A Journey To Wellness Though Spiritual Solutions And Self Care
Author: wendyblanchard044
Author, Mental Health and Wellness Educator, Board Certified Peer Specialist in mental health and substance use disorder, Integrative Nutrition Health Coach
I am not here for you to step on as the foundation of who you pretended to be. I once told you…I am not your relationship tutor. If you didn’t have the capacity to love me the way I deserve, you should have stepped aside.
And yet… here you are, still in my orbit, years later.
I am here for reciprocity. For unconditional love I can feel, even when I’m alone… not unrequited love that lives only in your empty words, never in your behavior.
Your attention-seeking now that I’ve moved on is exhausting. It is disrespectful.
You would not recognize this version of me. And for that, I thank you.
Because you forced me inward…to seek truth, to build love from within, to meet a new relationship from a whole and healthy place.
I am the one who got away— because you never had the courage to connect with yourself, let alone with me.
Find your self-respect. Move forward. Be well.
Closing Mantra I release the need for closure from anyone but myself. I do not grieve who they were—I honor who I’ve become. I am no longer available for half-love, false hope, or emotional residue. I walk forward in truth, in dignity, and in devotion to my peace. I trust that love, when it’s real, will never require me to abandon myself. Each time I begin to abandon my beautiful self, God whispers, “It’s okay to peek at the past with fondness—just don’t romanticize the poetry. After all, it’s just another line on an empty page.”
Sometimes, the Universe keeps putting people on our path not to show us what we lack, but to reveal how much we’ve grown. I am being called to refine my discernment—to notice, even sooner, who is capable of meeting me fully, and who is still orbiting their own unhealed places. It is empowering…I am no longer chasing love. I am curating my inner circle with care.
The Universe shows me over and over, that the love I am seeking will have to match the depth, the softness, and the strength which I have cultivated in myself. When we raise the bar, the right people rise to meet us there. We strive for absolute balance as we aim to reach the bar on each glorious day.
With clear eyes, I’m learning to stay open to love…even in the face of uncertainty.
I’ve lived through storms that could have swallowed me. I’ve known love that vanished without warning, and words that were louder than actions.
I carry a story shaped by fire, and still—I choose to speak gently, to hope bravely, to open my heart with discernment, not fear.
If someone is drawn to my light but disappears when it flickers with truth— that’s not my failure. That’s their unfamiliarity with real strength… and a reflection of their lack of readiness.
One’s silence is not a reflection of my worth, my story, or my strength. My past is not a liability—it’s a testament to my power. Anyone who doesn’t see the resilience, courage, and transformation in my story is simply not ready for a woman who’s done the hard work to rise.
Sometimes people are moved by intensity in the moment, but when it comes time to actually step into something real—with complexity, depth, and vulnerability—they retreat. Not because you were too open, but because they weren’t ready for the kind of truth and intimacy that requires.
I will continue to live out loud…not just to live in my truth… but to hold the space for others who need an example of “to thine own self be true.”
This isn’t just about me. It’s about the sacred ripple of authenticity… how one voice saying “this is who I am” gives permission for another to whisper, “me too.”
Ask yourself, “Where are you holding back in speaking your truth for fear of being ghosted? What would you tell a dear friend in this same situation if they wanted to hide their scars that revealed their own fight to live? Whose silence might your truth help to break?”
To be an advocate for others…we must always share our own story to stand in our truth. This is the space where we stand in our power.
When we’re not used to being loved in a healthy, safe, and steady way, it can actually feel threatening at first. Our nervous system may interpret it as unfamiliar, even unsafe, because it disrupts patterns we’ve long used to protect ourselves…patterns born from trauma, neglect, or rejection. So when love finally shows up, it can stir up confusion, fear, or even a need to retreat.
In that retreat, that quiet space the Universe (or God) offers, we’re given a sacred pause…a moment to look inward. That space isn’t punishment or absence. It’s an invitation to:
Notice what’s coming up (fear of abandonment, unworthiness, distrust, etc.)
Get curious instead of reactive.
Ask ourselves: What part of me still believes I don’t deserve this? What am I afraid will happen if I fully receive this love?
That pause, that distance, can be divine timing—meant for healing, not for punishment.
