Tag: healing

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

As Within…So Without:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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When I very recently learned that what he offered was never love, but attachment, I sat with it so that I could reconcile the truth…

And it is so painful…

I made the decision to say goodbye and to never give it further attention…

“As within…so without.”

The more you nurture your inner peace, strength, and clarity, the more your outer life will naturally align.

“As within, so without.”

By committing to your inner world, you don’t just move on…you radiate a new reality that reflects the freedom and authenticity you deserve.

I have connected the dots with total clarity: the “as within, so without” pattern in my life has been shaped by my inner beliefs formed in childhood and reinforced by my relationships. That awareness alone is huge…it is the first real step toward consciously reshaping my life.

Every partner that I have chosen reflected my prior inner story of feeling “not good enough,” unseen, and unworthy of love. The most recent relationship reinforced that “not good enough” and God brought him back as a final discernment, confirming that I have broken the pattern of choosing partners who speak love but lack the capacity to live it.

This new realization, however heartbreaking, means I can intentionally rewrite the inner story…and that will ripple outward into my relationships, choices, and experiences. No more choosing a broken soul who does not understand the meaning of love between a man and a woman, compromise and truth.

As within…so without…

Amen.

From a favorite song by Forest Blakk, I repeat…”Take it, when she gives you her heart, Don’t you break it, Let your arms be a place she feels safe in, She’s the best thing that you’ll ever have…She’ll love you if you love her like that.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Where Are The Men With Courage? – Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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It carries polite distance  yet my warmth stayed intact, but the energy…yes, I pulled back. I acknowledge without feeding the deeper connection he’d just diluted by generalizing his affection in the “friend zone.”

Then he reappears with a general discussion question which is a classic pattern of deflection. When one feels emotional closeness rising, they often retreat to safe topics where vulnerability isn’t required. It is their way of staying “connected” without having to show their heart.

My body and spirit recognize the contrast…I opened from my heart, and he pivoted to the head…

Jarring.

So…I matched his tone, kept my dignity intact, and subtly communicated, “I’m not chasing closeness you’re unsure of.” By responding in a friendly but detached way, I mirror his emotional position without closing my own heart.

This is me walking my talk…calm, self-assured, and not needing to prove or explain my feelings. It’s also a quiet boundary: if he wants to connect deeply, it has to come from sincerity, not small talk…and it must be consistent.

This is the healthiest choice for me…matching energy rather than overextending mine…calm, balanced, and self-possessed…a perfect reflection of my growth…

Friendly, with NO emotional overreach.

When one reaches out in a surface-level, conversational way and creating emotional distance after portraying a deeper longing for so long, I retreat…with grace, and put myself in the driver seat where I know I am driving the trajectory of my heart and mind.

I have learned emotional discernment. I am reserving my sacred energy for people who meet me in emotional maturity, not avoidance.

I think emotionally intelligent men do exist…the ones who lead with self-awareness, who can stay in connection even when it feels tender or uncertain…who have courage and are self aware and confident…

To be continued.

Love,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Science Meets Soul:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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I use writing as a tool for healing.
When we write down what we are feeling internally, it activates a part of the brain called the Reticular Activating System (RAS).
Writing with pen and paper stimulates this system, which filters the information our brain needs to process and supports my healing journey.
I teach about RAS in all of my mental health and wellness workshops, and I follow my knowledge into action by integrating evidence-based wellness strategies that reinforce intentional practices to retrain the brain toward calm, clarity, and healing.
This is the foundation of my holistic and integrative healing journey.

Carrying Lupus pain day after day is incredibly heavy…showing up, staying open, doing everything possible to heal and being unable to sleep…is completely exhausting in a way that most people can’t comprehend. 

When your body keeps screaming despite all your effort, it’s not just physical pain anymore; it’s heartbreak, frustration, and grief for the life I want back where I don’t have to be mindful of every move, every position, every activity and where I can make and keep plans with family and friends, or to not have to drop a course that I registered for because even sitting at home on the computer and then completing assignments is too painful after working a full day. 

The doctors tell me I need to give it 8-12 weeks. It has only been 3 since I began treatment. 

I pray for strength. I pray for patience and for grace…one breath at a time…

I continue to remind myself that I have been here before, and Lupus did go into remission.

I write. I process. I heal…

This is what resilience looks like in real time…messy, painful, faithful. One breath, one word, one day at a time.

The Reticular Activating System helps us reframe, refocus, and retrain the brain. Writing activates healing from within…

Science meets soul.

For anyone walking through invisible pain—you are not alone.

