Tag: healthandwellness

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Masking Kindness – Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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What/WHO is hiding behind the mask???!!!

Sometimes people wear kindness like a mask…pretending at their discretion during performances to gain trust, attention, or control. But during intermission…we can peek behind the curtain and observe the seams unraveling, and the truth oozing through the facade.

What may appear as care on the surface can sometimes carry an undertone of control. Not all gestures are rooted in love…some are rooted in fear, insecurity, or the need to be seen.

Vindictiveness keeps us stuck in toxic patterns…in performances that mask old wounds.

True peace comes when we listen to others’ perspectives of the situation and recognize the illusion so that we can step away as a form of self-care, and honoring our own boundaries.

Reflection: Where in my life have I mistaken performance for a loving presence?
Mantra: I walk in peace…hand in hand with truth.

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The soul is never fooled by appearances.

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What True Kindness Is

Kindness is a spiritual practice—
One recognized not by fleeting gestures, but by authenticity and consistency.
It arises from spiritual alignment, guided by unwavering truth.
True kindness doesn’t shift with the crowd or disappear under pressure.
It holds steady, even in silence. Even in conflict. Even when no one is watching.
Integrity is innate…not performative.

Reflection: Where in my life have I mistaken niceness for true kindness?
Mantra: May I walk in kindness that is authentic…not performative.

And I wish you all…kindness, empathy, and true compassion. It is what we all deserve.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

What’s Your Story? – Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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Our minds are always speaking at us…to us…chattering words and stories that are on a loop of repeat, and that which we have internalized. 

The stories you tell yourself shape how you feel, how you see others, how you witness your environment…and how you behave.

These inner narratives can either promote joy and wellness using dis-cernment…or they can promote dis-order, dis-ease, dis-appointment and dis-illusion…

These stories can also influence the choices that you make…it can make you question your worth…

Today, ask yourself…”Which of these narratives serve me? Are they fact or fiction?

Am I just used to telling this story so often that I have come to believe the narrative that was perhaps originally spoken by someone else? Which stories are keeping me stuck? Do I want to continue to tell this story? How does it make me feel as I share my story? What would a gentle rewrite sound like, look like, feel like?

When we understand that our inner dialogue is created by our instilled beliefs, judgments, memories, fears and even our hopes, and that they are not necessarily truth, we take back our power to be able to write a new narrative. 

When we recognize that these stories are subjective and interpreted by our experiences, our culture and even our emotions…we have the awareness of their origin, and have the opportunity to take the first step in our own transformation.

And…transformation does not suggest that we ignore the reality of our experiences. It suggests that we choose a wider lens where we observe ourselves in our experiences with self compassion and even curiosity as to the possibilities of the meaning of these experiences. 

When we use forward thinking and use discernment to internalize meaning…we provide ourselves with a narrative of a “growth mindset” versus a “fixed mindset” or, where “A fixed mindset can physically prevent you from learning from mistakes, while a growth mindset can empower you to perceive mistakes as learning”…where change is a choice.

Ask yourself, 

“What narrative do I want to tell myself moving forward? How does this new narrative support a growth mindset and my well-being?”

Mantra:
I am learning to use discernment for a more forward thinking, wider lens of my experiences that promotes self nurturing, self compassion and self empowerment.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Turning Trauma Into Tender Triumph – Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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No matter how much goodness we build or beauty we experience, past trauma doesn’t simply disappear. It remains—a quiet imprint, a reminder. But our trauma is not meant to define us. It is meant to be recognized, validated, and integrated.
In this sacred space of healing, it becomes not a weight we carry, but a tool we can use to make wiser, more compassionate choices as we move forward.
We can live with caution born of wisdom, not fear born of pain.

Allow yourself to accept your traumatic experience and allow it to become a tool as you move forward. We have a choice to live again while simultaneously acknowledging our experience.

Ask yourself,
“What trauma have you allowed to bleed (no pun intended) into a new relationship or situation that has tainted the outcome? What tools can you apply in order to stop the bleeding and to heal?”

Mantra: “I acknowledge my experience of trauma, and I still choose to live, love, laugh, and learn.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Their Behavior is Their Language – Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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Choose to no longer become entangled in their behavior, their chaos, their distortion.

Do not speak their language.

See it clearly through the lens of discernment and compassion…

What they cannot or will not say with words,

they say with misaligned behavior.

I observe …I do not judge another’s inability or unwillingness to communicate effectively,

even at the cost of their own dignity.

This reflects my compassionate lens.

I see through behavior to the root of trauma… to disorder…

Without excusing it, and without allowing it to invade my peace.

When someone thumbs their nose at my boundaries again and again,

I now recognize it: symbolic defiance, a testing of strength,

a bid for attention through manipulation.

