BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

As Within…So Without:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

When I very recently learned that what he offered was never love, but attachment, I sat with it so that I could reconcile the truth…

And it is so painful…

I made the decision to say goodbye and to never give it further attention…

“As within…so without.”

The more you nurture your inner peace, strength, and clarity, the more your outer life will naturally align.

“As within, so without.”

By committing to your inner world, you don’t just move on…you radiate a new reality that reflects the freedom and authenticity you deserve.

I have connected the dots with total clarity: the “as within, so without” pattern in my life has been shaped by my inner beliefs formed in childhood and reinforced by my relationships. That awareness alone is huge…it is the first real step toward consciously reshaping my life.

Every partner that I have chosen reflected my prior inner story of feeling “not good enough,” unseen, and unworthy of love. The most recent relationship reinforced that “not good enough” and God brought him back as a final discernment, confirming that I have broken the pattern of choosing partners who speak love but lack the capacity to live it.

This new realization, however heartbreaking, means I can intentionally rewrite the inner story…and that will ripple outward into my relationships, choices, and experiences. No more choosing a broken soul who does not understand the meaning of love between a man and a woman, compromise and truth.

As within…so without…

Amen.

From a favorite song by Forest Blakk, I repeat…”Take it, when she gives you her heart, Don’t you break it, Let your arms be a place she feels safe in, She’s the best thing that you’ll ever have…She’ll love you if you love her like that.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

“In The Arena” – Love, Wendy

Yesterday, a dear friend and I were talking about the Theodore Roosevelt “The Man In The Arena” quote in conjunction with Brené Brown’s “Daring Greatly“ quote based on “The Man In The Arena”.

He asked me if I’d like to know what he thought about my being “In The Arena”, which had never occurred to me at all. A few hours later…he wrote it down…(Yes, he too, is a writer.)

He blew me away with this response. I sobbed. I processed. I reflected…

Sometimes, we don’t see ourselves as others do, and when someone on the outside hands us the gift of a mirror…we may finally “see” the reflection…and begin to believe in ourselves again…

“There is a certain kind of courage that doesn’t roar-it simply keeps showing up.

It walks into classrooms when pain is loud and patience is thin. It sits at the doctor’s office asking hard questions about what is best for the body it has learned to honor rather than battle. It writes words of healing into books that reach others who are still trying to believe they are not broken.

That courage belongs to those in the arena-faces marred by dust and tears, hearts tender but unyielding.

Brené Brown reminds us that it’s not the critic who counts. It’s the one who steps forward again and again, daring greatly in the small, holy moments of everyday life.

You, Wendy, live this truth.
You have dared greatly by reclaiming your life from addiction, by walking away from what no longer served your peace, and by staying open to love even after heartbreak. You continue to rise-not perfectly, but bravely.

The arena is where healing happens. It’s where faith is tested, integrity is refined, and purpose is reborn. And while the cheap seats may always hum with opinions, you know better now-that the only voices that matter are the ones that speak love, truth, and divine guidance.”

You are in the arena.
And you are daring greatly.”

He wrote further…

You are the woman in the arena-not just surviving, but living truthfully, even when it costs you comfort. You keep showing up with your heart open, your faith intact, and your light still burning, no matter how many times life has tried to dim it. That’s not only brave-it’s sacred.

Your journey-recovery, teaching, self-advocacy, forgiveness, love-is the living embodiment of what Brené meant by “daring greatly.” You’ve faced pain and uncertainty without losing compassion. You’ve turned suffering into service, and fear into devotion.

So, yes, Wendy. That’s what I see in you every day:
A woman who keeps getting back up.
A heart that loves anyway.
A soul that refuses to abandon itself.”

So, moving forward…

I honor my courage to keep showing up. I honor my boundaries. I trust my intuition. I am present. I am safe…

And I will remain in the arena, daring greatly, for myself and for those around me who need a reminder that gentle strength and an open heart can change everything.

I trust that my scars tell the story of a woman who chose love over fear, faith over doubt, and presence over perfection.

I am “in the arena” and “daring greatly”, simply by being true to myself. I’ve learned that true strength is not about appearing unbreakable, but about standing in truth and love while still feeling everything.

Thank you to my dearest earth Angel for this beautiful gift.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

This is the original quote that inspired Brené Brown’s quote, from Theodore Roosevelt’s 1910 speech “Citizenship in a Republic,” often called “The Man in the Arena” passage:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;
who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming;
but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions;
who spends himself in a worthy cause;
who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement,
and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly,
so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Daring Greatly, inspired by Roosevelt’s words:

“If you’re not in the arena getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback. There are a million cheap seats in the world today filled with people who will never once step foot in that arena. They will never once dare greatly, but they’ll make it their life’s work to hurl criticism and judgment at those of us who do.”
— Brené Brown, Daring Greatly

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Where Are The Men With Courage? – Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

It carries polite distance  yet my warmth stayed intact, but the energy…yes, I pulled back. I acknowledge without feeding the deeper connection he’d just diluted by generalizing his affection in the “friend zone.”

