The deepest, darkest and most vulnerable piece is what you offer…and where you begin. The right person will hold that piece close to their heart…every piece that is you.
It is a sacred exchange of trust…when you open the deepest, most fragile part of yourself, it becomes the seed of genuine connection…
And love takes root.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Transparency offers a glimpse into another’s soul, revealing their courage…the sacred ground where intimacy is born.
In this space, we see each other clearly, fully, and with beautiful vulnerability…where love is free to grow…a Divine connection.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
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People don’t connect the way they used to…or love the way they used to. Something has changed.
Relationships now feel like a complicated road map. Turn to the left and you’re met with a brick wall. Turn to the right and you’re on a one-way street. Try to turn back, and there are barriers blocking your way…
Roadblocks to love.
It’s as if we’ve all been caught in endless “traffic”…so much noise, so much exhaustion that we no longer have the energy for the commitment of a long lasting, winding journey of true intimacy. We take the quickest route, the shortest visit, the surface-level conversation that demands the least of us — where most people I meet seem to feel “safe.”
I see it in the “Good Morning, how are you?” that is mumbled as they never stop to make eye contact…not authentic…and the times when we are experiencing hardship, heartbreak, or pain and those “safe” in their own cocoon look the other way in order to avoid a conversation that could be uncomfortable. People have forgotten how to offer empathy.
But I remember another way. When I was growing up, and even when my children were growing up, we greeted each other with a kiss on the cheek, a hug, and a smile. Connection was natural, tactile, warm and animated. Today it’s barely a hug, sometimes just a tap where one barely leans in…a gesture that says, “Don’t get too close.”
What has happened to humanity? Have we become so afraid of intimacy that we keep love at arm’s length?
I believe we have. Fear has replaced trust. Self-protection has replaced presence. And yet…my heart still longs for the genuine embrace, the unhurried conversation, the love that lingers.
So I choose to keep loving the “old way.” To keep showing up fully. To keep offering a hug, a smile, and a heart wide open. Because even if the world has changed, my love, my compassion, my authenticity remains.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
Chasing to be chosen is a trauma response.
Your nervous system is running on an old program where you thought you had to earn someone’s love. You’re confusing inconsistency with connection. Sometimes, people idealize the other person or the potential of the relationship, overlooking the red flags of inconsistency.
“In some cases, inconsistent behavior can be a form of manipulation, where one person is keeping the other “on their toes” to maintain power and control.”
Take back your power. YOU are worthy in every moment without anyone else’s validation.
Familiar doesn’t mean healthy. It may feel like home when you haven’t felt anything different in relationships, including with your caregivers as a child. If it felt like chaos and dysfunction, that’s what “home“ feels like to you… this is your comfort zone…where you feel safe.
So when they pull away, it feels like you are “homeless.” And when they come back, even if it’s for a second, your “home” is actually a dopamine rush that settles your mind and nervous system only for a minute until they disappear..again…and they will.
It’s an addictive cycle of chaos…of control…certainly not love.
Set healthy boundaries to protect your overall wellness. You are not responsible for their inconsistent, dysfunctional behavior.
A true connection is built on mutual respect, consistency and an eagerness to support the other person in fulfilling their needs and enhancing their well being…reciprocity…not causing them constant confusion and dysregulation of their nervous system.
Rather than romanticizing, or excusing their behavior, create a grounding anchor mantra where you speak the truth of their harmful behavior. This is your boundary and clarity statement — it keeps harmful energy out.
Your brain can’t hold both “he loves me” and “his behavior is harmful to my well being” in focus without blurring them. This separates them so you stop merging them into one person.
The minute you begin to replace the romanticizing with the TRUTH of their inconsistent and harmful behavior, you guide your brain back to the truth of the “relationship.”
Suggested Mantra: The man I loved exists only in moments. The man I must protect myself from is the one who always returns.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
We keep dancing…
You and I…
THIS is US.
Love,
Wendy
Sometimes, the Universe keeps putting people on our path not to show us what we lack, but to reveal how much we’ve grown. I am being called to refine my discernment—to notice, even sooner, who is capable of meeting me fully, and who is still orbiting their own unhealed places. It is empowering…I am no longer chasing love. I am curating my inner circle with care.
The Universe shows me over and over, that the love I am seeking will have to match the depth, the softness, and the strength which I have cultivated in myself. When we raise the bar, the right people rise to meet us there. We strive for absolute balance as we aim to reach the bar on each glorious day.
With clear eyes, I’m learning to stay open to love…even in the face of uncertainty.
Spirit is my teacher.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
When we’re not used to being loved in a healthy, safe, and steady way, it can actually feel threatening at first. Our nervous system may interpret it as unfamiliar, even unsafe, because it disrupts patterns we’ve long used to protect ourselves…patterns born from trauma, neglect, or rejection. So when love finally shows up, it can stir up confusion, fear, or even a need to retreat.
In that retreat, that quiet space the Universe (or God) offers, we’re given a sacred pause…a moment to look inward. That space isn’t punishment or absence. It’s an invitation to:
That pause, that distance, can be divine timing—meant for healing, not for punishment.
True story…
Love,
Wendy
Thank you for trusting me with your personal stories yesterday and last night.
Wow.
There is so much truth to the fact that we ALL have a story, and that when we share our stories, it allows us to feel supported, and to support others who are experiencing challenges, adversity and heartbreak.