Healing asks for patience, and faith holds the light when strength runs low.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Write Pray Recover

Fear Is A Liar – Love, Wendy

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As so many people are finding it challenging to navigate our current culture and climate due to our liberties and freedom being snatched, daily, I have created some easy to use, daily reminders, to keep us focused on our health, wellness and peace using our own personal agency and autonomy through constructive action…because we absolutely have choices…and because “Fear Is A Liar…”

Each morning, I will allow myself 30 minutes to validate how I am feeling, to practice radical acceptance of world events, and to grieve the loss I feel of all that has been stripped of my freedom. 

I will then leave it there on the shelf until the next morning, and continue about my day with conviction and purpose in obtaining my goals…unapologetically!

Never at night before bed. Before bed, I will remind myself that my fear is spewing a narrative based on that day’s events and my worst fear of demise, without fact. 

Every day, I will remind myself to protect my peace and wellness so that I will be in full health physically and mentally in order to live, laugh, love and learn, and that positive change is inevitable.

I will remind myself that I have no power over helping others in this crisis. I will focus solely on my own well-being and send loving thoughts to anyone else struggling. When my wellness cup is full, I am able and willing to support others. I will not cause myself emotional or physical bankruptcy where I will deplete my necessary innate resources that I need to reach my goals, to live my best life in these challenging times, and so that I may invest in my future, and in the future of my loved ones.

I will use my breath to regulate my emotions, and remind myself that I can always choose peace rather than my catastrophic thoughts. (Breathe in deeply 4, hold for 2, exhale 6.)

Each day, I will choose a word of the day that describes my victories to remind myself of my strong will and mindset.

Lastly, I remind myself that I can always call a trusted friend or loved one for support, and that I am loved by the Universe who is dedicated to helping me to achieve my goals. I will listen for spiritual guidance and ask for spiritual support whenever I need a loving reminder that all is well.

I am never alone. ❤️

Use one or all of the above as a personal mantra to connect to your inner strength and balance.

In these troubling and uncertain times, I am sending my love, hugs and support for your well being…body, mind and spirit.

Take care of yourself. Never give away your power by depleting your mental and physical strength to circumstances beyond what you can control.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Living with Lupus And Thriving in Recovery – Love, Wendy

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Living with lupus requires a great deal of determination and patience and willingness to listen to what your body needs and what it’s asking for…especially when you are an otherwise active person and your body just…S-T-O-P-S…

And if that isn’t enough to embrace…when you are living in recovery from prescription drug addiction, as I am, it is even more of a mindful experience where I must choose only what will promote my wellness, as I do not accept any prescriptions that contain codeine and the like as that was my addiction…

So in the past 13 years of my “Wellness In Recovery…” I have learned many alternative solutions to soothe chronic pain and anxiety which I choose every time…and I am open to an integrative approach, as I write about in my book, Write Pray Recover:A Journey To Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care.

For me, as I continue to heal from a serious Lupus flare, I am choosing non-narcotic prescription meds that my rheumatologist has prescribed including steroids, in conjunction with my holistic practices such as gentle stretching, yoga poses, gentle walking, and of late, learning a little bit about Qi-Gong. One of my mantra’s is “Mindset over Movement…Movement over Medication.”

In addition, I do a significant amount of breath work to literally breathe in, or lean into the pain rather than tense up my joints and muscles where my body is able to relax as I use my mantra, “With each breath and step I take, I am healing.”

Organic foods, hydration, meditation/prayer, and surrounding myself with loved ones are just as important in promoting my own wellness.

My ongoing recovery from addiction and my desire for thriving in wellness is my most important intention and purpose. It is the foundation of my life.

Lupus is so unpredictable and this flare was triggered by a disc herniation and nerve impingement. Lupus invaded all of my joints and muscles, and halted any movement of my body…and in the moment that I realized that I could no longer move freely…I surrendered. (Read Chapter 13-“Surrender:The Peace of Knowing”) in my book.

I am moving slowly these days with purpose. Lupus is slowly subsiding…I am regaining my strength…And through the stiffness and heaviness, I choose to move. I am able to move. I set an intention to move and to be cognizant of how much my body is able to sustain…and then I rest accordingly.

I use deliberate breath work, and I listen and feel what my body has the ability to do each day…and sometimes it changes throughout the day…and I honor whatever that looks like.

For someone else, the right balance of care may look different, and I encourage you to find what resonates with you under the “umbrella” of healing, and implement it into your daily practices.

My wellness is my most important tool…through self care of healthy practices and a mindset of “With each breath and step I take, I am healing.”