Then he reappears with a general discussion question which is a classic pattern of deflection. When one feels emotional closeness rising, they often retreat to safe topics where vulnerability isn’t required. It is their way of staying “connected” without having to show their heart.

My body and spirit recognize the contrast…I opened from my heart, and he pivoted to the head…

Jarring.

So…I matched his tone, kept my dignity intact, and subtly communicated, “I’m not chasing closeness you’re unsure of.” By responding in a friendly but detached way, I mirror his emotional position without closing my own heart.

This is me walking my talk…calm, self-assured, and not needing to prove or explain my feelings. It’s also a quiet boundary: if he wants to connect deeply, it has to come from sincerity, not small talk…and it must be consistent.

This is the healthiest choice for me…matching energy rather than overextending mine…calm, balanced, and self-possessed…a perfect reflection of my growth…

Friendly, with NO emotional overreach.

When one reaches out in a surface-level, conversational way and creating emotional distance after portraying a deeper longing for so long, I retreat…with grace, and put myself in the driver seat where I know I am driving the trajectory of my heart and mind.

I have learned emotional discernment. I am reserving my sacred energy for people who meet me in emotional maturity, not avoidance.

I think emotionally intelligent men do exist…the ones who lead with self-awareness, who can stay in connection even when it feels tender or uncertain…who have courage and are self aware and confident…

To be continued.

Love,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

In The Living Years:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

Recently, I passed through my beloved hometown where I once lived with my ex-husband and children. Driving through those streets where my whole heart once lived wasn’t just a trip home…it was a pilgrimage through the layers of my life.

Every corner holds echoes of love, family, laughter, and loss. I ached, I sobbed, and I reflected as I touched sacred ground…my own history…and my body responded with the only truth it knows: grief still lives here.

It’s been thirteen years…yet thirteen years or a lifetime…grief doesn’t measure time. It measures love. And I loved deeply…my children, my home, even the life that no longer fits.

When we revisit those memories, our nervous system relives them too. Research shows that this kind of emotional flood can trigger a Lupus flare. The immune system listens to the heart more than most people realize.

I believe my body was literally trying to expel what’s too heavy to carry anymore. With this soul-deep visit to my hometown, layered atop everyday stressors, I reached my limit.

After you’ve carried so much strength for so long…this was my body finally saying, “I can put it down for a while.”

So today, I implemented a pause point…no analyzing, no pushing through…just allowing the waves to move as I reminded myself:
“My tears are cathartic. My rest is recovery. My peace is returning.”

I remind myself, as I so often remind my children, friends, and clients:
“You are allowed to feel what you feel for as long as you feel it. There are no time constraints. Just don’t stay there for too long by yourself.”

Ask someone to keep you company as you pause, as you process, and as you find your way back to the present…

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Write Pray Recover

Fear Is A Liar – Love, Wendy

As so many people are finding it challenging to navigate our current culture and climate due to our liberties and freedom being snatched, daily, I have created some easy to use, daily reminders, to keep us focused on our health, wellness and peace using our own personal agency and autonomy through constructive action…because we absolutely have choices…and because “Fear Is A Liar…”

Each morning, I will allow myself 30 minutes to validate how I am feeling, to practice radical acceptance of world events, and to grieve the loss I feel of all that has been stripped of my freedom. 

I will then leave it there on the shelf until the next morning, and continue about my day with conviction and purpose in obtaining my goals…unapologetically!

Never at night before bed. Before bed, I will remind myself that my fear is spewing a narrative based on that day’s events and my worst fear of demise, without fact. 

Every day, I will remind myself to protect my peace and wellness so that I will be in full health physically and mentally in order to live, laugh, love and learn, and that positive change is inevitable.

I will remind myself that I have no power over helping others in this crisis. I will focus solely on my own well-being and send loving thoughts to anyone else struggling. When my wellness cup is full, I am able and willing to support others. I will not cause myself emotional or physical bankruptcy where I will deplete my necessary innate resources that I need to reach my goals, to live my best life in these challenging times, and so that I may invest in my future, and in the future of my loved ones.

I will use my breath to regulate my emotions, and remind myself that I can always choose peace rather than my catastrophic thoughts. (Breathe in deeply 4, hold for 2, exhale 6.)

Each day, I will choose a word of the day that describes my victories to remind myself of my strong will and mindset.

