VISION: I SEE, HEAR, AND FEEL BEYOND MY PHYSICAL LIMITATIONS
“At last, my love has come along.
I found a dream that I could speak to
A dream that I can call my own
I found a thrill to press my cheek to
A thrill that I have never known.”
HOPELESSLY DEVOTED TO YOU:
“My head is sayin’, “Fool, forget him”
My heart is sayin’, “Don’t let go
Hold on to the end”, that’s what I intend to do
I’m hopelessly devoted to you.”
I’ll NEVER LOVE AGAIN:
“When we first met
I never thought that I would fall
I never thought that I’d find myself
Lying in your arms,
And I wanna pretend that it’s not true
Oh, baby, that you’re gone
‘Cause my world keeps turnin’, and turnin’, and turnin’
And I’m not movin’ on
Don’t wanna feel another touch
Don’t wanna start another fire
Don’t wanna know another kiss
No other name fallin’ off my lips
Don’t wanna give my heart away
To another stranger
Or let another day begin
Won’t even let the sunlight in
No, I’ll never love again.”
Recently, I was told by a very wise healer/intuitive man not to doubt my intuition. I knew exactly what he meant.
I have known for most of my life that I am blessed with a gift of spiritual “knowing” and intuition. It’s divine direction and guidance, as the Universe interacts with me through many paths of Higher Communication. In the years of recovery from my prescription drug addiction, and co-occurring mental health disorders, my spiritual connection is stronger than ever. My senses are in a heightened state of awareness and receiving. I am blessed to be fully awake to experience all of the beautiful and meaningful moments of life, as well as those I am made aware of beyond my physical limitations.
A recent spiritual encounter happened in January, 2020, where I was shown very specific information. I had been missing an ex who had been my love for a very long time—and at this time, although we kept in touch intermittently, we had been apart for two years to be exact due to our breakup in January, 2018, after being together for three years. Steve and I had been madly in love, living together most of the time and about to move in permanently, and we were engaged (what we considered the equivalent of marriage) but we both brought unhealed trauma into our current relationship that made it painful and difficult to navigate. Many times we would inadvertently be triggered by each other, and each time it became more difficult to recover. We sought short term therapy to no avail. We separated on January 13, 2018. We were both seriously heartbroken. Neither of us had the tools at that time that are truly needed to navigate our differences selflessly where we must practice self care, as well as care for our beloved at the same time. Neither of us had healed enough yet from previous stress and trauma, and each time we differed, it drained us both of our energy. Spirit had been reassuring me all along that Steve, and I, would for certain find our way back to each other. Steve would intermittently keep in touch, and we would profess our love for each other. I would send him love energetically multiple times a day, and I could feel him intuitively receiving my love. However, we must always live by Divine timing. I could feel the deep loving, spiritual energy between my love and I every day. Not once did I doubt that at the perfect time as the Universe coordinated this reunion, Steve and I would find each other again, and that led by Spirit, we would know at that time if we were meant to be together for a season, or a lifetime. I knew we would forever be connected energetically steeped in love, guided by the Divinity within us, and always blessed by Spirit to have shared love, time and space, even if it were to be temporary. Just two days ago as of this writing, in January 2020, the synchronicities and messages from Spirit became so clear that Steve and I would be brought together on January 17, 2020. These clear signs were exactly what I had envisioned and believed with certainty.
I share this often in my book because it has deep meaning to me… A Course in Miracles says, “Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait, and wait without anxiety.” This became my mantra over the years. Although I missed Steve terribly, I was certain of the outcome of at least seeing him once again. I was also prepared to let him go if Spirit communicated that would be in our highest blessings. I would trust the process. I would trust that God/Spirit/Universe knows what would serve us at this time in our lives, both of us being in our 60s, and perhaps in different places in our lives that were not in alignment. I would wait for that information. I lived my life every moment to the fullest, in joy, in the present moment, with family, friends, and work, waiting with a full expectation of a miracle for us to meet again, whether for a short time, or if it would be our “always and forever.”
