoiding hard conversations, and when we no longer sacrifice our wellbeing to be chosen.
Until behavior changes, the mind is only running in circles…full of potential, never applied.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

As Within…So Without:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

When I very recently learned that what he offered was never love, but attachment, I sat with it so that I could reconcile the truth…

And it is so painful…

I made the decision to say goodbye and to never give it further attention…

“As within…so without.”

The more you nurture your inner peace, strength, and clarity, the more your outer life will naturally align.

“As within, so without.”

By committing to your inner world, you don’t just move on…you radiate a new reality that reflects the freedom and authenticity you deserve.

I have connected the dots with total clarity: the “as within, so without” pattern in my life has been shaped by my inner beliefs formed in childhood and reinforced by my relationships. That awareness alone is huge…it is the first real step toward consciously reshaping my life.

Every partner that I have chosen reflected my prior inner story of feeling “not good enough,” unseen, and unworthy of love. The most recent relationship reinforced that “not good enough” and God brought him back as a final discernment, confirming that I have broken the pattern of choosing partners who speak love but lack the capacity to live it.

This new realization, however heartbreaking, means I can intentionally rewrite the inner story…and that will ripple outward into my relationships, choices, and experiences. No more choosing a broken soul who does not understand the meaning of love between a man and a woman, compromise and truth.

As within…so without…

Amen.

From a favorite song by Forest Blakk, I repeat…”Take it, when she gives you her heart, Don’t you break it, Let your arms be a place she feels safe in, She’s the best thing that you’ll ever have…She’ll love you if you love her like that.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

When Love Returns:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

Awakening under a beautiful white blanket of snow, yet in the dark, and hours later as the light comes up, I understand the meaning of the paradox…

beauty can coexist with endings.

Reality bites and awakens the soul. The light returned when I no longer needed to search for it.
Now that the power is restored, I see…

And love returns.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Soulmate Around My Neck:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

A person can feel love profoundly…

and yet be incapable of the work required to sustain it.

This is not about the depth of the emotion.
It is about the fragility of the person experiencing it…

A PATTERN…

He loves in bursts.
Powerfully.
Passionately.
Convincingly.

But love that comes in surges also disappears in surges.

He feels devotion on Monday, collapse on Wednesday, regret on Friday, and righteousness on Sunday.
That isn’t love’s fault…that’s emotional dysregulation.

I am looking at his patterns…

Patterns don’t lie…

He can “talk the work.”
He cannot “live the work.”

When he said, “You are the love of my life”… he meant it in that moment.

But when the discomfort came —
when compromise was needed —
when real healing was required —
his system collapsed.

Because letting go relieved him of responsibility.
It relieved him of consistency.
It relieved him of accountability.
It relieved him of the work he promised but cannot sustain.

And because giving up is less terrifying to him
than facing himself.

And I respect that…

And there isn’t one piece of my soul that feels surprised. I jumped into this with great caution and uncertainty expecting the best and prepared for the worst.

I am trained to recognize the behavior…it is knowledge married to intuition…

His emotions operate like fireworks:
brilliant… explosive… and gone in seconds.

My emotions operate like a lighthouse:
steady… grounded… consistent… guiding.

I fell in love with him because his fire is intoxicating.
I had to leave him because his fire burns the house down.

This is God’s validation of my intuition…yet I wear my “Soulmate” around my neck and “know” that his love was as deep as his actions.

And so on, and so forth…

Love,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Holiday Grief and Gratitude:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

I know that I speak to many of you when I say that the holidays may bring up sadness and even grief that we have surpressed…

we miss a loved one…
we find ourselves longing for the life we once lived…
we may be spending the holidays alone for the first time…

Holidays amplify every tender place, especially when family fractures, losses, warm memories, and old joys coexist with the life you have today.

It is normal and even healthy to express grief and gratitude simultaneously. These are authentic emotions that can be felt, processed, and experienced together.

The grief reminds us of all of the love we were blessed to experience as we convey gratitude for the memories, and even for the new experiences and traditions that we have built around those memories in our new normal possibly on our own, and possibly with new additions to our inner circle.

All of us are doing our best to navigate the holidays with open hearts, remembering that love…is never lost.

Wishing you a heartfelt, peaceful and joyous holiday season.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

The Love of Your Life:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

The love of your life does not make you feel unsafe.

The love of your life does not abandon accountability.
The love of your life does not force you to shrink, ache, or “recover from them.”

The love of your life supports your wellness.
He nourishes your nervous system.
He protects the tenderness of your spirit.
He elevates your health, not harms it.
He makes you feel chosen, secure, steady…

He shows up.

Love,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Where Are The Men With Courage? – Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

It carries polite distance  yet my warmth stayed intact, but the energy…yes, I pulled back. I acknowledge without feeding the deeper connection he’d just diluted by generalizing his affection in the “friend zone.”