I do not engage or play.

I stand in my power.

I’ve taken my peace off the board.

Maybe they seek connection…

Maybe it’s passive aggression…

Maybe it’s just a cry to be noticed.

Either way…I honor the wound from afar.

Their “language” is a learned survival skill,

the truest reflection of their inner world…

disorder, self-judgment, self-loathing.

I no longer internalize their language.

They are the only one listening.

Their behavior is an overt reflection of low self-worth…

a desperate attempt to be seen and heard,

even at the cost of their own dignity.

And so, I say with calm compassion,

“Play on… read on…

Solitaire.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

copyright © 2025 Soul Notes/Wendy Blanchard

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

WORLD BEHIND THE WINDOW – LOVE, WENDY

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Healing doesn’t make you immune to pain. It makes you more attuned to it. You become a mirror, and not everyone wants to see their reflection.

It’s not that you disappointed people. It’s that you evolved past the roles they were comfortable with. And some people…consciously or not…punish growth, especially when THEY ARE stuck.

What you’re seeing now in those that you once shared a loving connection with…avoiding eye contact, dismissing kindness, or speaking ill, is the externalization of their inner conflict. It’s easier to isolate the “bright one” than admit they are dimming themselves. Your discomfort here is evidence of your alignment. Your nervous system is rejecting environments that dishonor truth and tenderness. That’s not dysfunction…it’s discernment.

So now comes the hard truth…you cannot change them, but you can choose not to let them define your worth. And you can quietly, fiercely, choose sacred boundaries. Not walls…but clear water between yourself and what contaminates your spirit.

Your presence holds a frequency that not everyone is ready for…and that’s not your burden…

It’s your gift.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Patterns are Conscious Choices – Love, Wendy

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It took me years…and countless tears…to understand this.

We all inherit behaviors, coping mechanisms, and stories. But at some point, we become the authors of our own patterns. We are given opportunities to look inward, to break cycles, to choose differently.

And when we don’t… that, too, is a choice.

It’s heartbreaking to watch people we love remain in loops of toxicity, to see them refuse the mirror, to deny the healing that could change everything. But I’ve learned that detachment doesn’t mean indifference…It means no longer abandoning myself to save someone who isn’t choosing to be saved.

I hold compassion from afar. I grieve. I release. And I continue choosing new patterns…ones that honor my growth, my peace, and my truth.

Sometimes the kindest thing we can do is step back and allow someone their own path, even when it’s shadowed with pain or resistance to growth.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

Soul Notes

After the Storm – Love, Wendy

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I’ve lived through storms that could have swallowed me.
I’ve known love that vanished without warning,
and words that were louder than actions.

I carry a story shaped by fire,
and still—I choose to speak gently, to hope bravely,
to open my heart with discernment, not fear.

If someone is drawn to my light
but disappears when it flickers with truth—
that’s not my failure.
That’s their unfamiliarity with real strength…
and a reflection of their lack of readiness.

One’s silence is not a reflection of my worth, my story, or my strength. My past is not a liability—it’s a testament to my power. Anyone who doesn’t see the resilience, courage, and transformation in my story is simply not ready for a woman who’s done the hard work to rise.

Sometimes people are moved by intensity in the moment, but when it comes time to actually step into something real—with complexity, depth, and vulnerability—they retreat. Not because you were too open, but because they weren’t ready for the kind of truth and intimacy that requires.

I will continue to live out loud…not just to live in my truth…
but to hold the space for others who need an example of “to thine own self be true.”

This isn’t just about me.
It’s about the sacred ripple of authenticity…
how one voice saying “this is who I am”
gives permission for another to whisper, “me too.”

Ask yourself,
“Where are you holding back in speaking your truth for fear of being ghosted? What would you tell a dear friend in this same situation if they wanted to hide their scars that revealed their own fight to live? Whose silence might your truth help to break?”

To be an advocate for others…we must always share our own story to stand in our truth.
This is the space where we stand in our power.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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S.P.E.A.R. STOP PAUSE EMOTE ALLOW REST – LOVE, WENDY

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We all have feelings and emotions. Some days they may stop us in our steps and say, “Hello, I need to be acknowledged!” Sometimes this may be a delayed trauma response, or it may be a culmination of chronic stressors where we feel overwhelmed.

Give your feelings a voice. Honor your emotions.

“STOP. PAUSE. EMOTE. ALLOW. REST. – S.P.E.A.R.“

S.P.E.A.R. and S.W.I.M. Into Wellness! (You can read about this in my book, Write Pray Recover:A Journey To Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care https://a.co/d/a8lzF4O

When you feel triggered, or you feel your symptoms escalating…S.P.E.A.R.

