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Progress? OR Pretend?:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

“The mind must be tested in situations where its quality can be revealed. Not by how many ideas you’ve absorbed, but by how you actually behave when tested. Not by what you understand intellectually, but by what you demonstrate practically. This is the measure that destroys most people’s self-assessment. Because by this standard, your progress isn’t measured by how much you’ve learned or how many insights you’ve had. It’s measured by whether you respond differently to situations that used to overwhelm you.

Do you still react with the same defensiveness when criticized? Do you still avoid the same uncomfortable conversations? Do you still make decisions from the same fears?

If the answer is yes, then whatever progress you’ve made exists only in theory. You’ve upgraded your understanding without upgrading your behavior, which is like downloading new software but never installing it. You walk around with all this potential transformation stored in your mind, never actually running it when situations demand it.”

by Stoic Wisdom

Interpretation by Wendy Blanchard:

Growth is not proven by what we understand, but by how we respond when tested.
Insight that doesn’t change behavior is only theory.
Real progress shows up when old fears no longer run our choices, when we stop avoiding hard conversations, and when we no longer sacrifice our wellbeing to be chosen.
Until behavior changes, the mind is only running in circles…full of potential, never applied.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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Merry Christmas Eve:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

In the very recent noise, confusion, and old heartbreak patterns, love arrived this Christmas Eve without demand, without fear, without strings. It just flows with grace and reciprocity…friendship, conversation, ease, and connection as it has for 8 years.

My bestie confirmed something my soul already knows:

I am loved as I am, not for what I can prove, fix, tolerate, or endure.
Not conditionally.
Not anxiously.
Not with disappearance looming behind it.

Just love. Spoken plainly. Offered freely. Backed by actions that bring safety, consistency, smiles, and peace to my nervous system.

“Happy Christmas Eve. I just called to tell you, you are loved…you are loved.”

This is such a contrast moment and contrast moments are sacred. They clarify truth without having to analyze anything. One voice brings dysregulation and doubt and heartbreak; the other brings calm, warmth, and feelings of connection.

Peace and blessings on this Christmas Eve.

Love,

Wendy

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As Within…So Without:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

When I very recently learned that what he offered was never love, but attachment, I sat with it so that I could reconcile the truth…

And it is so painful…

I made the decision to say goodbye and to never give it further attention…

“As within…so without.”

The more you nurture your inner peace, strength, and clarity, the more your outer life will naturally align.

“As within, so without.”

By committing to your inner world, you don’t just move on…you radiate a new reality that reflects the freedom and authenticity you deserve.

I have connected the dots with total clarity: the “as within, so without” pattern in my life has been shaped by my inner beliefs formed in childhood and reinforced by my relationships. That awareness alone is huge…it is the first real step toward consciously reshaping my life.

Every partner that I have chosen reflected my prior inner story of feeling “not good enough,” unseen, and unworthy of love. The most recent relationship reinforced that “not good enough” and God brought him back as a final discernment, confirming that I have broken the pattern of choosing partners who speak love but lack the capacity to live it.

This new realization, however heartbreaking, means I can intentionally rewrite the inner story…and that will ripple outward into my relationships, choices, and experiences. No more choosing a broken soul who does not understand the meaning of love between a man and a woman, compromise and truth.

As within…so without…

Amen.

From a favorite song by Forest Blakk, I repeat…”Take it, when she gives you her heart, Don’t you break it, Let your arms be a place she feels safe in, She’s the best thing that you’ll ever have…She’ll love you if you love her like that.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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When Love Returns:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

Awakening under a beautiful white blanket of snow, yet in the dark, and hours later as the light comes up, I understand the meaning of the paradox…

beauty can coexist with endings.

Reality bites and awakens the soul. The light returned when I no longer needed to search for it.
Now that the power is restored, I see…

And love returns.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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Infinite Love:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

If God wants something to be your destiny,
He will make it effortless and safe.
Not chaotic and traumatizing.

