“Today in a moment of grace, I was reminded of the path of destruction that my former substance use disorder has left on another’s long and winding road…
I was also reminded that while I was deeply unwell, and feel deep remorse over the pain that I unintentionally inflicted, there are some that are unwilling and/or unable to forgive. And of course, I empathize with their feelings, and I respect their choices. I too was once a victim of these same circumstances.
The pain that one has experienced bears scars that are just too deep to heal without treatment. And, when one refuses to speak their own truth to express their suppressed emotions, to validate their emotions, and to allow themselves to be validated, to process, and to forgive, they themselves remain unwell.
Further, I am reminded that all of this is out of my control. I have done my part, over and over again. Perhaps the trauma is that knife still impaled into the soul.
I have used this day as an opportunity for reflection of my past life, and have also reflected on these past nine years of my wellness recovery from addiction. I will not live in a space of guilt and shame. There is no guilt and shame in being unwell. I offer myself fully in the present day, every day in complete wellness in sobriety.
I continue to command respect. I continue to remind myself that I never walk alone. I continue to pray for grace and healing for all.
Thy will be done.”
Love and blessings,