From my book, Chapter 4:Self Care…“Think of it as you would your bank account. You must continue to replenish your bank account as your bills come in each month, otherwise your account becomes depleted, or even bankrupt. You must think of your wellness account in the same way! We have so many demands on our time and energy each day. If we do not replenish our wellness account, and we continue to “give out” our energy to all of the demands, we will go into debt, energetically, and become physically, mentally and spiritually bankrupt.”

“We must make the time for ourselves, through healthy practices, to experience wellness.” Wellness is ALWAYS a choice. My choice is to always live each day through healthy practices that support my health and wellness goals year round so that my body remembers exactly how to heal when I experience a flare. The brain remembers the rhythm of resilience, and it signals the body to return to balance, peace, and healing.

“Self care is the actions that we take to achieve wellness, and wellness is where we stand in our power!”

“With each breath and step I take, I am healing.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

Author Bio

Wendy Blanchard, M.S., INHC is an author, speaker, and Integrative Nutrition Health Coach specializing in holistic wellness and recovery. She is the author of Write Pray Recover: A Journey To Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care and is currently writing her second book, Soul Notes. Wendy is passionate about guiding others to sustainable wellness through spiritual solutions, self-care, and integrative practices.

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Chasing to be Chosen – Love, Wendy

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Chasing to be chosen is a trauma response.
Your nervous system is running on an old program where you thought you had to earn someone’s love. You’re confusing inconsistency with connection. Sometimes, people idealize the other person or the potential of the relationship, overlooking the red flags of inconsistency.

“In some cases, inconsistent behavior can be a form of manipulation, where one person is keeping the other “on their toes” to maintain power and control.”

Take back your power. YOU are worthy in every moment without anyone else’s validation.

Familiar doesn’t mean healthy. It may feel like home when you haven’t felt anything different in relationships, including with your caregivers as a child. If it felt like chaos and dysfunction, that’s what “home“ feels like to you… this is your comfort zone…where you feel safe.

So when they pull away, it feels like you are “homeless.” And when they come back, even if it’s for a second, your “home” is actually a dopamine rush that settles your mind and nervous system only for a minute until they disappear..again…and they will.
It’s an addictive cycle of chaos…of control…certainly not love.

Set healthy boundaries to protect your overall wellness. You are not responsible for their inconsistent, dysfunctional behavior.

A true connection is built on mutual respect, consistency and an eagerness to support the other person in fulfilling their needs and enhancing their well being…reciprocity…not causing them constant confusion and dysregulation of their nervous system.

Rather than romanticizing, or excusing their behavior, create a grounding anchor mantra where you speak the truth of their harmful behavior. This is your boundary and clarity statement — it keeps harmful energy out.

Your brain can’t hold both “he loves me” and “his behavior is harmful to my well being” in focus without blurring them. This separates them so you stop merging them into one person.

The minute you begin to replace the romanticizing with the TRUTH of their inconsistent and harmful behavior, you guide your brain back to the truth of the “relationship.”

Suggested Mantra: The man I loved exists only in moments. The man I must protect myself from is the one who always returns.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Get Ready – Redesigning a Blank Space – Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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Aging means change. And change is inevitable at every stage of life. The earlier we learn to “go with the flow,” the easier the adjustments become. Aging is fortuitous AND by design — it is the life experience unfolding.

We may begin to notice changes that require us to be flexible in accepting ourselves and others. Movement that once felt effortless may now call for extra rest and mindful recovery. Our minds might need more deliberate stimulation to maintain brain health and cognitive performance. Our bones and teeth often require more attentive care due to natural wear and tear, decreased bone density, and increased vulnerability to disease. Enamel thins, gums recede, and bone loss can occur, making teeth more sensitive and susceptible to decay. Age-related health conditions and medications can further complicate oral and skeletal health, making proactive care essential.

As we age, we may find ourselves single more often, spending much of our time “solo.” Rather than seeing this alone time as emptiness, we are invited to view it as a sacred space for re-discovery and exploration of self.

And yet, just like running against the wind, aging can feel like pushing through invisible resistance — a force that slows us down but also strengthens us if we meet it with grace. It invites us to dig deeper into our resilience, find new rhythms, and align with what matters most. Rather than resist the resistance, we can learn to lean into it — with wisdom, softness, a sense of humor, inner direction, and outer destinations that re-awaken our senses to the life experience.

As we age, relationships naturally evolve — especially with our adult children. We may no longer be needed in the same way, and that shift can feel both liberating and tender. There may be a grieving of what was, even as we honor what still is and what is yet to come. Likewise, our relationship with Spirit may deepen or be redefined, shaped by lived experience, questions, and quiet longings. Aging asks us to stay open — to new ways of connecting, listening, and loving, even when the form changes.