Please know that suffering does not discriminate. However, as we come together and we share our experiences, and we pray for each other, we build a loving community, a spiritual community, where we also build resilience. And the more we practice resilience through healthy practices, daily, the stronger we become…the more resilient we become.
We adapt and navigate with mindful determination through the stress, we continue to be productive, go to work, enjoy our family and friends, love, laugh, cry, all together, knowing we are not alone. One day at a time. One hour at a time. One moment at a time.
I shared my personal story of my own 13 year recovery from substance use disorder as well as my daughter’s ongoing battle with this life threatening disease. You reached out privately to share your similar story and experience. And so many of you told me you had not shared before. To unpack that build up of burden is a relief to our physical and mental health.
What I have learned over the years in working in this field, and having the lived experience is that we NEED each other, and we experience comfort when we feel a part of a loving community. And we all deserve to live in peace and wellness, no matter our circumstances.
WE are not alone when we speak our truth and ask for what we need. And inherently, we know what we need to feel better. It will look different for everyone, and will change over time with our circumstances.
Love, kindness, support, prayer. COMMUNITY.
KEEP SHARING.
KEEP PRAYING.
Find whatever healthy practice provides you with wellness and peace, and take time for your self care every day.
You have the right to live your life in peace, joy, and wellness.
You can read my entire story in my book Write Pray Recover:A Journey To Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care on Amazon and online bookstores worldwide. https://a.co/d/iUCD8NW
Thank you.
Love and blessings,
Wendy ❤️
God cannot save everyone.
Even through constant prayer, I have seen for years that one I love has reached the point of no return. Angry. Judgemental. Unyielding. Unforgiving. Brainwashed by the masses.
This often takes place in the psyche of one who lacks self worth, self esteem, self regulation and awareness, and cannot regulate their emotions when it comes to social awareness. And it is prevalent in relationships where this “lack of” takes the form of toxicity that breeds chronic uncertainty and fear, that which becomes unsustainable.
This often takes place where a soul does not “know God.”
I know that God offers us options. He loves us unconditionally. He opens doors that lead to healthy choices, healing and redemption. Doors that lead to love, and a life filled with peace, joy and connection. A life where we have the opportunity to be connected, protected and guided by our loving God.
And in some cases, as I have said many times, “You can only lead the horse to the water.”
I prayed for him for years. I wanted to believe he was the man he pretended, or even wanted to be, only to be shown, by our loving God, the truth…day after day, year after year.
I still pray for her because I believe she is at a crossroads and about to turn the corner. I love my daughter deeply and I believe she will walk through an open door invitation before it is too late. #sheismydaughter
There is so much truth in the saying, “God helps those who help themselves.”
After all, look at me. Getting ready to enter my 12th year of recovery from addiction. I crawled through the door very near to my death, where God helped me up, and showed me the way, and I never looked back.
“There before the grace of God go I.”
God cannot save all of his children, but he always loves them just the same.
I will always love you just the same.
Love,
Wendy
We’ve got to do better.
We’ve got to take notice of those we engage with, but really stop to ask, “How are you doing?” And it is NOT okay to allow someone else to walk into the conversation and begin a new conversation in the middle of a “check in.” And when we ask another how they are doing, we must be ready and willing to hear an authentic response. If you are just giving a nod of “I see you standing there, how are you?” and you don’t want to actually hear a response, just say “good morning,” and keep moving. Seriously.
We’ve got to do better.
I encounter this daily. Jarring. And if one allows this interruption of a “check in,” especially when they are aware of another’s circumstances, cross them off of your list as a “caring friend/acquaintance/colleague.” If they never ask, “How are you?” in the midst of a challenging time, it speaks volumes about them and their capacity to comfort and to support others. Yet, I witness these same people “vomiting” out all of their woes and expecting one’s undivided attention.
We’ve got to do better.
When I observe others who claim friendship, I assess if that definition aligns with what I believe friendship to be, and what I need in a friend. Reciprocity. Consistency. Empathy. Kindness. “Time sensitive.” Joy. Love. Willing to share.
Giving of one’s time with eye contact, and a touch on the hand or hug can make one’s day. It costs us nothing, but if we feel the price is too high and we are too “busy” in our own head and circumstances, and there is no follow up, you are not a friend.
Friendship is linear. It doesn’t come in waves and only on the upswing.
We’ve got to do better.
And even when we see a stranger pass us by on our daily walk looking down at the ground very obviously in pain, we need to offer a smile. Oh, the smile is so contagious. It has helped me on a number of occasions. And I always reciprocate all that I am given. And give to one in pain when they cannot offer us anything. It is a basic need of the human condition. If you’ve got it, give it away.
One who professes to love us does not allow months to go by without checking in. You cannot “offer a good deed…one and done,” and then fly off of the radar for no apparent reason. We see you living your best life, and yet, not one minute to send a text or an hour to visit to do a friends “check-in.” It negates the “one and done “Good deed.”
Good deed? Not so much. Not from a place of love. This is from a place of “let me boast all over social media what I am doing (one and done) to further fuel my ego. But those of us on the “receiving end” of that “deed” sit awestruck and dumbfounded at one’s need to “be loved and recognized” as a hero.
Not so much. Ego. Ego. Ego.
We’ve got to do better.
So starting today, let us do better. Either engage with meaning, purpose, and friendship, or simply walk on by. It can be an insult to one’s intelligence and feelings to enter into a “drive-by” friendship. Stay in your own lane, or join me on the journey.
We have GOT to do better.
Love,
Wendy
Write Pray Recover 