Tag: relationships

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

As Within…So Without:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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When I very recently learned that what he offered was never love, but attachment, I sat with it so that I could reconcile the truth…

And it is so painful…

I made the decision to say goodbye and to never give it further attention…

“As within…so without.”

The more you nurture your inner peace, strength, and clarity, the more your outer life will naturally align.

“As within, so without.”

By committing to your inner world, you don’t just move on…you radiate a new reality that reflects the freedom and authenticity you deserve.

I have connected the dots with total clarity: the “as within, so without” pattern in my life has been shaped by my inner beliefs formed in childhood and reinforced by my relationships. That awareness alone is huge…it is the first real step toward consciously reshaping my life.

Every partner that I have chosen reflected my prior inner story of feeling “not good enough,” unseen, and unworthy of love. The most recent relationship reinforced that “not good enough” and God brought him back as a final discernment, confirming that I have broken the pattern of choosing partners who speak love but lack the capacity to live it.

This new realization, however heartbreaking, means I can intentionally rewrite the inner story…and that will ripple outward into my relationships, choices, and experiences. No more choosing a broken soul who does not understand the meaning of love between a man and a woman, compromise and truth.

As within…so without…

Amen.

From a favorite song by Forest Blakk, I repeat…”Take it, when she gives you her heart, Don’t you break it, Let your arms be a place she feels safe in, She’s the best thing that you’ll ever have…She’ll love you if you love her like that.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Roadblocks to Love:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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People don’t connect the way they used to…or love the way they used to. Something has changed.

Relationships now feel like a complicated road map. Turn to the left and you’re met with a brick wall. Turn to the right and you’re on a one-way street. Try to turn back, and there are barriers blocking your way…

Roadblocks to love.

It’s as if we’ve all been caught in endless “traffic”…so much noise, so much exhaustion that we no longer have the energy for the commitment of a long lasting, winding journey of true intimacy. We take the quickest route, the shortest visit, the surface-level conversation that demands the least of us — where most people I meet seem to feel “safe.”

I see it in the “Good Morning, how are you?” that is mumbled as they never stop to make eye contact…not authentic…and the times when we are experiencing hardship, heartbreak, or pain and those “safe” in their own cocoon look the other way in order to avoid a conversation that could be uncomfortable. People have forgotten how to offer empathy.

But I remember another way. When I was growing up, and even when my children were growing up, we greeted each other with a kiss on the cheek, a hug, and a smile. Connection was natural, tactile, warm and animated. Today it’s barely a hug, sometimes just a tap where one barely leans in…a gesture that says, “Don’t get too close.”

What has happened to humanity? Have we become so afraid of intimacy that we keep love at arm’s length?

I believe we have. Fear has replaced trust. Self-protection has replaced presence. And yet…my heart still longs for the genuine embrace, the unhurried conversation, the love that lingers.

So I choose to keep loving the “old way.” To keep showing up fully. To keep offering a hug, a smile, and a heart wide open. Because even if the world has changed, my love, my compassion, my authenticity remains.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Foolish Games:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

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You can never build trust with someone who runs from accountability.
And…you can never grow with someone who sees boundaries as a personal attack.
They don’t reflect…they deflect.

They don’t communicate…they react rather than respond constructively.

Never allow what someone else brings the table be the only thing you have to eat.

And…strive to be respected, rather than to be liked.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

BOOK, Soul Notes, Write Pray Recover

Chasing to be Chosen – Love, Wendy

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Chasing to be chosen is a trauma response.
Your nervous system is running on an old program where you thought you had to earn someone’s love. You’re confusing inconsistency with connection. Sometimes, people idealize the other person or the potential of the relationship, overlooking the red flags of inconsistency.

“In some cases, inconsistent behavior can be a form of manipulation, where one person is keeping the other “on their toes” to maintain power and control.”

Take back your power. YOU are worthy in every moment without anyone else’s validation.

Familiar doesn’t mean healthy. It may feel like home when you haven’t felt anything different in relationships, including with your caregivers as a child. If it felt like chaos and dysfunction, that’s what “home“ feels like to you… this is your comfort zone…where you feel safe.

So when they pull away, it feels like you are “homeless.” And when they come back, even if it’s for a second, your “home” is actually a dopamine rush that settles your mind and nervous system only for a minute until they disappear..again…and they will.
It’s an addictive cycle of chaos…of control…certainly not love.

Set healthy boundaries to protect your overall wellness. You are not responsible for their inconsistent, dysfunctional behavior.

A true connection is built on mutual respect, consistency and an eagerness to support the other person in fulfilling their needs and enhancing their well being…reciprocity…not causing them constant confusion and dysregulation of their nervous system.

Rather than romanticizing, or excusing their behavior, create a grounding anchor mantra where you speak the truth of their harmful behavior. This is your boundary and clarity statement — it keeps harmful energy out.

Your brain can’t hold both “he loves me” and “his behavior is harmful to my well being” in focus without blurring them. This separates them so you stop merging them into one person.

The minute you begin to replace the romanticizing with the TRUTH of their inconsistent and harmful behavior, you guide your brain back to the truth of the “relationship.”

Suggested Mantra: The man I loved exists only in moments. The man I must protect myself from is the one who always returns.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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Loving You – Love, Wendy

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In a dreamy escape laced with nostalgia, I thought I could rekindle with you…

And then…

I saw you…really saw YOU. 

Not the you who you pretended to be, but your “truth.”

And I remember the heartbreak.

I remember the devaluation of me, the day you just disappeared, and the years of healing it took for me to recover from loving you.

I suppose I still feel the love, but my peace and serenity that I find through Spirit are invaluable to me now.

They are my anchor to loving myself as I continue to wait for the warm embrace of “true” love once again.

Always and Forever,

Wendy

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Facing His Truth – Love, Wendy

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When a man lacks self-worth and has lived a life of lies and deceit to cover his feelings of inadequacy, he aligns himself with those who are also liars and deceitful, and who use power to manipulate and control others because he feels more comfortable in an environment where deception is the norm.

The use of power in such circles is often a means to keep the truth buried, and to avoid exposure of their own weaknesses.

By aligning with them, he may feel momentarily empowered, as if the false narratives they weave can shield him from the discomfort of facing his own truths.

But this alliance also perpetuates his cycle of self-deception, as he becomes more entangled in a world built on illusions and manipulations, living mostly in a “virtual reality,” and further distancing him from the possibility of genuine self-acceptance, growth, and healthy relationships.

Love, Wendy