Loss often becomes a deeper part of life’s fabric as we age. We may grieve the death of a partner, a once-vibrant love, or the imagined future we never got to live. These griefs don’t disappear with time — they become sacred landmarks on the map of our becoming. And yet, even in the ache, we may find ourselves surprised by the stirrings of new affection, new companionship, or a new kind of love. The heart, seasoned but still tender, may quietly ask: Is it possible to open again? Aging doesn’t mean closing the chapter on love — it means learning to love with more presence, patience, and depth than ever before.

To age is to live in motion — not just outwardly, but within. It is the art of becoming softer and stronger all at once. Of meeting the changing terrain of body, mind, and heart not with fear, but with curiosity. It asks us to lean into the wind, to make peace with solitude, to laugh often, and to love bravely — even after loss. It calls us to stay rooted in our inner direction, while still seeking outer destinations that awaken wonder.

Aging is not the closing of a story. It is a deeper chapter — one rich with nuance, memory, humility, and growth. We are not fading; we are refining. And in that sacred refinement, we may just find a version of ourselves we’ve waited a lifetime to meet.

Mantra:

I embrace the gifts of my journey, honoring the wisdom and grace that come with each passing day.

Journaling Prompt:

Take a quiet moment to reflect on your journey through aging. Write about a specific experience, insight, or relationship that has grown richer or clearer with time. How has this shaped your understanding of yourself and your life? What feelings of gratitude arise as you honor this wisdom?

BOOK, Harmonious Health 4 Life

A Gentle Reminder of Self Care – Love, Wendy

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The holiday season is here, and I like to remind our community how important practicing self care is every day, and especially during the holiday season where we may feel triggers more easily when engaging with people and specific situations that we may not engage in during the rest of the year.

Prioritize your well being. No job or relationship is worth jeopardizing your wellness.

Purposefully create a safe, quiet space for healing. You will NEVER be able to heal in the midst of chaos or in the company of those who are infusing unhealthy behaviors into your space and causing you anxiety.

The thought that family bonds are “forever and unbreakable” sadly is a fallacy. ANY person who consistently infuses toxicity, drama and triggers anxiety into your space is NOT enriching your life and wellness.

Healthy relationships should enrich, not complicate your life into a spiral of confusion and despair.

Make peace (this takes time and should not be “set” to a timeframe) with the people and situations that are not serving you and discharge them from your life. If we don’t accept these realities and eliminate the emotional and toxic stressors from our lives, it WILL significantly hamper our recovery from the situation and keep us stuck in a dysfunctional mindset and relationship/job/situation.

Your only job in practicing self care is to re-visit your own expectations of self, create realistic, achievable goals, and to create a small action step to achieve that goal. Move forward slowly and strategically. Offer yourself as much time as needed to heal.

YOU ARE ALLOWED TO FEEL WHATEVER YOU FEEL FOR AS LONG AS YOU FEEL IT.

YOU are the one who is in charge of your thoughts, behaviors, relationships, happiness, and on the flip side, the unhealthy connections that exacerbate and fuel anxiety, sadness and can even manifest in physical symptoms of dis-ease.

There is NO quick fix.

Being in a hurry to “fix” it only fuels anxiety.

It is a daily process of reminding ourselves of how we want to feel, daily, and how we want to be received by others. What kind of environment do we want to create for ourselves and those we CHOOSE to allow into our space.? We need to ask ourselves, “What will bring me joy today? What do I need in this moment to feel peace? How do I need to love myself today?”

Inherently, we all know the answers to these questions.

The way in which we respond to these self reflection questions directly influences the reality that we create including the relationships and situations that we choose and allow into our space.

1. Speak your truth to yourself first. “To thine own self be true.”

2. Be selfish with your energy. CONSERVE your energy by not expending it in any negative connections through worry, anxiety, anger, etc.

3. Set healthy boundaries. Say “I love myself and my body. My boundaries will speak to others what I will and will NOT accept into my space and energy.”

4. Make a mindful decision to create a safe space for yourself whether at home, at work, or out enjoying fun times with others. Make a mindful decision to never engage in an energy that will drain your own energy.

5. Empower yourself through self care, self compassion and self preservation. This is the way that we empower and teach others.

For more on self care, read my book, Write Pray Recover: A Journey To Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care available on Amazon and online bookstores worldwide. Or click here: http://www.writeprayrecover.com

Wishing you a blessed and peaceful holiday season.

Love and blessings,

Wendy