Steve had come into my life in December, 2014, not quite two years into my recovery. He was there to guide me, and to cheer me on during so many life lessons and Divine learning experiences. I always said he was the smartest man I know, and I know that he loved me deeply, and I him. I valued his insight and life wisdom. He used to call me a “butterfly.” I broke out of the darkness of my cocoon , and wings in tow, I was free…as a butterfly.
When we would awaken in the morning, he would smile that beautiful smile with that gorgeous dimple and say, “Good morning, sunshine!” And, as he kissed me goodbye at the door as I left for work as a Recovery Specialist at the Mental Health Association, he would always say, “Go save lives.” He was so proud of me, and the work that I was doing. When I returned home, he’d say, “How was your day, and don’t leave out any details!” Steve was my best friend, and the love of my life. He could make me laugh like no other. We had a special prayer that we prayed every morning, and even when we were in different physical locations, we would pray together over the phone. I have never loved so deeply before, and certainly, not since. I am at peace knowing that I had a true love experience, and I enjoy my life, solo, with my family and friends, and my career, no longer seeking another love. My experience of this love, especially one that Steve and I know was Divinely orchestrated, is irreplaceable. I do not seek to even try to replace it. And, I am so deeply grateful for the experience. Through this Divinely orchestrated love, I learned so much about my true capacity to love another, only in the name of love. Steve was my soulmate, my “blood flame,” my Twinflame, my family, my best friend, my confidant, my love.
As the day went on January 17, 2020, the signs, through the Universe/God/Spirit, became deafening in a beautiful and reassuring way. Through music, through other’s words, and through my intuition. I had been invited by my friends Jason and Ann to attend a music event. I “knew” that Steve would be there. I could feel it in my gut. Our song, “At Last” had been playing throughout the last week more than usual followed by a “theme” of “reunion” music offering information through this music, and a week prior, a car had passed me on my way home from work with the license plate “Atlast2.” Steve’s name, first and last, continued to reveal itself to me, and our number 555 as well. Daily signs, messages, synchronicity from Spirit showed up. I was beyond excited. I longed to see my love again.
As I pulled into the venue to meet Jason and Ann, I heard our song play on Pandora. I also asked the Universe on my drive there to show me our number (Steve’s birth month and birth year) for further validation, and as I pulled up to the light before the venue, a truck pulled alongside of me with a license plate with the last three numbers 555! Then, as I said thank you to Spirit and started to get very emotional, loud sirens began to blow right where I was driving. In the past, Spirit has made loud declarations in this way! It has been my sign of validation of Spirit’s communication. I was getting so excited! I could not wait to see Steve. I was experiencing that “certainty and knowing!” It was thrilling! We hadn’t seen each other in so long! As I was about to get out of my car at the venue, through my rear view mirror, I could see a car began to back up into the space next to me. It was dark, but I could see the license plate and make of the car, and my heart began to race with excitement. I got out of my car, and there was Steve behind the wheel! He saw me, looked shocked, and motioned for me to approach. I actually felt lightheaded and began to feel faint as I approached my beloved. In fact, I think I lost my balance for a moment! I was nervous and excited at the same time. Everything that I “knew” to be true and that I was certain of through spiritual communication had come to fruition. I had dreamed about, and prayed for this day.
That night was a reminder and validation that everything that I feel and believe energetically and spiritually is a manifestation of my positivity, my beliefs, and my gorgeous spiritual practice that keeps me connected to the truth through the loving guidance of the Universe/God/Spirit. Steve and I danced, we flirted, and we hugged. With us, our deep soul love, we don’t need words to feel the love. We are love, and in love with each other, and it is palpable to us and to anyone in our company. Steve and I both have said that we have never truly been in love before we met. A first for both of us.