Then he reappears with a general discussion question which is a classic pattern of deflection. When one feels emotional closeness rising, they often retreat to safe topics where vulnerability isn’t required. It is their way of staying “connected” without having to show their heart.

My body and spirit recognize the contrast…I opened from my heart, and he pivoted to the head…

Jarring.

So…I matched his tone, kept my dignity intact, and subtly communicated, “I’m not chasing closeness you’re unsure of.” By responding in a friendly but detached way, I mirror his emotional position without closing my own heart.

This is me walking my talk…calm, self-assured, and not needing to prove or explain my feelings. It’s also a quiet boundary: if he wants to connect deeply, it has to come from sincerity, not small talk…and it must be consistent.

This is the healthiest choice for me…matching energy rather than overextending mine…calm, balanced, and self-possessed…a perfect reflection of my growth…

Friendly, with NO emotional overreach.

When one reaches out in a surface-level, conversational way and creating emotional distance after portraying a deeper longing for so long, I retreat…with grace, and put myself in the driver seat where I know I am driving the trajectory of my heart and mind.

I have learned emotional discernment. I am reserving my sacred energy for people who meet me in emotional maturity, not avoidance.

I think emotionally intelligent men do exist…the ones who lead with self-awareness, who can stay in connection even when it feels tender or uncertain…who have courage and are self aware and confident…

To be continued.

Love,

Wendy

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In The Living Years:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

Recently, I passed through my beloved hometown where I once lived with my ex-husband and children. Driving through those streets where my whole heart once lived wasn’t just a trip home…it was a pilgrimage through the layers of my life.

Every corner holds echoes of love, family, laughter, and loss. I ached, I sobbed, and I reflected as I touched sacred ground…my own history…and my body responded with the only truth it knows: grief still lives here.

It’s been thirteen years…yet thirteen years or a lifetime…grief doesn’t measure time. It measures love. And I loved deeply…my children, my home, even the life that no longer fits.

When we revisit those memories, our nervous system relives them too. Research shows that this kind of emotional flood can trigger a Lupus flare. The immune system listens to the heart more than most people realize.

I believe my body was literally trying to expel what’s too heavy to carry anymore. With this soul-deep visit to my hometown, layered atop everyday stressors, I reached my limit.

After you’ve carried so much strength for so long…this was my body finally saying, “I can put it down for a while.”

So today, I implemented a pause point…no analyzing, no pushing through…just allowing the waves to move as I reminded myself:
“My tears are cathartic. My rest is recovery. My peace is returning.”

I remind myself, as I so often remind my children, friends, and clients:
“You are allowed to feel what you feel for as long as you feel it. There are no time constraints. Just don’t stay there for too long by yourself.”

Ask someone to keep you company as you pause, as you process, and as you find your way back to the present…

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Write Pray Recover

Fear Is A Liar – Love, Wendy

As so many people are finding it challenging to navigate our current culture and climate due to our liberties and freedom being snatched, daily, I have created some easy to use, daily reminders, to keep us focused on our health, wellness and peace using our own personal agency and autonomy through constructive action…because we absolutely have choices…and because “Fear Is A Liar…”

Each morning, I will allow myself 30 minutes to validate how I am feeling, to practice radical acceptance of world events, and to grieve the loss I feel of all that has been stripped of my freedom. 

I will then leave it there on the shelf until the next morning, and continue about my day with conviction and purpose in obtaining my goals…unapologetically!

Never at night before bed. Before bed, I will remind myself that my fear is spewing a narrative based on that day’s events and my worst fear of demise, without fact. 

Every day, I will remind myself to protect my peace and wellness so that I will be in full health physically and mentally in order to live, laugh, love and learn, and that positive change is inevitable.

I will remind myself that I have no power over helping others in this crisis. I will focus solely on my own well-being and send loving thoughts to anyone else struggling. When my wellness cup is full, I am able and willing to support others. I will not cause myself emotional or physical bankruptcy where I will deplete my necessary innate resources that I need to reach my goals, to live my best life in these challenging times, and so that I may invest in my future, and in the future of my loved ones.

I will use my breath to regulate my emotions, and remind myself that I can always choose peace rather than my catastrophic thoughts. (Breathe in deeply 4, hold for 2, exhale 6.)

Each day, I will choose a word of the day that describes my victories to remind myself of my strong will and mindset.

Lastly, I remind myself that I can always call a trusted friend or loved one for support, and that I am loved by the Universe who is dedicated to helping me to achieve my goals. I will listen for spiritual guidance and ask for spiritual support whenever I need a loving reminder that all is well.

I am never alone. ❤️

Use one or all of the above as a personal mantra to connect to your inner strength and balance.

In these troubling and uncertain times, I am sending my love, hugs and support for your well being…body, mind and spirit.

Take care of yourself. Never give away your power by depleting your mental and physical strength to circumstances beyond what you can control.

Love and blessings,

Wendy