I have a son. I am not available to raise another adult who has not finished growing up.
Many men are deeply uncomfortable when they are not desired or made the center of a woman’s universe.
Instead of curiosity or self-reflection, they resort to self righteousness…dismissal, minimization, or narrative control. I have witnessed this pattern repeatedly, across dozens of interactions.
Emotional immaturity.
I would rather live alone, never lonely or offering “child care” to a “grown man” than participate in a dynamic where emotional underdevelopment is normalized and accountability is optional.
This is not an isolated experience—it is cultural.
Research and lived experience consistently show that many men are not socialized to develop emotional intelligence. Vulnerability is discouraged. Emotional fluency is replaced with defensiveness. Discomfort is avoided rather than examined. When a woman names a boundary or expresses a lack of connection, the response is too often dismissal designed to protect fragile self-worth rather than mutual respect.
Emotionally mature women are increasingly choosing solitude not because we fear intimacy, but because we understand it. We have done the inner work. We know what emotional presence feels like. We recognize when connection requires us to shrink, explain, or absorb someone else’s unexamined ego.
HELL NO…
When companionship comes at the cost of self-abandonment, solitude becomes the healthier, more desired choice.
Being alone through discernment is the ultimate self care.
It is self-respect.
It is a refusal to mother a man who is unwilling to become an adult.
Many of us lived through literal brokenness, abuse, neglect, financial shortfall, emotional bankruptcy and physical depletion due to a connection to one who drained our energy…body, mind and spirit…
And today, we live in presence, self-preservation, and the joy we cultivate as emotionally savvy souls, with a full plate of delights to share…
if and when aligned.
Love and blessings,
Wendy
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