Although Spirit eventually revealed to me in May, 2020, that my love and I were only fated for a season, I trust that there is a Divine blessing in this separation. I may never know what that is, but my faith is so strong, that I “know” it is in both Steve and my highest blessings. We have been so blessed to have found each other and to share the time and experiences that we had enjoyed as a couple, and with our beautiful children, and grandchildren. Even when people leave our lives physically, love always keeps them close in memory, and in matters of the heart. Steve Roman, you will have a piece of my heart, always and forever. May God always bless you and your beautiful family. God always has the last word, so I take comfort in that.
I love you, always and forever.
“This is all I know, so far.”
QUOTES AND THOUGHTS ON ENVISIONING AND SPIRITUAL SIGNS
We co-create our masterpieces. Envision it daily, stand firm in a spiritual practice that resonates with you, believe with certainty all that you know, and wait patiently in excitement and certainty. Communication with Spirit is my most treasured time of each and every day, even if the message doesn’t align with my desires because I am certain that Spirit is demonstrating unconditional love that which I have never before experienced. Unwavering faith. This is my grounding principle to the foundation of my wellness.
Every artist excitedly memorializes their art and yearns to share its beauty and message. Each morning I sit and reflect and I meditate and pray for divine guidance for the day. As each detail is revealed to me and my “knowing” and intuition are validated, I add another tile to my mosaic as I continue to see my vision come to life. I record each and every beautiful stroke as the tiles continue to tell a story. My story. The story that began with a troubled soul like a caterpillar in the darkness of a cocoon, that has now evolved into a magnificent butterfly flying freely and experiencing abundance through the Divine. I’m living in blissful harmony, always in the present moment, and stopping to smell all of the flowers along the way. I am connected to the Universe, always with my loved ones in my heart. We’re connected soul to soul, no matter where we are in the physical realm. My intuition guides me. Spirit is always my guide. This book, is my recorded masterpiece.
Through Kything, a communion skill, a spirit-to-spirit loving presence which can bring about a deep sense of peace, I connect to my loved ones. I offer them an expression of my love and support, and let them know I am always with them through the flowing energy of the Universe.
My artwork, my writing, is a reflection of my soul. It has expression that reveals inner beauty and rich and vibrant color with a stillness that offers energy and healing from the cracks that once broke my foundation. Those cracks are now barely visible to others, yet are always a part of my tapestry. They are a reminder that Isurvived, even with all of the cracks in my foundation. I am always renovating, and yes, sometimes, even rebuilding.
My walk has purpose. I’m not always certain of the path, yet I know where I am headed, one slow and purposeful step at a time. I am never afraid as I walk along my spiritual path, and I am always certain that I am never alone.
Our perspective is what we choose to see. Our willingness to see beyond our limiting beliefs allows us to create the opportunity to reorganize and reassign our energy to awaken to new ideas and new solutions.
Simply state what you desire. Envision it in color. You draw the sketch and allow the Universe to fill in the details. Then wait patiently with faith. A masterpiece cannot be rushed. And when it has been completed and you have reached your destination, perhaps only then, do we understand the journey.
What do you envision? Are you open to Divine communication?
What do you see and hear when you look beyond your physical limitations?
What does your masterpiece look like? Using descriptive words, write your blueprint, and include the details of how your spiritual practice helped you to “see” and to be certain of the outcome. Signs? Intuition? Events? Synchronicity? Music? Technology? Write them down.
Is there a spiritually orchestrated relationship or situation that you have recently experienced? What did you learn through this experience? What is your takeaway?
You may want to start your own “Spiritual Log” to document your experiences to be shared to inspire others to Write Pray Recover!
Today, I completed the final edits on my book and have submitted for publishing.
My excitedly anticipated book, WRITE PRAY RECOVER:A JOURNEY TO WELLNESS THROUGH SPIRITUAL SOLUTIONS AND SELF CARE is tentatively set for publication by Christmas, 2021!
Please check back for updates, and upcoming free giveaways!
Love and blessings,