He will not give you a partner who destabilizes you.
He will not give you a relationship where you lose yourself.
He will not give you a man whose emotional foundation is sand.

What God allowed was clarity so that I could have my closure.
What God removed was confusion and instability.
What God protected was my future.

And the very next day…God showed me why.

Upon my surrender…I felt an immediate shift. In the space I created by letting go, life brought in an unexpected new connection…one that reminded me that goodness, presence, and kindness still exist right where I am. The moment I released what was hurting me, the Universe aligned and stepped in to steady me. God has a way of filling the space we free up, almost before we even realize we’ve made it.

Amen…

I’m learning that when we stop clinging to what breaks us, we make room for what supports us. And sometimes the peace we’ve been praying for arrives in the most surprising, gentle ways…softly…gingerly…and with steady devotion…
in real time.

God constantly sets boundaries, redirects people, closes doors, and removes people from situations that harm them.

Infinite love does not mean infinite access.

Love,

Wendy

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The Window Is Open:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

You know the saying, “When God closes a door, he opens a window?”…

Well…Amen.

This past week has been so chaotic and confusing and stressful, and I was shown why certain people just come into our lives to teach us lessons…sometimes over and over until God sees that we have learned, and that we are ready to make space for something we NEVER, EVER expected

And then…God opens the window…

a breath of fresh air…

ready, willing and able.

I am appreciated, seen, and met with the same sincerity I offer.

It’s amazing how, when we finally release what was hurting us, God wastes no time reminding us of our worth.

A new light comes in…quietly and gently showing us that peace, respect, and mutual effort were always part of the plan.

When God opens the window, He doesn’t just let in air…
He lets in clarity, healing, and the grace of being valued in ways we once only prayed for.

To be continued!

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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Faith is your Truth:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

Cognitive dissonance is the uncomfortable feeling you get when your heart and your mind know different things to be true at the same time.

The inner conflict means you’re outgrowing old patterns and becoming aligned with your values and your truth…which have now become non-negotiable.

Those truths don’t cancel each other out. They coexist…The difference now is that you finally stand in a place of peace with what is real.

And your faith…your spiritual knowing is its own kind of truth.

When God plants something in your spirit, it doesn’t go away. It anchors you, even when the physical world appears different.

Be still in a hurry…

Divine communication arrives tenderly…It is calm. It is peaceful.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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“In The Arena” – Love, Wendy

Yesterday, a dear friend and I were talking about the Theodore Roosevelt “The Man In The Arena” quote in conjunction with Brené Brown’s “Daring Greatly“ quote based on “The Man In The Arena”.

He asked me if I’d like to know what he thought about my being “In The Arena”, which had never occurred to me at all. A few hours later…he wrote it down…(Yes, he too, is a writer.)

He blew me away with this response. I sobbed. I processed. I reflected…

Sometimes, we don’t see ourselves as others do, and when someone on the outside hands us the gift of a mirror…we may finally “see” the reflection…and begin to believe in ourselves again…

“There is a certain kind of courage that doesn’t roar-it simply keeps showing up.

It walks into classrooms when pain is loud and patience is thin. It sits at the doctor’s office asking hard questions about what is best for the body it has learned to honor rather than battle. It writes words of healing into books that reach others who are still trying to believe they are not broken.

That courage belongs to those in the arena-faces marred by dust and tears, hearts tender but unyielding.

Brené Brown reminds us that it’s not the critic who counts. It’s the one who steps forward again and again, daring greatly in the small, holy moments of everyday life.

You, Wendy, live this truth.
You have dared greatly by reclaiming your life from addiction, by walking away from what no longer served your peace, and by staying open to love even after heartbreak. You continue to rise-not perfectly, but bravely.

The arena is where healing happens. It’s where faith is tested, integrity is refined, and purpose is reborn. And while the cheap seats may always hum with opinions, you know better now-that the only voices that matter are the ones that speak love, truth, and divine guidance.”

You are in the arena.
And you are daring greatly.”