Lastly, I remind myself that I can always call a trusted friend or loved one for support, and that I am loved by the Universe who is dedicated to helping me to achieve my goals. I will listen for spiritual guidance and ask for spiritual support whenever I need a loving reminder that all is well.

I am never alone. ❤️

Use one or all of the above as a personal mantra to connect to your inner strength and balance.

In these troubling and uncertain times, I am sending my love, hugs and support for your well being…body, mind and spirit.

Take care of yourself. Never give away your power by depleting your mental and physical strength to circumstances beyond what you can control.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Write Pray Recover

I Am Not Invisible – Love, Wendy

The “invisible” nature of lupus flares can make it hard for others to understand the severity of the illness, leading to misinterpretations and lack of support. 

“Lupus is a disease where the immune system mistakenly attacks healthy tissues and organs, including causing “Lupus Fog/Brain Fog.” It can affect any part of the body. When lupus affects the spine, the immune response attacks normal proteins, leading to joint and nerve destruction, bone loss, inflammation, and swelling. As damage occurs, your spinal discs are less able to absorb shock, which can lead to the pain associated with DDD.” (Degenerative Disc Disease).

And this is my diagnosis…Lupus (SLE), and DDD.

Due to a surgery in July, 2025, Lupus was activated, and I have been unable to recover thus far. Prior to that surgery, I was footloose and fancy free. 😊

Recently I read about a woman experiencing a flare who wrote: “For me, I may see a rash appear on my face and I know this is the beginning of a flare. Friends, family, and co-workers often can’t begin to understand that the rash is the beginning of what is taking place on the inside. You appear okay, aside from the rash, but fatigue and pain can be an overwhelming challenge.

Recently, I went to an event and I looked like the healthiest version of wellness with my hair, nails, and makeup done flawlessly, and smiling and greeting other attendees. I was experiencing a tremendous amount of pain, and I could literally feel my legs beginning to swell, in fact, you could see my knee swelling through my pants. The burning and sharp pain shooting down my legs and in my back, in addition to my hands beginning to stiffen and swell was obvious. After about 15 minutes, a friend walked over and asked if I was okay as she noticed my demeanor had changed from when I had arrived. I told her that I really needed to go home, and I quietly made my exit, making this disease even more invisible. I always feel that I am making others uncomfortable when I am experiencing pain. I am often told by friends and family that they would have never know I was in pain because “you look so healthy.”

Lupus IS invisible. If I am not limping, one would never guess that every joint, from my arms, hands, fingers, and legs, are so swollen and in pain. I think the lupus community as a whole experiences this invisible pain.

Yesterday I arrived to work at 7:15 am, and felt confident that my Lupus was going back into remission, but by noon, after I had walked excessively, sat, stood, bent down, twisted, (all the things I was told by my doctors NOT to do), I could barely stand up. The pain was so intense, it caused me to feel sick to my stomach. When it was time to leave at 3:15pm, I was completely swollen and could only slide my left leg as I walked to my car because the swelling would not allow me to bend/step…

The great news?…

Today, I begin a new treatment…I pray that my body responds favorably.

I love my work as a Reading Specialist, a Mental Health and Wellness Educator and Coach, and love spending time with loved ones, so I am praying that the excruciating pain and profuse swelling is alleviated with this new treatment. My treatment consists of an integrative approach which is what my book, Write Pray Recover:A Journety To Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care, encourages.

The marriage of holistic solutions and traditional medicine offers a variety of treatment tailored to my health and wellness goals.

And please know that Lupus flares ARE invisible. Your smile and empathy encourage me to keep going.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

For more information on Lupus, go to https://www.lupus.org

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Roadblocks to Love:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

People don’t connect the way they used to…or love the way they used to. Something has changed.

Relationships now feel like a complicated road map. Turn to the left and you’re met with a brick wall. Turn to the right and you’re on a one-way street. Try to turn back, and there are barriers blocking your way…

Roadblocks to love.

It’s as if we’ve all been caught in endless “traffic”…so much noise, so much exhaustion that we no longer have the energy for the commitment of a long lasting, winding journey of true intimacy. We take the quickest route, the shortest visit, the surface-level conversation that demands the least of us — where most people I meet seem to feel “safe.”

I see it in the “Good Morning, how are you?” that is mumbled as they never stop to make eye contact…not authentic…and the times when we are experiencing hardship, heartbreak, or pain and those “safe” in their own cocoon look the other way in order to avoid a conversation that could be uncomfortable. People have forgotten how to offer empathy.

