Author: wendyblanchard044

If you attract a partner who is inauthentic time and time again, I suggest, when in doubt of a potential partner, don’t do anything.

I only trust God to bring me the right person in the future. It is so disappointing to me to learn that a man who I trusted just needed his ego fed, a compassionate ear to listen, and offered nothing in return. Thankfully it was never more than a close friendship, well, a one-way friendship.

Oh, the stories I could tell.

But, I won’t.

Recently, with my own eyes and ears, I observed this person doing, and saying the exact things to another woman that he did with me. And she bought in. She was gushing.

Poor woman.

Men like this seek out women who may be going through a difficult time and who needs love and attention. This was my case years ago. Once I become a strong, independent, self sufficient woman, he disconnected and only contacted me when he needed something. He was taking advantage of my good heart and generous spirit.

When in doubt, don’t. Of men or women.

I always listen to my gut, except that I didn’t.

Allow God to choose.

And you will feel the difference. God is love. He will bring you love.

At a certain age in the aging process, I realized that I have me, always and forever. I am all that I need along with my devoted, loving family and dearest friends.

Today, I am the happiest and the most peaceful I have ever been.

Just a little something extra for your Christmas stocking. Savor my words. It is a gift of experience.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

My daily spiritual practice begins each day in meditation, breathwork, and prayer. Our breath is our most accessible tool in real time to intervene with our physiology.

I use my fireplace and the beauty outside of my window to stimulate my spiritual sense and to connect to the Universe.

I use music to soothe my soul as I pray.

Then I listen for God’s response.

And, as I go forward throughout my day, I am always mindful of my words and of my actions that they may be in alignment with God’s will, with peace, and most of all, in alignment with love for every man, woman, child, animal, plant, living thing.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

If you are working with a therapist or coach to heal symptoms of any mental health disorder and they are using the buzz words of the month to further suppress your feelings because they are “old school,” and are not trained in SEL (social emotional learning) or TIA (Trauma Informed Approach), Motivational Interviewing, and the like, run to the nearest exit.

As therapists and coaches, we should be encouraging our clients to unpack their emotions and feelings, to talk through the trauma, albeit at their own pace, and then we need to teach them new tools and strategies to continue healing, and to embrace uncertainty and triggers as they move forward.

Sayings like, “This too shall pass, You are on your own journey, Everything happens for a reason,” that are meant to stifle us, are more than unhelpful and unhealthy…they are dismissing one’s right to feel, and can cause us to feel shame and guilt about our feelings.

Further, please refrain from using “labels.” We are not “damaged.” Our disorders DO NOT define us. We have lived experience that either traumatized us, or has caused us to live in a heightened state of fear and anxiety, but we CAN AND DO heal if we have the right guidance and spiritual support.

Be mindful of your language. It can be the loving support for one who needs empathy and compassion, or it can further deny one’s right to feel where they become even more fearful to speak their truth.

Be a part of their healing.

Allow them to speak their truth in a safe space without judgement. Simply meet them where they are and allow them to take the lead as you guide them with love.

Love,

Wendy

That gut feeling you have… It is God speaking to you.

Listen and see what He is showing you. Find strength in His love to do what is right and what is best for YOU.

If we don’t take heed, this circumstance will show up again and may cause us to become unwell.

Following Spirit’s guidance is the best STRESS reliever.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

I embrace my gorgeous heritage of Judaism with deep faith, as well as my new found connection to Christian culture. For me, there is One and the same God. He speaks to me through many channels of belief including Pastors, Rabbis, ordinary citizens, music, and even through my connection to my Guardian Angels.

The God I know is loving, faithful and devoted.

In my spiritual practices and beliefs, He encourages me to be one, and not to put one spiritual theory over another, but to embrace all of spirituality without biases and fear.

We are all loved by Him no matter which spiritual practice we adapt. As long as we live in faith and kindness offering love, and have the ability to receive love, I believe God approves.
In my case, I hear him guide me every single day to embrace all that heals me through abundant knowlege and information.