The difference between becoming overcome by our challenges and adversity, and rising above them, often comes down to one thing…
Resilience.
It is a skill that we build when we have ongoing opportunities to build resilience as we experience repeated challenge and adversity.
When we choose to step right into the storm…
we stretch, we grow, we rise.
Eventually, in most instances, we are able to “reframe” our pain so that we see the sunlight in the rain.
We learn that both can exist…and that we can still bloom…even in the rain.
Ask yourself, “What challenge in my life helped me grow resilience, even if I didn’t recognize it at the time?”
Think of a time when you felt overwhelmed by adversity. How did you respond in that moment…did you “respond,” or REACT? How did that experience shape the way you show up in your life today? In what ways did you demonstrate resilience, even if you didn’t feel strong at the time?
I write when I feel sad or when I see an injustice.
I write to connect with the reader who feels that nobody could possibly understand.
Writing allows me to freely express my feelings and emotions which are cemented in my soul…a “frozen kiss” where a “moment of intense emotion is captured and preserved,” and where the warmth of feeling is paused in time, etched into the page…
Your need for rest, your healing body, your pain…none of these make you unworthy of love.
They make you human. They make you someone who knows how to take care of herself, who listens to her body, who has fought to stay alive and thrive, even after being told not to. That’s incredible.
The man who deserves you will see your resting as wisdom, not weakness. He will see your scars as proof of your courage, not as flaws. And he will be honored…truly honored to walk beside someone who has survived so much with such grace and still chooses love.
We all have feelings and emotions. Some days they may stop us in our steps and say, “Hello, I need to be acknowledged!” Sometimes this may be a delayed trauma response, or it may be a culmination of chronic stressors where we feel overwhelmed.
Give your feelings a voice. Honor your emotions.
“STOP. PAUSE. EMOTE. ALLOW. REST. – S.P.E.A.R.“
S.P.E.A.R. and S.W.I.M. Into Wellness! (You can read about this in my book, Write Pray Recover:A Journey To Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care https://a.co/d/a8lzF4O
When you feel triggered, or you feel your symptoms escalating…S.P.E.A.R.
This is a non-linear recovery plan that is specific to your health and wellness goals.
STOP where you are.
PAUSE TO BE PRESENT. PATIENTLY PROCESS. Take one slow deep breath through your nose, and exhale slowly through your mouth.
Repeat three times. Your breath is your most accessible tool to intervene with your physiology in real time. Focus on your breath to align with the present moment.
EMOTE safely anything that you are feeling. You are allowed to feel whatever you feel!
Try the Alternate Nostril Breathing below to self soothe as you release your feelings/emotions.
Allow yourself to feel, and take whatever time you need. Practice extra self care.
ACCEPT your emotions and feelings. Take as long as you need to practice acceptance and validate what you are feeling in a safe space without self judgement. Acceptance promotes peace.
REST and RE-ALIGN, and allow yourself time to process. Hydrate!
Write about it! Take your time with this step. Then, RE-FRAME using a healthy mindset and being open to new perspectives to re-frame the experience as you move forward. Ask yourself, “In moving forward, how can I use my self awareness of this trigger/ stressor in conjunction with my self regulation skills in order to navigate constructively? (Daily self care to stay ahead of the stressor? Take a “time out?” Etc.)
For those who mean well by telling you to “Focus on your blessings! Be positive,” give yourself permission and power to realize when others do not know how to support us appropriately, and do not have the skill, or the experience and words that we may need at the time, and know that they mean well. And, some may be uncomfortable observing as we experience emotions and feelings because it may force them to go within where they may be suppressing their own feelings and emotions that also need validation.
We ALL have mental health.
When we are feeling mentally unwell, we do not need to “focus on our blessings and all the positives in our lives.“ What we need is a safe space, and the time, however long that is for us, to experience the experience.
S.P.E.A.R. yourself into the experience. Ask for support if you feel you need support. This begins the healing process.
Whatever healthy practices you need to heal, do it…and take your time.”
To read more about my S.P.E.A.R. and S.W.I.M. Into Wellness component of my “Integrative Approach to Wellness” program, read my book, Write Pray Recover:A Journey To Wellness Through Spiritual Solutions and Self Care.https://a.co/d/a8lzF4O
Write Pray Recover 