I have written in my book, Write Pray Recover: A Journey to Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care, that “Uncertainty tends to encourage us to stay where we feel safe.”
But when I examine this more closely… am I really safe?
In the quiet of my space, I know exactly what I “should” do. Why don’t I just take action? What is making me feel so restrictive in acting on knowledge that I know is the healthy, forward-thinking choice?
And here it is…
It is the story attached to the action.
Ending a toxic relationship means admitting judgment failure…holding space for it far too long and even returning to it after finding my resolve to exit. Having an honest and difficult conversation means facing my own suppressed truth and the conflict I avoided because conflict feels intolerable and instills a sense of loss—even when that loss is actually a gain to my health, my wellness, my peace, and my freedom.
The timing is never the “right time.” Especially when we’ve framed the relationship as a love story, or the job or career as security…even when that security was never truly safe.
Circumstances rarely change on their own. People do not change simply through conversation…change requires action, implemented consistently and often. It requires the willingness—and sometimes the eagerness—to create change that enhances your life and well-being.
There is a space…a crevice…between knowing and taking action. Simply “holding space” or waiting does not close that gap or change the truth. The only way to securely bridge it is the decision to act despite the restrictive feelings that inhibit a growth mindset…one that is forward-thinking and active.
We can continue to ask, “Am I really safe?” And the truth will either become gradually embodied—or gradually buried beneath inner dialogue and “justification” for inaction.
And regardless of our action…love may always remain…
That pause between knowing and acting is deeply uncomfortable. The uncertainty can be debilitating because it reveals agency in situations where feeling powerless is more comfortable. As unhealthy as this is within a fixed mindset, more often than not, it is the human condition.
As I also write in my book, “Self care is the actions that we take to achieve wellness, and wellness is where we stand in our power.”
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Write Pray Recover 