Month: October 2023

If you are working with a therapist or coach to heal symptoms of any mental health disorder and they are using the buzz words of the month to further suppress your feelings because they are “old school,” and are not trained in SEL (social emotional learning) or TIA (Trauma Informed Approach), Motivational Interviewing, and the like, run to the nearest exit.

As therapists and coaches, we should be encouraging our clients to unpack their emotions and feelings, to talk through the trauma, albeit at their own pace, and then we need to teach them new tools and strategies to continue healing, and to embrace uncertainty and triggers as they move forward.

Sayings like, “This too shall pass, You are on your own journey, Everything happens for a reason,” that are meant to stifle us, are more than unhelpful and unhealthy…they are dismissing one’s right to feel, and can cause us to feel shame and guilt about our feelings.

Further, please refrain from using “labels.” We are not “damaged.” Our disorders DO NOT define us. We have lived experience that either traumatized us, or has caused us to live in a heightened state of fear and anxiety, but we CAN AND DO heal if we have the right guidance and spiritual support.

Be mindful of your language. It can be the loving support for one who needs empathy and compassion, or it can further deny one’s right to feel where they become even more fearful to speak their truth.

Be a part of their healing.

Allow them to speak their truth in a safe space without judgement. Simply meet them where they are and allow them to take the lead as you guide them with love.

Love,

Wendy

That gut feeling you have… It is God speaking to you.

Listen and see what He is showing you. Find strength in His love to do what is right and what is best for YOU.

If we don’t take heed, this circumstance will show up again and may cause us to become unwell.

Following Spirit’s guidance is the best STRESS reliever.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

I embrace my gorgeous heritage of Judaism with deep faith, as well as my new found connection to Christian culture. For me, there is One and the same God. He speaks to me through many channels of belief including Pastors, Rabbis, ordinary citizens, music, and even through my connection to my Guardian Angels.

The God I know is loving, faithful and devoted.

In my spiritual practices and beliefs, He encourages me to be one, and not to put one spiritual theory over another, but to embrace all of spirituality without biases and fear.

We are all loved by Him no matter which spiritual practice we adapt. As long as we live in faith and kindness offering love, and have the ability to receive love, I believe God approves.
In my case, I hear him guide me every single day to embrace all that heals me through abundant knowlege and information.

Separation ends when the heart and mind are open to all perspectives without judgement, and when we welcome God into our hearts and minds through the lens of love.

Love and blessings,

Wendy

People who experienced abuse in childhood often feel drawn to similar relationships in adulthood since the brain already recognizes the highs and lows of the cycle.

“A history of trauma can make it even harder to break trauma bonds, but you can learn to stop this cycle.

A trauma bond is when a person forms a deep emotional attachment with someone that causes them harm. It often develops from a repeated cycle of abuse and positive reinforcement. When this occurs between partners, this is a trauma-bonded relationship.

What are the signs of trauma bonding?

All people experience trauma differently. However, typical signs of trauma bonding include:

• denial of the other person’s fault
• justification of their actions
• increasing isolation from support structures
• increasing dependence on the partner

What are the 7 stages of trauma bonding?

Some people define trauma bonding in seven stages. There are:

• love bombing
• gaining trust and increasing dependency
• criticism and devaluation
• gaslighting
• submission and resignation
• loss of self and value
• emotional dependence

Abuse is never your fault. Neither is the development of a trauma bond.

It may take some time to regain a sense of self-worth and feel like you’ve finally broken free, but support from a trained professional can make all the difference.”

Go to www.harmonioushealth4life.com/contact to schedule a time to meet with me virtually or in person.

Although I have training (and lived experience) in Trauma Informed Approach, Trauma Informed Schools and Trauma Informed Yoga, I fell into a “Trauma Bond” relationship early in my recovery from prescription drug addiction. As much training as I have, once I was “bonded” I found it heartbreaking (used to emotional abuse as my compass) to leave. 

I now have nearly 11 years of sustained recovery where I support others in recovery from addiction and mental health disorders. 

Once I entered into a healthier relationship with myself, with God and with another, my “compass” pointed me in a whole new direction.

I am on a path towards deeper healing, a lifelong journey, and I am never alone on my journey, or in my work.

I know who I am. I love who I have become, and I only invest in a partner, a friend, family and acquaintances who invest in me.

We build equity. We are so excited about our future as we plan to move forward. And we stand right beside each other at all times where nothing and no one has the opportunity to break our “Divine bond.”

A trauma bond is built on unhealthy behaviors and abuse. It is cyclical. It can even be impacted by our hormones, specifically a dopamine surge during the time that the abusive partner/child/parent showers one with physical affection, gifts, etc.

A healthy relationship continues to move forward with unconditional love, devotion, joy, integrity, transparency, and mutual purpose, with God at the center of it all. 

A healthy relationship not only says, “I love you,” but aligns their words with loving behaviors where we never have to wonder what today will bring from an unpredictable, unwell partner.

If you would like one on one support and an opportunity to work with me to heal, sign up at www.harmonioushealth4life.com/contact. 

Love and blessings,

Wendy