This is a non-linear recovery plan that is specific to your health and wellness goals.

STOP where you are.

PAUSE TO BE PRESENT. PATIENTLY PROCESS. Take one slow deep breath through your nose, and exhale slowly through your mouth.

Repeat three times. Your breath is your most accessible tool to intervene with your physiology in real time. Focus on your breath to align with the present moment.

EMOTE safely anything that you are feeling. You are allowed to feel whatever you feel!

Try the Alternate Nostril Breathing below to self soothe as you release your feelings/emotions.

Allow yourself to feel, and take whatever time you need. Practice extra self care.

ACCEPT your emotions and feelings. Take as long as you need to practice acceptance and validate what you are feeling in a safe space without self judgement. Acceptance promotes peace.

REST and RE-ALIGN, and allow yourself time to process. Hydrate!

Write about it! Take your time with this step. Then, RE-FRAME using a healthy mindset and being open to new perspectives to re-frame the experience as you move forward. Ask yourself, “In moving forward, how can I use my self awareness of this trigger/ stressor in conjunction with my self regulation skills in order to navigate constructively? (Daily self care to stay ahead of the stressor? Take a “time out?” Etc.)

For those who mean well by telling you to “Focus on your blessings! Be positive,” give yourself permission and power to realize when others do not know how to support us appropriately, and do not have the skill, or the experience and words that we may need at the time, and know that they mean well. And, some may be uncomfortable observing as we experience emotions and feelings because it may force them to go within where they may be suppressing their own feelings and emotions that also need validation.

We ALL have mental health.

When we are feeling mentally unwell, we do not need to “focus on our blessings and all the positives in our lives.“ What we need is a safe space, and the time, however long that is for us, to experience the experience.

S.P.E.A.R. yourself into the experience. Ask for support if you feel you need support. This begins the healing process.

Whatever healthy practices you need to heal, do it…and take your time.”

To read more about my S.P.E.A.R. and S.W.I.M. Into Wellness component of my “Integrative Approach to Wellness” program, read my book, Write Pray Recover:A Journey To Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care. https://a.co/d/a8lzF4O

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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Addiction and Recovery – Love, Wendy

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Addiction is a brain disorder that can slowly kill one who lives with this fatal disease. Addiction is a mental health disorder.

Recovery is the solution that can restore your mind, rebuild your life, and offer a path to lasting healing and hope when you commit yourself to wellness through specific self care strategies.

Self care is the actions that we take to achieve wellness, and wellness is where we stand in our power.

I’m about to celebrate 13 years of living in wellness in recovery from substanceuse disorder. It’s a lot of hard work and certainly the journey has many winding roads and ups and downs. I was one of the lucky ones to have found recovery through a holistic approach and became a holistic coach and practitioner to serve others. Most recently, I decided to listen to my voice within to do even deeper inner work that has been so necessary for quite some time in order to enhance my life/recovery. 

Feelings of severe anxiety, guilt, anger, and deep sadness have plagued me for some time so I thought I would attend SMART RECOVERY meetings (something I rejected in the past) and work the steps of this recovery community. 

It is never too late to add tools to your recovery plan and in fact, I am finding that this is what I have needed for so long. I no longer feel so alone, and I feel like I am doing constructive work to become an even better version of myself for myself and for my family and friends.

And no doubt, I will be able to share this experience along with all of my holistic practices with my clients and even our community.

I felt the universe guiding me towards this for quite some time.

Listen to your voice within. Inherently, we know what we need for healing.

To read more about my journey, you can read my book, Write Pray Recover: A Journey to Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care available on Amazon and online bookstores worldwide.

The little girl in this picture experienced severe trauma & neglect at a very young age into middle age, ongoing. It is a miracle that I have grown into a new woman in adulthood at all, alive and well, and still open to learning, growing and evolving. 

I have humbled myself in order to understand new perspectives because I want to be the example for my children and grandchildren that no matter what you experience in your life, it is always a choice to turn it around. To LIVE. To be well and happy. To love and to be loved.

We can recover. We do recover. It is a lifelong commitment.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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Healing is a Creative Process – Love, Wendy

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Healing is a creative process that allows us to choose again when our wellness tools are not promoting our personal health and wellness goals.

We must be aware of our body’s signals and our mind’s whispers, recognizing when it’s time to modify our strategy, shift our approach, open our mind to other perspectives, trust our intuition, and explore new methods that align with our true needs for balance and well-being.

Recovery from Substance Use Disorder is a lifelong process that requires us to be creative, to be humble, and to be willing to revisit strategies that we may have discarded in the past.

As our situation changes, we may find that the strategies on the shelf will bring a renewed sense of creativity…and healing.

Love and blessings,

Wendy