He wrote further…

You are the woman in the arena-not just surviving, but living truthfully, even when it costs you comfort. You keep showing up with your heart open, your faith intact, and your light still burning, no matter how many times life has tried to dim it. That’s not only brave-it’s sacred.

Your journey-recovery, teaching, self-advocacy, forgiveness, love-is the living embodiment of what Brené meant by “daring greatly.” You’ve faced pain and uncertainty without losing compassion. You’ve turned suffering into service, and fear into devotion.

So, yes, Wendy. That’s what I see in you every day:
A woman who keeps getting back up.
A heart that loves anyway.
A soul that refuses to abandon itself.”

So, moving forward…

I honor my courage to keep showing up. I honor my boundaries. I trust my intuition. I am present. I am safe…

And I will remain in the arena, daring greatly, for myself and for those around me who need a reminder that gentle strength and an open heart can change everything.

I trust that my scars tell the story of a woman who chose love over fear, faith over doubt, and presence over perfection.

I am “in the arena” and “daring greatly”, simply by being true to myself. I’ve learned that true strength is not about appearing unbreakable, but about standing in truth and love while still feeling everything.

Thank you to my dearest earth Angel for this beautiful gift.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

This is the original quote that inspired Brené Brown’s quote, from Theodore Roosevelt’s 1910 speech “Citizenship in a Republic,” often called “The Man in the Arena” passage:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;
who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming;
but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions;
who spends himself in a worthy cause;
who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement,
and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly,
so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Daring Greatly, inspired by Roosevelt’s words:

“If you’re not in the arena getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback. There are a million cheap seats in the world today filled with people who will never once step foot in that arena. They will never once dare greatly, but they’ll make it their life’s work to hurl criticism and judgment at those of us who do.”
— Brené Brown, Daring Greatly

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In The Living Years:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

Recently, I passed through my beloved hometown where I once lived with my ex-husband and children. Driving through those streets where my whole heart once lived wasn’t just a trip home…it was a pilgrimage through the layers of my life.

Every corner holds echoes of love, family, laughter, and loss. I ached, I sobbed, and I reflected as I touched sacred ground…my own history…and my body responded with the only truth it knows: grief still lives here.

It’s been thirteen years…yet thirteen years or a lifetime…grief doesn’t measure time. It measures love. And I loved deeply…my children, my home, even the life that no longer fits.

When we revisit those memories, our nervous system relives them too. Research shows that this kind of emotional flood can trigger a Lupus flare. The immune system listens to the heart more than most people realize.

I believe my body was literally trying to expel what’s too heavy to carry anymore. With this soul-deep visit to my hometown, layered atop everyday stressors, I reached my limit.

After you’ve carried so much strength for so long…this was my body finally saying, “I can put it down for a while.”

So today, I implemented a pause point…no analyzing, no pushing through…just allowing the waves to move as I reminded myself:
“My tears are cathartic. My rest is recovery. My peace is returning.”

I remind myself, as I so often remind my children, friends, and clients:
“You are allowed to feel what you feel for as long as you feel it. There are no time constraints. Just don’t stay there for too long by yourself.”

Ask someone to keep you company as you pause, as you process, and as you find your way back to the present…

Love and blessings,

Wendy

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Growing Forward:Soul Notes – Love, Wendy

Growth isn’t about age…it’s about courage, faith, and the willingness to begin again.

Starting over in midlife doesn’t mean limitations or age restrictions whether in a relationship or a career.

It means we’re given the opportunity to choose again after earlier chapters, relationships, and career paths have reached their natural end.

This time, we choose with a stronger sense of self, and with the wisdom that only lived experience can bring. We choose what aligns with our deepest desires, what stirs joy, and…perhaps for the first time…what honors our own agency and autonomy.

Reframe starting over as an invitation: a season of growth, renewal, and fulfillment through the lens of enthusiasm and a growth mindset.

And above all, practice daily self-care to nurture your strength, your peace, and your longevity.

Note to self, “Continue forward…always evolving, always becoming…unafraid, unapologetically and with grace.”

Love and blessings,

Wendy