Separation ends when the heart and mind are open to all perspectives without judgement, and when we welcome God into our hearts and minds through the lens of love.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

People who experienced abuse in childhood often feel drawn to similar relationships in adulthood since the brain already recognizes the highs and lows of the cycle.

“A history of trauma can make it even harder to break trauma bonds, but you can learn to stop this cycle.

A trauma bond is when a person forms a deep emotional attachment with someone that causes them harm. It often develops from a repeated cycle of abuse and positive reinforcement. When this occurs between partners, this is a trauma-bonded relationship.

What are the signs of trauma bonding?

All people experience trauma differently. However, typical signs of trauma bonding include:

• denial of the other person’s fault
• justification of their actions
• increasing isolation from support structures
• increasing dependence on the partner

What are the 7 stages of trauma bonding?

Some people define trauma bonding in seven stages. There are:

• love bombing
• gaining trust and increasing dependency
• criticism and devaluation
• gaslighting
• submission and resignation
• loss of self and value
• emotional dependence

Abuse is never your fault. Neither is the development of a trauma bond.

It may take some time to regain a sense of self-worth and feel like you’ve finally broken free, but support from a trained professional can make all the difference.”

Go to www.harmonioushealth4life.com/contact to schedule a time to meet with me virtually or in person.

Although I have training (and lived experience) in Trauma Informed Approach, Trauma Informed Schools and Trauma Informed Yoga, I fell into a “Trauma Bond” relationship early in my recovery from prescription drug addiction. As much training as I have, once I was “bonded” I found it heartbreaking (used to emotional abuse as my compass) to leave. 

I now have nearly 11 years of sustained recovery where I support others in recovery from addiction and mental health disorders. 

Once I entered into a healthier relationship with myself, with God and with another, my “compass” pointed me in a whole new direction.

I am on a path towards deeper healing, a lifelong journey, and I am never alone on my journey, or in my work.

I know who I am. I love who I have become, and I only invest in a partner, a friend, family and acquaintances who invest in me.

We build equity. We are so excited about our future as we plan to move forward. And we stand right beside each other at all times where nothing and no one has the opportunity to break our “Divine bond.”

A trauma bond is built on unhealthy behaviors and abuse. It is cyclical. It can even be impacted by our hormones, specifically a dopamine surge during the time that the abusive partner/child/parent showers one with physical affection, gifts, etc.

A healthy relationship continues to move forward with unconditional love, devotion, joy, integrity, transparency, and mutual purpose, with God at the center of it all. 

A healthy relationship not only says, “I love you,” but aligns their words with loving behaviors where we never have to wonder what today will bring from an unpredictable, unwell partner.

If you would like one on one support and an opportunity to work with me to heal, sign up at www.harmonioushealth4life.com/contact. 

Love and blessings,

Wendy

If someone had only believed in me as I was growing up, encouraged me to reach my full potential, and loved me unconditionally, I could have followed my dream. I could have been someone that I chose to be.

Instead, I live the life that I was told to live because I wasn’t “good enough/intelligent enough/talented enough” to follow my passion and my dream.

I was told that I’d “never get an interview” because I wasn’t good enough. I got that interview. However, the constant degrading and abuse of my character and of my dreams were trampled upon, daily, and I became lost and despondent. Layers of abuse leading to decades of prescription drug addiction to mask the pain.

I exist in a life that is not by choice now as I am of a certain age and lost so many years in my addiction.

The silver lining is my 10 1/2 years of sustained sobriety, and the deep love of my family and other special people.

Now I give to my children what I did not get. I believe in their ability to achieve everything they dream of, and I encourage them to never give in, or give up.

I plant a seed and then step back and allow the seed to grow as they would like to grow their grit, their craft, and to shape their life, even as full grown adults, and I support them every step of the way.

Love,

Wendy