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Progress? OR Pretend?:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

“The mind must be tested in situations where its quality can be revealed. Not by how many ideas you’ve absorbed, but by how you actually behave when tested. Not by what you understand intellectually, but by what you demonstrate practically. This is the measure that destroys most people’s self-assessment. Because by this standard, your progress isn’t measured by how much you’ve learned or how many insights you’ve had. It’s measured by whether you respond differently to situations that used to overwhelm you.

Do you still react with the same defensiveness when criticized? Do you still avoid the same uncomfortable conversations? Do you still make decisions from the same fears?

If the answer is yes, then whatever progress you’ve made exists only in theory. You’ve upgraded your understanding without upgrading your behavior, which is like downloading new software but never installing it. You walk around with all this potential transformation stored in your mind, never actually running it when situations demand it.”

by Stoic Wisdom

Interpretation by Wendy Blanchard:

Growth is not proven by what we understand, but by how we respond when tested.
Insight that doesn’t change behavior is only theory.
Real progress shows up when old fears no longer run our choices, when we stop avoiding hard conversations, and when we no longer sacrifice our wellbeing to be chosen.
Until behavior changes, the mind is only running in circles…full of potential, never applied.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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Merry Christmas Eve:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

In the very recent noise, confusion, and old heartbreak patterns, love arrived this Christmas Eve without demand, without fear, without strings. It just flows with grace and reciprocity…friendship, conversation, ease, and connection as it has for 8 years.

My bestie confirmed something my soul already knows:

I am loved as I am, not for what I can prove, fix, tolerate, or endure.
Not conditionally.
Not anxiously.
Not with disappearance looming behind it.

Just love. Spoken plainly. Offered freely. Backed by actions that bring safety, consistency, smiles, and peace to my nervous system.

“Happy Christmas Eve. I just called to tell you, you are loved…you are loved.”

This is such a contrast moment and contrast moments are sacred. They clarify truth without having to analyze anything. One voice brings dysregulation and doubt and heartbreak; the other brings calm, warmth, and feelings of connection.

Peace and blessings on this Christmas Eve.

Love,

Wendy

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When Love Returns:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

Awakening under a beautiful white blanket of snow, yet in the dark, and hours later as the light comes up, I understand the meaning of the paradox…

beauty can coexist with endings.

Reality bites and awakens the soul. The light returned when I no longer needed to search for it.
Now that the power is restored, I see…

And love returns.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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Faith is your Truth:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

Cognitive dissonance is the uncomfortable feeling you get when your heart and your mind know different things to be true at the same time.

The inner conflict means you’re outgrowing old patterns and becoming aligned with your values and your truth…which have now become non-negotiable.

Those truths don’t cancel each other out. They coexist…The difference now is that you finally stand in a place of peace with what is real.

And your faith…your spiritual knowing is its own kind of truth.

When God plants something in your spirit, it doesn’t go away. It anchors you, even when the physical world appears different.

Be still in a hurry…

Divine communication arrives tenderly…It is calm. It is peaceful.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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Firewall:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

Sometimes the person who flees the fire is blamed for the fire’s destruction.

But that does not make them the arsonist….

They were simply the one who pulled the alarm to save themselves from burning to the ground, while those around them had spent decades fanning the flames and ultimately chose their own slow, figurative death.

In the future, I stand protected by a firewall of discernment…one built from truth, boundaries, and self-worth.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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Holiday Grief and Gratitude:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

I know that I speak to many of you when I say that the holidays may bring up sadness and even grief that we have surpressed…

we miss a loved one…
we find ourselves longing for the life we once lived…
we may be spending the holidays alone for the first time…

Holidays amplify every tender place, especially when family fractures, losses, warm memories, and old joys coexist with the life you have today.

It is normal and even healthy to express grief and gratitude simultaneously. These are authentic emotions that can be felt, processed, and experienced together.

The grief reminds us of all of the love we were blessed to experience as we convey gratitude for the memories, and even for the new experiences and traditions that we have built around those memories in our new normal possibly on our own, and possibly with new additions to our inner circle.

All of us are doing our best to navigate the holidays with open hearts, remembering that love…is never lost.

Wishing you a heartfelt, peaceful and joyous holiday season.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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The Love of Your Life:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

The love of your life does not make you feel unsafe.

The love of your life does not abandon accountability.
The love of your life does not force you to shrink, ache, or “recover from them.”

The love of your life supports your wellness.
He nourishes your nervous system.
He protects the tenderness of your spirit.
He elevates your health, not harms it.
He makes you feel chosen, secure, steady…

He shows up.

Love,

Wendy

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Anchored:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

We can’t stop others from their own interpretation, but we never internalize their experience of who we are.

Their inaccuracies and limited understanding and beliefs of themselves project onto what they believe and what they think they observe.

Most importantly, it is their own lack of self worth and lived experiences, combined with fear of uncertainty that confines them to live with an illusion of “control and certainty.” 

They cling to narratives that offer them comfort, even if those narratives are distorted born from their own insecurities and fears.

These are merely reflections of their own inner world, not the heart and soul of who we are.

Love and blessings,

Wendy