But I remember another way. When I was growing up, and even when my children were growing up, we greeted each other with a kiss on the cheek, a hug, and a smile. Connection was natural, tactile, warm and animated. Today it’s barely a hug, sometimes just a tap where one barely leans in…a gesture that says, “Don’t get too close.”

What has happened to humanity? Have we become so afraid of intimacy that we keep love at arm’s length?

I believe we have. Fear has replaced trust. Self-protection has replaced presence. And yet…my heart still longs for the genuine embrace, the unhurried conversation, the love that lingers.

So I choose to keep loving the “old way.” To keep showing up fully. To keep offering a hug, a smile, and a heart wide open. Because even if the world has changed, my love, my compassion, my authenticity remains.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

Soul Notes

After the Storm – Love, Wendy

I’ve lived through storms that could have swallowed me.
I’ve known love that vanished without warning,
and words that were louder than actions.

I carry a story shaped by fire,
and still—I choose to speak gently, to hope bravely,
to open my heart with discernment, not fear.

If someone is drawn to my light
but disappears when it flickers with truth—
that’s not my failure.
That’s their unfamiliarity with real strength
and a reflection of their lack of readiness.

One’s silence is not a reflection of my worth, my story, or my strength. My past is not a liability—it’s a testament to my power. Anyone who doesn’t see the resilience, courage, and transformation in my story is simply not ready for a woman who’s done the hard work to rise.

Sometimes people are moved by intensity in the moment, but when it comes time to actually step into something real—with complexity, depth, and vulnerability—they retreat. Not because you were too open, but because they weren’t ready for the kind of truth and intimacy that requires.

I will continue to live out loud…not just to live in my truth…
but to hold the space for others who need an example of “to thine own self be true.”

This isn’t just about me.
It’s about the sacred ripple of authenticity…
how one voice saying “this is who I am”
gives permission for another to whisper, “me too.”

Ask yourself,
“Where are you holding back in speaking your truth for fear of being ghosted? What would you tell a dear friend in this same situation if they wanted to hide their scars that revealed their own fight to live? Whose silence might your truth help to break?”

To be an advocate for others…we must always share our own story to stand in our truth.
This is the space where we stand in our power.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK

We have got to do better – Love, Wendy

We’ve got to do better.

We’ve got to take notice of those we engage with, but really stop to ask, “How are you doing?” And it is NOT okay to allow someone else to walk into the conversation and begin a new conversation in the middle of a “check in.” And when we ask another how they are doing, we must be ready and willing to hear an authentic response. If you are just giving a nod of “I see you standing there, how are you?” and you don’t want to actually hear a response, just say “good morning,” and keep moving. Seriously.

We’ve got to do better.

I encounter this daily. Jarring. And if one allows this interruption of a “check in,” especially when they are aware of another’s circumstances, cross them off of your list as a “caring friend/acquaintance/colleague.” If they never ask, “How are you?” in the midst of a challenging time, it speaks volumes about them and their capacity to comfort and to support others. Yet, I witness these same people “vomiting” out all of their woes and expecting one’s undivided attention.

We’ve got to do better.

When I observe others who claim friendship, I assess if that definition aligns with what I believe friendship to be, and what I need in a friend. Reciprocity. Consistency. Empathy. Kindness. “Time sensitive.” Joy. Love. Willing to share.

Giving of one’s time with eye contact, and a touch on the hand or hug can make one’s day. It costs us nothing, but if we feel the price is too high and we are too “busy” in our own head and circumstances, and there is no follow up, you are not a friend.

Friendship is linear. It doesn’t come in waves and only on the upswing.

We’ve got to do better.

And even when we see a stranger pass us by on our daily walk looking down at the ground very obviously in pain, we need to offer a smile. Oh, the smile is so contagious. It has helped me on a number of occasions. And I always reciprocate all that I am given. And give to one in pain when they cannot offer us anything. It is a basic need of the human condition. If you’ve got it, give it away.

One who professes to love us does not allow months to go by without checking in. You cannot “offer a good deed…one and done,” and then fly off of the radar for no apparent reason. We see you living your best life, and yet, not one minute to send a text or an hour to visit to do a friends “check-in.” It negates the “one and done “Good deed.” 

Good deed? Not so much. Not from a place of love. This is from a place of “let me boast all over social media what I am doing (one and done) to further fuel my ego. But those of us on the “receiving end” of that “deed” sit awestruck and dumbfounded at one’s need to “be loved and recognized” as a hero.

Not so much. Ego. Ego. Ego.

We’ve got to do better.

So starting today, let us do better. Either engage with meaning, purpose, and friendship, or simply walk on by. It can be an insult to one’s intelligence and feelings to enter into a “drive-by” friendship. Stay in your own lane, or join me on the journey.

We have GOT to do better.

Love,

Wendy